Nick and I had broke up again, but after I found out what he was doing behind my back, nobody can blame me. What kills me more is that AJ knew all about it and didn't say anything. After I slapped Nick, I give him my best right hook and told him what I thought of them both. The Millennium tour is coming up and I've decided not to be on the same bus as Nick, but I'll be on the bus with Kevin and Howie. The tour talk will be down to a minimum, I don't like discussing it anymore so I'll end up focusing on everyday things. "Are you alright, Jazz?" AJ asks, concerned.
I haven't fully forgiven him nor Nickolas, but I have to admit AJ told me everything that his friend had done. "I'm good. I just can't wait to see Oshai and the rest of em in the morning."
"I think I'm just going to try to steer clear of the six of you tomorrow."
"I'll be staying with them until the tour."
"You don't have to go on this tour if you don't feel up to it."
"I know I don't, AJ."
"Take the year or so off or do behind the scenes shit or you could just tag along with a band," AJ suggests.
"Maybe."
I ended the conversation and headed to my room, feeling a need to call someone. I sit on the edge of the tub, looking at my socked feet with my cell in my hand. I highlight a number I hardly call, hoping they're not too upset. "Hello?"
"Hey, I have a question."
"I'm all ears, honey."
I take a deep breath, close my eyes and ramble off my question after explaining why. "Is it ok if I stay in his old room for awhile?"
"Of course."
"Thanks. I'll be there tomorrow morning around 11. I love you, Aunt."
"Anytime you need something, call me."
"Will James be there?"
"Not until April 19 and it's only for a week or two, they'll be performing the 9th."
"Um, ok."
"See you in the morning," she tells me, hanging up.
I sigh and look at my cell before pocketing it, zipping my carry on bag and clipping the duffel shut. "I can't tell them, I'll make sure to tell James in May."
The album release party? I just broke up with Nick a few days ago and just to make it final with him tonight, I gave him back the ring he gave me a few weeks ago. It was otherwise good and yes, I'm aware it's 11 at night. I called the one person I've always been able to turn to at this hour of the night, not even bothering to look at the time.
On top of that, everyone found out how James and I are so comfortable around one another the morning before and tensions have been high all day.
~~~~~
Earlier Today...
"James! Darren! Stop it!" I say between laughs. My cousin and his best friend, James Bass are pinning me to the floor of a hotel room while mercilessly tickling me. I'm turning bright red in the face and I know better than to wake them at 8am.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"Darren, you get the door and I'll keep Sam pinned." He quickly straddles my hips as Darren gets up to answer the door, James continuing to tickle me. The moment Darren opens the door, he's greeted with, "What the fuck? Lance, you know how I get when-" JC stops mid-rant, seeing me pinned under one of his friends and bandmates. "Why is she here?" Take into account he and I have been at each other's throats off and on since we met.
Darren laughs like a hyena, James smiles as he bites back laughter. "JC, this is Darren's kid cousin, Sam."
"Is that why you kept talking to her?"
"Haven't you?" he asks, ceasing the tickle torture.
"Only when we bump into each other or are forced to. Hi, JC."
"Hi, Jazz," he responds, monotone and coldly. "Why is she in your hotel room?"
"Darren asked if she wanted to hang out yesterday and she said she would text him back about it last night. She said yeah, we could."
I pinch James' side, my Mississipian accent coming out. "I promise, James, if you don't get off me, I'm going to kick your country ass!"
He looks at me, smiling. "How are you going to do that, Missy? I'm sitting on your waist."
"I'm confused," a half asleep JC mutters to himself more than the 3 of us.
"James Lance Bass, either you get off me or I will hurt you so bad!" He smiles and sticks out his tongue. I shove him as hard as I can, knocking him back and I sit up. "Get up or I'm going back to my bed and get some more sleep."
Darren scrunches up his face, thinking. That's a bad thing, I tell you that from experience. "Nick's there. You're my cousin and you're dating my best friend's band's rival. How dare you betray us, Samantha Marilyn Charpentier?" he states, feigning hurt. JC chuckles at this. "Well, sunshine, if you'd please leave so we can get dressed," he tells JC through his Mississippi drawl, clearly annoyed by him.
