Chapter 10: A Complicated Love

It was early and there was a ton of things to do before the club opened up, Justin was still really tired but was pretty sure that he wasn’t seeing things.  He watched for a minute just to make sure before he approached, after all JC had confronted Chris when he thought that something was wrong with the way Chris had been acting.

“What are you doing?” Justin asked.  JC turned to him suddenly and tried to pretend like he had been working the whole time and had no clue what he was talking about.  “I saw you staring at her ass.  Are you nuts?  I know we said that we needed her on our side but do you realize dangerous this little crush of yours is?  Nothing can happen between you two.  If Jade finds out either she will fire Lexi and we will have to start all over, or she will use your feelings for her against both of you.”  He forcefully explained.

“Calm down, no one saw me, but you apparently.  I am a guy is there really any harm in looking, aren’t we supposed to be pigs?” JC asked.  JC was trying to hide the fact that it might be more than just a little crush, he wasn’t sure about his feelings anymore and he knew the risks.  If he and Lexi did develop something it would never last, then one or both of them would get their hearts broken for sure. 

“What did you do?” Justin asked, as much as JC liked to think he had everyone fooled, his emotions were written all over his face.  JC ignored the question for a moment as he watched Lexi climb down the latter, her chest bouncing slightly in her tight black tank top.

“I kissed her.” JC stated without making eye contact with his friend.

“What?”  Justin groaned.  Out of all the years he had known JC and all the failed relationships JC had, this was by far the worst situation JC had been in.  “You have got to be kidding me, please tell me you were working on your technique or something.”

            “No but that is a good excuse, I may use that if Jade ever finds out.  It was a few nights ago, she was upset.  I thought that she was going to quit.  It just sort of happened.  It’s not like I haven’t kissed a hundred women this week alone.”  JC explained trying to blow it off.

“But this is different and you know it.  No one made you do it; you did it on your own.  You maybe even wanted to do it.  It’s Lexi; she can’t afford you or your favors.  You did it for free, and Jade hates to give away free stuff.” Justin said following JC’s gaze.  He would be lying if he said that Lexi wasn’t an attractive woman.  This was a different world now, attraction wasn’t important for a guy any more.  With the system in place it didn’t matter if a guy was attracted to a woman or not, with a push of a button she could do whatever she wanted.

It didn’t feel right to think of love that way, but it was their reality.  JC could get them all in so much trouble.  And what if the kiss changed Lexi?  She had access to the controls, if she were an evil person she could do something very bad or if she didn’t share his feeling she could get him in so much trouble.  Justin groaned and put his hand on his face.  There was no point in talking about it now, with so many people around.

“You can’t do that again and I hope that she understood when you talked about it.  But if you are going to stalk her be a little less obvious.” Justin said then started to walk off.

“Oh her and I haven’t talked about it since is happened.  I don’t know what to say to her.  It’s a little awkward.  I have been acting like it didn’t happen.” JC explained which brought Justin to a halt. 

“You are an idiot; you have to talk to her now otherwise she is going to think that it was a mistake.  You’re going to hurt her feelings then we are all screwed.  I can think of a million ways that this ends badly, most of which involve you not talking to her about it.  Girls read a lot into that you know, just ask Lance.  You talk to her tonight.  Let her know that it wasn’t a mistake but it can’t happen again.  I hope she will understand.”  Justin said then darted off before JC could say anything else, as much as Justin wanted to stay out of it, they were all in this together, whether they liked it or not.

JC cursed Justin in his head for being right, he did need to talk to Lexi about it.  He had already noticed that she seemed a little unsure around him and maybe even angry with him.  The truth was that kiss had been the best few second of his life since he had gotten there.  His world had stopped in that moment, and maybe it was Stockholm Syndrome talking, but he was falling in love with her a little every day.

            The challenge was going to be finding the right words to say to tell her how he feels without upsetting her or her thinking that they could ever have a real relationship.  JC left to track down Joey, the only man in the group to have a successful relationship.

After explaining to Joey what happened with Lexi and what Justin had said, the two of the sat alone in their room pretending that they were getting ready so that Jade and Lexi would both leave them alone so they could talk.  Joey started off by talking about his wife, whom he referred to as just that even though they hadn’t seen each other in months. 

