What did JC say to me? What was his response? If you actually thought I'd get an answer, you don't really know JC. It's not like I expected an answer anyway. But sometime soon, I don't know when, I'll expect and will get an answer. Thinking of JC with Emmanuelle, whether it was friendly or whatever, was horrid. I'm sure somewhere down in Hell, Bobbi was laughing her ass off. But I deserve it, huh? All these years of trying to have my cake and eat it too was finally coming back to me. If this was how it felt, I'd never do this to another human being again. Ever.
In thinking about it, I thought of Justin. Did I make him feel the way I felt now? Was I on the way to making Chris feel like this? Oh no, Chris. I had to talk to him about our kiss. I couldn't lead him on, it wasn't fair. I have to tell him the truth. I owe it to him.
On a bright note, Lance invited me to go to Las Vegas for another Challenge For The Children. That was the signal it really had been a year. New York felt like yesterday and was now only a vivid memory. Why was it Lance always managed to throw me on a tour bus when I was amidst some personal journey to trying to better myself? I'm just gonna speak it into existence right now: something's gonna happen between JC and I, whether it be positive or negative, it's gonna happen. There. Now all I have to do is sit back and wait.
What? Everyone knows it's true!
2001: ONE damn bus!
Okay, my advice to anyone who never goes anywhere: befriend someone famous before they get famous. The perks are ridiculous. Vegas? What?! I know I'm not coming back when I'm legal to gamble, so I'm gonna enjoy the hell out of this trip. The only difference between this time and my other trips with the guys, is that we're all sharing one bus. One. Bus. ONE. BUS. The definition of chaos will have to be changed after this. I'll only be on the bus for a couple of hours, maybe four if the traffic is bad. That says quite a bit about being on ONE BUS with *NSYNC.
"Heyyy, who shoved a spoon in my ice cream?!" Chris called out.
My eyes widened as I pulled a spoon out of my mouth. Wuh-oh. I stuck the spoon down in my thighs before Chris turned around. His eyes darted back and forth between me and Joey. Shit, I can't swallow the ice cream, it's too cold!
"Who did it?" Chris asked.
"Wasn't me," Joey said, throwing his hands up.
"Zee..?" Chris asked.
"Mope, wamn't mre," I said with my mouth full.
"Zahra, ughhhh!" Chris yelled.
After I swallowed the ice cream, I started cracking up. I'm talking a good gut busting giggle. I hadn't giggled that hard in the longest time. I AM the worst liar. I had ice cream all on the side of my mouth. Simply terrible.
"I'm sorry, Chris. I didn't know it was yours, I thought it was community ice cream," I smiled.
"It is! Community of Calvin Kirkpatrick!"
I laughed and shook my head as I got up and walked to the back room. JC and Justin were sitting comfortably in their own spots, watching television. I came in and closed the door back, finding a spot where I could sprawl across them. I had my back against JC's legs and my legs were on Justin's thighs. Another perk of befriending the famous before they're famous? Furniture.
"Thanks for nearly dropping your midget feet on my ball-sack, I'm sure I won't ever need them," Justin remarked.
I rolled my eyes. "And you won't have them if you keep on. What are you guys watching?"
"I dunno, some chick flick. In my defense JC was watching it before I came in here," Justin said.
"Yet, he's hasn't moved for the last forty-five minutes," JC smiled.
"Whatever," Justin said. "What was Chris yelling about?"
"I spooned his ice cream and lied, terribly, about it," I replied.
"You know, we don't say you're the worst liar just for shits and giggles," Justin cracked.
"So I've noticed," I said.
"Shhh! Damn y'all talk more than black peop....ooh, sorry Zee," JC teased.
I smacked his leg, trying not to laugh. Maybe this trip wouldn't be as bad as I was thinking. Who knows, maybe just this ONCE, fun is all everyone's gonna have. For once, I wasn't going to make this about what was happening with JC. After all, the point is to do something for someone else and take a breather from the reality while doing so. Being in that sulking state I found myself in, I needed to have some fun. I will have fun.
I looked up at JC and saw something I can't believe I didn't notice. Appalled at my lack of noticing, I gasped. Oh my GOD, I think I'm having an orgasm. His and Justin's eyes shot at me.
"What?" Justin asked.
I reached my hand up and sank my fingers into JC's hair. "Curly hair...."
