Chapter 21

Abby froze at his words.  What the hell was wrong with him?  Was he intentionally TRYING to torture her?  Did he get some form of sick pleasure out of this?  “JC, you need to stop now!” she demanded, pushing against him again and this time he let go of her.

“Why?” he asked staring at her with a hurt expression.  “Am I not good enough for you?”

Abby stared at him incredulously.  “You need to go to bed!  You need to go sleep off this drunk stupor you’ve got going on, because it’s not flattering in the least.  I don’t appreciate these games you’re playing either.”

“What games?  I’m not playing games!”

“JC, just go to bed.  Please just go to bed.” she said heading off for the stairs to retreat to her room.  She could not deal with him when he was like that.  She wanted so badly to hear those things come out of his mouth.

She wanted to hear him say that he didn’t regret what had happened between them before.  That he had wanted it just as much as she had.  That he cared about her.  But not when he was drunk.  Not when he would wake up the next day and not remember saying any of it.  And not when he really didn’t mean it.

JC quickly followed her up the stairs and down the hall to her room.  When she tried to close the bedroom door he stuck his foot in the way to prevent her from closing it.  “Come on, Abby.  I swear I’m not playing games!” he called to her through the door.

“You’re drunk, JC!  GO TO BED!” she yelled back still pushing on the door trying to close it.

“But I wanna go to bed with you.  Come on.  Just one more time before you get all serious with this Jerome guy!” he said pleadingly.

Abby swung the door open.  “Are you COMPLETELY INSANE?” she yelled.

JC took that chance to rush forward and again grab her in his arms and began to kiss her.  “JC…you’ve….got…to…stop.” she mumbled between his kisses.

He pulled back and looked her in the eyes.  “Why do I have to stop?  We both want this.  You know it and I know it.” he said matter of factly.

“You’re drunk JC.  You don’t mean to be acting like this.  You’re just lonely or something and I’m the only one around so you’re doing WHATEVER it is you’re doing here.  You’re going to regret it in the morning.  So you need to stop now, before…” she trailed off.

“I need to stop before what?  Before you can‘t say no?” he asked continuing to star her in the eyes.

Abby stared back into his eyes.  “Yes.” she said softly.

“So then don’t say no.” he said, leaning in to kiss her again.

“JC…” she attempted to protest.

“Shhhh.  Just go with it.” he whispered.

Abby sighed as his lips continued to caress hers.  She knew it was wrong.  She knew she shouldn’t be giving in.  She knew he was drunk and what would happen in the morning when he once again came to his senses.  But damn it he was just so intoxicating.  His kisses were like a drug, and once he started kissing her she just could not get enough.

She slowly began to kiss him back, her arms sliding up and around his neck as JC tightened his grip around her waist.  Sliding one of his hands up to cradle her cheek.  He deepened the kiss, then slipping his tongue into her mouth to caress hers with his.  Abby moaned softly at the sensations that shot through her body.  Why did he have to have this affect on her?

JC slowly began to lead them towards her bed, as the kissing became more hungry and desperate.  It was like he couldn’t get enough of her.  When Abby’s legs hit the back of the bed, he stopped his forward motion and focused on kissing her deeper.  Gently sweeping the back of his hand back and forth across her cheek.

Abby’s hands wondered down his chest.  She loved the feeling of his hard chest beneath her finger tips.  She would never be able to get enough of that feeling.

JC pulled back from his hungry kiss and smiled at her, while giving her a little push that sent her toppling to the bed.  Then he crawled over her and leaned back in to kiss her again.

The next few minutes were spent kissing and caressing each other’s body before JC finally started to pull Abby’s clothes away as she did his.  No more thought was given to what would happen the following morning, by Abby as she was now completely lost in what he was doing to her body as he kissed his way back up stopping at her breasts to give them their proper attention.

She tightened her fingers in his hair and pulled him closer to her body.  JC smiled against her skin.  “You like that, huh?” he asked huskily as he continued to nibble and suck at her nipples.

Abby didn’t answer.  She was TOO caught up in the moment to utter a single sound, let alone any audible words.  JC kissed his way up from her breast to her neck and then up again to her mouth where he took her lips with his and ravished them passionately.

They were both now completely naked as he grinded his body against hers and she grinded back.  Then all of the sudden he flipped them so that Abby was on top.  Stunned Abby looked down at him questioningly.

“I want you to do it this time.” he whispered leaning up to kiss her.

Now that terrified her.  She had never been in THIS position before.  The few times she had been with someone before JC, she had always been on the OTHER end of things.  She was never on THIS end of things.

She pulled away from him slightly and hesitantly whispered to him.  “JC, I’ve never…” but he cut her off.

“I’ll show you.” he whispered back taking her hips with his hands and guiding them to where they should be.  He pushed her up into a sitting position which, made Abby very self conscious just sitting there on his lap, COMPLETELY exposed.  She crossed her arms over her chest to cover herself, but JC pulled her arms away.  “Don’t.” he told her leaning in to kiss her chest, his hands sliding to her hips once again.

He gripped at her hips momentarily while he attacked her breasts again with his mouth, then he slipped one hand down between her legs, telling her to lift up he took hold of his hard member to position it to where it needed to be, then told her to push back down.

Abby hesitated a moment before she did what he said.  She felt his hands grip tighter on her hips as her body took him into hers.  He leaned up to a sitting position himself to kiss her once again, as they sat perfectly still reveling in the feeling and sensation of their joined bodies.

As he leaned back onto the pillow he pulled her hands down to his chest.  “For support.” he whispered looking up at her, and then slid his hands back to her hips where he started to coax her movement with his.

At first Abby wasn’t so sure she liked being on top.  She felt too self conscious.  All she could think about was her exposed breast and how JC seemed to be staring at them hungrily.  But all those thoughts soon left her mind when she finally found her own rhythm and started to enjoy the power that she now had.  Power she had over HIM!

