One year ago

“What’s taking them so long?”

“Just relax.” I give his thigh a firm squeeze as he stares up at the score board.  “She was a half second off during the last minute or so.  Vic will have the advantage.”

He rubs his top lip, not tearing his gaze away from the board in the sky.  “Maybe they didn’t notice what you noticed.”

“You’re so ridiculous.” I put my head in my hands and groan.  “You freak out way too much at these things.”

“That’s my right as a father...shit, look there it is...” My husband trails off and looks on hopefully as the numbers begin to flash across the board.  

“Two sevens three nines.  Satisfied?”

He looks at me.  “Yeah but...”

“It’s mediocre, Vic hasn’t scored that way in two years.  She’ll blow that Heather Winters out of the water.”

He just nods, and laces his fingers through mine.  “Right.”

“What else is wrong?”r32;
He shrugs a little.  “What do you know about this new friend of Davey’s?  I mean, they’re flying in tonight and I have no idea what to expect.  He hasn’t been home in so long I don’t even know if he’s going to be the same kid I remember.”

“He’s not the same kid,” I smirk.  “He’s an adult now and he’s been that way for years, as much as it kills you to admit that.  As far as this friend of his goes, he hasn’t said much, just that he’s excited to introduce us.”

“Austin wouldn’t even tell me about her, and he’s the one who actually went to New York and met her.  He wouldn’t even give me a hint what she’s like, or tell me how they met.  He was acting really secretive.  Maybe she’s an ex felon or something,” he laughs.  “You think?”

“Really? You know how they are, J.  Austin would keep a secret for Davey to the grave if he had to.”  I rub his arm gently.  “Davey wants to do this all on his own.  He’s never brought a girl home before, you know that.  It’s a big deal for him, so lets try to be understanding, okay?”

“Yeah...”  He trails off and a smile flies on his face.  I know it’s because Victoria has come out to the floor.  He lets go of my hand then, stands up and cheers for her.  Naturally she looks up and rolls her eyes at me, as if I can stop his embarrassing display of emotion.

He’s such a sap.

But he’s my sap.

“You’re embarrassing the child.”

“No way.  She loves this, watch.” He smirks at me and cups his hands around his mouth.  “Hey Vic! You’re gonna do great baby!  Just watch the boundary line!”

Even from here, I can see how red my daughter’s face has turned.

“I can’t take you anywhere,” I laugh as he sits down beside me again.  “I swear to God.”

He shrugs as her routine music starts to play, and doesn’t respond to my comment.  He’s too immersed in what Vic is doing.  It’s how he always gets, most likely because he’s spent hours watching her practice and giving her as much support as he can.  The truth is, Vic loves gymnastics, and if given the opportunity, I know she would take it a lot more seriously, try to go pro.  She was offered a spot in one of the most elite gymnastic training camps in the nation, thanks to Justin’s networking.  It’s all the way across the country in Florida.  They told me she would live there, come home on the holidays, and we would be allowed to visit her a couple of weeks out of the year.

She wanted to go so bad, she still does.

But I just don’t want that for her.  It’s too much pressure, and I want her to focus on school, even though Justin tells me I should let Vic do whatever it is she wants to do.  That’s not logical though.  We agreed when they were born that our children would be brought up in a more down to earth environment, so they would become humble adults.  Sending Vic off to gymnastics camp for a year to work with a famous teacher wouldn’t exactly be sticking to the plan.  She would have to finish most of her high school courses by mail if she went, so I put my foot down, and Justin quickly backed down.

We’d miss her too much, anyway.

She’s still angry with me for telling her she couldn’t go, but that’s my job in life...to be the mean old mom while Daddy dearest seems to do no wrong in her eyes.  That’s how it’s always been, from the time she was small.  Sure, Justin got a little bit tougher on her as the years went on, like...finally being able to say no to her once she turned seven, but that’s about as harsh as he’s ever been when it comes to Vic.  He leaves punishing and grounding her up to me, even when he knows she deserves it. He’s so soft when it comes to her, but I know he has his reasons.

I know that she reminds him, in some small way, of his mother.

