December 24, 2011

12 am

“Seriously, no, I never said that.  Turner and Hooch were not like the Odd Couple.  They were more like Beavis and Butthead.”

Trace, my cousin Rachael, and our other counterparts crack up over Jessica’s comment.

I’m the only one who isn’t laughing, despite the fact that my arm is draped around her shoulders like I’ve never been more in love.  Trace meets my gaze, and his smile fades.  He was only laughing to blend in.

In reality, he hates the fact that she’s here with our group, but he’s trying to be my best friend right now and respect my decision.  I’m grateful for that, but I know I’m gonna get an earful from him at some point.

I’m an idiot, a fucking pushover.  It happened exactly like I thought it would.  We got to the house, Trace spent ten minutes lecturing me on why I shouldn’t give Biel the time of day.  Then we went into the house, and were bombarded by our families.  My dad and I spent a few minutes catching up.  He’s the easy one.  The one that doesn’t pressure me about the shit that happens in my life.  I think I could have talked to him for the rest of the evening, but then my grandparents pulled me aside in an ‘oh my lord we never see you anymore, thank God it’s Christmas, when are you getting married’ spiel for about twenty five minutes.  Then my mother decided to lecture me on a few...business related items...

Okay so, I probably should have been paying attention.

But it’s not like anything crazy happened.

“You were scooped with some strange woman outside of a club.”  She sighed harshly and planted the tabloid article in my face.  “I should slap you, but it’s Christmas.  Who is she?”

I stared at Dara’s picture.  She was gazing at me with a sly smile on her face as we stood against that building together.  I admit, I looked like a fucking asshole with the hoodie and sunglasses.  I should have left them off.  I think it was more obvious who I was with them on.  “She’s just a friend.”r32;

“Oh.” She flashed me a displeased smile.  “They’re all just friends, baby.”

She knew me too well.  “It’s not a big deal, momma.”  I put on my best little boy face for her as I threw an arm over her shoulders.  “You know how the press is.”

“Maybe, but you have priorities.  I expect you to be a little more sensible at this stage of your life.  Sonya is pissed and so is Johnny.”

I kissed her cheek.  “Momma, come on.  So I had some fun?  You know how it is.”

She rolled her eyes at me, but kissed mine back.  “I hate that you’re so cute sometimes. If you weren’t my only child, I doubt I’d get over things so easily.”

“I’ll make it better.  You’re gonna freak out when you see what I got you for Christmas.”

She glared at me, but it didn’t last long.  “Don’t think you’re gettin’ off so easy, boy.  You’re gonna help me with the family party tomorrow night, you got it?”

I knew I’d get out of it.  The rest of the family would ensure that, and my mom would be too busy to notice that I’d snuck away to watch TV and drink beer with Trace and the other men who would be occupying the house.  Still, I flashed her my most promising grin, determined not to give her any idea about my plan.  “Absolutely.”

She swatted my shoulder.  “Brat.”
r32;

“Hey!” I held my arms out at my sides.  “What’d I do?”

“I know that look.”  She pointed an accusing finger at me.  “Just know that I’m going to be firm with you this weekend, baby.”

“All right,” I laughed, still not believing her.  “That’s fine, momma.”

She stroked my cheek lovingly after that.  “Besides business, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something else.”

I cocked my head to the side.  “What?”

“Are we okay?”r32;

I stared at her for a moment, not completely sure what she was getting at, but having a good idea what it was.  “I guess so.”

“Lately, I feel like we haven’t been able to talk like we used to.”

She was right, but at the same time she was my momma, the one woman in the world that I would do anything to keep from getting hurt.  “It’s just been busy back in LA, that’s all.”

“I know that’s not true.”

I sighed and leaned back against the counter, looking down at my feet for a few moments before finally mustering up the courage to look her in the eye and tell her the truth.  “I guess sometimes...I wish you would act more like my mother, that’s all.”

“You don’t think that I do?”

“Come on, momma,” I laughed.  “You know that we’ve been best buds my whole life.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothin...” I trailed off and stepped forward so I could place a reassuring hand on her shoulder.  “It’s just that...sometimes, I’d feel better if you didn’t try so hard to be my friend, that’s all.”

“This is about that party at Jason’s isn’t it?”

I rolled my eyes.  “That’s part of it.”

“I thought you liked being able to party with your momma,” she laughed.  “When did you suddenly become so mature, Justin?”

“I just...”

“So I won’t come to the parties anymore,” she snapped.  “If that’s what you want.”

