There's five of us crammed into the living room at Justin's for the next few days and I guess 'Drya had a crazy day today, she's snoring next to me in a sitting position with her head on my shoulder. I catch a glimpse of her diary out of the corner of my eye, growing more curious by the moment and Justin's awake reading a sleeping Christina's, silently. "J, hand me 'Drya's," I request, pointing at the holographic peace sign/flower notebook that has an elastic to keep it shut.
"Why should I?" he whispers his retort.
"I'll tell the girls."
He hands me the small notebook and I open it, the third entry catching my attention at once. 'Mija, I met this boy named Josh. He has brown hair and ocean blues, such a sweet boy. *Sigh* I hope it's just an innocent crush. He came to spend time with us and Chris sent Tay-Tay to interrupt us, needless to inform that he had failed cuz it backfired. Haha! Maybe Josh enjoys my company? Or likes my personality and sense of humor? No clue, but he somehow got me hooked.'
Another one is dated around my birthday almost three years ago, nearly two months after we met. 'He likes me! He told me so! I'm scared to try anything, I'm too young and he most likely has more experience. I'm far from ready to be with anyone.'
Her journal entries are short and sweet, right to the point. One is around her birthday last year, this one catching my curiosity and I copy it into my notebook, letter by letter to have it translated later. Another entry grabs me violently and I read it, it's from just before Christmas this past year. 'I told Alex yes today, he seems rough and tough, yet he's a Teddy bear. December 7 is our day and his friend's little brother's birthday.' Does Chris know? Is Beverly aware? She's either active or in a relationship. 'We shared our first besos today. We had stood in front of the mall and our lips met. He makes me feel alive in a strange way. He's so good to me. Wish us the best of luck in the relationship department!' She took two years to get over the break in her heart I had caused. I sigh, feeling horribly for hurting her so badly. It's near midnight and she has a few more days of vacation, a visit to the mall around ten tomorrow morning to introduce the three of us to her boyfriend. I now know the guy's name, but not what he looks like and I don't like going into anything blind. Every little bit of information helps ease my nerves.
I read a couple more entries and my anxiety level drops again (just a tiny bit). 'Alex came over today, saying happy half-birthday and we've only been together for just over a week. He brought me a Teddy bear and a single multi colored rose, he even MADE a card! He had his friend draw a Scarlet Macaw with an open wing, peeking around it on the front and facing out with both wings open, its bill open. It's beautiful and thoughtful. This just might work out for the better side of things.'
The last one is from a little over a week ago. 'Talked to Alex about Josh, he says he may have run into his cast mates Ryan and Tony and Christina. I'm good friends with them all. I pulled out my old photo album, Alex seeing the pictures I have from when we first moved to Orlando and told him the stories behind each one. His favorite is the one I took of Chris and Josh being shoved in the pool fully clothed the week before Josh's birthday, before he told me he liked me and close to a month before he broke the first piece of mi corazón. Now I must focus on Alex and our beautiful relationship, he has treated me well and spends a lot of time with me when we both have time.' I toss her small notebook back into her bag Justin had been holding open and try to get some sleep.
Of course I'm the last one to wake up, I had fallen asleep last and love to sleep. I'm still sitting up, having sat in a corner when 'Drya had come over to look at the photos I was going through and she was snoring after a few minutes. "Josh, you plan on getting ready soon? I wanna get going, please," she requests politely.
I groan, rolling my head to work out the kinks as best as I can and drag my body off the floor to grab a set of clothes from my bag. I shower and scarf my eggs while she calls her aunt, needing me to talk to her in order to go with us. "Hello?" I greet her, yawning.
"Joshua, are you going with them to the mall?"
"Yes, I'm driving them there."
"She tells me you'll all be meeting Alexander?"
"Who is he, if you don't mind me asking?" 'Drya covers her face with her hands, clearly embarrassed.
"He's her boyfriend. He is so sweet to her and treats her good."
"How long have they been together?"
Hey, I have to try to protect her if she's going to be a friend of mine. "Just over two months."
"Oh, okay. We're going to be heading out in a few minutes."
"Make sure she and Alexander don't do anything wrong."
"I will," I say, seeing the three girls whispering near the door and know immediately who they're discussing. "Anyone else have a phone call to make?"
"I have one more person to call before we head out," 'Drya announces. She dials a number, greeting the caller when they pick up and speaks in pure Spanish. "Ok, meet in the food court in twenty, Alexander. Bye. Te amo." She hangs up, looks at me with a smile and tells me she's ready to go.