"Come on, Ja-"
Saved by the Bass. "She grew up with us, she's seen us do worse."
I laugh, knowing what he means. "Yeah, skinny dipping with your guys' white country asses, for one thing. I'm forever scarred. I know the routine," I retort, facing the door with a low laugh as JC leaves the room.
I slam the door shut behind him. I rest my head on the door as I wait to hear them disappear, James into his bathroom and Darren into his adding room for their showers. I open my eyes when I hear both showers turn on, walk to the bed and sit in the middle of it. I recall James telling me that one of the other four guys can't keep secrets to save his life, but which one? Chris and Joey knew a few months after we kissed why we felt so comfortable to do it, so it can't be them. I open the bathroom door a crack and ask James, "Which one of the guys can't keep a secret if his life depended on it?"
"JC can't; Justin, he can sometimes." Now we're officially screwed, any second now. I know Justin gets excited about this kind of thing, not always the good kind of excited.
When I was younger, I had spent just about every summer with Uncle George, his wife and my dear cousins. I only got along with Darren because he's only a few years older. He and James have been friends almost as far back as I can remember and when I saw James in Clinton last, he was leaving for Orlando. Clinton was lonely without him, boring too. Every time he'd call Darren, they'd three way me in and we'd talk for hours. Ma is from Clinton and her brother is my Uncle George and Darren's dad. Then Ma and I moved to Orlando, a move or two between.
James' cell rings, pulling me out of my memories. "Sam, could you get that? Should be my mom."
The caller ID confirms his prediction, proving he knows his momma. "Hi, Aunt Diane."
"Sam! How are you?"
"I'm good. How're you and Uncle Irv?" I have never once called James' dad by his first name, always having called him by his middle name so I knew which James I was talking to.
"We're doing good."
"Great to hear that."
"Is James there?"
"He's just getting out of the shower now. How's Uncle George?"
"He's doing good. He's busy out of his mind since Darren left home."
"Aunt Diane, he's fine. He's a big boy now." We burst into a fit of giggles at this comment. "I'm making sure he doesn't do anything dumb to get himself into trouble."
I hear the smile in her voice. "You always kept them out of trouble."
"I try. James! Aunt Diane wants to talk to her baby boy."
"Hand it to me, please," he says, sticking his hand through the crack between the bathroom door and its jamb.
"Yessuh," I joke as I hand him his cell.
He takes his cell into the bathroom as someone knocks at the room door. I stop at the door, hand on the handle and ask who it is. "Justin."
He couldn't wait to check the truth? "Just a minute," I reply through the door and open it, having to tilt my head back to see the fire in his eyes. "What's on ya mind, Timbs?"
"When were you or Lance going to tell me y'all have been friends so long?" Talk about him making someone feel guilty.
"I left it up to James." It's the truth.
His focus switches from me to James. "Lance!"
"He's getting dressed, Timbs."
"Shut up, I'm not happy with you right now," Justin quickly snaps.
"Excuse me?" He did NOT just use that tone with me!
He ignores me as James comes out of the bathroom, hands clenched into fists at his sides. "What the fuck, man? Three years she's been around and you couldn't tell us?"
The smile James had been wearing on his face drops and is rapidly replaced with a look of annoyance. "I love you too. I'll call you later. Bye. Hi, Justin. I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure why we're comfortable around each other until April 97. She told me my best friend from back home that she met this cute guy named Lance. She described me and he didn't care to put two and two together until she went to his house in Mississippi. I was talking to him and heard her in the background. I was confused. We always called her by her name, Sam, and everyone except our families called her Jazzy. Sherri and Dawn moved to Massachusetts when she was seven, she moved up there the summer between fifth and sixth grades. She came back down every vacation-summer, spring break, winter break, Christmas, Thanksgiving. I had left Mississippi, her mom had sent her down to see me go and for two years, all she knew was I was somewhere in Orlando. She heard I left the States and got to see countries she always wanted to see. That's why I got all those trinkets, for her."
