This has got to end, it'll end very fucking soon and it's an unspoken promise I intend on keeping. I quickly walk to Andi's door and slip my foot in between the door and its frame before she can manage to shut it all the way, pushing it open. She fights with me and I win, gaining entrance to the room and shutting the door behind me. "This bull shit needs to stop! You're destroying her when she's trying to open up to you! She feels fucking bad enough! She defends you against your ex! She has been through some hard times and so have you! You're being a pretentious bitch! Open your God damned eyes and see she just wants you to listen to her, maybe even just be cordial! When you decide to be mature enough to accept that she's in ALL of our lives, I'll start really talking to you on a personal level again! Until then, don't expect much from me! You've crossed a fine line and it's hard to get back to the greener side again, even if I love you!" I scream at her, forcing her to back up enough to where she was sitting on the bed by the time I mentioned that my sister defends her against Nick. She can tell that I'm completely enraged, I can read it in her face and eyes. I place my hands on the bed next to her thighs, putting my face close enough to have our noses touch and I fight the urge to kiss her. "Am I fucking clear?!" I growl, demanding an answer.
"Whatever," she brushes me off and scurries off the bed in the opposite direction from me.
I speed walk out of her room, making sure to slam the door as hard as I possibly can to ensure everyone recognizes how ripshit I am. I walk back over to my baby sister, scoop her up into my arms as she cries and feel my heart break for not only her, but Andi as well as her tears make miniature rivers flow from her eyes. They both have their guard up, but Andi's is everything proof-including love proof. JazzBean begins to whimper, signaling that about to stop crying and I look down to find that she had cried hard and long enough that she's fallen asleep. "Dammit," I softly curse.
"What's up, man?" Justin asks me.
"She cried herself to sleep."
He sighs, his eyes emitting remorse and sorrow. "I'll take her," he offers, holding out his arms.
I slowly move her body toward his and her arms tighten around my neck, meaning it's either me or Lance. "I don't think she's out."
"Might be a few minutes. Let me see if she'll come to me if I wake her?"
"Sure."
"Jazzy, come here," he whispers by her ear.
"James," she demands, half asleep.
Lance comes over, his arms outstretched. "C'mere, Lynni," he coaxes her softly. She immediately latches onto his neck and lays in his arms, falling back into her exhausted sleep.
Andi comes into the hall, slamming her door and glares at the five of us as Chris and Joey talk to Justin and Lance. I'm lost in my thoughts as I wander aimlessly, consumed in my own world of worries. "Leave her here."
"Excuse me?" I snap.
"You heard-"
"She's coming or I won't."
She begins walking toward the elevator and the five of us follow suit, security team in tow. Derek leans over just as we approach the elevator and Andi, "I guess she's upset?"
"Because of my her," I answer, nodding toward the 17 year old teenage girl asleep in Lance's arms.
"She's been through so much and manages to do everything she is and has, Andi as well. They're both hard asses, but just on different wavelengths. Give it time and she will see how much it hurts your sister, forcing her to realize how she treats those close to you guys at times."
"It better be soon, this is fucking ridiculous."
"I know, everything is changing."
"Never question someone's method of madness, only inquire their level of sanity," I say from memory.
"Act like you know nothing, but question everything," Lance recites her other frequently spoken piece of wisdom.
"She's like a rose. She's tough when she needs to be, beautiful and soft. Andi is like a water lily strong, but caves sometimes," Justin observes.
I can't stand seeing either in pain and I don't like to be the one to inflict it on anyone. It's time to make it end soon. Foxboro is just a couple days away, hopefully it goes off without a hitch. I spot AJ walking in the direction of the toy room, signature cheetah print cowboy hat on and say a few words to Derek before gaining entry to the room Jazz is in, I stride up to the door as quietly as I can manage. I signal Derek to stay silent as I watch and listen to what they say. His head drops and he grumbles. "Nick misses you like crazy."
"That's nice, don't care," she sneers.
"Well, I think I'm going to stop back in on you in a few days."
"What fucking for?" she narrows her eyes and racks her brain for possible reasons.
"Just trust me."
"Right," she says slowly.
With that he leaves and she's called for our before show hugs. I bolt off to where I was supposed to be and she never sees me.
