If you're a Justin Timberlake fan, then you would know about Danielle Ditto, Veronica Finn, Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz, and now Jessica Beil. But I bet anything, you have no clue to who I am. The name's Nicole Ramirez. But friends and family call me Nikki. I am also a former girlfriend of the mega pop star. Actually I'm more than his former girlfriend. No, we've never been married, but...you know what? I'm just going to tell you my story from the beginning. So sit back, relax, grab a box of tissues and some goodies, and enjoy the laughter, the heartache, and the tears that are known as my life. I am Justin Timberlake's...Hidden Truth.



--



December ‘93

I laid in my bed completely still, completely bored out of my mind.  With nothing but the sound of my breathing and the faint sound of the radio playing old 80s favorites.  The kind of music that I liked.  But every song they played was garbage, and I just wanted to stab myself in the ear.

Winter break was finally here, and there was nothing to do.  I rarely had any friends.  But the ones that I did have were already off on family vacations out of town.

But not me…

Not me.

“Here’s an old classic that I know you all will love…”  I heard the DJ say.

I squealed in excitement running over to my stereo, turning the volume up as loud as it could go, as the first beats to one of my favorite song blasted through the system.  It was about time.  I had been waiting at least an hour for them to play something remotely good.  Grabbing my hairbrush, that had been sitting on my vanity, I began to cure my current state of boredom with a little bit of the Queen Mother herself:  Madonna.

I see you on the street and you walk on by
You make me wanna hang my head down and cry
My desire burning inside of me
But you choose to look the other way
I’ve had to work much harder than this
For something I want don’t try to resist me.

“Open your heart to me, ba-by.  I hold the lock and you hold the key.”  I sang loudly, as the chorus picked up, in my microphone hairbrush, dancing around my room.

This was my favorite song by Madonna.  It was just so much fun to dance to and it had a really great meaning behind it.  Although I had no clue what that kind of love meant.  But it was still an amazing classic.

"Nicole Annabelle Ramirez!  Would you please turn that racket down and come down here right now!"  I heard my mother call, well more like yell, interrupting my performance.

My mother always had that kind of timing.  Sometimes, I believed she sensed me having some kind of fun and she would immediately put a stop to it.

Reluctantly, I made my way back over to my stereo, turning it completely off.  Of course she had to go and ruin my fun.  "I'm coming!"  I yelled back, tossing my hairbrush onto my dresser, and as fast as I could, I ran down the stairs to find my mother, Beverly Eustice, standing at the bottom of the stairs, with her hands on her hips waiting for me.  Her face said it all.  She was not a happy camper.  

"Yes, mother." I tried to play it off as if I didn't see the scowl that had adorned her face.

"Nicole don't play with me." She read through my feigned ignorance.  I didn't exactly know how she did that.   "What did I tell you do earlier?"  She asked, and I looked at her confused.   

Did she tell me to do something earlier?

She sighed, obviously heavily annoyed.  "Nicole, I told you to wash those dishes about twenty minutes ago."

That's right.   She did tell me that.   I completely spaced that one.  As I did with all of my other chores.  "Oh, man, I forgot.  I'm sorry, mom.  I'll go do them now."  I smiled widely at her.  Maybe she wouldn’t noticed the fact that I was already beginning to regret this.  I sucked in a deep breath and began to walk towards the kitchen, but she had quickly stopped me.  "Yes?"

She looked at me sternly. "And take out the garbage when you're done."  I groaned inward and walked...well stomped my way into the kitchen.  "And hurry up, we have to go pick up your brother from work in forty-five minutes."  I heard her yell behind me, as soon as I made it to the kitchen.

I walked up to the sink, and inhaled. Ugh!  These dishes were the ones from last night.  My mom made post roast.  It tasted great last night, but it didn’t look (or smell) so well caked on the dinnerware.  My big headed brother was supposed to do them last night when he came home from work.  He always got out of doing his fair share of the chores.  Just because he has a job.  Hey, I’m only twelve. I’m not even legal to get a worker's permit.

So, I took a deep breath, rolled up my sleeves, and dug right in.

--


It took me close to an half an hour, but I finally finished.  I washed my hands thoroughly in order to the stinky, rotten smell off of them, from when I took the garbage out.  And I realized that I lived with some smelly people. After drying my hands off, I walked into the living room to find my mom sitting on her favorite recliner, reading a self-help book. "I'm done." She then looked up at me from her book, her glasses sitting on the brim of her nose.

"Well it took you long enough.”  She removed her glasses and placed them on the small coffee table next to her.  “Maybe if you had done them when I asked, we wouldn't have had this problem."

Instead of making a fuss, like I usually did, that would usually get me in heaps of trouble, I just nodded my head in agreement.  "Yes, mam."

