Chapter 9

I leaned over and pushed Justin so that he was lying on his back, and he folded his hands beneath his head, curious to see what I was up to. I had that look in my eye -- you know the one -- and it didn't take much for him to see where things were headed. Standing up, I moved to stand right in front of him with my hands fiddling with the button on my jeans.

"You know what I want you to do," I said in a soft voice. I was feeling bold and feeling in control, but I still wasn’t bold enough to shout out "Put your mouth on me!” ya know? So I slowly undid the button while he sat up and reached for my hips pulling me close to him, his mouth nuzzling just below my belly button.

"You want this, huh?" He licked and sucked delicately on the skin while his hands suddenly were pulling my zipper down more and more, with his mouth following.

"Mmm hmmm," I moaned, sinking my hands into his thick, unruly brown curls. "Make some music with your mouth on me, Randall," I said cornily, but loving every minute of it.

We hadn't really been intimate since he arrived, what with the sexual ban my doctor instituted after my procedure. However, that time had passed and neither of us had made the move towards intercourse for some reason -- it just didn't feel right yet. We did lots of playing around, touching and rubbing on one another, but this was the furthest we'd gone since he came and I knew he was as excited as I was. And believe me, I was ready to rip my clothes off and feast on some Timberlake right then and there.

So that’s exactly what I did.

Stepping back, I ripped my sweater over my head and was out of my jeans in seconds, while he followed suit, both of us sending shoes flying across the floor. Stark naked, I crawled onto the bed and lay back in his arms, kissing him softly and touching him all over his fit body. Our hands wandered over every crevice of one another, and when I finally took hold of him, he cursed out loud because it'd been so long since I’d touched his bare skin.

"Do you like that?" I whispered, still feeling a weird combination of bold and shy. I could do the acts, I just couldn't say them. "Does this feel good?" My hand moved up and down slowly, grazing the hot, angry skin of his penis and listened to him moan and groan some more. It made me feel good to know how good he felt. I wanted to make him feel even better so before he knew it, I maneuvered myself around until I was face to face with that part of him.

"T, baby, no," he said futilely, not even meaning it, and I ignored him anyway, taking him in my mouth and basically ... going to town. I still didn't have that much experience on how to do it right but I figured from the noises he made I wasn't too off base. He yelled and moaned and groaned, bucked his hips and twitched his body around until before I knew it, his mouth was on me at the same time that mine was on his. It felt so amazing that I almost dropped what I was doing; God knows I slowed down on my action immediately. I'd heard of sixty-nine and Dave had tried it before but I was never up for it but now ... this was a whole different experience. This was something like I'd never experienced before, giving and receiving pleasure all at once ... feeling him inside my mouth and experiencing their reactions while he was giving me the same pleasure ... it opened up a whole new world for me.

The room was silent except for an occasional moan and sigh from one of us until Justin’s persistent tongue really began to work on me in earnest, causing me to stop what I was doing completely. I just couldn't concentrate. I was too close ... I was so close...

"Mmmm ..." Justin moaned into me, setting sparks off in my head when he slipped a finger inside of me. That was all she wrote, and I was off, sailing into the sunshine full of pleasure and rainbows and all that other good stuff he made me feel. I pushed against him and he held onto me tight, making sure I didn't slip away from him until I’d ridden out my orgasm.

"Feel good, baby?" he asked from somewhere, God only knew. I was still floating in the clouds, high above the Earth.

"Yes, Randall," I said dreamily, and then remembered him and the state he must have been in. "C'mere," I reached for him again but he had moved his hips away from me when I wasn't paying attention. "Oh come on, Justin ... don't be like that again." I was so sick of the groupie association he had with oral sex. Sometimes I just wanted to do that to him; I loved him like he loved me and wanted to pleasure me. It wasn't fair.

But he had other plans. "No, I want you up here with me," he pulled me around and got me up to his chest. I reached over to the nightstand and handed him some tissues to wipe off his face with, then kissed him soundly. It had been a long time since I'd been intimate with him and experiencing it again made it even more special. But it still wasn't over.

Wrapping himself around me, he began kissing me with more fervor than I’d ever experienced from him before and his hips rubbed against me, almost like he was ready to have sex.

But I just wasn’t ready yet. It was too soon after what I’d gone through to have anything inside of me … I couldn’t explain it, I just knew it. So I moved my hips back some and carefully removed my lips from his. “Justin?” I asked tentatively.

“Baby … let’s talk later,” he whispered, trying to pull me back towards him to no avail. When he finally realized that I was resisting him, he opened his eyes halfway in this dead sexy way that made me want to give in right then and there. “What’s wrong?”

I closed my eyes, embarrassed at what I had to say after starting this whole thing. “I’m … I’m not as ready as I thought I was,” I whispered back. “I’m sorry, Justin, it just doesn’t feel right yet. Would you be mad if we didn’t do it, like, have sex that way?”

