Lance

"Every time I've gone home without you since 95, they've questioned me about you and I told them all I could. It's all I knew."
"Neenee must have driven you absolutely batty!" she laughs.
"Not as much as my gran," I chortle, biting into my Whopper.
"Your gran has always been pesterin' me when I'd visit home, sayin' 'when are you and James gonna come home together?' 'When are you gonna drag the boy home, kickin' and screamin' if needed?' She has been absolutely incessant about you and I bein' home at the same time."
She fits so many words into one breath, it sometimes amazes me. I used to talk the same way at first. I watch her put a broken onion ring in her mouth and smile. "Enough talk about home. What are your thoughts on Andi?"
"She's lost, hurt and confused as am I," she shrugs, sipping at her strawberry shake.
"You two are very much alike in some ways and have opposing qualities as well, but you possess far more likenesses than not."
"I'm sure. I just can't stand to be treated like an alien any longer, it gets tiresome. She's been there for the five of you since before day one and I suppose I should step back into the shadows, like I had been before."
I haven't heard anything from Andi since she took off when we landed in Tennessee, possibly aware Jazz was here already and now this. "I think you should reconsider that."
"I've made up my mind, after January 12 is when it begins and I will keep in touch. I just won't show up as much, but calls, texts and e-mails will be far more frequent. I'm still considering that I should tour with you for the album coming up, but I'm unsure."

Jazzy

Fuck, that hurt more than I would ever care to admit to anyone! It's Halloween and I just wanna stay in and be alone, but James and Josh don't get into this excuse to dress like idiots once a year. "Open the door, Lynni," Josh calls through the door, "please?" He's almost begging.
"No," I cry.
"Snagcheol, teacht ar, oscailt. Ba mhaith linn ach a scíth a ligint orainn mar gheall ar dhiúltú dul amach díreach chun breathnú cosúil le fools iomlán. Le do thoil?" James barters.
"Uimh! Ba mhaith liom a bheith ina n-aonar! Ní féidir liom a bheith ag gabháil thuilleadh! An gá dom mé féin ar leithligh ó tú guys! Níl sé ceart agus níl mé ag iarraidh a enrage Andrilynni!" I scream back between sobs, standing my ground as I get off the bed and sit on the window sill, curling into myself with my legs pulled to my body.
"Jazz, you're my sister and I can't let you walk away from me, not like this. Dammit, you can't stay mad at any of us for long and you know it!" he argues, hitting the door once. "Open the door or I get Johnny and you have to stay until your next tour!"

I very heatedly get up, fling open the door to see James take a step back and repeatedly hit Josh in the chest, crying and screaming at him. He wraps his arms around me and tries to soothe me, knowing when I'm enraged like this that I don't hear a word anyone says (even myself). I collapse into sobs and tears, racking my whole body in shakes and he follows my body down into a crouching position, dropping to my knees myself. James rubs my back, crouching or kneeling behind me and off to the side. I'm sure he's just out of my reach, but glad they said what was said. "You can't stay mad at us forever, girl. We love you and want you involved in our lives, both of them. Between you and Andi, we are normal people that had been given an extraordinary chance and we took the chance because you both believe in us. We need you both to be in our lives in every aspect," James explains.
"There are some things that we just can't go without for very long-you girls, our friends and our families. You girls help us keep grounded because we see you more than our friends or families. I've told you how I feel about Andi and you know I love you, no matter how much you piss me off. If I could go back and change anything, it'd be to keep Miss Vikki alive. I strongly believe her loss had strengthened and molded you into who you are today. I think you would have pushed yourself harder if she were still here, knowing your personal limits better than you do," Josh informs me, holding me tight. He's gotten better at being my big brother, knowing which way he needs to be to get through to me. "You're my sister. It means I have to worry about you, love you regardless, deal with you all the time, stay in touch with you, fight with you, snoop around, and protect you. It's what was in the big brother description pamphlet mom read to me when I was adopted."
I let out a sobbing laugh, sniffling. "I never got my little sister pamphlet," I whine.
The two of them laugh, a rare sort of laugh that makes them both snort and it makes me laugh even harder with each snort. "I guess they forgot it," James replies.
"So, can we hang out with you instead of looking like complete idiots at some costume party?" my brother asks, helping me up off the floor.
He and James walk with me to my room, getting comfortable as we order in some food and set up for movies. "I've just been so miserable about the whole thing with Andi, but it's so hard to respect the boundaries when they're like infrared markers and I have no way to see them," I explain.
"That's kind of a harsh way of putting it," Josh tells me, wincing as he says it.
"But it's true. Jazz, you're the same way sometimes too," James comments, following it with a reminder.
"Ok, so we're both at fault! But you have got to admit she's more adamant about it than I am, I know for damn sure I'm more lax!" I loudly point out, jabbing a finger between them.
"It's true, you are until someone pisses you off," Josh comments, rolling his cerulean eyes.
I narrow my eyes and fold my arms under my bust, giving him the meanest look I know how to give. "Bitty, don't even give him the glare because you know it's the truth," James interjects, my jaw falling through the floors and figuratively hitting the concrete in the basement.
"How dare you?!" I shriek, my arms flying all over the place as I speak. "You have known me for a decade and know me best, but you're supposed to keep my secrets as I have done for you! One word-aerach!" I stop to gauge his reaction with one hand on my hip and the other pointing a lone finger at him.
"Samantha Marilyn!" he scolds.
"James Lance! I know, yes! I figured you out!"

