‘Use it wise’ ‘Tell the big dude he will have to go without Keisha Douglas for a long time’ I smiled happily nothing would bring me back prematurely.
‘Your mom always told us you were funny’ I stopped and gazed at the door which I was supposed to go through.
‘Thank you’ I whispered going towards the door.
‘Be careful and pray’ and that was the last I heard before I was sent back to earth. The planet I stared down upon for what seemed like a long time but was only a month.
I stood in my bedroom my old bedroom. I spun round looking at how much it was still the same. I had left all of this and I had missed it terribly and I couldn’t help but curl in a ball and cry on my bed.
I must have fell asleep because it was morning and I could hear voices downstairs. I ran down and walked straight past Trace he was behind me when I was just in front. I waved my hand.
‘Trace!’ I cried but he just stared straight through me. My ears instantly pricked up to the sounds of Justin's sweet low voice and followed it to the kitchen. I braced myself to see him in front of me. He was standing leaning over the counter staring at the food I prepared him before I... and it was untouched, not even removed, and the smell I could never stand for bad smells in my kitchen. I walked closer to Justin and touched his cheek but he couldn't feel it he didn’t react or anything. He continued to stare at the food. I couldn’t look at it. A reminder of the selfish thinking I went through that day. I tried to move it but my hands just passed through it as if it was air.
I was invisible they had sent me back invisible. What was I to do in this condition? Suffer? Be forced to watch the damage I had caused. Everyday a constant reminder of the human being I had become.
‘Keisha’ I head Justin whisper. I gazed at Justin and responded instantly to him.
‘Justin, Justin I'm right here’ I cried tears falling on my face.
‘I know’ he answered but whether it was to me I wasn’t sure. I stared at him but he was still staring at the food. Why is he torturing himself? Suddenly the strangest thing happened. It made me dizzy that I had to shut my eyes but when I reopened them I imagined me and Justin.
‘Justin I will always be there for you’ I said softly, I watched myself hugging Justin in the exact same place a few years back. There was so much love so much tenderness. The weeks before I...it was such a cold relationship Justin would try but I made excuses I stayed at work late left early i argued about the most stupidest things I looked for anything to be angry at Justin about and I regretted it all.
'I Know' he whispered back. He must've been thinking back to when he had to go for an operation and I had connected with him I could see and hear what memories he was going through. And I was back to reality.
‘Justin!’ Trace called marching to the kitchen very impatient about something. Justin fixed himself up and stood straight putting on a front but I knew. Trace knew we were the closest people to Justin.
‘Are you okay man?’ Trace asked patting his shoulder his eye glancing towards the food. Dear God Trace get rid of it. Justin will become compulsive about it.
‘Yeah’ he whispered his voice weak that I cried more.
I had done this I caused Justin to be like this because of my stupidity. How could I not see that Justin loved me that I loved him/. Why had you sent me back like this!‘Trace can I have a few moments alone?' he asked Trace softly. Trace didn’t want to leave Justin alone it's understandable he did try something that night.
‘Sure I'm in the car’ he answered before leaving. Justin turned away from the food and his eyes scanned the kitchen. The kitchen was somewhere I loved to be. My favourite room in the house. I made wonders in that kitchen all of which Justin said was brilliant.
‘God she wasn’t ready to be with you why did you take her damn it’ he banged his fists on the counter and I just wanted to hold him.
‘Keisha tell me why? I still don’t know. I don’t understand I loved you I still love you’ The words cut right into me of all the people I'd helped over the years, the one person which pained me to see like this I could do nothing. I walked round the Island to the other side. Thinking of how I could explain why I did what I did.
‘I know now you did, it was me I don’t deserve you Justin I turned on you because you were everything I ever wanted and I'm sorry’ I rambled on. I almost got caught up in myself when I realised how quiet Justin had become. I looked up to Justin my eyes locking with his I was looking into him but he was doing the same the connection there and intense.
I was alive
‘Justin’ I whispered he ran to me hugging me tightly pushing me back onto the stove and I hugged him just as hard. It was beautiful to be able to hold him and smell him feel his heart on my chest. I fell forward and he fell forward into the counters. I turned round as did Justin but he wasn’t looking directly at me.
I was invisible
‘Keisha come back’ he cried his arm touched out to the air but I wasn’t there. Not to him
‘You deserve me I forgive you’ he begged falling to his knees
‘Just come back’ he cried again.
‘Justin what’s the matter?’ Trace asked concerned.
‘Keisha she was-' he couldn’t bring the words to say it.
‘She was...?’ Trace repeated.
‘Here Trace I just saw her’
‘Justin come on get up' Trace helped him up and sat him on the breakfast table. He continually stared at the spot where we just were.
‘She looked beautiful Trace she looked breathtaking, she didn’t look like she was dead’ he said the last word paining him to say.
‘That’s good if you’re not seeing the Keisha at the beach'
‘God Trace it felt so real I swear she was there I could' he looked at his hands and the feeling like he just held something slipped away.
‘Justin are you okay?’ Trace asked once again. You could never ask someone too much if they were okay.
‘I’m so angry with her'.
‘I'm so sorry Justin'.