His hands were gripping into her hips, his head was tilted back in the pillow with his eyes closed and all she could do was star at the completely lost expression of enjoyment on his face.   She smiled at that and moved a little faster and pushed him a little deeper into her.

JC quickly sat up, and gripped her hips even tighter.  She stopped thinking she had done something to hurt him.  “Don’t stop.” he panted into her ear as he began to kiss her neck and down to her chest again.  His hand slid around to her bottom, gripping it and pulling her harder against him.  His mouth moved back up her chest, her neck to her mouth again where he hungrily attacked her lips.

Abby picked up the pace in the heat of the passion.  The sensations coursing through her body were unlike anything she had ever felt before.  The faster she went and the deeper she pushed the better it felt.  And JC was meeting her head on with just as much speed and stamina.

JC leaned back into the pillow, pulling Abby’s upper body with him so he could continue kissing her.  His hands planted firmly on her hips as he continued to hold onto her for strength.

Abby began to moan against his lips as he continued to ravish them.  He grunted when he felt her pace start to slow as her walls around him begin to tighten. “Keep moving, baby.” he coaxed her as he continued to move and guide her hips along with his.

Abby moved from his lips and buried her face in his neck as she tried to keep moving against the pleasure that was overtaking her body.  Her nails dug into his chest.  JC gripped her tighter as he himself was nearing his completion.  “God, Abby.  Keep moving.” he panted in her ear.

Abby pushed up off his chest, back to a sitting position and began to move faster and push harder against him and JC grunted.  His eyes rolling back in his head from the pleasure she was giving him. “God, Abby keep going.” he mumbled breathlessly.

The way he was talking to her empowered her.  She dug her nails into his chest and moved faster and harder against him until finally her body exploded against his.  JC felt her body tense against his and that was the final straw as his body too exploded.

They slowly continued to move against each other until all traces of the ecstasy were gone and Abby breathlessly collapsed against his chest.  JC wrapped his arms around her, pulling her snuggly against him.  “That was amazing.” he whispered into her hair.

“Yeah.” she sighed still completely out of breath.

“Come lay down with me.” he told her, gently leading her off of his body to lay beside him in the bed.  He pulled the sheets out from under their bodies to cover them.

Abby sighed when he pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her lovingly.  Her heart was filled with so much joy, yet so much sorrow at the same time because she knew that this was only a temporary moment.  Things would be SO different when they woke up.
 

The next morning Abby’s eyes fluttered open.  She was laying on her side and she glanced up at her alarm clock to see it was almost 11:00AM.  She sighed thinking back to what had happened the night before.  Her body still felt warm and complete from his touch.

She could feel him laying behind her with his arm slung over her hip.  She could feel his steady breathing.  He was still asleep.  Her heart broke.  She knew it would only be a short time before he woke up and began to freak out at what they had done.

She knew she should not have let things go as far as they did.  She knew that she should have stopped him instead of giving in.  She wasn’t drunk this time so she couldn’t use that as an excuse.  He would probably be upset with her.  Probably wonder why she allowed it to happen.

The more she thought about it, the more she began to panic.  Her heart began to race at thoughts of things he would say to her.  Those thoughts scared the hell out of her.  Thinking quickly she looked down at his hand and as gently as she could she removed it from her hip.  She glanced back over at him to make sure she had not disturbed his sleep and eased her way out of the bed, grabbing her close up off the floor and rushing into the bathroom.

She quickly and as quietly as possible showered, and dressed herself before tip toeing back through the bedroom towards the door.  She knew he had to leave that afternoon to head back to Florida to meet up with everyone so they could leave for the tour Monday morning.  She had to get out of the house.  There was no way she could be there when he woke up.

Glancing one last time back at him to make sure he was still asleep she eased out her bedroom door, and hurried through the house and out to her car where she hopped inside and drove off.
 
 
 
 
 

Chapter 22

JC laid there slowly opening his eyes when he heard the door quietly close behind her.  He had woke up the moment she had gotten out of the bed.  But instead of stopping her.  Instead of saying anything to her.  He laid there pretending to be asleep.

He turned over onto his back and stared at the ceiling.  He was so confused he didn’t know whether he was coming or going.  He kept insisting that Abby was only a friend to him.  He had insisted that this would NEVER happen again.  Yet, it had.

He thought back to the night before.  True he had been drunk, but he could remember everything clearly.  He could remember his forward advances, and her repeated declines until finally she had admitted that if he continued to persist she wouldn’t be able to say no.

He knew he was confusing the hell out of her.  Heck, he was confusing the hell out of himself.  But he knew he wasn’t ready for another relationship.  Bobbie was still in his heart, whether he wanted her to be or not.  But Abby was in his heart too.  How she was in his heart was becoming more and more of a mystery to him though.

He knew he cared about her.  Loved her even.  She was one of the sweetest, funniest, most caring people he had ever met.  She wasn’t like any of the girls he had ever been around before.  She was shy and very self conscious at times which made him want to protect her.  Yet, he had seen the stronger, harder side of Abby, which clearly showed she didn’t need anyone to protect her.

But the more he thought about that the more he wondered if perhaps she needed someone to protect her from him.   He felt horrible about what he was doing.  He cared about her so much.  She was a huge part of his life.  She was there when for some reason he couldn’t let any of his other friends be there.  And at that point in time they hadn’t really even been friends.  Yet, she was still there for him.

She listened to what he had to say without judging him.  She gave him the space and time he needed to get his feelings out without pushing him.  All she ever did was give. And here he was just taking and taking.  He didn’t feel like a very good friend at that moment.  But he didn’t know what to do.  He honestly couldn’t imagine his life without her in it.  She was far to important to him to throw away or to hurt anymore than she had already been hurt in the past.  But it seemed like at times he had no self control.