'Andi is one of the best things in their lives and I'm second banana. Josh should tell her how he feels and that it kills him to have us at war. I'm leaving now and will meet up with them the night before. Maybe staying in Maine and visiting some family in Canada might help me unwind. I leave after this show, obviously once they're asleep. One day is enough.' That journal entry disturbs me after the show, having been the one to grab her to ensure she wasn't left behind.
"Grab that, Justin," I request, motioning to the little book.
Next day, she's gone-no note, text, not a fucking thing. I call her and it rings five times on the I don't know what number try. "Oshai."
"Where are you?" I ask frantically.
"On a mini vaca."
I hear James, he's on the phone with Kitana. "Where are you?"
"Safe and with 'Renny."
"Hey, man!" her cousin says loudly.
"Fine. Talk to you soon?"
"Maybe." She disconnects the call and I don't hear another word from her for awhile, she won't answer for me.
Lance tries again the next day, to no avail directly, but is able to reach Devin. "What did he say?" I ask Lance, who just got off the phone with Jazz's man.
"That she's fine, took off, won't say where and it isn't Canada. Kit went back to Mississippi, so I know she's either in Mississippi, Massachusetts, or Florida. That's my best guess."
"I'm aware of that!" I shout, frustrated and scared because I can't locate her and Andi still hasn't said much to us. I begin pacing back and forth as I worry about them, not completely used to her taking off like Lance is. He's far too calm about it.
"When she's ready to come back, she will. If she comes back for the same show, I say that's when we lock them in the room together," Lance declares.
We all look at him like he's out of his mind. "Are you ok, Pez?" Chris asks him, concern in his voice.
"I'm fine," he says after a calming breath. "I'm just sick and tired of this bullshit fight between them."
He's begun swearing? When was that? Where was I? I sit down at the table, scratching my head and begin to wonder where she would hide from us all. "What if she's near a beach?"
"What? Why would she hide there? It'd be too obvious," Chris argues.
"She told me that the beach helps her relax, to be able to sort everything out in her mind, heart and life," Justin confesses a tidbit of info I had no clue about, all I knew is she loves the beach and it makes her happy.
"How long have you known that?" I ask.
"A couple years now," he tells us, shrugging.
"Are you sure you didn't sleep with her?" I demand, glaring at him.
"I'm sure I didn't."
"What states would she visit if she were at a beach?"
"Cali, New Hampshire, Maine, Florida and North Carolina."
"She might have Darren with her," I assume, hoping I'm right. Lance rambles off Darren's cell number and I call.
"Hey, man," he answers nervously.
I bite my thumb nail and sigh as I greet him. "Darren, have you seen Jazz?"
"I'm with her."
"Good. Where?"
"She needs a break and she turned her cell off."
"I know her cell phone's not on, I've left three voicemails since six this morning," I say, dropping my head into my hands. "Can I talk to her, please?"
"I'd let you, but-"
"But what?" I snap, my eyes shooting daggers through Justin.
"She took off and I can't find her."
"Shit!" I yell, slamming my hand on the table. "Darren, are you seriously telling me that you LOST my baby sister?!" I scream at him.
"Yes," he slowly tells me.
I sigh, trying to collect my thoughts and cool down. "Call me when you find her, I'd like to talk to her immediately."
"Will do, C."
"Thanks, bye." I don't bother waiting to hear his response before closing my cell phone, hanging up. I let my head drop back against the wall and let out a loud groan of frustration. "How hard is it to keep track of a 17 year old girl?"
"About as easy as it is to keep track of Andi," Justin quips, a nervous smile on his face.
"Shut up."
"Andi has a talent for taking off and disappearing," Justin explains.
"Sam could do it almost instantly," Lance confesses.
This information grabs my attention and my head snaps up so my eyes meet his. "What's the longest she took off for?"
"Three weeks when she was nine. She stole food from my mom's and it meant she was okay."
"So what do we do?"
Lance shrugs nonchalantly. "Not much we can do but wait for her. Most southern girls want space and need time to figure everything out. Go about our days and give her time to come to us."
"She's laid back in her own ways, more cautious now than she had been a couple years ago," Justin agrees, laying back on the couch.
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