"You've known for almost three years, Lance!"
"I didn't think it was the right time."
Darren walks in, unaware of the situation. "Timbs, what's up?"
"You knew for three years that you've known her since you were little!" he screams at my best friend, ignoring Darren.
"Whoa! She and James didn't recognize each other until she came home for spring break in 97. He called and started talking about his friend, Jazzy. We always called her Sam. When he heard her say something and laugh with his sister, he immediately said that she was his new friend from Orlando. I corrected him, telling him she's my kid cousin and to prove it, he could talk to her. I gave her the phone, telling her to talk to him. She answered after laughing once more."
I take a deep breath and continue. "I said hi and we played a million questions, my responses being vivid enough for him to realize I am who I am. I used to follow them everywhere, James deciding to include me after some time. So, when we came to the realization that I'm the same girl he hadn't seen in two years, he concluded that's why we felt comfortable enough to kiss each other. Come to find out, I had a crush on him. Initially for his personality, resurfacing because of different reasons-he looked cute and I wanted my chance with him. Something told me not to do it and I listened to it, putting our friendship above all else. We then agreed to tell you guys, he'd worry about you and I'd tell Heather and Tyler and ask them not to tell him. They haven't and now I have to deal with it."
"Who else knew?"
"Chris and Joey. They walked in while we were remembering times we shared in Clinton. We went as far as to explain it shouldn't be talked about."
"That's why they didn't tell us," Justin mumbles, one hand on his hip and the other holding his head.
"Yes, but they didn't find out till the night of the Disney concert."
"A year and a half?!" he screams, turning to stomp out of James' room.
We sigh and James looks at me, smiling and shaking his head. "He can be so irrational sometimes."
"And I'm the baby?" I chuckle, of a sarcastic sort. "He acts like it more than I do." A few minutes pass, a memory coming to the front of my mind. "We are definitely dorks, James being the biggest one."
"How so?" Darren asks.
"When he's had too much sugar, Joey sent me that tape."
They look at me, confusion twisted into their expressions and James looks slightly scared of what could be on the tape. He ensures that he has his key card and cell phone on our way out of the door. "What tape?"
"Pixi Stix and 'come look at the escalator, it's so cool' is all I'm gonna say."
He puts his head into his hands and shakes it, embarrassed. "I told him to burn it."
"Obviously, it translates to 'send it to Jazz' in his mind. Oh, it's just a copy."
"He still has the original. Great. I hope he never releases those tapes to the public."
"He's considering it."
He squeaks at the thought of it. "At least our fans will have fun watching them."
"Oh, lawdy! Josh's laughing fit! I almost died laughing while he was! All I did was make a face and he couldn't stop laughing! He better release that or I'm kicking his Italian ass!"
They both laugh. "I wanted to slap him or throw something at him because he wouldn't stop laughing. You made that face all the time to break the tension or lighten the mood."
"You're too serious to understand."
He rolls his eyes and makes his infamous 'ew' face, eliciting laughter and giggles from me as we near the security staff. "Lonnie, Derek, Mike. Feel like going somewhere instead of beige cooped up like caged animals?" Darren teases.
They look at one another and shrug. "As long as she's coming along."
"Yeah, I'm going," I tell Derek.
"I'm in. She makes it more entertaining. Second day in London, February 97."
"Oh, jeeze. I'm never gonna live that down, am I?"
"Never, you had us dying!"
"Joey has that on tape, too," James informs me.
"Helps us remember it better," Lonnie adds.
The six of us laugh for a minute or two. "Let's get out of this nut house before JC or someone else pitches a bitch fit over such a tiiiiiiiiny little thing."
Lonnie smiles and hits the proverbial nail on the head, "The whole you grew up with Lance thing just hit the fan?"
"Yeah, JC found out when he got woken up by me laughing and yelling at them. He told Justin. Next are the queen of bitch fits and Justin's tag along." I roll my eyes.
"Let's get out of here before they find out," Derek demands, ushering us into the elevator with Lonnie and Mike's assistance.