"Oh God," Justin rolled his eyes. JC smiled and touched my chin.
"Shut up, Justin," I said. "I like your hair curly, JC."
"Thank you. Uh, are you gonna check out the stuff with us before the skills challenge starts?" JC asked me.
I started to decline, but Justin shot me a 'don't you fuckin' dare say no' look. I cursed Justin inside my mind, and nodded. What was Justin Randall up to? I rarely saw his DYFDSN look, so he was planning or planned something. But what? Justin can't be trying to "fix" me and JC, right? I hope he's smart enough to know that he can't be Mr. Bucket, scooping up all the pieces. JC and I had to fix this on our own, we just needed time.
"Great. I hope we raise more money this year than last year," JC said.
"That'd be awesome. I was hoping I'd get to gamble," I smiled.
"In your dreams! If I can't go, you can't go. We can just watch Barney with the rest of the kids," Justin joked.
"Y'all stop. We are gonna be having so much fun, you won't even care about gambling," JC said.
We? Is that so?
2001: Viva Las Vegas!
The chaos on the bus ride was ridiculous like I said it would be. One thing I failed to mention was that I would be the one who initiated the chaos. Hey, it was only for two hours! If we were going to, I don't know, New Orleans, I would've just left it be. We played a mild version of strip poker. I lie. THEY played a mild version of strip poker, and I was the perverted spectator. Another perk of knowing the famous before they were famous? Tricking THEM into doing stupid stuff and not include yourself. Men.
When we arrived in Vegas, I marveled at the sights before me. I 'oohed' at almost everything. For a good while, I forgot about everything I was letting bother me. As I should, right? Maybe JC and I backing off a bit could be better for him and myself. I know I have a lot of growing up to do before I throw myself into a committed relationship. I guess that's what JC was doing and I had to understand. At least that's what I was telling myself.
I took on my position as Justin's assistant (yeah I've assisted him, I know) once we were getting off the bus. There were a few fans standing near the entrance to the hotel, and like always, the guys stopped to sign a few autographs and take a few photos. A few of them were whispering amongst themselves, trying to figure out who I was. I wasn't eavesdropping or anything, I merely heard.
I continued inside the hotel and checked in to get my room. I was handed a room key, and I assumed that I'd be getting my own room, since Lance never mentioned me rooming with anyone. I was so glad that air conditioning had been invented because that Nevada heat was nothing to play with.
I stepped out of the elevator, eighth floor, and walked to my right, searching for my room number. 806. I stopped right in front of the door, slid the key in and it clicked open. Before taking a real look at my surroundings, I closed the door behind me and dropped my bags near an armchair far off to the right. I gaped at the curtains and knew that I was in for a surprise because a matching window had to be behind it. The bathroom had a shower AND a separate jacuzzi tub. The vanity mirror? Every girl's dream, vain or not. I didn't take notice to anything else because I soon became entranced by the huge king-sized bed, complete with a plethora of pillows. I didn't ask questions, all I did was kick off my shoes and run to jump on the bed.
My body sank comfortably into the mattress. Oh, a little piece of heaven right in the bedroom. I didn't even move when I heard the door click open. Wait what? How could the door click open? I didn't order room service.
"Hey I-- JC what are you doing in my room?" I asked.
"Um, I thought I was coming into MY room," he replied slowly.
I coughed, choking on the air intake I just had. "Excuse me? This is my room, there's no way it's yours, too. Lemme see that key, please."
I shot off the bed and dashed to JC, who was still standing by the door, though he'd dropped his belongings near mine. JC handed me the key. I looked at the card, the numbers 806 were printed clearly on it. Ok, what the spectacular fuck is going on? Why does JC have a key to my— we're sharing a room. Why are we sharing a room with one bed?
"JC who booked the rooms?" I asked.
"I don't know, but Justin had to remind....JUSTIN!" JC said through gritted teeth.
Wow, Justin really IS Satan. I am going to kill him and send him straight home to Hell. How could he do this? Now that I got a good look at this room....it was no doubt, a honeymoon-type suite. Were Justin and the guys really trying this hard to get JC and I together?
"I'm gonna go get another room," JC said.
"Don't do that. We can share just fine," I said. It was true. We shared a house for years and we've shared a space together before. We'll be fine.
