That first night being in bed with JC was rough. We were so used to sharing a bed together, it was difficult to share a bed separately. How do I explain? Okay, sharing together is being able to hold and kiss each other. Sharing separately, is basically being friends. We're in the same bed, but there's no romantic feelings. But that's so not the case with us. JC would turn to one side and his arm would end up across my stomach. I found myself moving closer to him, and wanting to be near him. We even kissed a few times, because it was what we were so used to doing. Eventually, though, I ended up on my side of the bed and he was on his.
2001: Almost official
When I woke up JC wasn't beside me, but I could hear the faucet running and I knew he was still in the room with me. I got up, making my way toward the bathroom. I walked in, seeing JC's eyes glance up at the mirror while he was brushing his teeth.
"Morning," I said, grabbing my toothbrush.
"Morning."
"How'd you sleep?" I asked.
JC rinsed out his mouth, putting his toothbrush away. "As if you don't know."
"I do know, that's why I asked," I said.
"Well, it sucked and usually I have no problem sleeping. What about you?" he asked.
"Sucked for me, too." I sighed. "I never said this was going to be easy."
"Of course it's not, we're trying to suppress our feelings for each other and cover it up with false friendliness. We can't TRY to be friends, we never stopped."
"You're saying that after ignoring me for almost a year, we're still best friends?" I asked.
"We have problems, what friends don't? I'm saying let's be together and work on it," he answered.
"There's so many issues between us that being together cannot fix. For one, we don't trust each other," I said.
"You can be such an annoying snot sometimes," JC sighed, running his fingers through his hair.
I snickered. "You're a booger yourself, Jace."
"Is this really what you want?" he asked.
No, of course not. But I won't rush into a relationship, knowing you're not all there. Knowing I might not be all there.
"Yes it's what I want," I said.
"Alright Zee, then I'll respect your wishes. I'll do whatever you want me to," JC agreed.
"You will? Whatever I want?" I asked.
He nodded. "Anything."
"Hold me."
All I wanted was to feel his body against mine because for awhile, I don't know how long, I might not feel his closeness again. Without hesitation, JC put his arms around me, and I placed my hands against his back. He held me tightly, like I wanted him to, rubbing my back gently.
"What else do you want me to do?" he whispered into my ear.
"Promise that if I'm making a mistake by doing this, you won't say I told you so," I replied looking up at him.
"I promise." His lips gently touched my forehead. "Can you promise me something else, too?" JC asked.
"Anything."
"Promise that you won't avoid me or push me away, no matter how much you want to. That we'll still be friends. Always."
"I promise."
JC pulled back a little from our embrace and touched his lips to mine. It was a light kiss, his lips were soft and a bit damp, simply perfect. Absolutely perfect. I looked up into those eyes that always melted me to my core and I knew that was the beginning of how we sealed our deal.
2001: Festively Festive
JC and I were down in the lobby, waiting for the guys, so we could all head over to get CFTC started. JC spent half the time in the lobby trying to talk me down from killing Justin the second I saw him. That second I did see Justin, I shot up from my seat and sped over to him. Obviously JC's talking didn't work.
Justin saw the look on my face and slowed down his walking. I was smiling, and he indeed needed to be very scared. I looped my arm through his as we walked to the tour bus. We stepped onto the bus, and I could see Chris trying to decipher what the actual hell was going on. I pushed Justin into the very back room, closing the door.
"Zahra?" Justin said.
"Sit down." Justin plopped down on a bean bag chair immediately.
"What's going on?" he asked.
"I can't be-fucking-lieve you, Justin."
"What?"
"Did you have something to do with me and JC sharing a room?" I asked.
"Oh...that," he replied slowly.
"Justin." I was gritting my teeth, trying to keep calm.
"Okay, that was an accident, I swear it was," he started.
"Explain."
"I got the numbers jacked up. You were 806, and he was 816. But instead, I said 806 for both of you without realizing. I'm sorry I didn't say anything. If you want, you can have my room and JC and I can share," Justin explained.
"Oy vey," I sighed, placing my hand over my forehead. How Justin got 806 and 816 mixed up, I'll never know. Nor did I want to. I smiled. "You and JC sharing a bed? Can I watch?"
Justin rolled his eyes. "You need serious help. Everybody knows that I'm not JC's type."
"Oh please, you guys are so lovely dovey it's sickening. The fans have long picked up on it. When it all boils down to it, you're an Aquarius, he's a Leo, that could be a perfect match," I defended.
Justin looked up at me, grinning. Oh, no way. "Exactly. Perfect."
"I didn't mean me," I laughed.
"Does that laugh mean you won't bury me in the sand somewhere?" Justin asked.
"Of course not. At least not today," I replied.
"So you both are in that room. Did you guys...?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"No! We only talked and we're gonna just take some time away from each other," I answered.