“I’m not saying that.”

“You are.  You’d rather I just left you alone to do your thing.  That’s fine.  I can find other things to do.”

“Momma...”

“Just forget it.”  She stepped back from me and forced a smile.  “Why don’t you go on and hang out with Trace and the rest of them?”

I knew I’d upset her then.  It sucked...but at the same time, maybe it was what she needed to hear, even if it hurt her.  “You know that I love you, momma.”

“And I love you.”

She walked away, a hand covering her mouth.

I knew she was going to need some time with that, and I would give it to her.  As much as she needed.  I just hoped it wouldn’t effect the Christmas Day we were going to be sharing together.  

I was alone in the kitchen then, and immediately, I was drawn to the tabloid paper that my mother had placed down on my grandparents kitchen table.  I stared at Dara again, for the longest time, remembering what had happened between us, and how I really felt about it, about her.  Trace and I talked about it briefly once we escaped the motel in New Mexico, but we didn’t dwell on the subject.  Once I told him the truth about what went down between Dara and I, he seemed to get it right away, told me to ‘stay away from that trouble,’ like I knew he would.  I know he’s going to keep in touch with Eva of course.  It doesn’t surprise me, because they connected so well, and seem to like each other a lot.  It might work out for him.  He might escape his engagement curse after all, and that’s fine by me, because I’ve come to like that girl.  I think I could consider her a friend now.

But Dara...

I was afraid of her.  It was stupid and ridiculous but the more I stared at that picture of us, the more I realized that I wanted to see her again, talk to her again.  I wanted to spend some real, quality time with her, discover everything about her that I hadn’t found out yet.

I wanted to take her to dinner, and kiss her again, just us...in a regular setting, without the aid of the peanut gallery in the background.  Things would be different then, I could take my time with her, and that’s what she needed.  Something inside of me told me she was worth that too.

She was worth all of my time, and then some.

In that moment, I was ready to call Trace into the kitchen and beg him to get me in touch with her again.

But then...

“Hey J.”

I turned slightly, and our eyes met.  She was smiling gently, her cheeks flushed, because she probably felt like an idiot for saying all the things she said to me on the phone.  I felt my stomach turn.  I didn’t want to see her, but I was certain I wouldn’t be able to escape her with my family in the next room.  I put the paper down behind me quickly, and stepped in front of the spot so it would be hidden from view.  “Hey.”

“How was your trip?”

I smirked a little.  “Rejuvenating.”

She nodded slightly.  “Do you feel like talking?”

I didn’t say anything.  I knew what the answer was but...she looked amazing, and her smile was taking me over completely.  I couldn’t say no but I didn’t want to say yes either.  

“Justin,” she sighed harshly, before stepping up to me and taking one of my hands in hers.  “Babe, I’m sorry about everything.”

She’d done it one too many times with me in the past.  The situation was so familiar, and I knew exactly what I should have done...push her away and tell her I was done with her.  “I know.”

I was such an asshole.

“C’mon,” she smiled gently and pulled me closer to her.  “Can we just...start over, maybe?”

I sighed.  “Jess.”

“It’ll be different this time.  I promise.”

“No more photographers?”

“No.”  She reached up and stroked my face gently.  “I...Justin...sometimes I get so desperate for work, and you know how publicists are.  But I’m done with all of that.  I might even get out of the business and pursue something else.”

I wanted to laugh at her.  Pursue what? She was a leech, and nothing would ever change that.  I couldn’t say it though.  I couldn’t do anything else but smile at her.  “Okay,” I nodded.  “All right.”

She kissed me on the lips gently, and I found that I couldn’t help but kiss her back.  “I love you,” she whispered.

“Me too.”  

I couldn’t quite look at her, but she didn’t seem to care.  The only thing that mattered to Jess, I knew, was that she had me back.  It didn’t matter how I really felt about her.  The fact was, she didn’t have to be alone and could continue to benefit from our relationship as I agreed to be with her.

Like I said, I’m an idiot.  I took the easy way out, because I could break up with Jessica all I wanted, but she would never break up with me.  When we walked out into the living room together, holding hands, everybody seemed happy for us too.  Well, everybody except Trace, and my cousin Rachael, who knew what went on behind the scenes when it came to Jessica Biel.

“What happened to tabloid girl?” Rachael whispered into my ear a couple of hours later, as our group had decided to venture down to Beale Street to take part in some of the Christmas festivities.  “You seemed pretty cozy in that photograph.”