"Are you sure you'd be okay with us sharing?" he asked.
I hesitated for a moment. If anything, this room belonged to JC. He was the one in the group who was hosting the event. I was the unlikely guest.
"Yes, I'd be okay. We will be okay," I assured.
"Okay, I like to sleep on the--"
"Left side of the bed, I know," I finished.
A small smirk crept across JC's face. "You know that?"
"Yeah I do," I replied. "Now excuse me, I was busy before you came in. I ran and jumped back onto the bed.
"Scoot over," JC said.
My body still sank comfortably into the bed, and I felt JC climb onto the bed. He got up on all fours and began to climb over me. I panicked a bit, I wasn't sure what he was doing just yet. He caught my eye for a second and climbed over me to the left side of the bed. Oh. Yeah. That's what he was doing. Why do I feel a bit disappointed, though?
"This is gonna be weird, isn't it?" I asked.
"Only if you want it to be. We just won't talk about our relationship, or lack thereof. You say I don't love you, I say I'm crazy about you."
I chuckled quietly. "Right."
"That's our problem right there."
"What, me? I'm the problem?" I asked.
"Your attitude is. I'm laying next to you, saying I love you and you won't even listen," he answered.
"JC, I'm not trying to be righteous or whatever because it's not only you that's causing this, I'm not innocent either. I'm only giving you the space you need."
"I don't need space, I need you," he snapped.
"Then what's with Emmanuelle?" I asked.
"Nothing's with her, she's a friend," he replied sternly.
"I've seen the way you look at her, Josh."
"How do you even know how I look at her?" he asked.
"Because you‘d look at me the same way."
"I still do."
"No you don't. Look, I understand that you wanna explore your options. I'll do the same."
JC let out an annoyed sigh as he sat up. "You'll do the same with who?"
"That's nothing for you to worry about," I replied. I set up a few pillows behind me and leaned my back against it.
"Come on, who? That Montez guy? Justin?" he asked.
"What if it is Justin? What if when he's single, he and I try to work something out?" I asked.
I could see the veins in JC's neck pulsating. I knew this guy had to be putting his foot in his mouth when he told me whatever happened between Justin and I didn't concern him. Bull.
"It's okay."
"Stop lying. Cut the shit and be honest with me. Say what's on your mind," I demanded.
"Fine. What's happened between you and Justin?" he asked.
"We’ve had sex. Once," I admitted.
JC scoffed, brushing his fingers through his wild and curly hair. "Wow."
"Ask me why I slept with Justin."
"Why'd you do it?" he asked, not even bothering to look at me.
"I had this silly thought in my head that if I gave into my urges with him, the relationship between you and I would be safer. Stupid, really. I keep letting Justin be stuck in between us."
"Why? Why don't you come to me?"
"Because Justin's so easy to run to."
"Do you love Justin?" JC asked.
The ultimate question. If we're being truthful with each other, I have no choice but to give him total honesty.
"Yes, I do. But I've been brushing him aside for you. Only to find you did the exact same thing to me with Bobbi. Maybe you and I really need to try out being away from each other."
"No."
"You can't say no, JC. I'm not asking your permission."
JC snaked his way closer to me, straddling me. Smart. Since he's packed on a bit more muscle, I couldn't move. Whether I want to or not is to be determined. He moved his face closer to mine, our lips were close, but not touching one another. My body was screaming on the inside. God damn him.
"I'm saying no," he whispered.
"That isn't gonna change my mind," I said.
"We'll be together in here all night, Zee."
"Why would I have to stay single while you go and frolic with other women?" I asked.
"Then let me frolic with you."
"Is it really that simple for us? I can't shake you not being able to look at me without needing a paper bag to puke in."
"I'm not giving you a blessing so you can date my best friend, Zahra."
I love how he completely dodged what I said. Further proving my point about us needing space. And I never even said I was gonna date his best friend, but it's obviously a huge issue between us.
"How long have we been doing this tango? Remember that I've always had feelings for Justin. You set us up that way, remember? I'm backing off to give us breathing room. We've lost the most important aspect of our relationship and that's being friends. Can we at least rebuild our friendship?" I asked.
JC pressed his lips against mine for a soft kiss. "We can try."
Story Tags: friendsturnedlovers outdoorsex tour soloj triangles celebritysync jc justin friendswithbenefits