Josh's head falls into his hands, obviously confused before springing to his feet and standing between us, a hand on each of us to keep us apart. "WHOA! Wait a minute! What in fuck's sake are you two screaming at each other about?" he interrupts.
"I know yours!" he shouts at me.
"Yeah?" I challenge him.
"Yeah, Justin agus Nick, bréagach!"
"You wouldn't dare!"
"I'll tell Nick!"
"Justin and Nick in the same sentence can't be good! Stop and fill me in! Is she being unfaithful?" Joshua asks, completely aware James can't seem to lie at all.
He shifts his emerald eyes from my ocean blues to my brother's cerulean ones and back, never saying a word out loud. "Shut up!" I scream.
"I didn't say anything!"
"Your eyes said it all!"
"Your conscious is eating at you!"
"I feel no guilt!"
"Why? An bhfuil sé mar go raibh Nick é an chéad uair a thabhairt duit? Nó go raibh codlata tú leis nuair a bhí sé léi? Cé go raibh tú leis Preab? A bhfuil sé? An bhfuil sé meascán de go léir?!" he fires off, his hands flying in the general directions of the people he's talking about and hands come to rest in a folded position across his front with his emerald eyes turning a hazel color. Any shade of hazel in his irises indicates anger with James and that has always been true, it's the brand of anger nobody wants to see under any circumstances.
"Teigh trasna ort fein!" I scream, swinging an arm and loosely pointing a digit at him with pure rage in my tone.
"Lance, walk it off," Josh tells him.
"No, she has to face it."
"Face what?"
"She will get caught!"
"Devvie knows!" I bark at him. How dare he?! He's supposed to be my best friend! Justin has found out, I told him. The fucking nerve! "Aaaaaahhhhhhh!"

My personal security guard bolts into my room, having my spare keycard. "What's wrong?" he questions.
First off, Jeremy is of French decent and speaks it fluently. "James est un rat!" I shout, pointing at James and then my brother. After a clean breath is taken into my lungs, I continue yelling, jabbing a finger in the air at James as he cluelessly watches me bitch about him in French to my security detail.
"A promise is a promise," Jeremy agrees. "Dude, just apologize and drop it," he advises James.
"Après ce soir, je veux juste rentrer à la maison de 'Sippi jusqu'à Noël!" I scream at Jeremy, infuriated.
"The weekend before, right?"
"Oui!"
"All I understood was 'Sippi, where's that?" Josh implies.
"Mississippi, back where we are from," James informs him. "To her 'Sippi is home, Mississippi. Her vacation place is 'Treal-Montreal, Canada. Every year her family would go to Montreal for a reunion for a few days at the beginning of summer vacation and the only way she's been able to weasel out of it has been working or being with us or the Boys," he entirely explains.

The rest of the night is peaceful and I take off while they sleep soundly in my room. Too much had been said and done to let it go, so I chose to leave. I look back at Josh laying on his stomach on the extra bed, the pillow entwined in his arms underneath his head and James on the bed we shared, in his pjs and on his side with his arm around my pillow. I had placed my pillow there to keep him asleep, otherwise he would have woken to see me leave and I couldn't have that. We had a fight and they both defended Andi, yelled at me for some characteristics that I have which aren't that great about me, screaming at the top of our lungs. Another patron called management and we were spoken to by the on shift manager. "I love you guys, but I can't fight like that with you for the next 2 1/2 months," I whisper, quietly leaving the room. I look at Jeremy and nod, silently signaling I'm ready to get to the airport.
"Jazz?" I hear a groggy Tennessean drawl call out quietly.
I close my eyes and silently curse myself for not leaving ten minutes ago. "Timbs, I can't stay," I tell him sadly.
"You can stay in my room," he offers.
"No, I can't stay," I reiterate, becoming agitated.
"All because you had a fight with your brother and childhood friend?" he asks, twisting his face into a confused sort of look.
"It's not just that."
"Then what is it?" he asks, his arms crossing over his naked chest.
"Fighting with them, I miss 'Sippi, I wanna see momma, poppa, 'Ler and Heather."
"I miss Memphis, my family and Orlando, but you don't see me running off at the ass crack of dawn to do so," he argues, making it clear he'll be in a sour mood for at least all day today.
"You're also 1/5 of this group, hence obligated to stay," I justify, rapidly turning on my heel and getting in the elevator with a pang of guilt in my heart, sadness eating away at me.

