sixteen: memphis & mila
It was a rather nondescript Tuesday morning when Justin awoke to a slew of calls from his mother, topped off by a lone text that read, “Call me.” And knowing his mother wasn’t exactly one to send texts, he did so immediately, and was stunned to find out upon reaching her that his grandfather was going in for triple bypass surgery the following day. No one had known anything about it, as William Bomar was a proud man, and hated the thought of any of his kids, grandchildren, or even his wife worrying about him. But the news had come out and the family was suddenly in a frenzy. Justin was on the first flight he could find to Memphis.
When he finally landed, he was still going through a range of emotions, and he needed someone to talk to. He wasn’t sure why, but Nadia was the first person he thought to call and he desperately hoped that she would answer.
“Hello?” she greeted him more sullenly than he expected.
“Umm, hey. You got a minute?”
“Uh huh,” she nodded to herself. “I actually just called you like half an hour ago, but it went straight to voicemail.”
“Yeah, I just got off a flight.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were leaving the city…”
“I didn’t either,” he admitted softly. “Did you need something?”
“Well. No, not really,” she lied. Truth was, she wanted to cut her losses with him before shit got crazy, but he didn’t sound like he was equipped to handle that at the moment. “Is everything okay with you?”
“Not quite.” He sighed heavily, hating that he would have to say the words he was about to say. “My grandpa is having heart surgery tomorrow and I feel fucking paralyzed for some reason.”
“Oh god, Justin, I’m so sorry.”
"I feel sick."
“Oh man, why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve h--”
“We didn’t know,” he cut her off to announce somberly.
“What?”
“He didn’t tell anyone. Not his wife, not his kids, not his friends… not me. How the hell are we supposed to be okay with this, how are we supposed to help him when he won’t even keep us in the loop?”
“I’m confused. You said he's having surgery tomorrow, how did you find out if he didn’t tell anyone?”
“I don’t know,” he sighed again. “But we did, and now we’re all fucked up and mad and sad and… I don’t know.”
“Wow, so what was he gonna do, just disappear for a few days?” she wondered as she talked him through his walk to baggage claim.
“Probably so,” he tried to laugh. “He and my granny have been married like sixty years, so they’re at that point where they don’t have to say much of anything to each other anyway. It wouldn’t have surprised me if he did the whole surgery without her noticing.”
“That’s fuckin’ crazy.”
“That would be my grandpa.”
“Well the good thing is that this is a fairly common procedure and the success rate is like 90 percent, so don’t go into this thinking shit is bleak. It won’t be easy on him, but he will be all right. All right?”
“I know.” He didn’t sound convinced in the slightest. “But there’s that ten or twelve percent chance or whatever that he doesn’t make it, that something goes wrong. And I’m telling you, I’ll be devastated, Nadia. Completely gutted.”
“Hey, you don’t have to tell me. I mean, I didn’t deal with ORs very often, but working the ER was nothing but lessons in dealing with tragedy. So I wouldn’t tell you not to worry if you shouldn’t…”
“I think it’s just more nerve-wracking because he kept it so quiet. Like how do you not tell anyone?”
“Listen kid, you’d be surprised what people keep from one another. Don’t hold it against him.”
“Nadia, I am shaking. My hands are literally trembling due to… this. So I’m not sure you’ll be able to talk me down.”
“What are you so scared of?”
“That tomorrow will be the last time I see, speak to, laugh with my grandpa.”
“Justin…”
“I’m being neurotic, I know, and what you’re saying is logical, but--.”
“But this is emotional,” she finished for him, knowing all too well how hard it was to separate matters of the heart and brain. “I know. I just want to offer some perspective.”
As he made it to the baggage claim, where some family member or another was scheduled to pick him up, he decided that he no longer wanted to discuss the subject at hand. “So now that I’ve whined your ear off, what did you wanna talk to me about?”
Her mind had gone so far past her tiny paranoia about their friendship. “It was nothing. I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out tonight.”
“Ah, well I’ll probably have to take a rain check on that,” he grinned inwardly. “How was work today?”
“It’s past three o’clock here, I barely remember work today,” she chuckled softly. “But nothing titillating, I assure you.”
“Is it ever?”
“Don’t get cursed out.”
“I kid,” he made an attempt to smile to himself as he stepped into the August heat. “It literally feels like I just stepped into the devil’s ass out here.”
“That’s disgusting, Justin.”
“That’s Memphis in the summer.”
“It’s a hundred degrees in New York right now, so you get no sympathy from me.”
“It’s a hundred and ten here and it feels like 126, so…”
“Are you really about to try and compete with me here?”
“I’m not, because I’m pretty sure I see my mom’s car.”
“You sound like a kid getting picked up from school.”