How could he go from just being friends with her one minute, to wanting her with every part of his being?  There was something there that drew him to her, and he couldn’t explain it.  But he didn’t want to hurt her.  But that’s exactly what he was doing in the long run.  His thoughts just weren’t making any sense.  Nor were his feelings.  And he DID NOT know what to do.

Throwing the sheets back on the bed, he got up and quickly threw his clothes on.  He walked down the hallways towards the living room hoping to find her down there.  He needed to talk to her about this.  Maybe she could help him make some sense of what was going on inside of his head.  She had always been able to help him with his thoughts before, why should this be any different?

When he didn’t see her in the living room he moved on to the kitchen, then the den, and looked everywhere else in the house she could possibly be only to come up empty handed.  He headed to the front door and looked out to find her car gone, and his heart sank.  “SHIT!” he grumbled as he raced back upstairs to his bedroom.

He quickly showered and dressed in clean clothes.  He made his way back downstairs to grab his car keys to head over to Justin’s house.  That’s the only place he could think she might have gone.

He drove down the twisty streets until he came to Justin’s house.  He pressed the buzzer at the gate and when Justin asked who it was and he told him Justin buzzed him in.  He speed up the driveway hoping to find her car, but his hopes were dashed when it wasn’t there.  He thought briefly about turning his car around and leaving, until Justin appeared in the doorway of his house looking out at him.  So he reluctantly parked the car and shut it off to make his way towards the door.

“What’s up?” Justin asked as JC walked past him to enter the house.

“Oh, nothing.  I just keep fucking up.” JC vented.

Justin studied him.  That was NOT what he expected to hear.  “What do you mean you keep fucking up?” he questioned.

“Abby.” JC said simply.

“Abby, what?  Is she ok?” Justin grew concerned and there was a frantic tone to his voice.

“I hope she is, but I really don’t know considering I have NO CLUE where she is at the moment.  I came here thinking perhaps she might be here but she’s not.  Has she been here?” JC looked up at him hopefully.

“No, she hasn’t been here.  I haven’t talked to her since yesterday.  Did she not come home last night?” Justin asked setting down beside JC on the sofa.

“She came home.” JC sighed.

“Ok, so then what’s wrong?  JC, you’re scaring me here.” Justin stared at him.

“I let it happen again.  I did it again!” he said.

Justin looked at him oddly.  “Did what again?”

“I slept with, Abby.” JC said flopping back into the sofa covering his face with his hands.

Justin didn’t say anything.  He got up and began pacing the room rubbing his hand over his stubble of hair.  JC looked up at him after a moment.  He was expecting more of a reaction out of Justin than that.  He could tell that Justin was upset about it by the way he was pacing, so he figured it wouldn’t be too long before he spoke up.

“Go ahead, J.  Tell me what an idiot I am.  Don’t hold back.  I agree with whatever you’re going to say anyways.” JC finally said when Justin still hadn’t said anything.

“You’re right.  You ARE an idiot!  I thought you said it was NEVER going to happen again.  Did you suddenly change your mind.  Did you suddenly feel like another roll in the sack was necessary?  What the HELL were you thinking?” Justin yelled.

Yup that was it.  Just as JC had suspected, Justin was REALLY gonna let him have it.  He was in big trouble now.  “I don’t know what I was thinking.  Everything was fine.  She left yesterday to go on her date.  The guy was really nice and all, but I just got really upset when she left.  I mean Justin, she was wearing this REALLY tight, short ass dress!  I’ve NEVER seen her dressed like that before!”

“And that made you jump in bed with her?” Justin glanced at him incredulously.

“NO!” JC whined.  “I don’t know what got into me.  After she left with him I started packing my stuff up.  And then I started feeling all sorry for myself because it was my last night in town for a few months and she would rather go off with some GUY than hang out with me.  I started drinking and the more I drank the more upset I got about the whole thing.  Then when she came home all smiling and happy, it just set me off.”

“What do you mean set you off?  Did you fight with her?” Justin stopped pacing and stared at him.

“Not really.” JC said looking towards the floor.

“Not REALLY?  What the HELL does that mean?” Justin glared at him stepping closer.

“Well, I questioned her about the date.  Gave her a hard time about it when she told me they went to the drive inn of all places, and she got pissed because of my attitude.  She said something about me lecturing her like her dad or something.  And I told her I was just trying to look out for her.  Then she said something about her being a grown woman and she could take care of herself if I hadn’t noticed.  And I just kind went from there.” he shrugged.

“Went from there?  What’s that mean?”

“I started flirting with her.  Hel,l I don’t’ know!  I said something about noticing she was a woman.  And I don’t know, she said something back to me about me being drunk and how I was acting and she actually laughed at me and the next thing I know I was kissing here.  She kept telling me to quit, that I was drunk.  To go to bed.  She told me I would regret the way I was acting in the morning like I did the last time or something and I told her I didn’t regret the last time.”

Justin’s eyes grew big.  “You told her that?”

“Yeah.  She got all upset said some other stuff and then headed up to her room.  I of course being the idiot I am followed her and finally got into her room and then started kissing her again.  She told me I needed to stop before she couldn’t tell me no, and so I told her not to say no and then kissed her again.  The next thing I know we’re going at it all hot and heavy.  And the rest well that’s between me and Abby.”

Justin stood staring at him.  “I cannot believe you did that.  You really have LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND!” he yelled.

JC slumped forward burring his face in his hands.  “I know.” he sighed.

“So what the hell are you doing here?  And where the hell is Abby?”

“I told you I don’t know where she is.  I came here looking for her.  I couldn’t think of anywhere else she would go.  She got up this morning and took off.  She thought I was still asleep.”

“You mean to tell me you were awake but you didn’t stop her?”

“I didn’t know what to say to her.  It was obvious by the way she was creeping around the room she was trying hard not to wake me.”

“What are you going to do now?” Justin asked.

“I guess I’m gonna go back to the house and wait on her to get home so we can talk about this.  I don’t know what I’m going to say yet, but I know we definitely need to talk about this.”

