It’s later than I thought it would be when I finally pull my car into the garage, but I know Abbey will understand.  I needed this night out with my brothers and their counterparts.  A night to get to know Tim even better, and I guess...find out what’s up with Austin and Kristy too.  I wish I could have taken my wife with me, but I knew she wouldn’t have gone.  For one, we have Braeden and Jessica at the house, and for another...our eight year old needs adult supervision most of the time.  He’s like this little tornado.  If you let him run amuck he’ll knock over everything in his path.  It’s not his fault of course, he’s just a kid and he tries to be careful, but I’d rather keep my priceless material possessions in one piece.

Austin and Kristy ended up getting stuck in traffic on their way to dinner, so I decided to talk Tim up a little bit before I became distracted by Austin.  He’s a business man too, owns a small chain of restaurants in one of Boston’s more prominent tourist districts, and has done very well.  Learning about his business reassured me a little, told me that he wasn’t after Davey’s money or anything like that.  It was strange...I began to forget about my labels for him, about him being gay.  When you push all that aside, he’s a really cool, smart guy.

I guess...I guess if I had to pick a guy for Davey to be with, it would be him.  Hell, we even started talking about the wedding, as weird as it was.  For the first time, I was actually comfortable with the idea of it, and could feel myself getting excited that Davey was going to start that next part of his life, normal or not.  They want a fall ceremony, and of course I told them I would spare no expense.  I wanted to call a wedding coordinator for them, but Davey...I think he’s still a little timid about his family being involved in this.  He told me he would think about the coordinator, so I backed down.  Then Austin showed up, and we immediately got lost in what’s been going on in his world.  

I noticed that Kristy was glowing, and smiling a lot more than I’m used to.  Sure, she moved out here to be closer to my brother, and Abbey and I have always known they’ve had a thing for each other since they were kids, but Austin never wanted to commit, even after she moved here.  They seemed a lot closer tonight as they talked to us.  Austin would put his arm around her at some points while he was laughing with Davey and Tim too, and by the time the dinner ended, I was convinced that if they aren’t secretly engaged now...they’re going to be really soon.

I know Abbey will freak out if that happens.  Kristy is the only woman she’s ever approved of when it comes to Austin’s love life, and I’m sure she’ll push really hard to get them married as quickly as possibly when the time comes.

As for Trace, I’m just not sure how he’ll react.  He’s never said it to me, but I always suspected he wasn’t thrilled when she moved out here.  That’s his little girl, and he probably felt like he was losing her.  I’ve tried to keep him updated, but Austin caught onto that at some point, and started being secretive about his relationship with Kristy.  I dropped it, stopped asking questions, but I know I won’t be able to hold back for much longer.  If they’re getting married we need to know...

I mean, I hope they don’t elope or something.  Trace would kill Austin.  Hell, I would kill him.  I need to sit down with him, really sit down with my brother the next time we’re alone and ask him to tell me what’s going on.  He’s like me...if you get in him cornered he caves in like a little wimp.

Next week I’ll focus on those issues, though.  This weekend, I have to put all my energy into surviving Conner’s birthday party.  Between the clown, the bounce house, the magician, and the twenty some odd kids from his class running around my yard, I’ll be lucky if Abbey and I don’t lose our minds by the end of it all.

I’ll take on the challenge though, just like I do every year, because I love my son.

The garage door slides closed behind me as I turn the car off, and I silently make my way into the house.  It’s almost one, which means my children are in bed, and if I wake up Conner, I know Abbey will crush my balls the first chance she gets.  It takes me twenty minutes to get up the staircase because of this, and I let out a small sigh when I finally reached the top.  Normally I’d have to tiptoe to the end of the hall to avoid waking up the kids, but when I see the soft light glowing from Mason’s partially open doorway, I know he’s still awake...probably studying.

Shit.

I was supposed to help him with his calculus.