"Are you okay with that?"
"No but I will be," I said. That was the truth. Not okay, but I will be. "He knows we had sex, so he sorta thinks we might date?"
Justin's eyes widened. Okay, now it's his turn to bury me. "He knows what?!"
"We were being honest, I'm sorry," I apologized. I was saying sorry for more than that, I just realized I threw him in the middle. Again. Shit.
"Now he's gonna think.... Aw Zee," Justin whined.
"Don't worry about it. It's not like I'll be prancing around with anyone of the opposite sex for quite some time."
"You can be so stubborn and annoying, you know that?" Justin said.
I rolled my eyes. "I've heard, but don't too excited Princess Black Pot. What's your reasoning?"
"You know you love JC and you don't want to see him with Emmanuelle or anybody else. You know he can't bear to see you with another guy, but you add fuel to the fire by insinuating I'm a candidate. Yet, you're set on torturing him and yourself."
"I think it's something we need. Come on, if something happened between you and I there's obviously no reason for me to rush right into a committed relationship."
"There has always been something happening between us and I don't know if that'll change or not," Justin told me.
"It can. If we're both single, I think we should test the waters, see what it's like."
"Say what? How is that gonna make anything between you and JC better?" he asked.
"He won't feel threatened by you and I won't have the need to run to you if I don't get my way. Besides J, we don't have to tell anyone. It's purely for us, just to see what'll happen. If we go that route and it doesn't work, then we'll know that it can only be a platonic thing between us," I explained.
"Zahra, this could backfire on us. I don't wanna lose you."
"Randomly fucking each other can backfire on us, too," I said.
"Zee." He was trying not to smile. Justin loved when I said the word ‘fuck’. Especially if it was in the content of sex? Oh boy.
"At least, let's try. No commitments or anything, simply sorting through our feelings."
"What if we end up falling more in love with each other?" Justin asked.
"I think that's our problem, we're not able to be more in love with each other. That being said, if we don't handle these feelings now, we'll either regret or be trampled by them."
"I dunno, Zee." He sounded very uneasy.
"Just think about it. I'm sure in another year or two I'll still be single, waiting for when JC wants it to be the right time for him and I."
"What if it never comes?" Justin asked.
"After JC and Emmanuelle's relationship have run it's course, he should be ready."
Conversation ceased after that and in the back of my mind, it bugged me. Justin obviously knew JC better than I did. Did Justin have something else to say or was he mulling over what I suggested? Did he think after Emmanuelle, I'd still be waiting? I can't call it.
Now my suggestion to Justin, I know it sounds like a bad idea. It's not though, think about it. I'm doing my best to eliminate Justin out of the equation. Because when he's not there, it's a straight shot to JC. I'm not implying Justin is in the way of JC and I, but we keep putting him there for whatever reason, and it's not right. If Justin and I can put our feelings to rest, then maybe at least one part of this fiasco can be fixed.
The bus came to a slow stop, and I stood up to stretch a little before following Justin out of the room. As we piled off the bus and into the arena, I felt my child-like instincts flaring up at the sight of the inflatables and the dunk tank. Oh. My. God.
"This is so awesome," Chris said. I giggled, his face looked exactly like mine. For the love of....he's 30!
"Hey Zee, think you'll let me drown you in one of these tanks?" Justin asked.
"Hey fuck-pot, realize that you have to go in the tank, not me. I can and will cheat," I warned.
"What in the hell is a fuck-pot?" Joey asked as JC chuckled softly.
"Justin," I replied.
"Screw you guys, I'm gonna go jump on one of these inflatable things," Justin said.
"Me, too!" Chris exclaimed.
"You're 30!" I yelled after them as I ran to do the same. I didn't think the others would follow us and be stupid, but JC was right my behind me with Joey and Lance on his tail. Let's just say we were doing a practice test, you know in case any loch-ness inflatables were lurking. Simply a precautionary step.
After playing around, I went to go find a water fountain. I was getting old, I didn't have that 16-year old stamina anymore. I skipped down the hall, seeing my destination coming up.
"I think I pulled a muscle," I heard behind me.
I smiled, shaking my head after drinking some water. "You and me both, Jace."
"I'm gonna be sore tomorrow for the game, I know it," JC said, bending down to take a sip of water.
"What a shame, you haven't even started yet and you're all beat," I laughed.
"I'm gonna take a nice hot bath after all this is over," JC said. My mind couldn't help but picture his naked body soaking in the jacuzzi tub, hair wet and dripping. Rooming was gonna be hard. "Come on I'll race you."
"Sure you wanna do that, Gramps?" I teased, dashing off.
"Gramps?! You're dead!" JC yelled after me.
Let the games begin.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Short and sweet.
Story Tags: friendsturnedlovers outdoorsex tour soloj triangles celebritysync jc justin friendswithbenefits
