Chapter 12

The concert that night was great. I hadn’t seen the group perform together since the VMA’s in September so I was really psyched and had a lot of fun. Justin took major precautions to make sure that our seats were nowhere near Britney’s so I didn’t have to trip over her behavior during the concert and could relax and enjoy myself. And an added plus was that Bobbee sat wherever Brit was so I didn’t have to look at her ugly mug either. To add to the fun, my girls and I got wasted off of beer backstage before the show in the good ol’ Game Room and weren’t feeling any pain, so we stood up during the show, screaming the songs and I love you’s to all the members of the group, especially Chris.

Big fun, for real. But it was hilarious.

After the concert, we went back to the hotel to change for another party that Johnny was throwing at a club that opened up onto the beach. It was closed to everyone except people affiliated with Wright Entertainment Group so we could all act the fool if we wanted to. So of course, we did. But it was all in good fun.

I had just finished getting dressed in a cute halter top and shorts when Justin finished showering and came over to the chair I was sitting in, staring into space.

“You okay, baby?” he bent down and kissed me on the forehead, smelling deliciously of his aftershave lotion. Yes, he was young but he still shaved, people!

I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. Just thinking things over. It’s been a crazy day and I guess I’m still buzzing from all the beers I had earlier.

He sat down on the edge of the chair and rubbed my arm. “I thought we settled everything earlier … you know, when I called Brit and told her to back the fuck off. Didn’t that make you happy?

I shrugged again. “A phone call doesn’t just magically make everything go away, Justin. The hurt is still there. I can’t stop picturing the two of you –” I stopped suddenly and squeezed my eyes shut, then shook my head vigorously. “No! I’m not letting her ruin this trip for me. That’s exactly what she wants.”

He nodded in agreement. “Probably … if she saw us not getting along, it’d be like she won or something and she hasn’t, baby.” He stroked my hair, which was loose and curly, flowing down my back. “And even if you dumped me right this very second, I wouldn’t go back to her, ever.

I looked at him quizzically. “Why not? She was good enough for you before, wasn’t she?” It wasn’t like she was ugly; even I couldn’t go that far.

He sighed heavily. “ Look, Tara, I used her that night, okay? It was stupid and wrong and I’m ashamed of it but I did it anyway. It wasn’t any big love match or anything. She just acted liked she cared about me and wanted to talk and I was all fucked up … and I guess you can take it from there. All I can do is apologize --- you already know how much I regret it.”

“Do you honestly? I asked him one last time, staring deeply into his eyes.

He answered emphatically, “Yes! If I could go back to that night, fuck it, if I could go back to that Halloween party and change things I’d do it in a fucking second! Baby,” he took both of my hands in his and held them tightly, “I need you so much and I know I keep fucking up but I promise you with my entire heart that I’ll act like I’ve got some fucking sense this time. I swear it, okay? Just promise me one last chance, T. One more time.”

I stared into those blue eyes I loved so much. “They say the third time’s the charm, right?” I answered faintly, smiling at him while he beamed an enormous smile back down at me. Then, with a wink, he was off to change for the party, yelling, “You’ll see, you won’t be sorry!” over his shoulder.

I should’ve felt more comfortable, especially after the phone call. See, after Justin and I sort of made up and I moved back into his suite, he immediately call
Britney and told her that what happened between them was a mistake – and he made sure to mention that he already told her that a million times before – and to please respect him and me by leaving us alone. I don’t think she took it so well, but when she saw the looks that Sasha, Jen and I were giving her backstage, she made sure to be where ever we weren’t for the rest of the party. In fact, when we arrived at the party, she and Bobbee scurried away to the opposite side, as far away from us as she could get, which was fine with me. I know they were whispering about me and Justin or whatever, but as long as they stayed out of my hair I didn’t give a shit, you know.

So yeah. After showering and coming out in some cargo shorts and t-shirt Justin and I hit the club got our drink on. We hit the dance floor right away, swaying to the beat and looking into each other’s eyes, singing to each other. We heard “Get a room!" more times than I can count but we didn’t care. Not at first, at least.

It was weird, thinking about her being in his arms, his lips being on her skin … it made me almost want to push him away sometimes. But the he’d be my Justin again and all was okay in the world. The moments kept coming and going until the straw that broke the camel’s back came out. The DJ started playing “Hit Me Baby One More Time” and I just stopped. Right in the middle of dance floor,

“T … what’s up?” A flushed Justin asked me, concern in his eyes.