“The good old days,” he sighed. As the champagne colored Mercedes got closer, he confirmed that it was, in fact, his mom’s car, but it was not his mom inside of it. “Lemme call you back, okay?”
“All right, dude. Update me when you can.”
“I will.” When the car met him at the curb, he could see that the driver was actually his ex-wife. “What the hell are you doing here?” he opened the passenger side to greet her.
Mila smiled politely with her eyes hidden behind a large pair of shades and gestured for him to get in. “Lynn called me, I had to come.”
He threw his carry-on into the back seat and then went to the driver’s side. “Let me drive.”
“What the fuck, I’m driving!”
“I wanna drive,” he repeated, opening her door. “It’s my car, move.”
“Justin!”
“Move!”
“Fuck you, get in the passenger’s seat.”
“No.”
“Mila.”
“No, Justin. I’m already here.”
“Listen, I really appreciate you coming to get me and whyever you’re here, I don’t know… thanks, I guess. But I am about to flip out just thinking about what might happen tomorrow and I very much need to be in control of something right now, even if it’s just a steering wheel. Please move, Mila.”
After considering what she knew must have been going through his mind at the moment, she hesitantly relented.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
It was a long, mainly silent ride from the airport to Shelby Forest, where Justin’s family resided. He was anxious to see his grandfather, but as he pulled up to his parents’ palatial abode, he couldn’t help but be reminded of the first time he’d brought Mila home with him. The first time his mom met his wife.
Thanksgiving 2001…
“Justin, I cannot believe you would bring her here without telling me.”
Justin looked at his mother with a mix of frustration and defeat plastered over his face. He didn’t know what to say to her. “You’ve been bugging me for a month about the fact that you haven’t met her yet. I thought you would be happy.”
“You thought I would be happy that you married some girl you met all of three months ago, without telling me, without so much as even inviting me, and a month later, she’s sitting in my driveway to spend Thanksgiving here? Why the fuck would I be happy about that!” She was yelling and speaking fast “ two things Lynn Harless rarely did.
“Calm down, mom. I didn’t do any of this to hurt you.”
“I am convinced you didn’t think of me at all, Justin! You’re my only child and I don’t even get to see you get married the right way.”
He hated when she pulled the only child card. Like it was his fault that she decided not to have any other children. “Mom.”
She rolled her eyes at the entire idea. She didn’t understand anything he had done over the past few months, ever since his short-lived relationship with Britney Spears had fizzled out. “Well go on and get the girl, you can’t leave her in the car all weekend.”
He was hesitant to let his new wife walk into this lion’s den, but he was more confident that after a weekend with Mila, his mother would love her just as much as he did. “Be nice, ma.”
“I’ll be cordial,” she promised.
Now completely unnerved by the entire thought, he left the house to bring Mila inside. He was pleasantly surprised to find his dad in the driveway, laughing with his bride, but that didn’t do much to calm his rampant thoughts. His dad, after all, had always been the more understanding of his parents.
“Dad, I see you’ve met Mila.”
He turned to his son with a satisfied smile and an armful of an uncooked turkey. “I was just telling her about my ordeal at the super market, and she was nice enough to engage me.”
“Hey, I love a good supermarket story.” She shut the car door and offered to help bring in some of the groceries.
“You don’t have to do that,” Justin declined for his dad. “I got ‘em.”
“Don’t be silly.” She went to Paul’s open car door and grabbed several sacks full of food. “Come on, I wanna meet your mom.”
Justin, in all his infatuation, did exactly as told, following his wife and father back into the house, where Lynn had been watching all three of them. She had a sternness to her that he hated to have to try and ignore, but this was the situation, it seemed.
“Mila, this is my mom, Lynn. Mom, this is my wife, Mila.”
Mila was beaming, so proud to finally meet the woman that was responsible for the man her husband was. She quickly went in for a hug. “It’s so nice to meet you, Lynn. I can’t even tell you how exciting it is to meet you.”
Lynn was obviously taken aback by her enthusiasm, especially when she had already resolved to not like her. “Mrs. Harless is fine,” she metaphorically bitch-slapped her without a second thought. “It’s nice to meet you as well.”
While Mila was only 18, and not necessarily as mature as most of the company she kept, she was pretty sharp, and knew to retreat immediately. “Your home is beautiful,” she still managed to smile. “Thank you so much for having me.”
“Well my son here didn’t give me much notice that you were coming. I’m sorry that the place is a mess.”
“Oh god, please. We’re family now, don’t think of me as a guest.”
Justin interceded before his mother made some comment about them being family by law only. He could see it coming before she even opened her mouth. “I wanna introduce you to my grandparents, too,” he took Mila’s hand into his own.
“I think it’s so cool that they’re right next door,” she told Lynn and Paul. “I was telling Justin I haven’t seen my grandparents in ages, so I look forward to having some new ones.”