At least my sons haven’t found a reason to hate my guts yet.  Boys are easier.  I’ve always been convinced of that despite how many times Justin’s best friend Trace has tried to tell me otherwise.  I love Vickie of course.  She’s the only girl and because of that, there are certain things in her life that she’s more comfortable talking to me about than she is with her father.  At the same time though, she and Justin have always been a little bit closer, while I’ve found myself bickering with her more often than not.  She was diagnosed with ADD when she was eight years old, most likely inherited from her father, and I’ve never had the patience to deal with it.  It’s not something I’m proud of.  Over the past fifteen years I’ve found myself crying to my husband more times than I’d like to admit about the situation.  I felt like I was a terrible mother at times, that I couldn’t relate or understand her like I should have been able to.  Justin, naturally, just laughed it off, told me I was being ridiculous.  “Vic loves you,” he’d say, before silencing me with a kiss.  “So she has a couple of issues? It’s not a big deal, Ab.  Just do the best you can.  I can handle most of her little tantrums on my own.”

Eventually I decided put up with that excuse, stop worrying about how close I was with my daughter.  My concerns were only bringing more stress into my marriage, and if I knew one thing about my husband, it was that he hated to be stressed about petty little problems.  We had it good.  Better than most people we knew, and there was no reason to stir up unnecessary drama.  I found myself focusing on my boys more after that.  It was just easier, and for some reason, I was able to relate to them better.  A part of me felt that it was because of all the years I spent raising Justin’s brothers, Austin and Davey.  I was better at understanding the needs of two growing boys, and Justin seemed to have the Victoria situation under control.

My second pregnancy went much smoother than the first.  There was no bed rest involved, and I was prepared for what was coming. Mason grew curious about what was going on with me the moment I started to show.  He loved to touch my belly and put his ear up to it, trying to hear what was going on inside.  I would always tell him that there was a baby growing in there, so I guess he figured he would be able to hear it happening.  It was cute, and Mason was patient with me.  As the baby got bigger, I grew less active, and couldn’t cater to the twins every need like they were used to.  Mason could usually find something to occupy himself with, as he’d always been the curious, resourceful one.  It was Victoria that had a hard time.  She would want me to play with her or take her somewhere, and she just couldn’t understand why it wasn’t possible.  Justin did a lot with her throughout those nine months.  A lot of things without me.  Do I regret it? No. I know she needed that, and Justin was more than willing to step up and make life a little easier for all of us.

I’m sure its a big part of the reason she and I aren’t as close now.  

Conner Timberlake was born in March of the following year.  While Mason took almost all of his features from his father, and Vic from me, Conner was different.  He has bright, fire red hair, freckles, and green eyes.  None of that is a running trait on my side, but Justin and his Aunt Kimberly swear it could have come from somewhere down their family tree.  It was a running joke for the first couple of years of Conner’s life that he was switched at the hospital.  When he got a little older though, we knew it couldn’t have been possible.  He’s stubborn like his father, and has that artistic side to him like Davey inherited from his own parents.  He likes to draw, and he just started taking piano a couple of months ago.  He’s also extremely independent, like me.  He proved from a young age that he was determined to take care of himself.  We had to put him in one of those kid leashes, all the time, which was embarrassing, but if we didn’t do it he would run off and have an adventure.  I can’t even count how many times I lost him in the grocery store before Justin went out and bought the harness for him to wear.  I hated it, but I’m convinced he wouldn’t be here right now if we didn’t take measures into our own hands.

He’ll be eight on Sunday.  The twins are fifteen now.  I don’t know where the time went. I guess we’ve been so busy living our lives, and being a family, that we haven’t been able to slow down long enough to notice how quickly the time was passing.

Timberlake Financial continued to thrive once Conner was born, and by the time he was five, Justin decided to appoint somebody else to be in charge of the day to day operations, so he could work from home and spend as much time as he wanted with our kids.  That person, naturally, was Austin.  It took a lot of begging and pleading on Justin’s part, to get his brother to come work for him.  Austin had been working the Wall Street circuit for a number of years, helping Trace and Donald Trump with their business venture.  He’d done well, made a nice living for himself in New York, and that was exactly why Justin felt his brother was ready to step in and start taking over the family business.  Austin was reluctant.  He loved the busy lifestyle that only the city could provide, and wasn’t sure he was ready to slow down.  The work Justin did was mere child’s play compared to Wall Street.  I knew that, and I barely had a clue to how Justin ran a financial empire so well.  It took some gentle coaxing on my part, to convince Austin that his brother was trying to give him the family business, and that he’d appreciate it in the future.

It worked.  