“What are you going to tell her?  That it’ll NEVER happen again?” Justin said sarcastically.

“I’d appreciate a little support here.” JC grumbled.

“Then start acting like the JC I know and maybe I’ll show you a little support.  I cannot support you fucking with her head the way you are.” Justin growled.

“I’m not doing it intentionally, J.  I would never intentionally hurt her.  She’s my friend and I care about her.  I don’t know what I’m doing ok.  I really just don’t know anymore!”

“Well, for both of your sakes I hope you figure it out soon.  Because I assure you JC, you’re my bro and all and I love ya, but I will not stand by and watch you mess with her head.  I’ll believe you for now when you say you’re not doing it on purpose, because I think I know you better than that.  But you’ve gotta fix this.  Either break down and admit you  have feelings for the girl that run deeper than friendship and do something about it, or back the fuck off!”

“That’s just it Justin!  I don’t feel anything more for her than friendship.  It’s like she’s there when I’m feeling low and she just has this presence around her that’s comforting.  I don’t know how to explain it.  Besides, I’m not ready to be in a serious relationship.”

“Then you need to stop this while you’re ahead.  Abby’s a vulnerable girl.  She comes across strong and everything, and I know she can be.  But emotionally she’s not used to this stuff.  You know as well as I do she hasn’t been in a lot of relationships.  She’s very self conscious.  And although I’m sure your lil’ endeavors are giving her a bit of a boost, they’re probably leaving her more confused in the end.  Don’t let her think you care about her like that when you really don’t.  It may not just be sex to her.  There may be more meaning behind it, which I’m hoping for your sake there isn’t because I’ll have to hurt you if you break the poor girls heart!”

“She’s never said anything about liking me like that.” JC defended.

“Have you ever stopped to ask her what her feelings are for you?  Do you honestly think she would just jump into bed with you like that?  I mean the first time granted she was drunk so that’s kinda iffy.  People sometimes do crazy things when they’re drunk.  But last night she had just gotten home.  She was sober and she slept with you.  Abby does NOT come off as that kind of girl.  I’m telling you there’s probably more there than you care to recognize.”

“How is it you seem to know so much about her?” JC asked defensively.  “She lives with me.  We’re better friends than you two are!”

“Listen to yourself, JC!  How do you know that?  Why does it even matter?  Me and Abby are friends.  In case you forgot I was friends with her before you took the time out of your busy Bobbie agonizing times to pay attention to her.  I observe her.  I see how she is.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure these things out.”

“Whatever.  I didn’t come here to argue with you about this stuff.  I came here looking for, Abby.  And since she’s not here I’m going to go back to MY house that I live in WITH Abby, and wait on her to get back so we can sort through this TOGETHER.” JC jumped up from the sofa and stormed towards the front door.

“Funny how you’re putting emphasis on the words that make it SOUND like you’re a couple!” Justin hollered after him and JC slammed the door.
 

JC sat at the house all day up until it was time for him to head to the airport.  No signs of Abby anywhere.  He tried calling her cell phone, but all calls were going directly to her voice mail.  He was growing increasingly worried about if she was ok.  It wasn’t like her to just run off like that and turn her phone off.  But then it wasn’t like they’d really been in a situation like that before.

He kept the driver waiting until they couldn’t possibly wait any longer.  Hoping she would show up to see him off, but she never did.  He reluctantly left the note he had written for her on the table by the door where she always laid her purse and keys, locked the house up and left with the driver silently hoping that he hadn’t completely ruined one of the best friendships he’d ever had.
 
 
 
 
 

Chapter 23

Abby retuned to the house later that night when she knew JC would be long gone.  She had spent the day wondering the city.  She’d hit the malls and shopped a bit, because shopping always seemed to make her feel a little better.  Then after that she hit the Santa Monica Pier.  She walked around there for a of couple hours, before heading down the road a bit to a different portion of the beach where she perched herself on one of the rocks to just sit and stare out over the water thinking.

She couldn’t really remember what she had thought about, as her whole thought process seemed to be completely screwed up.  Not much of anything was making any sense to her.

She had checked her voice mail on the way back to the house to find a good ten messages from JC.  He sounded really worried, not at all angry and upset like she had expected he would.  He was asking where she was at.  Begging her to come home, or to call him so he’d know she was ok.

There was also a couple messages from Justin trying to figure out where she was at.  He too sounded worried.  She surmised from his tone that JC had either called him looking for her, or had been to his house.  She also got the feeling from the way he was talking that he KNEW what had happened.  But then she had been wondering for a while if he knew more than he led on.  Some of the statements he would make at times and the way he would look at her and JC often made her wonder if he knew that she and JC had been together intimately.

Walking into the house she sat her purse and keys down on the table inside the door.  It was then that she noticed the envelope with her name written across the front of it in JC’s handwriting.  She picked it up and walked towards the kitchen to get something to drink before settling on the sofa in the living room.

She held the envelope in her hands staring at it for a while.  She was somewhat scared to open it and read it.  Not sure what she would find in the confines of the paper.

After staring at the envelope for a while longer she finally built up the courage to open it.  She tore through the sealed envelope and pulled out the folded paper.  She slowly unfolded it and began to read the words he had written.
 

Abby,

I’m sitting here waiting on you to return to the house.  You have no idea how worried I am about you.  When I got up this morning you were gone.  No note.  Nothing telling me where you went or why.  I guess I really don’t have to ask why after what happened last night.  I want you to know I’m just as confused as you are right now.  I know I promised you that it would never happen again, and I’m not entirely sure what happened last night.  Meaning I don’t know what I was thinking, because I DO remember everything.