I looked around for Jessica, only to find that Trace had decided to distract her in a conversation.  I was sure it was their plan all along.  “I don’t know what you mean.  She was just some girl I met.  It’s not like I’m gonna see her again.”

“Justin, you can’t be serious about Biel.  It’s the third damn time you’ve taken her back.  I mean fuck, date anybody else.  Please.  Date a fan.  I don’t give a shit, just get rid of her, once and for all.”

I scowled.  “You don’t get it.”

“Oh I get it, all right. You’re a wimpy little pussy, too damn timid to take a risk because you dont want to get hurt.  Well, you know what? That’s how life works, Justin.  You should know that more than anybody else!”

“Hey!” I yelled it as she stormed away from me.  “Who the hell do you think you’re talkin’ to?”

“Its true!”

It told me that Trace had told her everything that happened on our journey to Memphis.  That meant she knew all about Dara, and the possibility that I had feelings for her.  I wanted to kill Trace, but knew I had to keep calm in front of my girlfriend.

“What’s her problem?” Jessica giggled as she came up beside me and looped her arm through mine.

“Guess it’s her time of the month.”

I got a laugh out of her, and it prompted me to smile, but then Trace walked past us with a couple of our other friends, and didn't hesitate to throw me a small glare.  He just...hated my decision, and I couldn’t blame him, but I felt there was nothing else I could do.  

I was trapped, and as we piled into the SUV, I could feel the walls Jessica Biel tended to form around us, closing in on me.  I was back in her world again, and this time, I was sure I would never get out of it again.  That mixed with the fact that I’d sort of hurt my mothers feelings was enough to make me want to crawl into bed with a bottle of booze for the rest of the holidays.  But...I was expected to do certain things, as always.  So I’ve been sitting here, while Jess tells her lame jokes to my friends, who have never liked her to begin with, hoping, by some miracle, that I’ll be able to have that Christmas I’ve been dreaming of for years.

The normal one.  The one where I’m treated like a regular Joe and not some fucking celebrity.

Our section has been roped off.  We’re at a bar that my family has frequented my whole life, but because there’s more tourists in town this time of year, they’ve forced us to have a section all to ourselves.  I guess I can understand, but it’s taking everything in me not to freak out right now.

“That mechanical bull looks interesting.”  Jessica points somewhere in the distance.

“You couldn’t handle it,” Rachael tells her.  

“Oh, yeah? I consider myself to be pretty diesel.”

She smiles at me.

I barely return it.

“C’mon, Biel.  Let’s see you in action then.”  Trace presses a button on his Blackberry and rises to his feet, flashing all of us a mischievous grin.

He’s up to something.

It can’t be good.

I should stop him.

“Come watch me,” she smirks, and tugs on my hand as she gets to her feet.

I glance at Trace, and he winks at me.  

Oh yeah, he’s definitely up to something, but I don’t say anything.

I guess I don’t want to, and all that tells me is that Rachael is right.  I don’t love this woman.  I’m just...scared.  I’m scared and I know who I’d rather be here with tonight.

But that’s impossible.

Our group leaves the roped off area, much to the dismay of the security guards that work for the bar.  They follow us over to the area where the mechanical bull sits, and I watch as my girlfriend cracks her knuckles and allows Trace to help her onto the thing.  I just stand there and watch stupidly.

Then I see Trace silently pull something up behind the bull.  It’s a large tub, filled with something.  I see Rachael laughing and whispering to our other friends.

Jessica is completely clueless.

Trace stares at me right before the bull is switched on, daring me to tell her.  

But I don’t say a word.

“Flip ‘er on!” Trace motions to the male staff member that controls the thing.

And he does it.

Jessica holds on where she’s supposed to, laughs as it starts to pick up speed, but before long I start to see the panic take over her expression.  It’s rough, a wild ride, that she wasn’t expecting.  I was on that thing once, when I was about seventeen, fell off after about five minutes, but it definitely wasn’t into a big vat of...whatever it is that Trace put there.  

It takes about two more minutes for her to be thrown off the thing.

And instead of landing on the padding surrounding the area, she falls right back into the vat of brown guck, shrieking when she realizes what’s happened.

Everybody is laughing at her, so damn hard.  Trace and Rachael, especially.  They’re clinging to each other for support, the tears streaming down their faces because it’s so hilarious to them.

I’m laughing too, trying my best not to look at her as I do, but it’s so hard.  I mean, she’s so pissed.  She’s fuming, dripping in watery brown guck.