We get to the airport via taxi, checking in and boarding the plane before I begin reading 'Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire' where I had left off. I get to the last chapter and hear the stewardess' announcement that we have begun descent into Jackson. I shove my book into my single carry on bag and exit the aircraft. "Too late to turn back now," Jeremy reminds me.
I sigh and look at the airport in front of me, plastering a genuine smile on my face.

JC

I haven't heard a single word from the baby since she left at the beginning of last month and we're days away from going home, 5 to be exact. Justin is mainly focused on a lawsuit which just got out to the press, the incident happened barely more than 2 weeks after Sam took off. She's hiding better than last time and I'll track her down on the 23rd to get her home for Christmas. "Where could she hide this well?" I ask Lance, flipping a coin over my knuckles.
"She can be anywhere-Hampton Beach, Boston, Fall River, Ellisville, Jackson, Clinton, Orlando, Tampa, LA, The Hills, San Diego, or The Keys," he counts off effortlessly.
"That's a third of the country!"
"Oh, Stevens Point, Wisconsin or Montreal."
"I give," I groan, throwing my arms into the air.

A pair of slender arms wrap around my shoulders, making me jump. "It's just me, baby," she coos in my ear, hardly above a whisper.
"Not now, Bobbi," I growl, shoving her arms off my body.
"But why not?" she whines.
"I had a fight with my sister and she took off 6 weeks ago. I haven't been able to find her since she left. It's almost Christmas and I promised my family and hers that I'd bring her home for the holidays."

We're hanging out at Justin's in Orlando when we hear the familiar sound of his Yahoo! account signaling he received an e-mail. My girlfriend takes the annoying sound as her cue to leave, Justin checking his mail and we can tell he has begun clicking away at the keyboard. He stops for a few seconds and clicks the mouse a time or two, pausing for a moment before resuming clicking away at the keys as fast as he can. "She's at her place here in town," he tells Lance and I.
We spring upright in our seats and focus on him. "Where is she?! Where has she been?!" I excitedly inquire, anxious to know because it's been six long and torturous weeks.
"Rehearsals for the Boys' upcoming tour and Johnny confirmed her for our tour this summer tour we're doing for the new album. She spent the first two weeks in Mississippi before coming here and Johnny recruiting her." He pauses for a few seconds, reading what she typed. "Um, the dancer we thought was her during Bow Wow's set was her, the last three dates we shared a stage with him. She darted for the bus after her shower while we performed. Around those dates, she spent with family back home and rehearsing with the Boys."
"Ask her why she couldn't pick up the phone and answer us," Lance requests, becoming upset.
"She says 'not enough hours in a day'."

Lance

If I see her before the end of the year, I'm chewing into her. She's been texting JC, saying she's fine and just told him she would attend my New Year's party in NY. The party is tonight and JC spoke to her for the first time in almost two months on Christmas Eve. I've left the two of them to their own devices, hearing about her through Justin and JC. Justin's been keeping us updated because of their e-mails and IMs since the 19th and JC had been madder than a bull seeing red. "You sure she didn't just need space?" my mom asks, part of the way through our phone call.
"Momma, she had a fight with JC and I before she up and left in the beginning of November," I recall, informing her of the details.
"Keep in mind, James, she's a very guarded southern belle since she's gotten up there in status," she reminds me.
"Momma, she's been more so guarded since… Since it happened."
She takes a deep breath and relaxes. "We all have."
"I love you, momma."
"I love you, too, James."

We hang up and I finish prepping for the party, watching for my best friend from home to show up. For some reason, I don't see her come or go and figure I just missed her by seconds. I find Justin and Brit after and they confirm that Bitty had been present from 10pm until 1:30am, dodging JC and myself in the process. She's gotten so good at it, I'm embarrassed to admit she can hide in plain sight and win a round or ten of 'hide & seek'. I suppose I'll see her at the award shows soon, the AMAs are January 8th and the Grammys are February 21st. I guess we will find out what she has to say.