We really need to talk about this.  I know that’s probably the last thing you want to hear right now and I can understand why.  But I really need to set things straight with you.  I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.  And it hasn’t been intentionally.  I would NEVER intentionally hurt you, Abby.  I really do care a lot about you.  You’re a very dear friend to me and I never want to lose that!  I know I acted like an ass last night.  And I’m sincerely sorry.  I cannot apologize enough.  I only wish I could explain what I was thinking, but unfortunately I don’t even know that answer myself.  But as soon as I figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.

Anyway, I hope you’re not too mad at me.  And I REALLY hope that you don’t have intentions of never speaking to me again.  I’ll try to call you later tonight when I get to Florida.  Or tomorrow after we get on the road.  But we really need to talk about this sooner or later.  Again I’m sorry.

Love Your Friend,
 JC
 

A tear slowly rolled down Abby’s cheek.  It wasn’t exactly what she expected to read, but it was close.  Her heart was breaking all over again.  She wanted to strangle herself for allowing herself to fall for him so badly.  And even more so for allowing the previous nights events to happen.  She just knew she had to be the stupidest person on the face of the earth.  She just had to be.
 

( 3 months later )

Abby was sitting at the airport waiting on JC and Justin to arrive.  She’d been there for nearly twenty minutes waiting.  According to the screens their flight was arriving on time so she hopefully wouldn’t be waiting much longer.

Over the last few months things had pretty much gotten back to normal.  JC had called that night like he said he would and they had a long talk over the phone about what had happened.  It had been probably the most uncomfortable phone conversation Abby had ever had in her entire life.

Sitting there listening to JC apologize over and over again for his actions.  Explaining that he didn’t know why he did what he did.  Telling her that he cared about her, that he loved her.  But only as a friend, which only confused him more as to why he would do the things he had.

He had really surprised her by point blank asking her what her feelings were for him.  She really hesitated on that one.  Was she supposed to lie to him and agree that she only cared about him as a friend?  Or was she supposed to sit there and tell him that she was hopelessly in love with him, after he had just told her that he didn’t see her that way?

Finally, he had answered for her.  He knew everything he needed to know from the silence on the other end of the line.  He knew that she cared about him more than just as a friend.  That in itself only made him apologize more.  He told her that he was sorry he had fed into those emotions.  Sorry that he had mistakenly given her some form of hope by his actions.  Sorry for everything.  Even sorry for the fact that he didn’t reciprocate those feelings.

Abby had cried silently to herself at the sounds of those words, but she knew that there was nothing she could do about it.  Even though she would give anything in the world to make him feel the same way for her that she felt for him, she knew it wasn’t possible to make someone love you when they didn’t.  She would just have to live with the fact that he only loved her as a friend and at least be happy knowing that he did care enough about her to let her know that much.  And to be so concerned with her feelings.

Things had been awkward between them for a while after that particular phone call.  But still JC called her to check in and see how things were going with her and to let her know how things were going with the tour.  With time the awkwardness seemed to fade away and things seemingly got back to normal.  Although, Abby knew in her heart that they would never be completely normal again.  At least not for her.

Then one night a few days after they had been in LA for a their show there Justin had called Abby completely distraught.  He and Britney had broken up.  He had caught her cheating on him.  He wouldn’t tell her who he had caught her cheating on him with, but she heard later from JC that he had suspicions it was Wade.

That broke Abby’s heart.  Justin and Britney seemed so much in love.  She could not understand what would cause the girl to do a stupid thing like that.  Justin had always been nothing but good to her.  He loved her with every morsel of his being.  She just couldn’t understand how Britney could throw all of that away.  It just didn’t make sense.

It was amongst one of the many conversations Abby had with Justin after all of that had transpired that she learned that her suspicions were correct.  Justin had openly admitted to her that he knew about her and JC when she had finally gotten the courage to ask him about it.

It seemed to help that she now had someone to share her heartache with.  She couldn’t openly tell JC how much she was still hurting inside because he didn’t love her back the same way she loved him.  And Justin was always willing to listen and be supportive, as she was for him.  There never could be better medicine for people with broken hearts than to share it with someone who knew how they were feeling.

So there she sat.  Patiently waiting to see the guys again.  She had seen them briefly while they were in town for their show.  They’d sent her tickets to go.  Mahogany drove in from Vegas and they went together.  But the guys didn’t stay in town over night as they had some promotional things to do in San Diego, so after the show they had immediately left to head there.  This would be the first REAL amount of time she would be spending with JC since that night.  And she was unbelievably nervous.

Sure things had been fine for the last two months over the phone.  But that was over the phone.  Seeing him in person was a completely different story.  She only hoped that she could be true to the vow she had made to herself to only look at him as a friend and push all other thoughts out of her mind.  She knew it would be no simple task, but it was something she simply HAD to do.

She snapped out of her daze when she heard Justin’s voice calling her name and looked up to see both him and JC heading her way.  She smiled at them and stood to greet them.

Justin enveloped her in a huge hug, actually lifting her off of her feet and squeezing her to his chest.  There was comfort in his arms at that moment and she NEVER wanted him to let her go.  But of coarse he had to.  And once he had JC immediately swooped her up in a hug.  Not quite as crazily as Justin had, but it was a hug none the less.  She could feel his hesitancy behind it.  She knew in the back of his mind he was worried if she would read into it.

When JC finally released her from his embrace she smiled at the two.  “Did you guys have a good flight?”

“HELL NO!” Justin shook his head.

JC smirked.  “One word.  TURBULANCE!”

Abby laughed at that.  She had been privy to all too many stories about Justin’s fear of flying.  She couldn’t completely understand it considering that they did so much of it, but she did know that she had never really liked it either.  Especially, when there was a lot of turbulence.  “But you made it here all in one piece, so that’s a good thing.” she smiled warmly at Justin.

“Do I have to reinforce how much I HATE to fly?” he asked.

“No, Justin.  I think we all know by now!” JC laughed.

“Guys, we need to move here!” Lonnie called from a few feet behind them.  The guys were completely oblivious to the standing crowd of fans that were only a good fifty feet away from them being held back by small barricades and a short number of airport security staff.