We hear both Andi and Bobbi scream 'WHAT' at the top of their lungs as we exit the elevator in the lobby. "RUN!!!!!" James screams.
Once we safely boarded the van and were on our way to get lost in the local FAO Schwartz store, we speak what's on our minds. "Wonder which one told who?" Darren questions.
"They both heard it from JC first, Justin giving the details."
"Thanks, Captain Obvious," I grumble at James. "We established Justin has the details because we told them to him."
"I say JC was too confused to say anything and Justin blabbed the moment the door shut behind him," Darren argues.
"I agree," Mike announces, a finger in the air. "Ten bucks on his theory."
"Ten on Lance and Jazz's," Lonnie says, glancing at us via the rearview mirror.
"Five on each," Derek says.
"Ten or you're out," I enforce.
Derek complains, but does anyway. Darren, James and I begin whispering between us with random fits of laughter sprinkled in, earning us Lonnie's looks of insanity or as if we have various appendages growing from our heads. "Yes, mister..." I use my hand as a clipboard with a checklist attached, "Mr. Lonnie?" The three of us burst into a laughing fit again.
"He usually doesn't laugh this hard over anything."
I pretend to shine my nails on my sweatshirt. "I try my best, my dear boy," I reply, imitating a Sherlock Holmes accent.
James chuckles softly. "If you think she's funny now, try keeping a straight face when she tries to hula hoop."
I put one hand on my hip and point at him. "I've improved over the years, James."
He rolls his eyes, scoffing and feeling a little more relaxed. "Whatever." We laugh like Shenzi, Banzai and Ed until we've gone bright red in the face and tears are streaming down our cheeks.
"I bet they hate me now, more if they already had."
James swats away the idea. "They're going to have to get over it. You're practically family and when you're not running around like a chicken with it's head cut off on another tour, you try to squeeze in as much time as you can with you favorite *NSYNCer." I guffaw. "So, I'm not your favorite?" I decided I need space from everyone right then and there.
A few hours later…
I'm waiting for my plane to arrive, impatient to go home to avoid everyone and it means James too. I have till April to accomplish it, maybe I'll head to LA or Orlando, possibly Tampa or Maine. I just want to be alone, away from the industry and distance myself from it all, be normal for awhile. "Flight 278 to Jackson, Mississippi is now boarding," comes over the intercom.
"Off to disappear from them," I mutter as I walk through the small hallway that connects the building to the side of the plane.
I landed safely and I see a familiar face waiting for me, she's wearing a pair of coverall shorts and a light tee, flip flops matching her clothes. I turn my phone on and it rings instantly, a call I was hoping to avoid. "Hello?"
"Bitty, where are you?"
"Poof."
"Really!"
"I'm safe."
It goes on like this until I hang up and silence my phone, he's become sorta spoiled lately. Fuck it, I've grown tired of the whole thing. I look at her and smile, appreciative that she's still the woman I recall from my childhood. "Fighting with James again, Sam?"
"Yes, and Josh and Justin and Nick and AJ and Kevin." I never could keep anything from his mom.
"For as long as we've known you, the two of you would fight just to make up and it was kind of like watching a lover's fit, reminding me of Romeo and Juliet's families."
"Aunt Diane, you mean the Capulets and Montagues?"
"Yes, but there is one major difference," she confirms.
"Our families don't have any problems with each other."
Diane nods her head, softly laughing at James and I. "You fight like you've been together since forever." I sigh to signal the end of the conversation.
We get in the same car she's had since way before he had become part of *NSYNC, making me think of when we were little. We were all a bunch of nerdy country kids with nothing much else to do but hang out and be crazy. I met him at the beginning of second grade, I was 6 and he was 10 and Darren had known him since the year before. I hadn't paid attention enough to catch his name or any of the usual shit, I had been so focused on my schoolwork and grades that I over looked that Darren had ditched me for 8 months when his new friend would call. I went to my karate and dance classes all summer, having to perform for both when a competition came about and I had been entirely consumed by them.
