“So she’s still isolating herself?” Brian asked Jc while they were both in the studio. They were helping Nick and Jordyn get some last minute tracks on board.

“She’ll talk to me but that’s about it.” Jc admitted. “If she so much as sees a baby in a stroller she starts crying. And I think she flinches every time she sees a pregnant woman when she goes to work.”

“Does her boss know what’s going on?” Brian asked. Jc nodded.

“I told her about it. She’s going to give Becca about a month’s time off. I was told to call her if I thought she was going to need more.” Jc said solemnly. “I don’t know if it’s going to do any good. In fact I don’t think it will. But I want to make sure she’s safe.”

“It’s good that you want to keep an eye on her.” Brian said. “Any decent husband would want to if their spouse was hurting like this. But I do agree with you that keeping her with you at all times isn’t going to help her much. If anything you’ll end up becoming more like her parents in her mind.”

“That’s what scares me the most.” Jc replied nodding biting his lip. “Speaking of Becca’s family I needed to ask you something about that.”

“Okay. That’s what I’m here for.” Brian said nodding. “Ask away.”

“Okay so the deal is that Becca’s aunt is potentially dying and Becca’s parents think that she should come home for a couple days and visit her.” Jc shook his head. “I don’t trust my in-laws for a second. But Becca loves her aunt so I’m pretty torn.” Brian nodded.

“Thing is you need to take her to her aunt. She needs to see her only relative that gives a damn about her. I would stay wither her at all times and keep her parents contact with her at a minimum. But you should take her. Now again with the baby thing. You need to get her to understand that her life isn’t over. I’ve got a friend who specializes in this kind of thing so maybe she can talk to Becca about it. But the most you can do right now is being there for her.” Jc nodded and went back to working on the tracks. Jordyn came into the room with Tyler in tow. Nick was still preoccupied with Angelica who had decided that this was going to be fussy bloated belly day.

“How’s the track coming along?” She asked. Tyler is sucking his thumb and looking at Brian with curiosity.

“It’s almost done” Jc responded clicking on one of the adjusters. “Just a couple more minutes and it’ll be done.”

“Perfect.” Jordyn said. “If things keep going like this we should have the album out by March. It’s nice to see something going smoothly in life for once.” Brian didn’t say anything and Jc shot her a glare. “Sorry Jayce but you’ve got to admit things are getting pretty crazy here.”

Jc turned his head away not saying anything. He knew Jordyn had a hard time understanding these things but he still got frustrated by it. Becca was his wife. She was going through a rough time. Still he did have a job to do. He couldn’t worry forever.

Finished with the track, Jc went home. Brian followed Jordyn down into the living room where Nick was bouncing Angelica around the room showing her all the household appliances. Jordyn laughed a little bit but it was proving to be effective. Angelica was distracted from her achy tummy and was actually showing off a cute toothless grin.

“And this is the dishwasher. And this is the fridge. And THIS is the TV where Mommy and Daddy have to watch Barney with you and your brother.” Nick carried Angelica into the living room where Jordyn finally cracked up laughing.

“Good god you’ve finally lost it.” She said. “I never thought I’d live to see the day.”

“Hey don’t blame me blame the fact that the kid has a hurt belly and needs attention and distraction asap.” Nick pointed out.

“Fine you win this round.” Jordyn replied. “But it’s still scary when you talk like that.” Jordyn said grinning.” Nick rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. He knew it was weird but it was nice seeing her in a good mood. Brian watched them smiling.

“Your kids are wonderful.” He said. “Lance and I are thinking about having a couple of our own.”

“Lance told me about that.” Jordyn said. “I think it’s a good idea. You two would make good parents.”

“Yeah you would” Nick agreed. “So what are you planning on doing?” He asked.

“Well we’re thinking about adopting but we might ask for someone to be a surrogate for us.” Jordyn raised an eyebrow at this. Nick didn’t like it when she did that. It meant she was thinking something he probably wasn’t going to like.

*

The next two weeks went by quietly for the most part. Brian did eventually find a person who would be a therapist to him but his first appointment with her wasn’t for another week. The album was coming along smoothly and would probably be coming out within the next month. Tyler and Angelica were now starting to talk. It was along the lines of attempts of making sounds that bared some resemblance to a word but for kids who were nearly a year old it wasn’t bad.

Things at the Chasez-McFarland residence on the other hand were still on the down side. They weren’t fighting but Jc knew that Becca was still hurting. She insisted that she was fine but Jc knew better. Finally he called Brian and Lance up and asked them about their counselor friend. Within the week there was a knock at the door. And the bunnies were squeaking… again. Jc and Becca had given up on building the rabbit hutch.

“Hello?” Jc asked when he opened the door. In front of him was a pretty woman with dark hair.

“Hi. I’m Amy.” She said. “I’m here to see Becca. Are you her husband?”