“YES MASTER!” Justin sighed.  “Come on Abbs.” he said grabbing her by her arm and looping it with his.  “Let’s give these fans something to talk about.  Let’s let them think you’re the reason me and Brit broke up.” he joked and Abby simply shook her head as she walked along with him.

JC followed closely behind them watching the two interact together.  They had grown even closer over the last couple of months.  They’d always been close before that, but now they were even closer.  He knew Justin had been right that day at his house when he said that he and Abby had been friends longer than JC and Abby had been friends.  That had really bothered him.  And it still did.  Especially now when he watched the two intereact together.  They had this unspoken understanding between the two of them.  That in itself made him jealous.  That jealousy he would admit freely because it was his own fault that he didn’t have that with Abby.  If he had taken the time to get to know her sooner, and if he hadn’t mixed everything up with them.  Mixing friendship with things that weren’t supposed to be involved with friendship, he could very possibly have had that with her.

But that didn’t make her any less his friend.  And that didn’t make him care any less about her.  It only made him wish he could go back in time and correct a few things.  But the funny part to him was that he wasn’t so sure he wanted to change the two nights they had spent together.

If he could change anything he would go back and change the time that he had spent not getting to know her in the beginning when all the other guys were.  But he wasn’t so sure he’d change the nights they’d shared together.  And that confused him more than anything.
 
 
 
 

Chapter 24

( Early July 2002 )

It had been roughly two months since JC had returned back home from tour.  So far he had spent the beginning stages of his hiatus just doing normal things.  He had gone up to Chicago for a weekend to see his Mom and Dad.  He had even conned Abby into going with him, telling her that if he went without her his parents would skin him alive after hearing so much about the girl.

Abby had been reluctant to go.  It just felt weird to be going to meet his family.  She knew it shouldn’t feel weird.  Friends met their friend’s families all the time, but under their particular circumstances it was different.  But in the end she was happy that she had gone.  JC’s family was wonderful, just as she figured they would be.

His brother Tyler had cracked her up the way he had flirted with her.  She thought he was totally insane, but again that made her feel a little better about herself.  And it was even funnier for her to see the way JC would scold him for making little innuendos here and there to her.  The whole trip there was just a blast for her, and she and JC had come back more at ease with each other than they had been in a while.

JC had also started going out a bit more.  Partying a little more.  He was beginning to win himself quite a name as a party boy which somewhat concerned Abby, but who was she to say anything?  It also bothered her that he was dating around.  Although she tried REALLY hard not to let that show.

Justin had been gone a lot in the recent weeks off collaborating with different people on his solo album.  He had sat down with her and gone over some of the lyrics and things he had done so far.  It saddened Abby to read some of the lyrics.  They were so expressive as to what he was feeling inside after his breakup with Britney.  But she was glad that he was putting that pain to good use creatively.  She had no doubts whatsoever that his album would be anything other than amazing once it was finished.

Lance was off in Russia training to go to space.  At first she hadn’t believed him when he had announced his plans to do so.  But the more he talked about it, the more she realized how serious he was about the whole thing.  And then when he had actually LEFT for Russia, well his seriousness became completely apparent.  But she had to commend him for going after his dreams the way he was.  If anyone could do it, she was sure Lance would be the one to do so.

Joey was off in New York prepping for a Broadway Musical he was going to be staring in.  He had called her after finding out he had gotten the part and she couldn’t help but be anything other than excited for him.  She could remember all the times he had expressed is desire to do just that, so she was ecstatic that he was getting that opportunity and promised him she would be there opening night.

And Chris, well she wasn’t totally sure what exactly Chris was doing.  He was pretty much just bouncing all over the place.  One day he was here.  One day he was there.  He was simply enjoying his time off and traveling around the country and spending some long overdue time with his family.

She was still working at the club, although she had cut back on her hours quite a bit as she was getting more and more business with the whole photography thing.  She owed a lot of that to the guys as they were always putting in a good word for her here and there.  And of coarse Justin had already told her she was doing ALL of his photographs for his album and promotional stuff.  He would refuse to work with any other photographer, which she had told him was completely retarded.

Tonight the group was going out.  Their little group consisted of Abby, JC, Justin, Chris, Joey and Kelly.  Everyone was in town and they had all decided to get together to go out clubbing and have some fun.

Abby had the night off of work, and at first she hadn’t really loved the idea of spending her night off from a club, in another club.  But she was slowly warming up to the idea.  She hadn’t seen Joey, Kelly or Chris in a while.  And it had been a good two weeks since she had seen Justin.  Not to mention the fact that she had never really been OUT to a club with them.  She had always been the one WORKING at the club and serving them.  So this would definitely be a change of pace.

She was in her room getting ready.  She had spent a good hour just deciding what to wear.  Sure she had seen plenty of clubbing outfits, considering she worked at a club, but she didn’t have the body that those girls had and there was no way in hell she could pull some stuff like that off.  Not that she had anything like that in her wardrobe anyways.  But she finally settled on another dress that Mahogany had picked out for her when she had been visiting a few months back and they had gone shopping.

It was a sleeveless dark brown crochet dress, with a rusty colored under slip that stopped just above her knees.  It didn’t cling to her tightly but the way it did freely lay against her body was just right.  It actually accentuated her curves and she thought she looked pretty good in it if she did say so herself.

She was playing with her hair, lifting it up then letting it fall back down, only to lift it back up again TRYING to figure out what to do with it.  JC knocked on the door and waited for her to tell him it was ok to enter before he opened the door.  “Justin’s here and the others should be here soon.” he advised her walking into the room.

She was standing in front of her dresser mirror with her back to him, holding her long brown hair up in a bunch behind her head twisting it and looking at it in different positions.  He slowly walked up behind her.  Secretly admiring the dress she had chosen to wear.  She never failed to amaze him.  Just when he thought he had her figured out she would go and do something different like this.  She didn’t usually wear stuff like that, but then he surmised that it was kind of a special occasion.  They were all going out clubbing after all.