I did attend the release party, left around ten, had a flight for 3am and the only shut eye I got was on the plane. I'm running on close to a full night's of sleep, yet I know I could be subject to jet lag.
As soon as I walk through the door to his parents' place, Stacy is smothering me in hugs and Jim is asking fifty million questions that I have no answers to. "Jim, Stacy, let the girl breathe."
"Thanks, Diane."
I head to James' old room, still decorated as he left it and I eye a poster sized picture we had saved for. Why it caught my eye will wait until later, closer to the time when I decide to lay down to find out. It's a poster of Boyz II Men from the single cover they did with Mariah Carey-'One Sweet Day', we had to buy the single to get it. Our allowances were a coin here, a dollar there and it took Darren and I a couple weeks. We gave the poster to James as a 'welcome home, we missed you' gift the first time he came back home and performed in state. It seems off kilter, in the way where you remember how something was set up and they changed it in a minuscule way and it's just enough to bug you until you fix it or find out why.
I drop my bags by the dresser and take an armful of hangers from his closet, drop them on the floor. I sit in the 'butterfly' position and begin to put my clothes on hangers. Once I finish that, I place my shoes and small things how I like them. This is my room until further notice, which translates to the fact that I can kick him out of his old room on a technicality. "Still got a touch of the OCD," Stacy comments.
I look at her and shrug. "I don't have OCD, I'm just very particular about some things."
"Most things."
"Whatever."
"Why won't you talk to James?"
"What did he tell you?"
"He said you left the release party early and disappeared, so I got concerned about you."
"Stace, I'm here and I'm alive."
"You didn't say you're fine."
"You know me too well."
Stacy knows something happened to make me just up and leave the way I did, something major. She knows I might be touring this summer, but I might back out of it due to stress and lack of sleep which nobody knows yet. I lay down and call the artist's manager to inform them that I have to put my health first, but will continue to appear in the videos and for some appearances. We've gone through a normal day and it's around ten at night, sleep is being evasive. I turn on his ancient TV and my old Sega Genesis, having popped 'Sonic 2' in. I play for awhile, the volume muted until my cell begins to vibrate across the floor and I answer it after the third set of ringing. "Hello?" I didn't look at the caller ID, stupid me.
"Jazzy?" a smooth voice from my past asks.
"Yes," I reply slowly.
"It's Harold."
"I don't know a Harold."
"Devin."
"Fall River Devin?"
"Yes," he confirms, a smile in his voice.
"Green eyes, brown hair, Portuguese?"
"That's me."
"How have you been?" I ask, feeling a little better.
"Out of my sane mind busy."
"Sanity doesn't mix well in the music and movie industries, trust me," I remind him, laughing.
"We've been touring like crazy and being on the road with Britney is awesome, draining."
"She's a ball of energy, huh?" I say, a twinge of hate for her rising in my throat.
"Our set is draining is all. Our tour breaks April 9 and I was wondering if we could meet up."
"It's been forever since we've hung out, being nerds."
"Close to a year, other than in passing."
"It's been, what, six months since we've talked?"
"Three, I believe."
"When was the last time?"
"Around New Year's, Times Square."
I remember that, a smile crossing my lips as I stand. I turn the TV and game system off, laying on my bed with my head hanging off the edge afterward. "Oh, yeah," I quickly admit, sounding embarrassed.
"I'll never forget it."
I didn't think he'd say it, but he's got me wondering. "Why not?"
"It was perfect."
Guess that explains that for now. "Yeah. So you'll be good with coming here?"
"I have one catch."
"I knew there was one," I whine.
"You have to come to three of the shows."
That's it?! How simple could it be? "Which ones?"
"The 25th at the Worcester Centrum, the 31st at the Ice Palace in Tampa and April 9 at the Thompson-Boling Arena in Knoxville."
"Massachusetts, Florida and Tennessee? Talk about all over the place."
"They're the only ones I want anyone to be at and you're the only person I want there."
Awwwwwwwww! How sweet! "I'll be there," I promise, booking the tickets online.
"I can't wait to see you there."
"See you the 25th."
"Later."
"Sure."
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