Austin made the move six months later, and allowed Justin to help him settle into his position, but I’m still not sure if he’s doing the work because he really wants to, or because he’s trying to appease me. Trace’s daughter, Kristy, moved here the summer after Austin arrived, and that seemed to change his attitude a little.  They’d been best friends since they were in middle school, and getting Austin out of the city seemed to make the tides turn as far as their relationship went.  They’ve been seeing each other steadily for over a year now.  I’m praying he marries her.  Justin and I made trips out to see the boys a couple of times a year while they were living in the city, and Austin’s choice in women was never something I was crazy about.  He’s just like his brother...only, more humble than Justin was at that age, and I guess that’s thanks to me.

I’m trying to be patient and not nag Austin about his relationship.  Justin has practically demanded it from me, but damn...it’s hard.  That’s my son, and while we aren’t blood related, when he does finally settle down and have children, I fully intend on treating those babies like they’re my own grandchildren.  I can’t wait, but if I know Austin, it’s going to be a long time before he commits.  That sort of things scares him, and of course I’m not surprised.  Once upon a time, Justin was the same way.

Vic finishes her set with a difficult landing she’s been practicing for weeks in our yard, and I watch my husband let out a huge breath of relief as the music ends and she is able to get to her feet again.  I feel my smile grow larger as I clap and cheer for her.  I know how well she did, but I’m not going over the top ecstatic like her father.  He’s hooting and hollering and fist pumping, just like he always does.  

“Did you see that babe!” He grabs me and pulls me close to him so he can plant a kiss on the top of my head.  “She was incredible!”

“I told you,” I chuckle.  “Goofball.”

Justin continues to hold me, but I can tell he’s holding his breath again.  Victoria is standing off to the side, her teammates gathered around her for support as they wait for her score to appear on board.  Vic’s outcome is critical.  It’s the difference between going to the State finals or not, and I wish they wouldn’t put so much pressure on the kids sometimes.  I’ve seen what it does to my daugther.  She worries about being perfect in her routines, sometimes practicing late into the night, and I’ve had to go out there and drag her into the house so she’d be able to get up for school.

As bad as it is, sometimes, I wish something would make her stop wanting to do this so often.  But I know it’s a crazy thought.  This is her passion, and it will always be, no matter how much I put my foot down.

The scoreboard lights up, flashes my daugthers name, and then the numbers begin.  Seven...

r32;I can hear Justin groaning.

Nine...

Nine...

Nine...

Ten.

A high pitched shriek seems to erupt from Victoria’s team all at once, and then my husband does as I expect of him...he breaks away from me and runs down to congratulate our daughter.  I sit down, clap, and smile at her when she looks back at me as her father throws his arms around her.  She knows I’m not as enthusiastic as him, and has come to expect it from me.  At least I come to these things.  That’s all that really matters.

My cellphone buzzes in my pocket, and I take a moment to check it, finding I have a text message from Davey.  His flight landed, and Austin met up with him and his guest at the airport.  He tells me they should be at the house within the hour, and I’d like nothing more than to leave this place right now.  “Justin!” I yell.

He doesn’t hear me.  He’s too busy smiling proudly at Vic as she hoists her teams first place trophy high in the air.  Then they start to take pictures.  I sigh.  We’re not getting out of here anytime soon, so I decide to resort to plan b.  I quickly call the house, smiling when I hear Mason’s voice come over the line.

“Hey, baby, can you do me a favor?”

“Sure...aren’t you guys on your way home?”

r32;
“Not yet.  Vic’s team won so they’re in mid celebration.  Can you put that roast in for me, honey?  Austin and Davey are going to be at the house within the hour, and I don’t want them to starve if we dont’ get home fast enough.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.  I’ll start it now.”

I hear him start to move things around, and I know he’s already in the kitchen.  “Thanks.  How’s Conner?”

“He’s been good.  We ordered that pizza like you said, and there’s some cartoon marathon on today that’s been keeping him silent for most of the afternoon.  I know you hate planting him in front of the TV, but I needed to study for that exam on Monday.”

I smile.  He’s such a good kid.  Always puts school first, and helps me out with whatever I ask him to.  He’s more like me, a bookworm, very intellectual.  He makes the honor role every semester, and constantly wins awards for academic achievement.  His dream is to go to Dartmouth like his Uncle Austin did, but I already know that he’ll do it.  For one his grades are flawless, and well...we have the finances to send him to whatever school he wants to attend.  Naturally, Justin thinks he’s going to get into finance, but I’m not so sure.  Mason has told me that he might want to be a teacher, and I’m completely supportive of that.