Lynn offered a tight-lipped smile. “That’s nice, dear.”
“Justin, I’m really thirsty. Could you get me some water?”
“I’ll get you some,” Paul offered instead. “Or we have juice, Coke, ginger ale, egg nog…”
“I would love a Coke.”
“Coming right up,” he grinned. “Sweetheart, you want a beer?” he asked his own wife.
“Please,” she nodded.
“Justin?”
“I’m fine, dad.”
As Paul disappeared from the room, Mila turned to her husband. “You should get the rest of the groceries for your dad.”
Not wanting to leave her alone with his mother, he decided, “Come with me?”
“I wanted to talk to your mom, actually.”
“I think you should go ahead,” Lynn countered curtly. When she received a look from Justin she added, “I’m not going anywhere.”
Mila wanted to wait for the room to clear before tackling the subject, but she decided she couldn’t wait. “I’m sorry, but what is your problem, exactly?”
“Excuse me?” Lynn’s blue eyes focused on her narrowly.
“I get that you probably aren’t over the moon that your only son decided to get married without any notice, but please believe me when I say that I had and have no intentions of taking him away from you. So you can stop with the evil mother-in-law routine, because I have only good intentions here, I swear. I just… love him. That’s it. And I want to love you and our family and whatever this turns into just as much. So I hope you’ll help me and not be against me. I’m not here for that… Mrs. Harless.”
Justin was stunned. “Mila…” He looked back and forth between them, holding his breath in anticipation of what might be said next.
Lynn was silent for a moment as well, digesting her new daughter-in-law’s words as they hit her like bricks. She decided the young lady before her was actually right. If her son’s marriage had any chance of success, she certainly couldn’t fight them every step of the way. She eventually smiled softly and outstretched her perfectly manicured hand. “Why don’t I take you to meet Justin’s grandparents.”
Mila smiled in satisfaction. “I’d like that, Mrs. Harless.”
“You can call me ‘Lynn.’”
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
October 2008…
“That was nice,” Mila sighed as she watched Justin pile into the back of their Escalade. They had just finished a lovely dinner with his parents, celebrating their 7th wedding anniversary. “Don’t you think?”
Justin glanced at her, a bit distracted by his own inebriation. “Yeah.”
“You don’t think so?”
“Didn’t I just say, ‘Yeah?’”
“But you sounded like you were just saying it to pacify me.”
“You should calm down,” he advised quietly, resting his head against the window. “It’s our anniversary. No reason to fight right now.”
She relented, but quietly referred to him as, “Mister Levelheaded…”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Is what a bad thing?”
“Being levelheaded.”
“Oh, I guess you didn’t catch the sarcasm…”
“I guess not,” he sighed, finally closing his eyes, wanting to dismiss the conversation. He was attempting to drift into a light slumber for the duration of their short ride back to their hotel, but before he knew it, his phone was vibrating in his pocket.
“It’s our anniversary, for Christ’s sake,” she commented, seeing him glance at his phone. “Can’t you keep your whores quiet for even one evening?”
“It’s my mother, you asshole.”
“Oh.”
“Hey, ma,” he tried to greet her amiably, despite his irritation.
“Justin. Hey.”
“What’s up? Did we forget something?”
“Umm, no. No, nothing like that.”
She sounded alarmed, and he didn’t like it. “What’s wrong?”
“Well. I um… Mila spoke with me at dinner, and she said something that really concerned me, so I wanted to let you know so that you two can hopefully fix this.”
“Okay…”
“And baby, I’m not gonna pretend I know what’s going on in your relationship, I just know that what she said to me was rather troubling.”
“Can you just spit it out?”
“Mila said that you cheated on her. Or rather, that you cheat on her, as in present tense and repeatedly.”
“You’re not serious, are you?”
“I wish I wasn’t, but she was very clear about it and that she was at the end of her rope. So… whatever it is you’re doing, Justin, please, for the sake of your wife and your marriage, you need to stop.”
“Ma, I promise you that that’s not true.”
“It doesn’t matter what I believe.”
“But I need you to know that it’s not true.”
“I need you to know that this is what’s going through your wife’s head, and you need to fix it.”
“Wow,” he sighed, looking over to Mila, who seemed intent on pretending she wasn’t paying any attention to his conversation. “I gotta go.”
“I’m sorry, baby. I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear on your anniversary.”
He hung up without any other words and turned to his wife. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he shouted, startling both Mila and their driver.
“What the hell, Justin? Why are you yelling?”
“You told my mother I’m cheating on you? Are you insane?”
“I am actually, thanks to you.”
“You’d have to be,” he frowned, shaking his head. “You’d have to be out of your fucking mind to involve my mother in this.”
