Come On Get Higher

I miss the sound of your voice
and I miss the rush of your skin

It’s been one of the longest months of my life. That’s the only way I know how to explain it. I swear I’ve flown all over the world, going from business meeting to premier, to this function and that appearance and it’s done nothing but train every once of energy I thought I had in me. I hate that sometimes, that this is my life and no matter how many times I tell myself I love it, it still doesn’t change the fact that it’s pure insanity.

I know that when it comes down to everything, I’m a perfectionist and I’d probably be going crazy right now if I wasn’t for the work but it’s been nice switching things up from music. Going on tour for those four months was hard on me but something amazing came out of it. Someone I find myself thanking god for everyday and right now she’s the only thing getting me through this flight.

It didn’t take long for the the public to catch wind that my so called ex girlfriend was dating another man so I was constantly under the target for the most annoying questions that were asked over and over again. The media seemed to feed off it and it was almost like the paparazzi had a magnet on me, constantly popping up wherever I was. The only thing that made it all manageable was the fact that I knew Caroline was on my side through all of it. I found myself reminiscing on the days I was actually together with my ex and I realize shortly after that I wasn’t in love. Once upon a time, it was convenient for the two of us. We were both in the business, attended the same parties so it made sense right? Wrong. In fact, when I think of how strong everything is between Caroline and I is now, I know I couldn’t have been more wrong if I had tried.    

My eyes are heavy, head pushed up against the window of the plane and I’m seriously counting down the hours until I land. We’ve done what we could for the last month to stay in touch weather it be late night or early morning phone calls. Sometimes just long enough to hear her voice makes it worth it. I felt bad taking off shortly after we officially became ‘officially a couple’  but I promised I’d make it up to her and that’s exactly what I plan to do once my feet touch solid ground. I worked hard to take care of everything I could that was pressing, making sure to get it down and out of the way so I could take some time off. Yes, me- Justin Timberlake- the workaholic, is taking a few months off. I’m not making music, not going so sing, act, mess with this business or that one.. I just want to take some time off to be me. To actually 'be' in a relationship, not meet up whenever it works with our schedule. To reevaluate my life and figure out what’s most important. 

I can't wait to see the look on Caroline's face when I tell her. She probably won't even believe me. 

I miss the still of silence
as you breath out, I breathe in

I breathe out a sigh of relief as the captain announces that we’re about to land and I brace myself for what will hopefully be a smooth approach to the ground. Not only has this been the longest month of my life, but it’s also been the longest flight. Delays here and there, weather, waiting, no other flights available, yaddy yaddy. Apparently I wasn’t meant to come home tonight.

I want nothing more than to leave my baggage at the damn airport and find the quickest rout home. Twenty minutes later, I find myself pulling my gray hooded sweatshirt up over my head, hoping to make a quick exit from the airport. It’s late, I’m not even sure what time exactly in LA because my time zones are so off but the fatigue that runs through my body tells me Caroline is probably asleep right now. I fight the urge to call her, just wanting to hear the sound of her voice but I know it will make up for lost time just be fall asleep beside her tonight.

I shuffle through the airport, security not far behind me as I sling my duffel bag higher on my shoulder. I’m not even paying attention as we step into the elevator as I hang my head low, my eyes heavy and my body weak with stress and exhaustion. I just want to be home already. The loud ding and the doors opening loudly finally break my thoughts as I follow behind my security guard, stepping out into the dimly lit parking lot. I’m a little more than thankful that it’s so late out and the area seems to be vacant for the most part. We finally reach the black SUV waiting at the end of the curb and I hardly have a chance to look up before a familiar voice stops me.

“Need a ride stud?”

I look up, a grin spreading across my face, looking back into familiar crystal blue eyes, my duffel bag dropping to the ground. She’s standing there in her usual sweatpants and a baggy hooded sweatshirt of mine, her soft hair pulled up and laying loosely on her shoulders. I don’t even wait a beat before she lunges forward and I’m wrapped in the sweet and sexy scent of my girlfriend as my eyes instantly fall closed and I breath her in.

So come on get higher, loosen my lips
faith and desire by the swing of your hips
Just pull down hard and drown me in love

“I’ve missed you Carebear.” I whisper in her ear, pulling back a little but keeping my arms wrapped around her. She feels too good to let go.

“How was your flight?”

My head falls forward, touching with hers. “You don’t wanna know.”

I don’t wait a second longer before leaning down and brushing my lips against hers. I feel her smile, her hand moving up through the hood of my sweatshirt so she can tangle her fingers through my hair. It’s been too damn long.

I familiarize my with the taste of her, the sweetness and the soft texture of her lips and it’s then I find myself wondering why I choose to be away for so long when the only place I want to be is right here. I pull away reluctantly, smiling when I see her eyes are dazed and heavy also.

“Let’s go home, babe.”

She smiles, reaching around me to grab my bag as we fold into the roomy backseat of the car. My body relaxes instantly as she opens her arms and I lean into the soft feel of her, humming against her neck.

“This is exactly what I needed.”