I just shook my head at him and said, “I need a break,” and rushed off the dance floor. He followed me over to the bar where I ordered a mudslide and patiently waited for my order.

“You hot? Tired?”

I shook my head for like the fiftieth time. “I think I just need some time alone, Justin. I just want to chill for a minute, you know? You go dance. I’ll stay here.” Right then I wanted him away from me so I could collect my thoughts but I didn’t want to be rude about it. “Besides, I haven’t seen my girls all night … why don’t you go mingle or something?”

He knew right away what I was thinking about. “Tara, stop. You said you weren’t gonna let her ruin our night, remember?”

“And I’m not,” I replied. “I’m just cooling off and seeing what my friends are up to, that’s all. It’s no big deal, okay?” I lied. I knew he couldn’t tell if I was lying or not but he gave me a kiss and disappeared into the crowd, thankfully. I scoured the crowd and saw Jen talking to Mike, who had cornered her over by the end of the bar. I waved for her to come over and she gratefully did so, heaving a sigh of relief.

“I thought I was never gonna get away from him!” she exclaimed and ordered a drink. “I love Mike, he means well, but shit! He won’t leave me alone!”

I smiled at her frustration. Jen was so nice she just wouldn’t give Mike the big brush-off no matter how annoying he was. She’s so sweet. “Well, I saved you. Now save me, okay?”

“From what?” she inquired, taking my drink from me and sipping on it.

I gestured with my hand. “All of this … the song, the bitch who started this shit … everything in general, I guess. Jen, what am I going to do? I can’t even dance with Justin without thinking about them together. Every time he touches her I think about him touching her and it makes me sick. I don’t know if I can do this,” I answered truthfully. “I know we said I shouldn’t let her think there’re any problems between me and him but I can’t pretend, I just can’t,” I said, on the verge of tears. Determined not to cry, I took my drink back from her and swallowed the rest of it in one huge gulp.

“Aww sweetie,” she gave me a big hug. “Things are going to get better. You both love each other, despite what I think about what he did. I hate him for hurting you but I hate to say this … you were on a break. You know?” She answered.

If I heard that phrase one more time … “Yes, I know that!” I snapped and immediately regretted it. Sorry, Jen. I just mean, like, why did it have to be her. Why not some anonymous groupie? I’d rather have it be someone I wouldn’t have to be around and put up with anymore, you know? I see her everywhere and I have to restrain myself from physically attacking her!”

“Speaking of physically attacking people, “Sasha popped in between the two of us, you might want to take a look over there. She pointed to another part of the club, outside where the sand and water where. Guess who was there?

Justin.

And Britney.

Talking.

I wasn’t even mad or sad anymore at that point. No seeing red, no tears, no nothing. I was just done with it all. Tired of all the promises that were always broken, tired of all the lies that had been told. Just plain tired.

“So how are we gonna do this? Should I go for Justin and you go for her, or what?” Sasha asked eagerly. “If we kick him in the balls, he’ll be down for the count then the three of us can jump her. Sound good?” She was already taking her earrings off, crazy person that she is. Jen just shook her head, staring me with concern.

I shook my head. “Fuck this,” I said. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Back to the hotel? You mean ambush him there?” Sasha was still on a butt-kicking trip.

“Nope,” I replied. “Back to the hotel to pack. We’re getting on the first flight out of Hawaii and going … somewhere. We’ll pick someplace crazy and go there for New Year’s Eve. C’mon.” And leading the way, we got the hell away from Justin, Britney and that whole crazy world.

From now on I was putting myself first and that meant not dealing bold-faced liars anymore, i.e. my former boyfriend.

“But where?” Jen tripped along beside me, totally confused.

I shrugged, as was becoming my usual habit lately. “Who knows? Someplace fun where we can act like asses and let our hair down. Somewhere where we know he won’t be.”

Sasha smiled mysteriously. “I know just the place,” she said as we stepped outside and the valet got a taxi for us. “We’re gonna have a fucking rocking New Year’s Eve where we can have a ball and piss Timberfuck the fuck off, too.”

Good, as far as I was concerned.