Abbey didn’t remind me, gave me a pass, because of everything that’s gone on this week.  I know that. Otherwise she would have chewed my ass out when I called her earlier, told me I better get home so our son wouldn’t think I don’t care about him.  It’s crappy, but I admit...I don’t dote on Mason as much as the other kids.  He’s always been the self sufficient one.  The one who could entertain himself when Vic was throwing a fit, or when Conner was a baby and I had to help Abbey with him and control Vic at the same time.  He’s always been a little closer with his mother too, and while it’s crappy, it’s something I’ve always swept to the side.  My relationship with him, at times, seems so...professional.  I give him advice about school, and about taking over the business.  Our idea of spending real quality time together these days is when I bring him to the office with me...

I could be doing more, but...I get so distracted between Vic’s gymnastics schedule, Conner, Abbey, and overseeing the business, I don’t make it a priority.

And I should.

I pass by Conners bedroom before I reach Mason’s, and open the door gently so as not to wake him.  The room is dark, except for the soft glow of his nightlight next to the bed.  I smile a little as I creep into the room, and kiss him gently on the forehead.  He turns slightly, sighs, but doesn’t wake.  I find myself staring at him for a good amount of time, thinking about how much fun we have, and how boring our lives would be without him.  Even though he was more of a surprise than anything else, he was the perfect addition to our family, and I know Abbey wasn’t ready to stop having babies, even though she tried to pretend she was.

I slip out of Conner’s room quietly, and pull the door closed, before walking the few feet to Mason’s door.  I knock gently.  “Mase...you up?”

No answer.

I push the door open further, and can’t help but let out a gentle laugh when I see him there at his desk, passed out cold with his books and notes surrounding him.  He does this more than I’d like him to, but I understand.  He’s an overachiever at school...a perfectionist, probably they way I would have been if my childhood had been a little different.  I’m happy for him though.  Happy I can give him everything that I couldn’t have when I was his age.  I glance around the room, admiring the achievements adoring his walls.  So many certificates, awards, and trophies...just because he tries hard.  He’ll do great in college, and I can’t wait for him to take over my business one day.  I know he’ll be a financial wizard, probably even better than me...and that’s good.  I want better for him.  I want his life to be easier than mine was.

“Mase.”  I go over to him, and shake him gently.  “Hey...buddy.”

“Mm.”  He groans and turns his head slightly.  “Five minutes, ma.”r32;

I laugh.  “It’s not time for school yet.  Come on, get in bed.  You’re exhausted.”

His eyes crack open, and when he realizes its me, he quickly shakes the sleep out of him and sits up at the desk again.  “One more chapter.  I have to do well on this test.”

“I know you’re mad at me.  You can say it, Mason.  I completely forgot about studying.”

He shrugs.  “It’s fine.”

“How about tomorrow?”

“Test’s tomorrow.”

“Oh...well...maybe we can just hang out after you get home.  How about that?”

“No...it’s fine, Dad.  You don’t have to make this up to me.”

“But I want to.”

Then he looks at me, and it’s a cold look, a demeaning one.  “How about you start remembering the plans you make with me the first time around.”

I sigh.  “That’s not really fair, Mason.  There’s a lot going on this week.”

“You’ve never let me make excuses for my mistakes.”  He glares at me a little, and gets up from the desk chair.  “Every time I’ve fucked up, or been late...or whatever, you lecture me.  But it’s completely fine for you to mess up, right?”

“No...”

“Look, I know Vic is more important.  It’s always been that way.”  He throws his covers aside and slides into his bed.  “It doesn’t even matter.  I’m over it, and I need to get some sleep.”

“Mase...”

He flicks off his light.  “Good night.”

I open my mouth to say something else, to prove him wrong, but something stops me.  I guess it’s too late, and I’m too tired to get into a battle of who’s right and who’s wrong right now, but I know I’m going to have to face this thing with him at some point.  We need to talk and I need to get to the bottom of his feelings.

I just don’t know when we’ll be able to do that, because he’s angry and well...