“That’s a nice dress.” he told her as he got closer.

“Thanks.” she smiled at him through the mirror still fiddling with her hair.  “It’s…” she started but he cut her off.

“Let me guess.  One that Mahogany picked out?”

Abby looked back at him in the mirror to see he was now standing right behind her.  She smiled and nodded her head.  “Yup.”

“Well, she definitely has good taste.  It’s really cute.” he said giving her another swift look over.

Abby noticed his eyes trail down her semi bare back and down her body.  She had to smirk at the appreciative look he unknowingly had on his face with that glance, but she quickly diverted her eyes back to her reflection in the mirror to look at her hair once again.

“So are you almost ready?” he asked looking back up at her face in the mirror.

“Almost.  Just trying to figure out what the hell to do with my hair.” she said twisting it a little more to the back of her head and then studying it.

JC slowly moved his hands up towards her hair and pulled her hands away.  “Leave it down.  I like it down.” he said running his fingers through her hair to straighten it out.

“Um…ok.” Abby smiled softly at him in the mirror.

JC looked at her reflection in the mirror.  He couldn’t help but notice how pretty she looked at that moment.  “You’re wearing a lil’ more makeup than you usually do.” he pointed out.

Her eyes were outlined in a smoky liner with pale brown shadow.  And her lips were a supple red color from the lipstick she was wearing.

“Yeah, I was going for the whole club look I guess.  Or at least I was trying.” she rolled her eyes and shrugged.

“Well, you look really pretty.  You should fix yourself up like this a little more often.” he said his hands resting on her shoulders as he continued to study her in the mirror.

Abby turned to face him.  His presence was beginning to unnerve her.  She couldn’t stand it when he looked at her that way.  With endearing eyes.  Although when she turned to face him she hadn’t expected him to remain where he was standing.  She had expected him to move back.  Or something.  But he didn’t.  He still stood exactly where had been.  Which was only a mere few inches away from her.

He looked down at her.  “You ready?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” she said but neither of them moved.

JC just stood there and continued to stare at her and Abby didn’t know what to do.  The warmth from his body being so close to hers was setting off alarms inside her head, but her body was NOT listening to those alarms at all.

“We should probably go.” he said still staring deep into her eyes.

“Yeah.  We probably should.” she responded but still neither of them moved.

JC slowly reached his hand up to brush her hair back over her shoulder.  His fingers gently brushing against the bare skin of her shoulder.  “I told you I liked this dress right?” he questioned.

Abby smiled at that.  Was he in a total daze or something?  “Yeah, you told me.” she chuckled.

But he never lost the seriousness of his face.  “Cause I really do.” he reaffirmed slowly bringing his hand back up to her cheek.  “And I really do think you look beautiful tonight.” he said softly.

Abby’s breath caught in her throat when his soft hand made contact with her cheek.  She wasn’t sure what the heck had gotten into him.  Why he was acting the way he was?  She knew he hadn’t been drinking.  She couldn’t smell any alcohol on his breath.  But she was so caught up in his intense stare that she couldn’t seem to react any differently to it than to just stand there.

JC softly caressed her cheek completely oblivious to what he was doing as he stared into her eyes.  It was like it was the first time he had ever really noticed how pretty she really was.  He had always thought she was a pretty girl, but for some reason she was just amazingly beautiful to him at that moment.

His eyes trailed from her eyes to her full lips.  Memories of what it was like to kiss those lips suddenly filled his head and he unknowingly licked his lips at the memories.  Abby just continued to study his face as he continued to stare at her.  She couldn’t help but wonder what exactly was going through his head at that very moment.

JC looked back up to her eyes, and back down to her lips and then back to her eyes.  They were looking at him with such admiration.  Such yearning.  And at that moment he had never wanted to kiss anyone in his life as much as he wanted to kiss her.

Slowly he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers.  Abby’s eyes fluttered shut at the pressure and electricity that tingled in her lips at the mere presence of his lips against hers.

JC slowly began to kiss her, still cradling her cheek with his hand, while rubbing his thumb back and forth across the smoothness of her skin.  His other hand slid down her arm to her waist pulling her closer to him.  Hesitantly, Abby’s arms snaked up his arms and around his neck in return.  Her fingers finding the curls at the base of his neck, as she gently twisted those curls around her fingers.

Moments passed and JC nor Abby had broken from the embrace.  Instead the kiss was growing stronger and deeper as JC had tentatively slipped his tongue into her mouth.    Passion building behind ever sweep of their tongues meshing together in the warmth of their mouths.

JC’s hand slipped from her waist to her back to pull her body closer to his, as his other hand slid to the back of her head also pulling her closer.  Abby was running her fingers through JC’s curls.  Pulling him closer to her.  They were pulling at each other’s bodies.  Desperately trying to get closer, but it wasn’t physically possible at that moment.

JC’s feet began a forward motion.  He wasn’t sure what direction he was going, all he knew was that they needed some kind of support.  His body was growing hot from her being so close to him and he needed some kind of support.  Any kind of support.

They came to a stop when Abby’s back hit the wall, just left of her closet.  JC continued to kiss her deeply, placing one hand on each side of her head as he leaned his body against hers.  Abby’s hands had found their way to his back, and were gliding freely up and down his back in a soothing motion he could not ignore.

His hands began to explore her body.  Touching her.  Caressing her curves as he slowly moved away from her mouth and began to kiss along her jaw line to the bottom of her ear, moving down to the column of her neck and over to her exposed collarbone.

Abby was completely lost in the moment.  She had missed his touch.  The way he could make her feel with smallest of touches was beyond anything she had ever known.  She began to think back to the times before when her body had been blessed enough to feel his soft sensual caresses.  And it was that thought that made her snap out of her euphoric trance.