"Ok," she nodded herself.  “Are you ready to go?”

"Yes, mam." I repeated, and she just pursed her lips together, giving me that look.  You know what look I’m talking about.

My mom could be such a bitch to me sometimes...wait a minute.  I didn't mean that.  I take it back.  I take it back.  I love my mom to death, but sometimes she could be really mean to me.  She could be pretty mean to all of us.  Well not all of us. I felt like she favored my brother over us.  But please don't tell her I told you that.  She'd kill me.

"Alright."  She said grabbing her jacket, keys, and purse. "Let's go." She opened the door and walked out first. "Make sure you lock the door."

"Yes, mam." I said locking the door before closing it.  I was really getting tired of this.

I skipped anxiously to my side of the car and hopped in.


--


It took us fifteen minutes to arrive at one of the many jobs that my brother was currently employed.  One of his many employments resided at America's dream theme park, Disney World.  My brother was one of the characters.  I forgot what it was.  Like I really paid any attention to him anyways.  He was 22 years old and still living at home with mom.  The only thing cool about him was the fact that he could get us into Disney and Universal Studios for free.  Other than that, he was dirt to me.

And speaking of brother dearest.  Here comes the creep now.

"Hey, mom." He smiled widely, opening the passenger side of the car where I was currently sitting.

"Hey, sweetheart." She reciprocated his smile sweetly.  Her attitude had just did a complete 180.

See I told ya.

I felt his eyes boring into the side of my head, before I turned to look at him.  “What?  Why are you looking at me like a creep?”  That’s because he is one.

"Move, Booger!"  He said, calling by the childhood nickname he gave me when I was two.  

No, 'hi' or 'how you doing?'

Nothing?

I told you he is a creep.

"Hey, to you too."  Sarcasm dripped in my voice, before he reached over and unbuckled my seatbelt.  Was he on crack?

"Hey, now move."  He told me, grabbing me by my elbow, trying to pull me out of the car.  Seriously, what is wrong with him?

"NO!”  I yanked my arm free from his grip.  “I was here first."

"I so don't care. Eldest up front. Boogers in the back."  He reached for my elbow again, and I slapped his hand away.  I was not giving up my seat.

"No."  I stood my ground.  He was not taking my seat.  And that’s that.

"Nikki, why don't you let your brother sit up front?"  My mother interveened.  Was she serious?  She was gonna make me give up my seat anyway?  Ugh!  This was so not fair!

I turned back to look at my brother, who smiled and stuck his tongue out.  I wanted to rip it right out of his mouth.

I then turned to my mom.  "But, mommy..." I whined.  Again, it was not fair that I had to give up my seat to this loser, who was capable of sitting in the backseat.  I didn’t know why he had to be so difficult.

"Nikki..."  She proceeded to give me that you-better-get-your-butt-in-that-backseat-or-I’ll-slap-the-taste-out-of-your-mouth look.

I smacked lips together in annoyance.  "Man!"  I reluctantly got up from my comfortable seat, and got out of the car. "You are such a loser."  I said to my brother, who still had a smug look across his face.

"Booger."  He bit back.

"Midget."  I threw back.

"Still, wearing your training bra?"  He pulled on the strap of my pink bra that had fallen down off of my shoulder

"Shut-up!" I slapped his hand off of me.  I tried to walk away, but he stuck his foot out, tripping me.  "Ma!"  I yelled, as he quickly hopped in the car, and locked the door, before I had a chance to get to him.

"Hey, hurry up and get in.  Kick-off starts in twenty minutes."  He yelled at me through the now cracked window.

Nobody cared about your stupid football game.  I know I didn’t.

I was about to open the door, but a crazy idea popped into my head.  He wanted to trip me and get a away with it.  I don't think so.  I was going to mess up his game time.  

"Mommy, I have to pee."  I said opening the door to the backseat, and sticking my head in.  I put on the puppy dog eyes to sweeten the pot a little.  I then heard the sound of my brother’s lips smack together.

"Nikki, you can wait until we get home." My mother said.

"But mommy," I whined, "I really, really have to go."

"Nikki..."

"Ma..." I mocked her.  “I really do have to go.  I can't wait until we get home.  It's too far away.  And I don't want to mess up the brand-new carpet you put in here."  I decided to amp up the acting by doing the pee-pee dance.

"Chris, give your sister your pass, so she can use the bathroom." She said quickly.

Yes, it was working.

"But ma," He protested.  He knew I was lying, just to get back at him.

"That child is not going to mess up my brand new carpet. Give her your pass."

"She's faking.  She's only doing this to get back at me for tripping her." Ahh my brother knew me all too well.