Justin isn’t though.  He sits down with him all the time, trying to show him the different things he does at the firm, and how much money he makes because of it.  I know he’s trying to secure his son’s future, but the last thing I want for my Mason is to be cornered into a career he’s not going to enjoy.  I’ve tried to tell Justin that, but he always blows it off as nothing.  “It’s the family business,” he says.  “That’s why I created it, so our kids would have a secure future.  Austin can’t run things forever.”

It’s hard arguing with him about that sort of thing, so most of the time I let it go.

I let most things go, because I love Justin, I love the life we’ve created for ourselves, and I don’t want anything to spoil that.  I mean, it’s been fifteen years and we’re still together, our children haven’t turned into delinquents, and we still manage to spend quality time together as a family.  In all, I say that’s pretty good, considering.

“That’s fine Mase,” I reassure him.  “We’ll be home as soon as I can stop your father from drooling over the win.”

“Daddy’s little girl won again,” he half laughs.  “Can’t wait to hear Vic brag all night long.”

“Mason, be nice.  This is important to your sister.”

“I know, I know,” he groans.  “Soon all those trophies are going to bury her alive.”

“You’re not so bad off yourself.  You’re running out of wall space for all those certificates and ribbons.”

“At least those mean something.”

“Mason Tyler.”

“All right,” he groans.  “I’m sorry.  I’ll see you in a bit.”

He hangs up and I laugh a little.  They’ve always had a little bit of a rivalry going on.  Mason chastises Vic because he feels he’s smarter than her, and she gives it right back to him by calling him a weakling, because he doesn’t play any sports.  Sometimes it turns into a bitter fight between the two of them, and we usually have to step in and break it up, but I know it’s just sibling banter.  Austin and Davey were the same way, and now that they’re grown, I think they’re closer than ever before.  I hope that Mason and Vickie will be the same one day, when they’re old enough to appreciate the fact that they’re family.

“Hey hun!”

I snap to attention and look towards Justin.  “Yeah?”r32;

“C’mon!” He motions with a smile.  “Come down and take a picture with our winner over here!”

I do it, begrudgingly.  I mean, that’s terrible, I know.  But the thing is, we have about four hundred pictures just like the one we’re about to take, back at the house.  Justin and I are standing with Vic, holding some kind of trophy or medal.  While I’m proud of all her achievements, it’s not the best day to be late, especially when I know next weekend we’re going to be at the same kind of event for her.

I really...really, want to see my Davey.  It’s been too long, or at least that’s how it feels.  The last time we saw him was at Christmas, and now it’s June.  That’s too long for me.  He moved from New York to Boston after college, opened up a little art gallery in one of the higher end shopping districts at the suggestion of a few friends.  Justin even financed the place.  His art really is very good, even Justin would agree and that’s saying a lot since the guy is one of the biggest art snobs ever.  He’s built up a solid client base, and has been making a good living for himself out there.  I’m so proud of how independent he’s become as an adult...we both are.  For Christmas he painted Justin and I this fabulous abstract portrait, and it’s hanging over the fireplace right now.  Davey made sure to use colors that accented our grand room, so it fit in perfectly.  I love when we have company and people ask me about it.  It makes me proud to tell them that my son is the artist.  One day, I hope more people can appreciate Davey’s paintings in big museums all around the world.

If he keeps going at the pace he’s been telling me about, I wouldn’t be surprised if my wish came true in just a couple of years.

We take a couple of pictures, and the coach takes another ten minutes to talk to Justin about the state championship next weekend before we finally head out to the car.  I walk quickly, while Justin and Vic lag behind, talking and laughing about the days events.  They’re oblivious to the fact that I’m in a hurry because my other sons are coming to the house, and it almost makes me angry, but then I take a deep breath, and tell myself that I’m overreacting.  That I’ll see them soon enough.

“Coach says there’s going to be some scouts at State next weekend,” Justin says, once we’ve been driving for a little bit.

“Yeah,” Vic says, with a tired yawn.  “Not that it matters.”

Silence.

r32;God, do we have to get on the subject right at this minute?

