Chapter 9: Wonderland

            The guys were hard at work trying to get ready to perform as a group.  Usually it would take months to prepare for a show like the one Jade was trying to put together, but they didn’t have months, just days.  When they weren’t working the club, they were working on their routines. 

            Lexi was trying to talk some sense into Jade but it was like they weren’t even speaking the same langue half of the time, Jade just had dollar signs in her eyes and couldn’t see past that.  The suborn business woman was missing the big picture; the guys were worthless if they were dead and no one would pay to see zombies perform.  When Lexi couldn’t get through to her, she lied to her instead.  She would tell her that the guys were working very hard and couldn’t be disturbed when in reality they were trying to sleep.

            Then there was the kiss.  It was in the back of her mind the whole time.  His soft lips pressed against hers, even for those few short moments, just the thought of it was enough to take her breath away all over again.  But just as quickly as it had happened; it seemed to have been forgotten.  JC was acting as if nothing was wrong, like nothing had happened.  It wasn’t like she expected him to ask her out on a date or something.  He could at least acknowledge that he did kiss her.

There was a feeling of loneliness that followed.  Lexi had left everything and everyone behind to move to California, she had wanted a change but it was times like this that she did miss her friends and family.  Now the one person here that she wanted to talk to, she couldn’t really.  It wasn’t like her and the guys were actually friends.  Even if they were what advice could they give her, they were basically slaves.  She didn’t expect them to understand what she was going through when they were going through something so much worse.  Why would they feel sorry for her?

“I know that I am new here but you sure look like you could use a friend.” Lance offered, as if he had read her mind.  She glanced over at him and smiled sweetly, it was after all a nice gesture.  “You know, you work almost as much as we do.  I get why we do it but what is your excuse?” He added.

“I wish I had one.  Truth is I just moved here after the war, I don’t know many people.  Plus I don’t get paid a lot per hour so I have to get as much over time as I can, so that I can pay my rent.”  As she spoke she looked at the floor, it was a sad existence.  You would think working with celebrities would be glamorous and pay better. “Shouldn’t you be resting?”

“I can’t sleep; this place kind of gives me the creeps, I can’t get comfortable.” Lance explained.

“It never will be comfortable but eventually exhaustion will set in and you won’t care how uncomfortable it is.”  Lexi explained.  She really wished that it wasn’t the truth but it was, so why sugar coat it.  “I had a friend once, a good friend but her and I live in completely different worlds now.” She added as she got down off the bar stool.  She was about to head out for the night, the guys needed to rest and there wasn’t much more they could do tonight.

“How is that possible?” Lance asked a little intrigued. 

“I live in the real world; she lives in wonderland, with big houses and fancy cars.”  Lexi explained.

“A fairy tale world would be really nice if you ask me.  If her world is so much better, then why are you here, instead of where ever she is?” Lance sighed.  Lexi groaned she wasn’t trying to be so depressing, but Lance seems interested in the story.  Through it wasn’t really a very good bedtime story she humored him.

“It really is a wonderful place, but she built it for herself, based on her needs and desires.  It made me realize that we were two completely different people.  I wanted to see what I was capable of creating on my own.  Clearly I should have stayed in wonderland with her, where putting a waterfall in your house made perfect sense.  Aside from getting to meet you guys; I haven’t really done a whole lot.  I’ll tell you about fairy tale land sometime; I am sure you have been there once upon a time.  You really need to try to get some sleep, who knows maybe you will dream of a better place.” Lexi said taking the man by the hand and leading him back to their room.  Lexi couldn’t tell if the guys were really asleep or just faking it as she tucked Lance into bed. 

“That feels like a lifetime ago, when I used to spend money foolishly and do whatever I wanted.  Your friend was she nice?” Lance asked letting out a little yawn.  Lexi just nodded, she had been a great friend.  “When what happened, why don’t you talk to her anymore?  It can’t be healthily for you to just hang out with a bunch of guys all the time.  Don’t you need some girl talk?”

“Well that is what I have you for now.” Lexi teased.

“Hey, I am gay not a girl.  It’s completely different.  Don’t get me wrong we can talk about hot guys and stuff but that is where I draw the line.”  Lance joked back.  The guys had talked and they had explained to him and Joey how important Lexi was to them.  Their plan to bring her close to them was a good one after all, but it was clear to Lance that there was more to this girl.

“Speaking of that, you know that Jade is going to make you do things that you may not be comfortable with.” Her tone was serious as she spoke.

“I know.   It’s not that I am okay with it but it wouldn’t be the first time that I have had to lie about my sexual preference.  But I do prefer guys.  No offense to you or anything.  You are very pretty, it’s just not who I am.” Lance explained, after all it had been explained to him in the reform camp, being bi-sexual was okay if his master allowed it but he couldn’t just be gay any more, as unfair as that sounded, he had to at least pretend to like both sexes if it pleased whoever bought him. 

“I am not offended, I completely understand, I prefer guys myself.” Lexi said with a smiled, after all she wanted to leave on a good note.  “All joking aside, if you need anything just let me know, I can’t promise much but I can promise that I will try.”  Lance just smiled and her and settled into his bed.  He had gathered as much from the others, but it was nice of her to confirm it. 

Tomorrow ‘N Sync would take the stage together for the first time in years, but instead of being happy about it like any fan would, Lexi was terrified.  If it went well it would mean that they would have to do it over and over again, if it went bad Jade would hurt them and then still make them do it again.  Their schedule was becoming impossible to keep up with.  It didn’t help that they were starting to catch colds, probably from making out with all those drunk women during the parties.  There had to be some serious health risks involved in what they were doing.

Lexi laid there in her recliner, which was as far as she had been able to make it after she got home.  Her thoughts were racing; none of it was really making sense.  That was when something caught her eye; it was an old photo sitting on her book shelf.  Lexi titled her head to the side and sighed.

“What would Isadora do?”  Lexi asked herself thinking back to the conversation she had with Lance.  Isadora had been fearless, even before she made her millions.  She had a knack for thinking out side of the box, which would be why she had made millions.  “I will tell you what you would have done; you would have kissed JC back instead of standing there like an idiot.”

Lexi had found her way to the book shelf and now had the picture in her hand.  It had been their High School graduation.  They were both smiling and having the time of their lives.  It was just before Isadora and told Lexi for the first time ever that she was scared, for the first time in their lives there were no rules to follow and no agenda for them.  What happened after that was simple.  Isadora went on to find that rules and other people’s agendas didn’t work for her, if anything they held her back.  Lexi was still working on that.  She still felt like she had to live up to someone else’s expectations, which at the moment that someone was Jade.

There were days that she would love it if she had it in her to tell Jade off and do her own thing.  She laughed when she thought about it; if she had the guys it would be different.  They would all be rich.  When you give everything away like Jade does, it loses value.  ‘N Sync should he playing at sold out arenas not a night club.  And they should be treated like gods, not salves.

“You know what; I think you may be on to something Isa.  It’s time to start thinking outside the box.  It’s time for my own agenda.” Lexi said with a grin and then head to bed.  Maybe she did need to start standing up for herself and speaking her mind.