The guys, Britney, Christina and myself are cleaning up after the party. JC's face contorts in thought and he ceases movement for a minute or so. "What's rattling around in your brain, C?" Justin questions.
"Why would Lynni take off, start talking to you, me and Lance again only to avoid us tonight?"
"She's not ready to see or talk to you two yet, maybe she'll be ready to go face to face with you guys at the AMAs," Brit informs us.
"Why won't she talk to us?" I ask.
"Gee, I think it's to do with that fight you guys had a couple months back," Justin remarks.
"What's that supposed to mean?" JC snaps, glaring at his protégée.
"She told me she couldn't stay, her first reason being you three fought. I believe she went to do everything she has over the past couple months to relax, clear her head. I don't doubt she spent a day with Aaron and his sisters at the beach, Nick probably tagged along. She's probably trying to make sure she sees you two when her head is clear," Justin rattles off, barely thinking and cleaning at a hurried pace because he's aggravated. "Because you two decided to fight with her and piss her off, she stopped all contact with the whole group. She shunned us all for over a month, slowly letting us talk to her a little at a time."
"She didn't even talk to me," Britney announces.
"Or me," Christina admits.

I now understand why Justin was so pissed off November 1...
It's the AMAs and we just got inside the venue, so I search for her. I was ready to give up when a hand grasps my wrist and yanks me across the room. I turn around to right my balance and see Aaliyah. "Where's the fire, tiger?" I lamely joke.
"Dying inside your fire tiger," she growls, no doubt fully informed of the night before she took off. "Here, talk," she barks at me, whipping me around her body and face to face with Jazz.
"I'm sorry about Halloween," I start off.
"You practically told him," she states from a couple feet away.
"I didn't mean to make it that obvious, Lynni."
"Secrets are meant to be kept between the ones who know and not be spoken of otherwise."
"I know, I shoulda never brought it up."
"Damn right you shouldn't have!" she barks at me, finally jabbing me in the chest with her manicured finger. "I haven't told a soul about yours, although I figured it on my own. My guess is your date is Aunt Diane," standing less than a foot from me and folding her arms across her body, obviously ripshit.
"Yes, my mom is my date."
"Which merits what I know."
"It's the truth," I finally confess to her.
"Thanks for finally coming clean."
"Will you talk to JC tonight?"
"Yeah, at the after party."
"Why didn't we hear from you?"
"After I got back to Orlando, I began rehearsals for the Boys' tour that starts next month and flew out to help Shad with three tour dates that he opened for you. I ran myself ragged and ended up in the hospital once I got back to Orlando. The docs said malnutrition, extreme exhaustion and dehydration. You can thank AJ I'm still alive, he had come back into the rehearsal hall and found me unconscious on the floor. He grabbed my things, his hat and my unconscious body before putting me in his backseat to speed to the ER. I was there from the 3rd till the 24th, three weeks in the hospital is a nightmare."
"Who stayed with you?"
"It rotated between the Boys, Aaron, Leslie, BJ, Angel, JC's family and Denise, AJ's mom."
"Why couldn't you tell us?"
"I told Justin and made him promise not to tell, it wasn't his place to say anything. I made it clear that I'd tell the rest of you over time and when I saw fit."
"Can I let JC know you're here and safe at the least?"
"No, he'll know at the after party," she replies, walking off to hide. She finds Devin and the head for their seats. I was so focused on her face, I forgot to look at what she was wearing. I should know by now that she's going to change before the after party.

That was the last time I saw her, I'm hoping I see her at the Grammys. It's her birthday, so I call her. She picks up, laughter floating from her voice. "Hello?"
"Happy birthday, girl," I greet her.
"Thanks, James."
"You're finally 18, how's it feel?"
"The same as I've felt since I was 15." I hear a loud THUD! and her laugh again. "Just slightly off balance today, Alexander?"
"Shut up! It's five in the morning," he responds.
"You know you've got to be good on your feet in barely under 2 weeks."
"Yeah, I know!" he growls.
"When is your first date?" I ask, my attempt at grabbing her attention.
"I don't remember off the top of my head," she groans. "Don't make me use my brain, it'll hurt like my body does. I've gotta play catch up cuz of the time I was in the hospital."
"You're eating better, right?" I inquire, concern dripping from each syllable.
"Yes, I'm also taking multivitamins too. Less sugar, more nutritious meals and snacks."
"Good. Did you talk to JC?"
"Yes, I told him I'd keep in touch and plan on seeing him February 11 in Chicago. The sad part is that's the only date I can remember," she chuckles.
I hear Nick laugh and her make an unattractive noise to quietly vocalize her annoyance with him. "Fatima's coming!"
"Thanks, Nickolas. Gotta go, James. I'll catch you at the Grammys," she rattles off, disconnecting the call before I could reply. She meant it too, unable to actually talk on the phone to or see her until the prior to that show.