Jazz just got back and I saw her get on the elevator. We have about an hour and a half before we leave for the charity game. I lean on the wall by my room and wait for her. The elevator doors open and I note the scowl on her face, looks like she's about to behead someone. My best guess is Nick, Lance, JC or me. "What's up, Jazz?"
"Not out here, we can talk in my room," she snaps, pulling her keycard out and sliding it in her lock when she gets near her room.
We walk in and she throws her bag into the corner, putting a CD in the boombox she has in one of her duffel bags when she goes somewhere. She presses play and I hear the song that has set her off, worse than Lance, JC or I could manage. She's on a rampage and I completely understand, I'm on her side as I hear the words:
'I'm so sorry
That I called you
I'm trying to pick up
The pieces of my life
I forgot that we were over
Tell me what went wrong
Wrong, wrong, wrong
Twelve days, four hours, twenty minutes
I'm stuck and you know you've got me in it
Broken glass on the floor from the picture frame
Shame, shame, shame
We had it all
This love so strong
Now everything
We had is gone
If you could read my mind
You'd know I've crossed that line
Cuz I'm as sick as my secrets
Yeah, it's killing me
You know that I mean it
I need you next to me
There's nowhere to run
Girl, I can't let you go
And it's twisted I know
But I just can't take it no more
Six miles, twelve lights till your front door
I'm on my way just like I have so many times before
Does he know that it's me you've been talking to?
Shame, shame, shame
If you could read my mind
I'm gonna fight to get you back this time
Cuz I'm as sick as my secrets
Yeah, it's killing me
You know that I mean it
I need you next to me
There's nowhere to run
Girl, I can't let you go
And it's twisted I know
But I just can't take it no more
I'm tired of all these lies
There's nothing but regret behind these eyes
All this love I could never show
I don't care any more
Give a damn who knows
Cuz I'm as sick as my secrets
Yeah, it's killing me
You know that I mean it
I need you back with me
There's nowhere to run
Girl, I can't let you go
And it's twisting my soul
But I just can't take it no more
Sick as my secrets
Yeah, it's killing me
You know that I mean it
I need you next to me
There's nowhere to run (nowhere to run)
Girl, I can't let you go (nowhere to hide)
And it's twisted I know
But I just can't take it no more
Yeah, I just can't leave you alone
Yeah, yeah
Tired of all the lies
Oh, babe you've got me stripped of my pride
Gonna shout it from a mountain top
Yeah, drain the oceans from the tears we've cried
Gonna break down these walls
Gonna stand tall
Gonna be your man
Help you understand that I'll never let you go'.
What gets under my skin is Nick sings main vocals the whole time and I'm almost absolutely certain that's why she's so pissed, too. "That's 'what's up'," she tells me, infuriated and pointing at the radio.
I'm upset too, he claims he loves her and he does this shit to her? "I get it, I really do. That's wrong."
"I need to talk to Dallas," she says, scrunching up in a ball on her bed against the wall.
She puts her head down on her knees and JC does his warning knock before security opens the door. "What's up?"
"Next person that dares to ask me that will be castrated or beaten!" she screams, her hands holding her head.
"What happened?"
"Just press play on her radio and take a listen, keep in mind it's Nick. He wrote it," I tell him, sitting on the bed with my back to the wall and relaxing.
"About me," Jazz confesses, beginning to cry. She's emotionally torn. She lays on the bed, facing away from the door and cries even harder as JC listens to it.
He stays quiet after it's done, breathing heavily and we can tell he's pissed. "What room?" he demands, teeth clenched and mad as hell.
"503," is her only reply, not caring.
I touch her and she flinches, pulling herself into my body to bury her face in my chest seconds later. "It's ok."
"No, it's not."
"I'm here."
"Thanks." She gives me a kiss from her tear soaked lips.
Britney and I just had a fight over touring and we're taking a break, giving us both the freedom to do as we please. We hear screaming and slamming the room directly above us. "What the fuck?" she inquires, wiping her face and getting up to check it out. I follow suit and she takes the stairs two at a time, I take them three at a time.
We see JC standing just a little more than arm's length from Nick, hearing him scream at him. "How could you record that? Why even consider releasing it if you supposedly 'love' her? You just got her back and this is what I feared would happen! You have alot of praying to do! I knew I should have had her cut all ties to you years ago! You're a piece of shit! You're a scared boy in a man's body! I hope karma kicks your ass, if she doesn't do it first!" he screams, turning on his heels and speed walks out of the room as the Boys' security shows up. He shoves through them. "Mark my words and take them seriously!" he yells over his shoulder.
She walks up to him, looking him up and down for a minute before she tears into him. She shoves him. "How could you?! That was personal! You fucking promised!" she shouts at him, crying and shoving him backward. "That's a low blow! 'Sick As My Secrets'? I wonder what I see in you sometimes!" A tap on my shoulder claims my attention for a few seconds and it's Tyler, so I turn back to her fighting with Nick.
He grabs her wrists with one hand and pins her to the wall. "First off, I wrote it when we were fooling around. Second, it's most likely not going to be released. Third, I'm holding onto it," he growls at her.
"Touch her and die," Tyler warns him.
"I don't hit females," he tells us, never breaking the gaze with his girlfriend. "Am I clear, Samantha?"
"Let go of me," she barks back, struggling against his hold.
"Am I fucking clear?" he reiterates, pinning her waist to the wall behind her with his free hand and holding her hands to the wall.
She spits in his face. "You're going for low blows and that was a dirty move." When she gets pissed, she doesn't lose focus.
"Sam, stop and listen," he snaps at her. "It won't be released."
"It can be leaked."
"I have the only copy."
"No you don't."
"Who does?"
She refuses to say another word, spitting at him again and misses. "Fuck you," she growls.
"Seriously, who else has a copy of it?" He lets go of her hands and grips her jaw in his hand, covered almost entirely by his hand. She stops fighting him for fear of worse injury than a bruise. "Tell me," he says through clenched teeth. He waits a minute or two, before using the hand he was holding her face with, he balls it up and pulls it back, slamming the side of his fist against the wall near her head and she squeaks. He pushes off the wall and runs his hand through his hair as she watches him begin pacing, silent.
She slides across the wall to us and hides from him, her hands on my lower back. "You're scaring her," Tyler speaks up.
"Get her out of here," he says, waving us off as he broods by the window.
Her head rests in the middle of my back, I reach back and scratch her head. "Want me to take her to her room?" I quietly ask Tyler.
"Yeah, I have to talk to him. Matter of fact, bring her to Josh."
"Yup."
I let her piggy back down to C's room and he quickly reaches for her. She latches onto him, clinging to his front. "What happened when I stormed off?" I recount the events and he gets more upset than he was when he walked away. "Are you fucking serious?!" he shouts.
"Completely. Chill, Tyler is here and he's dealing with it," I inform him.
"Oshai, I'm scared," Jazz tells him, diverting his attention from what Nick had done to comforting her.
"What are you scared about?" he asks, sitting on his bed.
She shifts to sit beside him, her head on his shoulder and plays with his finger tips. "He reminded me of Brandon, how he reacted."
"Brandon?" I ask.
"Her biological dad. He'd get high and drunk, beating her mom and her as a little child. That's why Miss Vikki ran, moving every time he was close to finding them."
"Why can't he find her now? Why didn't she run the last time?"
"She made sure Sam is safe, having placed her in our care and she let him find her. Brandon found her a few months ago and that's why I took off that night, to protect her. Nick had taken her and run, keeping her alive. Do you know why she ran off when they broke up?"
"She never said."