And then...

Flash.

Flash.

Flash.

I look over my shoulder.

Paparazzi.

I gasp and look at my friends.  Trace has a smug smile on his face.  

He knew all along.

He knew she would do this, and got her back, in a big way.

“What...the...hell...happened?”  Jessica staggers to her feet, and takes a few towels from the staff member, who is so busy laughing he can barely look her in the eye as she grabs them from him.  “Who did this!”

Flash.

Oh man, the headlines.  I can just see them now.

“JUSTIN!”

I stare at her.  She’s covered in what I’m guessing is mud, but it looks more like diarrhea.  Shit, on Christmas weekend and all?

“WHO DID THIS!” She shrieks.

I shrug.

Trace dies with laughter.

Flash.

“Did you tell them where we were going tonight?” I ask her, as calmly as I can.

“Wh..what? I...I...didn’t...” she whimpers.

“You’re a fucking liar,” Trace tells her.  “I checked up on it, texted a few people.  You forget that we’re home, and know the press people in this town.  Guess you didn’t think about that huh?  You were too busy using Justin for your own benefit, like always.”

Her jaw drops open.

She’s been caught, red handed, and she knows it.  

I couldn’t ask for better friends, but now...I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do.

“Why don’t you get a cab or something, Jessica,” Rachael offers.  “You can wait outside and pose for the photographers.  Extra publicity...” she cracks up.  “I know you love it.”

“You little bitch...” She staggers forward, dripping the brown sludge all over the place, ready to lunge at my cousin.

I hold her back.  “Go on.” I tell her, pushing her back slightly.  “Just get out of here.”

Her muddy lips begin to tremble.  “But...Justin...”

“Look, it’s over, okay?”  I laugh and shake my head.  “It is, Jess.  Come on.”

She hangs her head low, sniffles, but walks away from us after that.  My eyes follow her, and even though I know this is the best thing for me, I can’t help but feel a little lost now that she’s gone for good.  

“Well, that was fucking hilarious.”  Trace throws and arm around my shoulders.  “What a great way to kick off the holiday!”

“What was that stuff?”

“Chocolate puddin’ and mud.  She’ll live, trust me.”

“Great.”  I smile but don’t laugh.  “Now I’ll probably have Sonya up my ass for a month.”

“Give me a break.  That little bitch deserved it.” He shakes me a little.  “You’ll thank me later, I promise.”

I shrug.  “Yeah.  I guess...I guess I just thought she might have changed, that’s all.”

“She’ll never change, Justin.  Now come on, lets go down the street to a real bar, okay?  They’re staying open til like four or five tonight.  You can drink your Biel nightmares away.”  He slaps me on the back, and walks away, beginning to laugh and carry on with our other friends.

“I wished for a Biel-less Christmas, and now I’m happy as can be-ee.”  Rachael sings it playfully in my ear as she walks past me so she can catch up with our other friends.

I smile slightly after her.

At least some of us are getting our Christmas wish this year.  Me on the other hand? I’m now completely single, and will be up to my neck in phone calls and interview demands due to this little incident.  My mother is upset with me, thinks I don’t want her around when in reality I’d just like her to be my mom instead of a friend, and...

And I still miss Dara.

I think that’s the biggest thing for me too, although I don’t have a clue why.  All I know, is that if I could only have one Christmas wish granted this year, she would be it.  I would love to just be able to spend these couple of days with her, surrounded by my family and friends.  It would be the best, most down to earth Christmas I’ve ever had.

But she’s gone.

And I have to accept that, because it’s my own fault.
*************
December 24, 2011

1:30 am

“No way.”

I look up at her a little groggily, as I down another shot.  “What?”r32;

Eva’s smile grows a little wider as she stares down at her Blackberry and begins to type furiously into it.  “You...you aren’t going to believe this.”

She turns the phone towards me.  All I see is an enraged woman covered head to toe in brown guck.  “What is that?”

“More like, who is it?” She laughs.  “You’ll never guess.”

I peer closer.  I don’t recognize her, most likely because she looks like a muddy version of Sasquatch.  “I give up.”

“Jessica Biel,” she cackles.  

“What?” I feel my eyes go wide and I yank the phone away from her, almost not being able to believe it.  I stare at the photo, and scroll down the text message.  Sure enough, it’s from Trace.

Little cunt told the media where we were at, so I got her back.  Not too bad huh?

“Trace did that?” I laugh.  

