One more night with the same neon lights
And I’ll find my place at the bar
One more down so I buy one more round
And I’ll try to drown out my heart

He’ll walk in and make every head turn
And he’ll always be dressed to kill
Day I left is my only regret
And now it’s become his biggest thrill

All my friends will say, “Hey, don’t you know him?”
And I’ll try to play it off cool
When they ask I’ll just say he’s nobody
And me, well I’m nobody’s fool

Won’t take long and he’ll find him someone
And then pull them out for a dance
Every note tells me that’s all she wrote
And reminds me how I missed my chance

When he’s done he’ll have a little more fun
And he’ll let her act like she’s smooth as they walk out
Well, I’m learning about what it is that had nothing to lose

All my friends will say, “Hey, don’t you know him?”
And I’ll try to play it off cool
When they ask I’ll just say he’s nobody
And me, well I’m nobody’s fool
Yeah

Oh and me I’m nobody’s fool

I’m feeling confident.  I’m feeling good.  I’m feeling confident.  I’m feeling good…

Repeating those phrases over and over in my mind is supposed to help me pull this night off.  The only thing I’ve succeeded in so far, though, is giving myself a migraine.  I just can’t seem to shut off my mind, and it wants to wander in a forbidden direction.

Currently, I’m sitting at the bar, drowning myself in vodka tonics.  I’ve been avoiding this bar for a while, but my best friend is turning 30 and this is where she wanted to come.  I couldn’t come up with a valid enough excuse, so here I am, wishing I could hook up an IV of alcohol so this process will speed up and I can blackout sooner.  Usually, I’m not so dramatic.  I just…I know I’m going to run into someone I know here, and I don’t want to have to face that moment just yet.

“Lucy!”  My name is called over the bumping music, and I turn to spot the rest of my friends.  They’re dressed to the nines, looking like they’re ready to party.  So, I plaster on a smile and straighten out my dress, making my way over to them.

“Happy Birthday, girlfriend.”  I give Sandy a tight hug, inwardly forcing myself to relax and enjoy this night with her.

“You look incredible!  Have you lost weight?”  Marcia points at my outfit, looking me over.  I drop my glance down and shrug.  I suppose not being able to eat or sleep for the past week might have aided in some unintended weight loss.

“Ladies!  I’ve got our table all set.  Let’s go party!”  Brianna leads us all to a corner table, set up with bottles of champagne.  “Sit, sit.  We have booze, I’ve got food on the way, and there are plenty of hot men just waiting for us to snag them!”  Brianna is the party animal of the group.

We situate ourselves at the table.  I down a few quick glasses of champagne, toasting to Sandy.  Then, we flag the waitress and get a round of the hard stuff, which is exactly what I need, because as I down my first shot of Jaeger, he walks in the doors, looking damn near edible.  I steal another shot and throw that back, too.

“Okay, girls, let’s scope out the scenery, shall we?”  Marcia puts us to task, and we begin a tradition we’ve all shared for years now.  We take our time, searching the crowds for any man that looks worthy of our attention.  If we find anyone, we point them out to the rest, and then we rate on a scale of one to ten.  Sandy will get first choice tonight, seeing as it’s her birthday and all.  After that, it’s open for the rest of us.

I don’t want to admit to them that I’m really not up for it tonight, but they all look so happy I can’t stand to ruin the mood.  So, I do my duty and scan the crowd.  I specifically avoid looking in the direction I saw him saunter off to, hoping I can pretend he doesn’t exist tonight.

“Three o’clock, dark suit and tie.”  Marcia spots the first and I hold my breath, praying it’s not him.  I’m in luck now, because it’s not, so I happily give a rating and assess.  He’s cute, and I start to relax slightly, although, that might be the vodka.

Our eyes wander for a while more, and it’s Sandy that spots the next one.  “Hey, hunk at twelve o’clock.  Jeans, nice ass, button down shirt…”  We turn to look and I inwardly cringe.  “Hey, Luce, don’t you know that guy?”

Shit.  Now I have to play it cool.  “Nah, I don’t think so.”  Right.  That’ll fool ‘em.

Fortunately, they take my word for it, but now that I’ve spotted him in the crowd, I can’t stop watching him.  I think he knows it, too.  He’s pulling a busty blond onto the dance floor, bringing her close to him with that devilish smile that won me over.  I think I see him peek over in my direction, but that might be wishful thinking.  He’s got his hands all over her, and she’s laughing at something witty he’s whispering into her ear.  I think I might vomit up all of that vodka.

“Okay girls, another round of shots!”  Someone sets a glass in front of me and I have no idea what’s even in it.  They’ve barely made the toast before I’m throwing it back. 

I am such a pathetic loser.

Justin Timberlake walked into my life about a month ago.  It was in this same bar that we first bumped into each other, and I was infatuated from that first moment.  He bought me a drink and engaged me in a very interesting, thought-provoking conversation which was very unusual for me.  He said he was new to the area and that I was the first kind, open person he’d had the pleasure of meeting.  What got me, though, was that he didn’t ask to take me home.  He offered me his number, said that I should call if I was up for some sight seeing, because he wanted to get to know the area better. 

It worked.

Two days later I called him up and we spent the day strolling around town, visiting everything that looked interesting and talking about everything and nothing all at once.  I was smitten, really.  And then he kissed me, tasting like vanilla ice cream…we started spending more time together and we’re pretty close to claiming something official, I think.

I had to go ruin everything, though. 

Me and my big mouth.

I was excited about what we had going.  He made me laugh, he made me comfortable, and I truly enjoyed his company.  So, of course, I did the terribly girly thing and I invited him home to meet my parents.  He came up with a few polite excuses, but I didn’t get the hint and I persisted, pestering until he admitted that he just didn’t want to.  Too soon, he told me, and I didn’t listen.  I should’ve just shut up and listened.  Oh no, I just had to open my mouth and give the boy an ultimatum.

I realized my mistake not long after I stormed out of his place, but my pride was too bruised and my ego too big.  I didn’t have the nerve to apologize and see if we could try again.

Now that I see him with Big Boobs McGee over there, though, I have a feeling his answer would be ‘no.’

“Lucy, are you still with us?”

“I think the alcohol is finally rotting her brain.”

I can hear my friends and I know I should move my eyes away from Justin, but it’s a little difficult.  He looks good, and he looks happy with his new friend.  I feel like shit.

I feel a warm hand on my shoulder and Sandy is standing next to me, giving me a small smile.  She catching the direction of my stare and the smile grows sad.  “You sure you don’t know him, Luce?”

I shake my head.  “He’s nobody.” 

And me…well, I’m just Nobody’s fool.