“Yeah. I’m Jc.” Jc said moving aside for her to enter the house. “I didn’t know you made house calls.”

“I just think that for the first few sessions we should have then in a setting that’s more comfortable for her. But before we start I want to ask you some questions about you and your marriage. How large is the age difference between you and your wife?”

“About four years.” Jc replied. “I’m nearing 23 and she’s nineteen.”

“I see.” Amy nodded.

“I know it sounds really bad but we both went through some tough times together and we needed assurance with our lives and marriage seemed like the best idea. It was going really well for us until the miscarriage. But that’s why you’re here.”

“Yeah. And I understand. Brian and Lance filled me in on that. So were you two planning on having children before this had happened and if so had you been having difficulty getting pregnant?”

“No. I told her family I wouldn’t get her pregnant before she turned twenty and we both felt like we could wait. We wanted to start a family but I didn’t want to get her hurt. What happened was we forgot to use a condom a couple of times and well…”

“Okay. Well that should do it then. If you can show me to where Becca is-” Amy said writing down some stuff on a notepad.

Jc nodded and lead her up the stairs to their room where Becca was sleeping. Jc had insisted that he take Becca home. The hospital had argued and asked that she stay there and let one of their psychologists talk to her but Jc had never trusted those kinds of people. They just always seemed cold to him.

“Becca?” Jc said walking over to her and gently shaking her awake. “Baby… sweetheart there’s someone here who wants to talk to you.” Becca let out a soft grunt and rolled to her side but did eventually sit up in bed. She still looked a bit blurry eyed but she was definitely awake.

“Jc for this session it might be best if you waited outside for a bit.” Amy said. Jc nodded kissing Becca’s forehead before leaving.

“I don’t want to forget.” Becca said as Amy sat down in a chair nearby. “They told me to try and move on. To try another option. I want my baby. Is that so wrong?” He voice was monotone and soft.

“I know you do Becca.” Amy said. “Who were the people who told you this?”

“I heard other patients whispering. Some of the other doctors gossiping in the halls.” Becca said. “Last I checked they weren’t supposed to talk about their patients.” Amy grimaced and nodded. She knew how gossiping interns could be.

“So tell me how you feel.” She said. “I know it sounds corny. But it helps trust me.”

“I feel numb in a way.” Becca said. “I feel angry. I feel sad. I feel disappointed. And guilty as well.”

“Why do you suppose you feel all those things?”

“Well I know it’s not my fault that the baby died. But yet I still feel responsible for what happened. I wanted to have a baby I could call my own but it’s not going to happen now. And now I can’t even talk to my friends about this.”

“Why is that?”

“Jordyn’s the only other woman I know who I’m able to talk to freely. I’m on good terms with my boss and co-workers but there are just some things you don’t talk about in the workplace. Jordyn has a hard time understanding things and I’m afraid that she’d snap at me. She has anger problems.”

“Ahh.” Amy nodded. “Becca… about the guilt thing. I’ve got something you should see.” Amy reached into the small bag she had taken with her. Reaching in she pulled out a manila folder that looked like it has one x-rays in it. Handing one to Becca it was clear what the x-ray was of.

“What is this?” Becca asked.

“It’s a picture of your uterus.” Amy replied. “A couple days before the accident.” Becca nodded; she had remembered that visit.

“The doctors had said they saw some abnormality but they said it was probably nothing to worry about.”

“Well they think that the accident might have just sped up the inevitable.” Amy said. Becca dropped the x-ray and shook her head in disbelief.

“No. No it can’t be.”

“Hun sometimes the body knows when something’s not going to work so it gets rid of it. I think maybe your baby might have known that this body wasn’t going to do well in the world so it’s going to wait for a better one.” Amy reached over and touched Becca’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. I’m not telling you to just get over it. But you can’t spend the rest of your life stuck in the same place in time. I went through something very similar. Don’t worry. You will feel that life growing inside you again.”

Becca curled up and cried. Amy went to the door and motioned for Jc to come in. Walking over to her Jc held onto his wife.

“Don’t cry baby.” He whispered into her ear. “It’s going to be okay.” He turned towards Amy. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

*

The next week Becca and Jc packed their bags and got ready to head back to Washington. Jordyn insisted that she and Nick go with them just in case.

“Justin I’m leaving you and Howie in charge of getting the album ready while I’m gone.” Jordyn said wrestling Tyler into his car seat. Justin saluted not wanting to argue – he knew something about music but not a lot.

“So what should we do if Ryan follows us?” Nick asked.

“I don’t know about you guys but I’m going to kill that son of a bitch.” Jc growled.

“Jc please calm down.” Becca urged.

“He’s right Becca.” Jordyn said. “Well not really. But if any of us see him we’re making sure he doesn’t leave without a black eye.”