“Good. I’m really glad you’re back.” She says just as her hands come up and start to run through my hair, her nails gently scratching my scalp every now and then. She knows exactly how much I love that.

I miss the sound of your voice
The loudest thing in my head

“Mmm.” Those are the only words I can form right now as my eyes become even heavier. I allow my eyes to close again, this time just content to sit still, to feel Caroline all around me and not have to think for the moment. She knows I’m tired, seeing clearly what these long trips do to me and I remind myself how lucky I am to have her in my life.

The dark night passes by us quickly through the backseat window but I don’t pay much attention to it. We don’t say much, not needing words at the moment to explain everything we’re feeling. I let out a sigh of relief as we finally make it home, reluctantly pulling away from the softness of my backseat pillow. I smile as Caroline crawls out behind me, following me as we make our way inside the house. I reach for her hand instantly, heading directly upstairs and into the bedroom.

“You hungry?” Caroline asks me and I walk over to her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, shaking my head.

“Nope. All I want to do is sleep for a week.”

She laughs softly as I walk over to my dresser to retrieve a t-shirt to change into.

“You sleep for a week? Right. I give you a day to sleep before your up and antsy for something else to do.”

I laugh, rolling my eyes back playfully. Sometimes I had that she knows me so well because she’s absolutely right.

“I’m serious this time. I’m done with work for a while.”

She nods, and I can tell she’s unconvinced. I see her disappear into the connecting bathroom and I use the opportunity to peal my clothes off, stripping down to my boxer shorts and a t-shirt. I follow her trail, coming into the bathroom where she’s washing her face in front of the mirror, her hair up still up, dressed in a pair of pink plaid boxers and a white tank top and all I can think to myself is that she’s never looked better.

I come up behind her, hooking my chin over one shoulder, turning my face to bury in her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her as my arms encircle her waist. She smiles at me through the mirror, doing her best to rinse her face.

“You’re gorgeous.” I tell her, the need overwhelming and I find myself lucky to be the one standing here with her.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” She says, smiling as she dries off her face and turns around to face me, her hands resting against my chest.

I lean forward, my forehead resting against hers as I wrap my arms around her, crushing her softly against me.

“I really missed you, babe.” I say sincerely, taking in each feature of her face, the shade of her eyes, the softness of her smile, the texture of her skin.

Her smile widens before she gives me a half smile. “I missed you too, Jus. We knew it’d be like this though.”

I miss the pull of your heart
And I taste the sparks on your tongue


I don’t miss the hint of sadness in her voice and am once again reminded of how lucky I am to have my best friend by my side. She could easily date a man that works nine to five but instead she pushes that aside, loving me through thick and thin, through everything in my chaotic life.

“I promise it won’t always be like this.” I tell her, leaning down to brush my lips against hers.

I smile, tasting the mint from her toothpaste as my hands settle on her hips. I bring one hand up, resting against the softness of her jaw, taking my time to kiss her slowly, thoroughly. My tongue grazes the seem of her lips, asking for permission. Her mouth opens as I swallow her gasp, taking my time to kiss her thoroughly.

The need to be closer to her hits me hard and I don’t even think before lifting her slightly as I back up, setting her on the bathroom vanity, moving between her legs. He fingers tangle in my hair once again as my lips move to trace her jaw, down to her neck. I smile as she moans softly, a sexy little habit of hers that always seems to set my body on fire.

I always wondered if we’d have problems with this- being intimate after we crossed the friends and lovers line but that hadn’t happened. It seemed ever since that day in Tennessee that I showed up at Caroline’s house, we’ve taken things from there and fallen right into the pattern of being more that just friends. It still makes my heart skip a beat every now and then when I see the love shining through in her green eyes when she looks at me. I feel in every kiss, and with each touch, thankful that she doesn’t ever hesitate. She lets it all out there for me to see, loving me even with all my flaws from the top of her head down to the bottom of her toes.

And I couldn’t be more in love with her if I tried.

I continued trailing my lips down her neck, hungry for the taste of her, smiling as I feel her shutter below me. Her hands inched closer to the hem of my shirt before I feel them soft and warm run up and down my back as goosebumps form instantly on my skin. I slowly kissed the outer shell of her ear, knowing exactly what it does to her, my lips turning up against her skin.

And I see angels and devils
and god when you come on, hold on

“I thought you were tired...”

“I am,” I say, whispering against her ear. “but I doubt that’s going to stop me. I’ve missed you so much. The taste of your skin, your lips, your body against mine, all of you babe.”

I feel her pull my head up, her hands cupping my jaw as she leans forward kissing me hard as my heart drops in my chest. “Then take me to bed.”

I can’t prevent the growl that comes from my throat, deep and raw, turned on more by the want she has for me. I lift her, wrapping her legs around my waist as I walk clumsily through the bedroom before easily dropping her in the middle of the bed. I climb over her as she giggles, and it doesn’t take long before her lips are on mine once again.

I run my hands up the sides of her tank top, relishing in the warmth of her skin that I feel as her hands skate up my chest, pulling up my t-shirt, as I sit up a little to try to aid her. It’s not long before clothes are quickly discarded, and the feel of her warm, smooth skin is meets mine and I’m wrapped up completely in her. I find myself rushing, desperate for the taste of her lips, her skin, wherever I can find and then I’m suddenly reminded of what’s happening.  