The girls take up the whole back seat as they whisper and gossip during the ride, leaving Justin and I to our own devices. We try to decipher what they might be talking about when Britney asks, "Did you two kiss?!"
'Drya just has to quiet Britney and Christina, answering in a hushed voice as we pull into the food court parking lot. I just now realize that she's wearing jeans that appear to have been painted onto her hips, ass and thighs, flaring out barely above her knee, a tight tank top that hardly covers her barely there bumps on her chest and wedge heels. She has lip gloss on and her hair is up in a clip, something she could easily take out to cover hickeys. Shit, it's too late to have her go change into something a little less appealing to every teen boy in the world. Justin licks his lips as he looks at her, comfortably sitting between our two female cast mates and chatting away without realizing that we've parked. "We're here," I inform them.
They jump out of the uncovered back end of the jeep, giggling at Justin for staring at 'Drya. She struts by him, sliding a finger across his chin and coos, "Pictures last longer, Justin."
"Cassandrya," I growl, giving her a warning.
"You're not Christopher!" she bites, her teeth clenched together and fire in her eyes.
"Don't even start, we can leave just as fast as we got here."
"Joshua Scott, you are not a Kirkpatrick; you're a Chasez," she reminds me, hands perched on her voluptuous hips and her face scrunches up in a way Heather's used to when she had an attitude with mom and dad.
"Get your attitude in check or we leave."
I spot a guy around her age walking toward us, dressed like a rebel bad ass in a jean jacket, a black shirt, jeans and sneakers (it reminds me of 'The Outsiders'). I notice the sunglasses and backwards ball cap, not liking him in seconds. He casually walks up behind her, wraps his arms around her and coos, "Hey, baby," in her ear. I feel my blood begin to boil.
"Alex, hey," she greets him, spinning around to press her lips to his for a few seconds and turns back. She points to each of us, saying our names. "This is Josh, Justin, Brit, and Christina. Say hi people, it's Alexander!" She does that flirtatious giggle, resting her head on his shoulder and calms down quickly.
"Te amo, boricua." Why is he calling her that? Is Chris Spanish? Is she? What does it mean?
I may not know what he said, but it made her smile and my anger grows. "Te amo, papi."
I know 'papi' is what Spanish speaking girls call their boyfriend or male lovers. "One question-" I begin to ask, interrupted by Alex.
"She is still innocent."
"We haven't gone beyond this and kissing, he said no skirts."
"How old are you?" I ask, rounding the hood of my jeep as we begin to walk into the mall.
"I'm 15. I act, sing and dance. I go to the high school."
Not too much older than her. I see this semi muscular tall blonde kid in a jersey and swim trunks with shades on and a smaller version of him standing by the entrance, noting the other Spanish guy in jeans and an olive green shirt and see they all have sneakers on. She runs off to hug the other three people, saying hi to them. "Nick, hey! AC, sup, lil dude?" she greets, hugging the taller blonde and doing a high five handshake with the smaller one. She puts her arms around the Spanish guy's neck, kisses each cheek and says, "Como estas, Howie?"
"Bien, y tú, mija?"
"Hanging in there, passing everything. Gotta make it work for me."
"Yeah, that you do, boricua." He smiles at her like a little sister. I might be able to get along with this one, the two white boys look younger than her. The smallest looks like he's about the size of a first grader and the other looks no older than 11.
I fall into step with the ones she called Nick and Howie, the AC kid keeping pace with her and Alex while the two of them hold hands, walking in the direction of the Toys R Us. "What does boricua mean? And mija? And papi? Is she Spanish? Is he Spanish? I'm lost here," I prattle off.
I notice Britney, Christina and Justin are up with her, laughing and talking like nothing new happened. "She is Puerto Rican and has distant relatives that are from Mexico and Spain and Uruguay, but has learned the Puerto Rican dialect of Spanish growing up. He's Cuban and has picked up three dialects of Spanish-Cuban, Puerto Rican and Spain Spanish. Boricua means Puerto Rican; papi means baby when she addresses him or boy or man if she's talking to you or I; mija means girl."
"Are you Spanish?"
He laughs at my honest question, answering after his quick chuckle. "I'm Puerto Rican and Irish."
"I'm Josh, some people call me JC," I introduce myself properly, offering my hand to him.
"I'm Howie, some people call me D," he says, taking hold of my hand with his and shaking it.