I know I’m going to get busy again too.

I leave his room, pull the door closed, and try to put him to the back of my mind.  I stop at Vics door, and peer inside at her quickly, smiling when I see her fast asleep in bed.  She’s not the most sound sleeper, so I don’t dare enter her room to risk waking her up, just gently pull the door closed again, and finally head to my own bedroom.  The scent of her...the love of my life, fills my nostrils as I enter, and I can’t help but smile.

She’s asleep, and since I don’t have the heart to wake her, I strip down to my boxers instead, and slide into bed with her, making sure to wrap my arms around her like I always do.  She shifts slightly, and mumbles in her sleep, but I’m sure she’s not waking up anytime soon, so I concentrate on drifting off myself.

“How was dinner?”

Guess she wasn’t out cold after all.

I smile.  “It was good...great actually, but we can talk in the morning.”

“I wish I could wait til the morning, J, but if I don’t talk to you now I’m going to lie awake all night thinking about it.”

A slight twinge of fear passes through me.  Abbey never talks like this unless there’s something wrong, and I can’t even remember the last time she had to lie awake thinking about anything.  The truth is, I take care of our issues before they have a chance to have an impact on Abbey’s happiness.  “What’s the matter? Is it Braeden?”

“Partially but...that’s not what I’m most worried about.  We can talk about him tomorrow.  Mason is having some issues too, but I know we can deal with them.”

“Yeah...Mason just gave me an earful.”  I kiss the back of her neck lovingly.  “Kid thinks I hate him or something.”

But she doesn’t acknowledge my comment.

“Babe, has Vic said anything to you lately about being tired?”

I sit up slightly, the concern in her voice alarming me entirely too much.  It’s not like her.  She’s never sounded this worried about any of our kids since that time Mason got stung by a bee when he was just a baby.  Luckily for us, none of them have had a serious health issue since that time.  Sure, they’ve gotten the flu, Strep Throat...things like that, but nothing that couldn’t be cured with some antibiotics and rest.  “Not to me but...she’s been focusing really hard on State.  I was expecting her to get a little drained.  She always does when there’s a big competition like this, plus she’s all worked up about Florida.”r32;

“I don’t know.”

“So...do you think she’s sick or something?”

“She slept til eleven thirty today.  Jess took her shopping around three, and then she came home and passed out about an hour later.  The last couple of weeks she’s been coming home from school and gymnastics, and passing out almost right away.  Maybe I’m just worrying too much, but if that school doesn’t require a physical before she goes, I think we should have her get one anyway.”

“It does require a physical.  I made that appointment for her just the other day.  They can get her in Monday morning.”

She lets out a heavy sigh.  “Good.”

“I’ll...I’ll talk to her about it tomorrow,” I say, trying to hide the fact that I’m just as scared as my wife is.  “I’m sure it’s just fatigue, Ab.  I’ll get her on some better vitamins and a higher protein diet. Don’t worry.”  I pull her close to me.  “It’s fine.”

“Yeah...”

But I know she doesn’t believe me.

And...and I hate it...

I hate that I’m scared right now.  Scared when it’s probably just a little fatigue.  I don’t know...it’s like I can sense something is wrong, just like Abbey can.  

I don’t sleep.

“DADDY!”

Mason jumps on me at quarter after seven, and I hear Abbey groaning as he giggles and rolls in between us.  Normally I’d be laughing along with him, tickling and wrestling with him in the bed...driving my wife crazy.

But not this morning.

“Hey Big Red.”  I smile and ruffle his hair as I give him a kiss on the top of the head.  “Watch some cartoons with momma, okay?”  I flick the TV on and flip to my sons favorite channel.

Abbey sits up in bed.

We stare at each other.

“I’m going to...check...”r32;

She nods.  “Yeah.”

I race out of the room.  I know she gets it, and I know that right now I’m the only one that can sit down and talk to Vic about how she’s been feeling and get an honest answer out of her.  That’s how it is with us...we don’t keep secrets, we never have, that’s why we’re so close.