It's a good thing my mother didn't...I think. "Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick!" Ooh, she used his full name.  She really meant business. "Give her your damn pass.

Chris smacked his lips in annoyance again, as he reluctantly handed me the pass that was hanging from his neck.

"Thank you." I, all but snatched it from his hands and shut the car door.

Chris then rolled down the window all of the way, as I was walking away.  "You've got two minutes.  And please try not to get lost."

"I'm not going to get lost."  I yelled back, waving him off.  I have a keen since of direction, ok.

He rolled his eyes and rolled up the window.

--

I'm lost.

I told you my brother knew me too well.

I remembered taking a right at a sign that read, Restroom, This Way, but I saw no bathroom.  I spotted a group of kids around my age to left and figured, maybe they could help me and tell me how to get out of this place.

As I was walking toward them, I hadn't known my shoe was untied.  That is until I stepped on one of the laces, and it caused me to go flying face forward into the ground. The other kids must have saw it, because all I heard was laughing.

Great! How frickin' embarrassing!

Now how was I suppose to get out of here?   I couldn’t talk to them now.  I'm going to be known as the girl who tripped herself.  Maybe if I just lay here for the rest of my life, this moment would just go away.

"Hey, you need some help?" I saw a hand reach down towards me.

"Thanks."  I said grabbing the hand, and I was helped pulled to my feet.  I wiped my hands on the back of my jean, trying to get rid of the dirt that was on them.   Once I looked up and my eyes connected with his, I was speechless.  

He was the cutest boy I had ever seen in my life. Much cuter than Brandon Walsh.  He had this thick curly brownish-blonde hair, that was sticking out of a red bandana.  And those eyes.  Those baby blue eyes.  I could have gotten lost in those eyes.  I almost did. 

And then he did the most amazing thing...

He smiled at me!

I think I'm in love.

"Are you ok?"  He spoke, and all I could do was nod.  "You took a pretty nasty fall." I couldn't say anything.

"My name's Justin."  He stuck his handout for me to shake.  And still, I couldn't say a word. "And you would be?"  He smiled again.

What's my name?  What the heck is my name?  "Uh..." I began, trying to rack through my dead brain. "I'm...uh...Nikki...that's right.  My name is Nikki."  I finally shook his hand, and he laughed.

"Nice to meet you, Nikki."  He sounded like he had an accent.  Like he was from the south; like Texas or something.

"Uh...thanks again...for helping me."  I smiled shyly, tucking my hands into my back pockets.

"No, problem."  He smiled again.  I wish he would stop doing that.  He was making the butterflies in my stomach flutter. "Hey, look, Nikki, I have to get back now."  He said pointing to the group of the same kids standing around.

Oh, no, don’t go.  We just met.

"Ok."

"It was nice meeting you, Nikki."

I nodded. "It was nice meeting you, Justin."

"Bye."  He waved and began to walk back to the group of kids.

Still in a daze, watching him walk away, I had forgotten all about why I was here in the first place.

And then…

Wait a minute, I was still lost.  I needed to get back before my brother kills me.

"Hey, Justin," I called out to him, and he stopped in his tracks, turning around, "I'm kind of lost.  How do I get out of here?"

He chuckled, and walked back up to me. "Um...you see that building right there with the sign that says, Exit," I looked up and there it was, "that's where you go." Great now, he was gonna think I am clumsy and stupid.

"Oh.”  I wanted to slap myself across the forehead.  “Well thanks again."

"No, problem. And you might want to tie those, " he pointed to my tennis shoes that were still untied, "we don't want you to have another accident.  I wouldn't want you to hurt that pretty face."  As soon as he said the words, I immediately blushed. "Bye, again, Nikki."

"Bye." I waved giddily, as he walked off.

As soon as he made it back to his friends, he looked back at me smiled, and waved.  I waved back.  Now, I know I was definitely in love.

Wait, which way did he say again?

--

"You got lost, didn't you?" Was the first thing my brother said, as soon as I made it back to the car, and hopped in.  

I just ignored his stupidity, because I was still smiling.   I had never felt this way before about a boy.  I mean I had crushes before, but none like this.  He made my stomach turn in knots, but in a good way.  A very good way.

My dorky brother turned back to look at me. "What are you smiling for?"

"Nothing.  Leave me alone, Goof boy."  I spat back.  He was not going to ruin this moment for me.

"I am Plu-to, not Goofy."  He corrected me on which Disney character he was playing, while yelling at me.  Again, I didn’t really care.

"Pluto, Goofy, they're both still dogs. Which you are."

"Shut-up."  Was the best comeback he could come up with.  I rest my case.

He turned back to face the front, and I started smiling again.  Looking out of the window, I started thinking about the boy with the baby blues -blushing- as my mother drove off the Disney parking lot.