Chapter 5
  
 

The next few days passed uneventfully – that is, uneventfully for being with someone like Justin. True to his word, we started packing things up here and there in my parents’ room, something that was really hard for me. Having him with me took the edge off because he kept me so busy by asking questions about everything under the sun that I almost forgot to mope.
 
 

We also spent time at Aurora’s house where she gave him a massage and told him she cold smell the alcohol in his system and it had to have been enough to kill a horse. I think they both really liked each other, not that it helped with Jen. She was still nice to Justin but wary, and under the circumstances who could blame her? But Jen also came over and helped with the moving which made things a lot easier since she knew where just about everything went. Mike came and did alot but you know him – he had places to go and people to see so he wasn’t around too much. Movers came to move the beds around and the Salvation Army came to take my parents clothing and things away that I didn't want anymore. I kept most of Mommy’s clothes because she had great taste but I didn’t know what to do with Dad’s stuff. All the activity sort of gave us time to put off having ‘the talk’ but I knew it would probably come up soon, if not that night then definitely the next.
 
 

On the end of the second day I ordered a ton of pizzas and we got beer and liquor and me, Jen and Justin sat around talking all night long. It would be the first night we slept in my parent’s room – or rather, my room, now – and Justin asked me if I would be okay with it. I thought it over while I drank more of my mudslide.
 
 

I shrugged. “I think so,” I answered, swallowing. “I’m not nervous or having nightmares about it. It’s almost like it’s just another room now, you know?”
 
 

Jen gave me a skeptical look. “Just another room? T, don’t try to bullshit me, okay?”
 
 

A-ha! “See, Justin! See?”
 
 

He looked at me like I was crazy. “See what?”
 
 

“She called me T! I told you other people call me that besides you.” I explained to Jen what happened with Dave the other day and she laughed.
 
 

“Sorry, Justin. It’s been her nickname since … well, since forever. We don’t use them anymore but we have a bunch of nicknames for each other and yeah we do call her T, all of us from the guys to even some people we went to school with.”
 
 

He frowned. “The guys,” he muttered with and evil expression on his face.
 
 

Jen grabbed another slice of pizza. “What’s wrong with the guys? What did they do to you?”
 
 

I mouthed jealous to her and Justin saw me and threw a pepperoni slice at me. "If you saw me hanging out watching weekly television shows with Britney all the time you’d be pissed too, T. Something about him just rubs me the wrong way, I’m telling you. I bet he was the first to jump on the bandwagon to tell you to never speak to me again, wasn’t he?”
 
 

Well. What could I say there? Dave ranted almost as bad as Justin did about staying away from him so I couldn’t lie. So I just sort of sat there and Jen answered for me.
 
 

“Dave’s a friend, there’s nothing going on romantically with him. Eww!” she shuddered and I knew how she felt. Don’t get me wrong, our guy friend were all really cute and had tons to offer a girl but after knowing them for so long you just see them as them, not some hot guy. Dave might as well have been JJ for all the romantic feelings I had for him. But Jen wasn’t done. “You really did him dirty the other night though, Tara. I talked to him today and he was furious with you.”
 
 

I was shocked. “What? Why? What’d I do?
 
 

Justin felt differently about the subject. “Who gives a damn? Let him stay mad and stay away and—“
 
 

“Shut up, Justin,” I told him, wanting to get to the bottom of this. "What’s he mad at me for? I didn’t do anything to him; I haven’t even seen him since he came by that one day.”
 
 

She nodded. “He said you acted really funny and practically kicked him out of the house. I think he was upset that Justin was back or something … he said you were all wrapped up around each other and you barely paid attention to him.”
 
 

“As it should be,” Justin tossed in and I kicked him to shut him up.
 
 

“Jen, Dave is full of shit. He knew Justin was coming, I told him so, and he came by anyway. Justin had just gotten there and we were in the middle of this big talk when Dave let himself in and sort of interrupted us. I’m not dissing him as a friend but he knew Justin was coming. Sometimes I think he does this stuff on purpose,” I ranted, angry a how tried to flip the situation to make himself seem like the put upon, poor suitor.
 
 

“He didn’t mention that,” Jen said, shaking her head. “I wish he would just let you go.”
 
 

Justin perked up. “Let her go? What do you mean?”
 
 

I wanted to hit Jen over the head with a Coke can when she said that. The last thing I wanted was Justin thinking Dave was still trying to lay his mack down whenever he could and she went and blew it for me. That’s the problem when you have a friend who isn’t a big liar. Sasha would’ve lied until the cows came home but Jen always puts it right out there and unless you make her swear on a Bible or something and even then she hates lying. So of course she told Justin about how Dave still considers us to be the perfect couple and wants me back and worked on it constantly.
 
 

Thanks a lot, Jen.
 
 

But instead of turning purple and ranting, Justin just shook his head in that ‘I told you so’ way that everyone on earth hates. “Well … sucks for him, don’t it,” he said with a big grin. “’Cause girlie right here is mine, all mine. He can forget it.
 
 

“You mean to tell me you worked out all your problems in two days?” Jen asked, making lots of sense. “Impossible. No way.”
 
 

I sighed. “No, not everything but we talked about important stuff and we both think we can do this. Right, J?”
 
 

“We know we can do it,” he said over a mouthful of pizza. ‘I’m going to try to be more considerate and not act like a Neanderthal, Jen, I promise.”
 