“What do you say Ab?” Justin smirks at me.  “Let’s see what happens next week.  If the scouts are interested...maybe...maybe she can try camp for a couple of months.”

“I thought I already said no,” I laugh.  “I mean, we’ve had this discussion already, too many times.  She has to focus on school.  If she was pulling grades like Mason, maybe.  But she’s not.”

I see Vic roll her eyes through the rearview mirror.  

“It’s pointless, Daddy.  Just never mind.  Maybe I won’t even go to State.”

“What?” He scoffs as he glances back in the mirror at her.  “Of course you’re gonna go.  Your mother and I will talk about this, okay?”  

He looks at me.  His gaze is intimidating, and I know what that means.  It means he’s determined to get his way, and since he’s never this way with me, I know he probably will.

But I just can’t focus on fucking gymnastics camp right now.  “Fine, we’ll talk about it,” I huff.

Justin smiles.

I see Austin’s convertible parked in the driveway when we pull up, and I immediately forget why I was frustrated when Justin parks the car.  

“My boys,” I squeal, as I get out of the car.  Vic quickly runs towards the house, letting out an excited screech when she opens the door and is greeted by Austin.  

Justin pecks me on the cheek once we get out of the car and snakes an arm around me.  “Sorry if I got excited before.  She’s just so good, Abbey.  I mean, her coach is saying that...”

“Justin, let’s just talk about it later,” I whisper, and kiss him on the mouth.  “Okay?”r32;

He nods.  “Can’t wait to see this kid,” He laughs as he guides me towards the house.  “He promised me some new art.”

I roll my eyes.

“Hey Aus.” Justin smiles and pats his brother on the shoulder as we walk through the door.  “Where’s our guest of honor?”

He stares at us for a moment, and I don’t hesitate to give him a soft kiss on the cheek.  There’s a look in his eyes that I’m not sure about.  He seems confused, and frightened all at once.  “Austin?  You okay?”

“I...yeah...Davey’s in the kitchen with the kids.”

“So how’s this date of his?” Justin winks.  “Hot?”

“J, my god!” I swat him on the arm.

“I’m just trying to get the scoop,” he smiles at me before looking back at his brother.  “Well?”

“You’ll find out soon enough I guess.”

He walks away from us.

“What’s going on with him?” Justin says.  “He say anything to you?”r32;

I just shake my head.  I know Austin though.  I know him better than most people and I can tell that he’s extremely uncomfortable right now.  It means that this visit from Davey isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

That there’s more behind it.

Curious now, Justin grips my hand and leads the way into the kitchen.  Conner runs up to us immediately, and wraps his arms around his fathers legs.  

“Hey little man.”  Justin reaches down and ruffles our son’s bright red hair, all the while keeping his gaze focused on the people seated around the kitchen island.  Mason has his study material spread out in front of him, Vic is texting(as usual), and then I see Davey.  Davey and...

Davey and another young man seated beside him.

“Hey,” he smiles and rises from his seat.  

Of course I go over and hug him.  It feels so good to be in his arms again, and I can’t help but allow a few tears to escape my eyes as I kiss his forehead and cheeks.  He still lets me, without getting embarrassed, and it’s one of the things I love most about my son.  

“Who’s this?” Justin speaks up after a moment, referring to Davey’s friend.  “Do you work with Davey in the gallery?”

“Oh, this is Tim.”  Davey says, pulling away from me so he can nudge his friend a little bit.  

His friend stands up nervously.  My gaze immediately reverts itself over to Austin.

He’s looking at the floor.

“Justin.”  My husband smiles slightly and shakes hands with Tim, who can barely seem to look him in the eye.  “I’m Davey’s older brother, and this is my wife, Abbey.”

“Yes, um, David has told me a lot about you.  It’s nice to finally meet you all.  I’ve been hearing wonderful things.”

I look at Davey once more, and that’s all it takes to confirm my suspicions.  I know that look on his face.  It’s one I’ve seen a million times before on Justin’s, whenever he’s looking at me.  It’s one that tells me Davey cares about him a great deal.

So that must mean...

“Tim is my boyfriend,” Davey says, his head held high as he says it more to Justin than to myself.  “I thought it was about time that I told you all what I’ve been up to.”

Everybody stares at him.  Well, except for Justin.  He’s making this weird, raspy breathing sound.  It’s telling me he’s in shock.

But hell, who could blame him?