“He’s a prankster.” She sighs and takes the phone back.  “I think it’s hilarious, actually.  He told me how much he hates her scheming ass.  She finally got what was coming to her.  Hopefully, she won’t harass Justin anymore after tonight.”

“Yeah...” I trail off and start to play with my empty shot glass.

It’s weird that this subject has come up right now.  We’ve been out on the town since ten, drowning out our sorrows with alcohol and plenty of dancing with random men that we could care less about.  Eva has perked up, melted back into her normal, wild party girl mode, despite the fact that her mother has screwed her over on Christmas.  I guess it’s because I’m here.  I’ve always been here for her though, and will continue to be.  It’s getting her through this, more than anything or anybody else could, and I guess...she’s getting me through this Christmas too.  Just like she does every year that my parents don’t come home.

She’s the only friend I’ll ever really need.

But still, I know something else is missing.

Or more like, someone else.

The feeling is so strong, and I have no idea why.  It shouldn’t be like this.  I shouldn’t have feelings for Justin, because I barely know him.  It’s gotta be his image that I’m lusting after, not him...

But something is telling me that it’s a lie.  That I know him better than I think.

That we have a chance at something, and we’re letting the opportunity pass us by.

But what am I supposed to do? He left, and now he’s with his friends and family.  I have no place in that.

I never will.

“He wants to hang with us.” Eva speaks up, her smile wide as she stares back at me.  “They’re down the block.”

“You can go.” I say, immediately.  “I’ll just cab it back to your mom’s house.”

“No you won’t.” She laughs and jumps down from her bar stool.  “Come on, Dara.  You need this just as badly as I do.”

“You and Trace are different.”

“Justin wants to see you.  He’s just too chicken to come out and say it.”

I shake my head roughly.  “Eva...I can’t okay? I just can’t.  I want you to go though.  I really do.  You deserve to have something go your way this Christmas.”

“I don’t care if you can’t.” Her hand latches onto my arm just like it did at the Staple’s center.  “You’re coming.”

“Eva!”

I’m only able to stop her from dragging me when we exit the bar, and I yank my arm out of her hand.  “Seriously! I can’t do this!”

“Why the hell not, Dara!” She slaps her hands down at her sides.  “We drove all the way out here, you know? Things got messed up with my mom, but I’m making the best of it! You should too!  I already told you why he ran out on you like that.  Take it in stride...do something good for yourself, damn it!”

We’re standing in the middle of the sidewalk, panting harshly as we stare at each other.  People are passing by us, but I’m sure they’re too drunk to care that we’re having an argument in public.  “Why do you care so much?”

“Because I know he cares about you, Dara.  You don’t know guys, but I do, and Trace knows Justin better than anybody.  We’ve been texting this entire time, and both agree that you two deserve a chance, so just...forget about what happened and talk to the guy before it’s too late, would you?”

I sigh harshly.  “What if he doesn’t want to talk to me?”

“Then he’s a stupid jerk who doesn’t realize what he’s missing out on.  Now come on!”

I follow obediently behind her, and she makes sure to look over her shoulder every few moments, to make sure I’m still there.  We wind up at a place called Wet Willies about ten minutes later, and I can tell that the place is packed.  There’s a line too, and from the looks of things, nobody else seems to be getting in.  

“Well it looks like we can’t get in...”

My arm is grabbed by her again before I can turn all the way around.

“Really, Dara?” She lifts the phone to her ear as she finishes dialing, and rolls her eyes at me.  “Hey, yeah, we’re out front.  Okay, bye.”  She hangs up.

We wait.

Then I see Trace step out of the doorway, and talk to the bouncer guarding the door.  He points us out, and the large man motions us forward as the crowd looks on, trying to get a glimpse of their favorite celebrity.  Man, that was just too damn easy.

Trace has it bad for my best friend, and after tonight, I know her life will never be the same.  I can’t say the same for myself.  I’m sure I’ll just go back to Los Angeles, and continue to live my life as I always have, only...my parents won’t play such a big part anymore.

I guess that’s something.

“Did y’all like my chocolate monster?” Trace asks us as we make our way into the club with him, and he throws his arms around each of us.  “I got just the right combination of puddin’ and mud to make her look like Swamp Thing.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Eva tells him, with a playful smile.  “I mean, people have feelings.”

We pause in the middle of the club, and he removes his arm from around me, so he can pull her close to him.  “I missed you, you know?”

Oh God.

She smiles at him, and then he leans in, and begins to kiss her.  Then they decide to make out, right there in the middle of the place.  Nobody stops them.