“Vic.”  I practically knock the door down, feel a little stupid about it, but when I see her there in bed, clearly still passed out, I forget about everything else.  I just go to her, sit down on the edge of the bed and gently stroke her long blonde hair.  “Vickie.”

“Hm...Daddy?”  She turns and cracks her eyes open.  “Hey,” she smiles.

“H-hey.”  I force a smile.  “Can we talk for a sec?”

Her smile fades.  “What happened? Did mom say something else about camp?”

I laugh a little.  “No...no it’s not about that.”

“Oh.”  She cocks her head to the side.  “Well, what’s wrong Daddi-o? You look like somebody just knocked the wind out of you.”

She’s right.  “How’ve you been feeling?”

She shrugs.  “Okay I guess.  State’s been taking a lot of energy out of me.”

“Mom says you’ve been sleeping a lot more than normal.”

She rolls her eyes.  “God, she has you in on that whole thing too? Dad...it’s nothing okay? I’m just catching up on my rest.”

“Are you sure?” My voice cracks a little.

God, I’m such a wimp when it comes to my only daughter.

It’s just the thought of something being wrong...I just don’t know how I would be able to handle that.  

I doubt I could handle life without my little girl.

“Dad, I’m fine.”  She laughs and throws her arms around me.  “Really.  I don’t have to go to school today, my grade in that class was high enough so I don’t have to take the final, so I was going to go for a run this morning and get some extra time in at the gym later.  I swear.”

It makes me smile for her, genuinely this time.  “Oh yeah?”

She holds up her fingers.  “Scouts honor.”

“Well, you have to get a physical before camp anyway,” I nod.  “We’ll see what he has to say.”

She groans.  “Da-ad.”

“I don’t want to hear it,” I chuckle, confident that she’ll be just fine.  “Want a running buddy?”

“You have time?”

“I always have time for you.”  I kiss her cheek.  “Get dressed.  I’ll meet you downstairs.”

“Okay.”  

She smiles at me once more, before getting up and going to her dresser.  I get up too, about to head downstairs so she can get dressed in privacy.

Then everything seems to just...stop.

Vic sneezes, which normally wouldn’t cause me alarm, but when I see her pull her hands away from her face, I’m completely horrified.  The blood is just..everywhere, dripping down her face and onto her hands.  Naturally she just stares at me, shocked, not knowing what’s happening to her.

I rush to her, help her hold her hands over her nose as the blood continues to drip down her face.  I’m shaking, I can feel it, but somehow I manage to get her to the bathroom so she can lean over the sink.  I run the water, rubbing her back gently as she coughs, spattering droplets of blood all over the sink.  I keep asking her if it hurts, and she keeps shaking her head, but she can’t seem to stop crying, and the bleeding...it doesn’t stop either.

I just... I don’t know what to do...what to think.

“ABBEY!”

Conner runs in before she can get there though, and I curse loudly as Vic continues to whimper over the sink.  “GET OUT!” r32;r32;I’ve never screamed at my kid like this...ever.

He stares at me, his bottom lip trembling.  “Vickie...what’s wrong with Vickie?”

“Justin...” Abbey reaches the doorway, breathlessly, her eyes going wide and her face turning pale when she sees us standing over the sink.  “Oh...oh my God...what happened!"

"It just...started...”

She quickly grabs a washcloth, and tells me to go get in the car, that we have to take her to the hospital, as she shoves me aside and starts to clean the blood off our daughters face.

But I can’t move.

I can’t do anything.

I’m just terrified right now.

Someone helps me, makes me walk down the stairs...out to the car, and it’s only when I’m sitting there in the passenger seat that I realize it’s Braeden.

“I can drive us.  Jess is staying with Conner.”  He says it to me as he takes the drivers seat and turns the engine over.  Moments later I hear Abbey and Vic getting into the back of my car.

From that point on, everything else is a blur.