“We need to slow down babe. We’ve got all night.”

She looks up at me through hooded eyes, and bites her kiss swollen lips but she smiles. “You were the one that said you were tired. I figured the quicker the better.”

I laugh, despite what we’re in the middle of as my hands come down, running over her face carefully. “I’ve suddenly regained some kind of magical strength. I’ve missed you. I want to savor this.”

She nods, her hands coming up and caressing my shoulders and my arms, each touch taking her time as I lean down to meet my lips with hers once again. This time, my movements are slower, savoring every caress, every kiss, letting myself re-learn every dip and curve of her body and and when it finally becomes to much, I join our bodies together, my breath catching in my throat like it’s the first time all over again as I swallow the completely sexy moan that escapes her lips. I move slowly, our bodies following the other as our lips crash, my heart pounding wildly against my chest.

Her body matches mine as the tips of her fingers skate all across my skin, sending that all to familiar feeling to run through me. When it becomes to much, the build, the tension, the days and nights of missing her, the feeling rushes through me and I can’t stop myself from burying my face in her neck. My lips and teeth graze her skin as my hand moves up and quickly reaches for hers, lacing our fingers together as I feel her nails, biting into my flesh and I know she’s right there with me. My name falls from her lips in a breathy whimper as hers mixes with a strangled moan against her neck.

I lie there, for how long I can’t seem to remember, our heart rates slowing down by the minute. I’ve managed to roll onto my back, carrying her along with me and she lays easily against my chest. My fingers idly move slowly up and down her spine and I smile at the vision she makes, her lashes showing over her cheek bones, a smile of satisfaction etched across her rosy lips.

“I love you.” I hear her say softly, hardly feeling her breath skate across my skin.

My fingers move to her chin, tipping it up slightly so I can look into her eyes before I kiss her quickly.

“I love you too, Carebear. I love you so much.”

The sleepy smile that graces her lips makes my heart swell and I’m reminded again how lucky I am to finally be home. Work may take over a big portion of my life but it means nothing to me when I have her to come home to. Someone who loves me through and through in spite of all my flaws. I may be a celebrity to millions but to Caroline, I’m still Justin; that kid who used to eat sand and chase her around when we were little.

We lie their in a comfortable silences, the soft thud of her heart beating against mine before her voice fills the silence of the bedroom.

“I missed you, Jus. I missed you a lot more than I thought I would.”

“I missed you too, babe. And I know this thing with us, it’s still new but I’ve never missed you like this before. I’d have a bad day or something and all I’d want to do is vent to you and have you listen and tell me everything was going to be okay.”

I feel her shift again as she leans up a little, folding her arms against my chest and propping her chin up. “I missed waking up with you. It’s weird how I told myself I never missed sleeping alone when I was single and now this,” She waves her hand in the air a little. “I missed your scent, the feel of you against me, even your snoring.”

I smile as she laughs a little before I go to defend myself. “I do not snore.” I say before Caroline raises a brow, challenging me. Okay, so maybe I do.

“You so do, Justin. And you know it.”

Her head falls against my chest again, reaching for one of my hands as our fingers lace together again and it’s all of the sudden that my mind begins reeling. I think about the last three months and how quickly our relationship began and how fast I was whisked back into work, flying here and there and the reality of it all hits me a little harder than I’d like. We’ve probably spent more time apart than we have together as a real couple and even though I know Caroline understands, it doesn’t make me feel any better about it.

I think about the weeks I was away, wishing she were there or I was here and her voice echos back into my mind letting my know that she misses me too. Being apart of just a part of life but a lot of people don’t have the money or the control that I have. I get to decide what I do and when and if I chose to never work another day in my life, I’d be set on enough money to support the both of us. I’m reminded of the five hour plan ride home, how time seemed to tick by slower that ever and how happy I am to be right here, right now and that’s when a bold decision finalized itself before I have a chance to second guess my actions.

“I’m taking some time off.”

Caroline looks up at me again, a confused looked written all over her face.

“What? Can you even do that?”

I wink at her before leaning down a little and catching her lips with mine slowly, taking my time to really taste her.

“Watch me.” I say, raising my eyebrows at her suggestively.

She sits up a little, the look of confusion still written all over her before I follow, catching her squeal on my lips as I roll us and brace myself on my elbows above her. Her hands come up to my face, taking her time to trace each feature before one of her palms rests against my jaw.

“You’re amazing, you know.”

I shake my head, leaning down to lay against her chest now and I don’t even wait a second before her arms close around me, holding my close and swallowing me whole. Nothing else matters at this moment. Not work or social events, not even music and that’s saying a lot of coming from my mouth seeings how music is everything to me. It’s not every day that a man falls in love with his best friend and I want to savor this relationship every chance I can. This is the one place I couldn’t wait to get to every day I was gone and I refuse to just give it up without a fight. Right now works fine for me. Right here, with her, I’m home.

Because everything works, love
everything works in your arms