And I’m on my own.

Great.

It’s a Christmas miracle, stuck in a club with my horny best friend and her new love toy.  Just what I always wanted.

I walk towards the back, find an empty table and sit down, willing the night to be over so I can escape this place.

“Got an extra seat?”

I look up.

Shit.

Justin is smiling down at me nervously, and while I know he’s trying to hide it, I’m positive that he didn’t know I would be here like this.  He was unprepared for this meeting, just like I was, but our friends forced us into it.  “Sure.” I nod and motion him to sit down.

He takes a seat and sighs.  “Where are the two love birds?”

“Making out somewhere, I’m sure.” I roll my eyes.

He laughs.  “It’s cool though, don’t you think? They’re kind of perfect for each other.”

I nod.  “Yeah. You’re right.”

Silence.  

“Look...Dara...”

“You don’t have to say anything.” I shake my head and gaze down at my hands that are folded on top of the table now.  “I’m here for Eva and you’re here for Trace.  That’s all.”

“Right.  I guess, but...I shouldn’t have run out on you.”

“I was pretty pathetic,” I laugh.  “I would have ran out on me too.”

“You’re not pathetic.”  He smiles and reaches out so I’ll give him my hand.  “Not at all.”

I stare at his hand.  It’s scaring the shit out of me, but at the same time, I’m longing for his touch.  I decide to take that risk that Eva just yelled at me about, and place my hand gently in his.

His smile widens.

“You wanna dance?”

“Do you remember what happened the last time we danced?” I laugh.

He shrugs.  “C’mon.  Everybody can learn from their mistakes, right?”

“I dunno. Not me.”

“Don’t pull out the self doubt now girl,” he laughs.  “I just got you back.”

It makes me stare at him, shocked.  

It’s like he cares.  Really cares about me.

“Justin...”r32;

“Just come on.  If I fuck up, you can leave me this time, okay?”

I let out a long sigh.  “I guess so.”

He smiles and pulls me up out of the chair so he can lead me out to the dance floor.  I don’t even know what time it is, all I know is that the floor is partially empty, because most people in here are too drunk to dance coherently.  

And wouldn’t you know it? A slow song starts to play.

“Did you plan this?” I laugh as he pulls me gently into his arms.

He gives me a playful smirk.  “I know a guy.”

Within a few moments, he’s pulled me close enough to him that I’m able to rest my head against his chest.  I don’t step on his feet and he doesn’t take any party drugs tonight.

Tonight, it’s just about us, even if it’s a little awkward and not exactly perfect.

And I realize that...I really do care about him.  I care about him even though I barely know him, and lusted after him like a stupid kid for years.  I’m not that person anymore though.  I’m just Dara, and he’s just Justin, and I can treat him that way.  It’s why he likes me, why he cares, and...I’d love to get to know that person even better.

If he’ll let me.

“I told my mom we couldn’t be friends anymore.” He laughs gently and wraps his arms around me a little tighter.  “I think she’s pissed but...I know we’ll be better off in the long run.”

“Yeah?  Well, I basically told my parents to fuck off.”

He gaps a little.  “You?”

I pull back and laugh as I stare into his brilliant blue eyes.  “Yeah, I went there, at your suggestion.”

“Maybe I should do therapy?”

“Hm...no.  Stick to that music thing, okay?”

“Noted.”

I lay my head back against his chest, letting myself get lost in the soft Christmas music that’s playing as we dance.  

This night couldn’t get any better, even if it’s the craziest thing that’s ever happened to me.

“Merry Christmas, Dara.”  His lips land on my forehead.  

“Did you get your Christmas wish?” I ask him softly.

“Yeah.”

I turn my head so I can look up at him again.  He touches my face gently, and I know...it’s the first of many touches he’s going to give to me from now on.  

“Wanna know what it was?”

“A chocolate monster?” I giggle.

“Close,” he laughs, and leans his face down closer to mine.  “It was you.”

I’m breathless...

And then his lips grab mine.  My eyes close and I take him in completely.  It’s different from the first time.  There’s no nerves now, it’s just us, and our emotions, and I know...this is the way things were always supposed to be.  We just had to let go, and now that they have, I know that things are going to change.  They might be weird, and strange at first, but I know in the long run our relationship is going to be different.

Our relationship is going to work out.  Somehow, I know that, and he knows it too.

That’s all we really needed.  A little bit of hope, and some Christmas magic to help us believe in each other.

“Merry Christmas, Justin.”