“You barely know this girl, what makes her so special?” Joey asked, playing with the gold band that used to be his wedding ring. He had managed to hang on to it though he didn’t wear it any more for fear getting it taken away.  JC just shrugged, there was just something about her and he couldn’t put his finger on it. “I would just tell her that you really like her and though the kiss wasn’t a mistake you would like to slow down and get to know her better.  Lexi seems like a smart girl, she should be able to respect and understand that.”

“I guess I did come to the right guy.  If you don’t mind me asking though, what happened with Kelly?  Where is she?  And why aren’t you with her?” JC asked.  Joey’s eyes went to the ring in his hand.

“In times of war if you aren’t with the majority, then you’re against them.  Kelly tried to protect me and refused to do what they wanted her to do.  They punished her for it; she lost possession of me on a technicality.  Every society has some corruption and this system is flawed.” Joey explained.  He slipped the ring back into his hiding place and then started to get ready; after all they had to make it look like they were doing something in there besides just talking.  It was clear that Joey didn’t think much of the new government but there wasn’t much that they could do.

            “Thanks, for talking to me about this.  You are a good friend.” JC sighed. 

            “That is what friends are for; we don’t have too many people that we can trust any more.  Though I do like Lexi, I have my doubts about her.  It’s nothing personal; it’s just how things are now.  As much as I would like to see you happily married with kids of your own someday, I think those days are over.  Why would any woman marry a guy and give him rights when she can just own him?” Joey explained.

            “She would if she really loved him.”  JC responded as he nervously chewed on his finger nail, glancing at Joey with hopeful eyes.  He had to believe that there was still love in the world, if there wasn’t then what was the point?  “I’ll track Lexi down at the end of the night and talk to her, provided nothing goes horribly wrong tonight with the performance.” 

            As luck would have it the performance went well, it wasn’t the greatest ‘N Sync performance ever but it was okay, all things considered.  It was also wasn’t shocking that Jade announced her intention of having the show every weekend with the guys performing solo during the week. 

Lexi had caught JC starring at her a few times during the night so she wasn’t surprised when he followed her into the hall way as she was leaving.  She heard the door click as he closed it behind him.  He looked up to see her standing there with her arms folded across her chest, just waiting for him to explain why he was following her.  Yeah she was a little confused and upset with him right now.

“Can I talk to you for a second about what happened last weekend?” JC begged.  He glanced around nervously and leaned against the door for support.

“I guess so, but before you say anything, I just want to say that I get that you are scared and confused right now.  You’re in a really weird place.  I get it, I really do.  I don’t completely understand why you would think it was okay to just kiss me, but I am more hurt that you have been ignoring me the past you days.  I know we can’t date or anything but if we can’t be friends either then why am I still here?” Lexi quickly explained which completely threw off JC’s train of thought.  He closed his eyes and tried to quickly process what she had just said.

“I am confused but it doesn’t make it right.  I shouldn’t have kissed you like that and I most certainly shouldn’t have ignored you.  I kind of freaked myself out.  This is my fault.  I really do like you and I want to get to know you better, as a friend of course, I am just not in a position to give you any more than that.  Not that I don’t want more but we just can’t.” JC explained as he took her by the hand.  There was some pain in her eyes but she nodded any way.  She had expected him to say that, it didn’t however affect her hidden agenda.

“I understand JC, I really do.  I think you and I are going to be just fine.  It’s not that I wouldn’t be with you either, I just can’t afford you and this job… it sucks but it’s important for you guys that I keep it.  So I will.” Lexi said then kissed him on the forehead.  It was the best that she could do.  She had thought about it a lot and this was what was best for them both.  They couldn’t be together for now but they could be great friends.  Lexi was secretly hoping that this system wouldn’t last and JC would become a free man again, at that point he might give her a chance.  That was all that she wanted, just a chance.

She smiled at JC as he slipped back into his room.  It had after all been a long night and they all needed some rest so that they could do it all again tomorrow.  She changed her smile when his was out of sight; it was a sly hopeful grin.  Yes she had a plan.  It wasn’t a bad thing but she now knew that JC did have feelings for her, no man would have brought up his feelings if he didn’t care.  He could have just continued to ignore her but he didn’t.

With all of her thinking lately Lexi had decided that her former friend was doing better because she always had a plan, although sometimes they were stupid plans, but plans none the less.  Isadora wouldn’t have waited about for JC to make the first move; she would have put herself out there and made him notice her.  Lexi could be JC’s friend, his really cute and fun friend.  Some day he would come around.