 

She laughed, a good sign. She was warming back up to him. “Did Tara call you a Neanderthal?”
 
 

“How’d you know?”
 
 

“She uses that word when it comes to you a lot,” she joked, and he tossed a throw pillow at her head.
 
 

All in all it was a fun night. I missed Sasha but thought maybe it was better that she wasn’t there to be evil and argue. She’d been spending a ton of time at the dance studio so I’d only spoken other sporadically instead of fifteen times a day like I used to.
 
 

Justin, as expected, hated the idea of the studio simply because I’d committed time to it and it would take away from my time with him. When Jen left he brought that back up as we filled the garbage can with pizza crusts, beer bottles, wine coolers and some vodka
 
 

“I still don’t see why you’re working for her,” he complained. “It’s not even like you’re gonna get paid, you’re just gonna get bossed around by her all the fucking time like always.
 
 

I shook my head and sighed. It was getting too late for all this bullshit. “Because I want to do something, J, not just follow you around constantly.”
 
 

“What’s wrong with doing that? You love being with me, don’t you?”
 
 

And I consoled yet again. “You know I do! I just think it’s something fun to do that I’ve loved doing since I was a kid. And I’m not one of her teachers; I’m just helping Sash so I can come and go as I please.” Finished cleaning, I let him take the trash outside while I turned everything off in the family room. I assumed we’d go upstairs but he had a different idea in mind.
 
 

“T … I need to talk to you,” he said seriously and right away I got serious, too. He never looked like that.
 
 

Sitting down on the couch, I waited for some horrible ball to drop. Justin paced back and forth while I waited.
 
 

And waited.
 
 

And waited.
 
 

“Justin?”
 
 

“Hmm?”
 
 

“I’m waiting here, you gonna tell me or…?” I was nervous myself from the way he was behaving. Shit or get off the pot, as my mom used to say. “Get it over with, sweetie, I’m tired.”
 
 

He came and knelt down beside me – not in that marriage style way, thank God or I would’ve died – and stared at me, still serious. It reminded me of when he told me I was pregnant and I had an awful flashback. “Justin, I’m not pregnant so what could be wrong?”
 
 

“You love me right?”
 
 

I sighed. “Yes. Now what?”
 
 

“You know I would never do anything to try and hurt your feelings too, don’t you?”
 
 

I didn’t even both answering, I just glared. Then I said it one last time. “If you don’t tell me whatever’s bothering you, I’m going upstairs right now!” That should get him moving.
 
 

He sighed, rubbed his nose, shifted his eyes around and I was getting really worried until finally he blurted out, “Umm … I have something to tell you.”
 
 

Duh.
 
 

“You’re probably not gonna like it … umm … I mean … How much money do you have? Like, for the rest of your life? Your trust?”
 
 

That was the huge thing? That was what he was pacing around about? I heaved a sigh of relief. “I don’t know exact figures but it’s a lot,” I said honestly. “I’m no millionaire but I’m pretty much set for what I need to maintain my lifestyle. Sasha’s dad takes care of that stuff with my accountant for me.” Then I thought about it. “Why, do you need some? I can loan you some if—“
 
 

“No, no,” he cut me off. “I just … I’ve been worried about you so much the past few weeks and I wanted to make sure you’re financially secure. Like when you travel with me you need money and that kind of shit so I was thinking you should get like a per diem for stuff like that. Like, money.” But the way he said it sounded about as phony as me pretending to like video games.
 
 

First of all he knew I would never take his money and second of all that didn’t flow with how worried he looked and I told him so but he insisted it was only the money that he was worried about. He was looking ahead to the tour when I’d (in his eyes) be traveling with him everyday. I guess Bobbee and others got so much money per day, a per diem, to have funds and he wanted me to have it too.
 
 

No freaking way, I wanted to say, but instead I told him we’d talk about it when we went to bed.
 
 

When we were in bed I brought up Dave. “You know, Justin, I think you’re right about him.” He practically got out of bed and did a victory lap.
 
 

“Why? What made you change your mind?” he pulled me closer so that my head lay on his chest.
 
 

I shrugged as usual. “He knew you were coming and I think he came by to aggravate the situation today. Just didn’t make any sense, him coming by and not knocking. He does come by, I mean, we spent every Wednesday watching 90210 together” Justin grumbled to himself at that “but he doesn’t come by after that. I think he was trying to stake some claim. You guys are insane, “I finished, shaking my head.
 
 

“Told you. Didn’t I tell you? I knew that’s what his plan was? Wasn’t he the perfect person to call and cry on his shoulder? Right, T? I can call you T again since Jen said everyone else does,” he informed me so kindly. Like I was going to thank him or something.
 
 

“You were right and I was wrong,” I admitted, grinding my teeth.
 
 

“Thanks,” he said brightly, all happy that I had to laugh at him.
 
 

“You’re so silly, Justin. I only love you, I wish you knew that.”
 
 

“Well I got another look at Dave and from what he was wearing I hope you got better taste than to go out with some dude dressing like that…” blah blah blah
 
 

He was right and I felt bad for coming down on him so hard before about Britney. Neither of us controls who liked us and found us attractive. The important thing is we were being faithful to one another. And we were, so things were perfect.
 
 

"Yeah, right.”