She attempted to push him away slightly but his body didn’t budge, nor did his lips that were ravishing her neck at the moment.  “JC?” she said his name softly.

“Hmmm?” he mumbled against her skin and just the vibrations of his mouth against her neck alone was almost too much for her to handle.

“We need to stop.” she whispered.

He pulled away from her neck and looked up into her eyes. “Why?” he whispered leaning back in to kiss her fully on the lips once more.

Abby was momentarily unable to speak as he attacked her mouth with his.  Kissing her deeply and passionately.  So much wanting and desire behind his every action.  “ JC, you’re not drunk.” she muttered as he moved off again to go for her neck.

“I know.” he mumbled against her neck.

“What are we doing?” she asked breathlessly.

“I don’t know.”
 
 
 
 

Chapter 25

Abby didn’t know how to take his words, but she couldn’t hide the fact that she was just as lost as he was in the moment they were having.  Once again her body and heart won out over what her mind was telling her and she allowed herself to slip further and further into his dreamy touches and kisses.

JC’s hand found the bottom of her dress and began to hoist it upwards as he massaged her thigh.  Abby was losing all sense of reality.  She felt like she was falling and there was nothing to grab onto.  Her eyes rolled into the back of her head when she felt his fingers gently glide over the silky material that separated her hot center from his strong capable hands.  She moaned against his mouth when he again rubbed his fingers across her center, only this time with a little more pressure.

“God, Abby how do you do this to me?” he muttered against her lips.

“I’m not doing anything.” she muttered back.

And to prove his point JC rubbed himself against her now bare thigh as he had hoisted the bottom of her dress up and it was being held in place by their bodies that were pressed together.  Abby could feel his arousal.  He was hard as a rock and that only made her yearn more for him.

“Do you see what you do to me?  I don’t understand how you do it.  But you do.” he whispered into her neck as he kissed his way down to her shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” she whispered back into his hair.

JC looked up to her eyes.  “Don’t be sorry Abby.  Just let me make love to you.” he whispered breathlessly.

Abby stared into his eyes and she felt like crying.  She didn’t know what to make of what he was doing or saying at the moment.  All she knew was that it felt completely and totally right.  And she wanted him more at that moment than she ever had before.  And with a silent nod of her head, JC leaned back in to kiss her.

His hands returned to her hips to grasp the fabric of her panties and he began to push them down over her hips, as her hands sought out his belt and began to fumble with it to get it undone and then moved onto the button and zipper of the jeans he was wearing.

When her panties hit her ankles Abby stepped out of them.  She gave JC’s jeans one last shove sending them to his knees and then moved on to his boxer briefs pushing them down over his hips to meet with his jeans that were now located at his ankles.

JC didn’t waste any time rubbing his bare flesh against her bare flesh.  The electricity that shot through his body in that moment was overwhelming and he couldn’t wait any longer to be inside of her.  He needed her NOW.  Gripping her thighs tightly with his hands he hoisted her up in the air, wrapping her legs around his waist.

Abby was taken completely off guard by that action.  She thought for sure they were headed for the bed, but he was hungrily kissing her now and she knew that he had reached some point of no return.

Held to her tightly, using the wall to help support her body he slowly pressed his body into hers.  He moved his mouth from her mouth over to her ear as he reveled in the feeling of being inside of her.  She fit him like a glove.  He remembered it being good the times before, but he couldn’t remember her body feeling THIS good against his.  Not having alcohol in his system this time around seemed to have a big roll in that.

He pushed further into her, gripping tighter on her hips and she let out a soft gasp against his neck.  “Am I hurting you?” he questioned softly against her ear.

“No.” she answered just as softly.

He pulled out slightly, only to push back in again, Abby’s nails digging into his back through his shirt.  He continued this slow torturous process until he decided to pick up the pace a bit and began pumping in and out of her in a swift fluid motion.  He was working at such a fast pace he was nearly out of breath and Abby was moaning out in pleasure into his shoulder.

That simple sound alone was enough to drive him forward.  Faster and harder. Clinging her body to his as he sucked on her neck and gently bit into her shoulder to drown out his own cries of passion.

When Abby’s moans began to grow louder he quickly covered her mouth with his remembering that Justin was downstairs.  And quite possibly Chris, Joey and Kelly too.  He hated to drown out her cries of pleasure because it only excited him more, but he couldn’t take the chance of someone hearing them downstairs.

He kissed her hungrily and thoroughly as he continued to pump in and out of her body.  She turned away from his lips to bury her face in his neck as her body began to feel the throws of her orgasm.  JC felt her walls tightening around him.  He could feel the near explosion in his body that was following close behind hers.  She squeezed her thighs tighter around his body to pull him closer and deeper into her and JC groaned at the glorious feeling.  He attacked her earlobe with his mouth.  Gently biting and sucking on it as she moaned and sighed into his shoulder.  Every noise she made driving him forward.

He picked up his pace even faster and began to push deeper and harder into her at her cries.  She was becoming so tight around him he could tell she was close.  She threw her head back against the wall, but that little thump didn’t seem to faze her one bit as she dug her nails deeper and deeper into his back as her body was beginning it’s inevitable explosion.  “Oh God” she cried out.  “JC…” she said his name so hoarsely that, that alone only caused him to move faster and grip her tighter to him.

She grunted and moaned at what he was doing to her body, while he buried his face in her neck.  When her rapture finally exploded, JC once again had to cover her mouth with his to subdue her cries of pleasure.  Her cries along with the tightness her body had created around his body was all it took to throw him into the explosion of his completion as well.

He once again buried his face in her neck as he continued to pump in and out of her slowly through the final throws of his ecstasy. He grunted against her neck at the sensations of his explosion.  And she almost didn’t hear him whisper, “I think I love you.” into her shoulder.  But she did.

“What did you just say?” she asked pushing back on his chest slightly, as he still had her pinned against the wall.

JC looked up at her, shocked by his own word