"Who's the shrimp?" I question, nodding at the small fry walking with 'Drya.
"That's my little brother, Aaron. My name's Nick." The tall blonde informs me, offering his hand.
I take hold and shake it. "Nice to be properly introduced," I reply with a smirk.
"Who are the three walking with her and AJ?" Nick asks.
"The platinum blonde girl is Christina, the dirty blonde girl is Britney and the curly top is Justin."
"Why does she seem so tense and rebellious toward you and Chris, but nobody else?"
"I think it's because of the falling out she and I had, we just recently began talking and hanging out again after a couple years," I explain.
"She will get even for what you did to upset her so much," Nick points out the obvious.
"I'm aware, I just wonder when."
"Cassandrya!" Howie scolds her.
"Pero, pero, pero," she pouts.
"No, mija," he enforces.
"Hooooowwwwiiiiieeeeeee," she whines, giving the puppy dog eyes and kind of bouncing where she stands in front of the video games.
I start to reach for my wallet, willing to get it for her because it's fairly cheap. "Don't get it for her. Chris always sends her with fifty bucks," he informs me.
I smile, too familiar with this game as hers fades away once she realizes I know what she's up to. "Boca grande," she mutters.
"She pulled this 'I don't have money' thing for three months before Nick caught her when she dropped her small bag."
I notice she's wearing a small black leather bag decorated with peace signs, smiley faces and various names in different colors on her back. "Does she keep her diary in there?"
"I'm not sure, but I do know she refers to it as her bag of secrets or bolsa de secretos."
"Howard!" she growls at him, upset he told me.
"Cassandrya," he fires back, glare included.
Wow, he's good at getting her to quit. I could stand to take some lessons from Howie. "Are you the oldest or something? You have the tone and the glare down."
"I'm the youngest, but I've seen my brother and sisters get in trouble enough to know."
"I'm going to Alex's for a bit, I will call my aunt when I get there and his mom will drop me off or he'll walk me home," she tells me, a few hours later after sharing lunch with all of us.
"Or you can call Justin's and I'll pick you up."
She sneers and rolls her eyes. "Or not and do it my way."
"Casandrya Jaylyn!" Howie scolds her before I could react.
"We should get going, mami," Alex tells her, drumming his fingers on her hip. He's currently standing behind her, his hands on her hips and his face next to hers.
"Sé que. See you later," she says, quickly embracing us and pressing a kiss to a cheek for each of us.
"Call me when you get there."
"I'll call Justin's, dad," she retorts.
Howie, Nick and Aaron accompany them outside and jump into a black Pontiac Grand Prix. It looks like a boat. I watch Howie wave to me, trying to reassure me that she will be back safely and she tosses her head back, laughing I assume.
"Are we heading home, well, to Justin's?" Britney asks.
"Yeah, load up," I sigh. Almost the whole way home I don't say a word, too many thoughts racing through my mind and too many emotions flowing through me to think or feel straight. I'm confused about why she's changed so much, I know it's part of being a teenager. I'm worried she might do something that can hurt her. I'm scared something will happen to her. "Any one of you catch Nick, Howie and Aaron's ages?" I ask, glancing in my rearview at the girls and beside me at Justin.
Christina grins, bobbing her head to confirm she had. "Nick just turned 13, Aaron will be six at the end of the year and Howie will be 20 a couple weeks after you turn 17," she informs me, resting her forearms on each seat up front and leaning forward.
"Howie wouldn't touch her," I conclude.
"She won't touch Nick, at least I don't think she would," Britney tells us.
"She most likely won't. I'm just over 18 months younger and she won't even consider it," Justin complains.
"Nick's..." Christina says, calculating the difference between 'Drya's birthday and Nick's.
"7 1/2 months younger, so he stands a fighting chance of possibly getting with her," Britney finishes.
"What?! How much younger can a guy be to stand a minute chance?" I demand.
"He can be up to 9 months younger or 5 years older," Christina says, a smile creeping from one corner of her mouth to the other.
"Is this kid her first boyfriend?"
"Yeah, they seem pretty serious."
The rest of the time between the mall and arriving at Justin's, I keep replaying lunch in my mind. She sat comfortably in front of AJ at the end of the table in a chair and talked like she normally would, laughing and just so casual about it all. She and AJ had kissed here and snuggled there, having close to no shame about their relationship or PDA in the middle of Pizza Hut. It makes me wonder what they do when they're alone, even pondering the possibilities scares the shit out of me and it's all because I'm not there to protect her.
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