He sighed in slight frustration but kissed me softly. “No baby, I’m not mad. If you’re not ready then no way am I gonna push you. I just … I mean I’m in a state here …” he gestured downwards and I smiled.

“Is there anything I can do for you to take the pain away?” I asked, my hand going back down to stroke the length of him gently and he gasped.

“Yeah, just … keep doing that …” his hips started to move against my hand and I leaned over to gently bite and suck on his bottom lip, something that gets him every time. Pretty soon his hips were bucking and jerking and he reached his climax. I loved watching every second of it; his face tightens, his eyes squeeze shut and he bites down hard on his bottom lip. His entire body goes tense and then collapses in a limp heap.

But as much as I wanted to lay there with him, we needed to clean up a bit. I hopped off the bed and ran into the bathroom to wet a couple of hot wash cloths for us to clean up. I tossed him one and we cleaned up then lay back down, me snuggled up in his arms.

“Feel better, sweetie?” I asked him, referring to his tense standoff earlier with the fans. “Are you relaxed now?”

He shook his head. “I guess I overreacted a little but fuck! I don’t get any fucking privacy as it is, T, and I stopped and was nice to them, asked not to follow us around the mall and what do they do? They fucking follow us to your house! What the fuck, you know? I have some rights; I don’t care if I fucking screamed at them. They didn’t have any right to do that shit.”

While I agreed, I didn’t want to encourage him any. The more I’d hung around him, the more I noticed how scared he was becoming of his fans. I guess it came from being attacked and stuff, I would’ve been scared too. There was no security so he had to do the intimidating himself or they might’ve been all over him is what he was thinking, I knew.

“I can see why you got so upset,” I said slowly, “but I think you should leave the talking to Mike from now on, okay? Don’t go pulling that crap. It’s probably all over the Internet now along with my address,” I finished ruefully.

His body tensed again, this time not in a good way. “See? This is why sometimes I can’t stand our fans. It’s never enough!” he ranted, waving his arms around, almost knocking me in the face. “I sign autographs, pose for pictures chat them up for a bit, and it’s still not enough. They gotta follow me around and shit. I’m tired of it.” He was silent for a minute, and then he said, “Mike needs to be around because I can see this starting to become a real problem.”

“You told me that when you came here the first time to visit,” I reminded him, thinking of the time we’d gotten high on his porch and he showed me scratches on his arms from overzealous fans.

“I did?” he looked surprised.

“Yeah. You said it had gotten worse for you lately. Remember? Is it still getting worse?”

He shrugged. “It’s weird … JC and Chris were really popular in Europe. Joey was, too, but I think I’m getting up there in popularity lately too. They all handle it differently than me, though. No one even goes running up to Joey and physically attacks him, they just talk to him. Me, they come screaming at or whatever and I have to duck and hide. It doesn’t make any sense.”

I looked him over, my vulnerable golden boy. “You handle yourself differently than the rest of them. Chris and Joey are more outgoing; JC is sterner in a way that says hands off. Lance … I would guess he gets his fair share of being attacked too, right?”

“How’d you know that?”

“I’m psychic,” I joked with him, then got serious. “It’s all in how you carry yourself, I guess. Like with the New Kids—“

He groaned, “Here we go again with the New Kids.”

“No, seriously,” I argued. “Jordan was always attacked and so were Joe and Jonathan sometimes but no one ever attacked Donnie because he could control the fans. That’s what you have to learn to do.” I felt like I was giving a lecture on hot to be a boy band member, but it seemed like I was more educated in the protocol than my boyfriend, the actual boy band member, was. “You’ve gotta be real authoritative and yell at them if they get aggressive to get back, or you won’t stop for them. Then they’ll cry or something because they love you so much that your word is, like, law.”

He just looked at me for a long time like I was insane, then asked, “How much were you into the New Kids, T?”

Like I was some kind of freak or something. “I just happened to have watched a lot of video footage in the old days is all. I wasn’t actually there, stalking them if that’s what you’re asking,” I said, totally offended.

“You just seem to know a hell of a lot about this whole other world. Don’t become like those girls … I’ll introduce you to Donnie in a normal way one day. Johnny can arrange it.”

I almost jumped out of my skin. “Are you serious?! Would you do that for me? I promise I won’t act like a freak or anything,” I babbled on and on, my heart pounding at the thought of meeting my teen idol. “I’d be totally cool, not like those girls today at all.”

He kept looking at me strangely, like I was the biggest loser on Earth. Which I was acting like, of course. He pulled me to him and hugged me tightly, kissing the top of my head. “I’ve gotten involved with a stalker,” he murmured, which set us off into a wrestling fight that took us right back to the beginning of this chapter.

A great way to end it.