“Oh, I can’t talk to your mom now? After years of telling me ‘Oh, she’s your mom too.’ I knew you were full of shit. You always have been.”
“I’m serious, Mila! You had no right to do that.”
“Well it’s done now, so…”
“You are unbelievable.”
“Like husband, like wife.”
He was more than relieved when they pulled up to the Trump Towers and he could escape the confines of that back seat. Neither of them greeted any of the staff that made it a point to greet them, but moved straight towards the elevators, where they angrily awaited for one to take them away.
When they finally stepped inside, where no one could hear them, he started the conversation again. “I can’t keep doing this with you, Mila. I can’t go out there and work my ass off and live in a bubble, fighting this everyday battle with fame, and then come home and fight you too. I just can’t do it.”
“I’m not asking you to fight me, Justin. I’m asking you to stop cheating on me.”
“I’m not cheating on you!”
“Yes, you are! You want me to be stupid and you want me to believe that, but we both know it’s not true.”
“Mila, your paranoia is going to tear us apart.”
“I am not paranoid! I know what I know.”
“Prove it.”
“I can’t prove it. You’re too good for that. You’re too good to leave behind any traces of the truth. But Justin, I know you. I know you well. I know how you sleep, I know how you eat, I know how you fuck. Sometimes we fuck and it’s exactly what I want. You know me well enough to know what I want,” she granted. “But sometimes, over the past couple of years, it’s obviously what someone else wants. And I’m not gonna let you pretend that that’s my imagination.”
They came to a stop and the doors opened, much to his relief, because he didn’t have a response to that. Silently, he walked off of the elevator and headed down the hall towards their suite.
Mila followed slowly behind, saddened by the fact that he had no retort. Without even knowing it, he had just confirmed her fears. “Fuck,” she whispered to herself as a tear ran down her perfectly made up face.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
It was nearing 2:00 AM on Wednesday morning and Justin was sitting outside of his grandfather’s hospital room, gazing into oblivion. He had a few hours before surgery and things seemed to be fine, but Justin couldn’t help but worry that something would go wrong. Everyone had gone home, aside from him, which he was relieved about, as he didn’t really want to talk to people anyway. Save for one person.
It was about 3:00AM Eastern Time, so he was being rude by making this call, but he couldn’t help himself. She was the only person he could think to confide in.
Nadia was shaken from her sleep by the buzzing of her cell phone against her nightstand and she hated it. But in case of emergency, she thought it best to answer. “Hello?” she greeted groggily.
“It’s me.”
She knew it was Justin thanks to caller ID, but she inwardly smiled at the fact that that was his identifier, even if he was waking her up. “Is everything okay?”
“I think so,” he sighed. “He’s ‘resting’ or whatever, but I’m still nervous.”
“Of course you are.”
“Tell me this is going to be fine.”
She sat up in her bed, trying to adjust her eyes to the darkness and figure out a way to talk her friend down for the third time that day. “Again?”
“Yes, again. Your even tone makes me feel like you know what you’re talking about.”
“He’s going to be fine,” she promised him earnestly. “When this is all over, he’s going to be better than he was before.”
“But they’re opening his chest.”
“To fix his heart,” she chuckled tiredly. “Justin, this is one of the most common procedures there is. And you are at one of the finest hospitals in the Southeast. He will be fine.”
He sighed heavily. “I don’t know why I’m being so irrational about this.”
“Because you’re human. It’s okay.”
“I’m not so sure it is.”
“Have you had a chance to speak with him? Like one on one?”
Much to his surprise, it was then that Mila came strolling down the corridor, toting two bags “ a duffel and a Sonic’s. “Nadia, lemme call you back?”
She was taken by surprise by his abruptness, but immediately relented. “Umm… Sure.”
Mila smiled at him warmly as she watched him tuck his phone back into his pocket. “Who are you talking to at two in the morning?”
“What do you have here?” he purposely ignored her question.
“Well since you appear to be taking up residence here, I figured you could use some clothes and maybe something to eat?”
He was starving, if he was honest. He accepted the bag of fast food and moved his feet so that she could take a seat next to him. “Thank you.”
She stared at him for a moment, studying his face, his demeanor, his emotions. She remembered a time when she knew him so well. Now, she questioned everything. “I’ve been trying to figure out whether or not you’re glad I’m here.”
“I have, too,” he smirked, popping several tater tots into his mouth.
She took a big bite of a hot dog that she’d gotten for herself before turning back to him. “And what have you arrived at?”
“I…” He paused for a moment, unsure of what the answer actually was. A large part of him still ached for what once was, but he was also coming to the realization that he no longer needed Mila the way he used to. And he wasn’t used to that feeling. Nonetheless, it was nice to know she would come when called. “Thank you for being here.”
She pulled her legs up to her chest and took another bite of her chilidog before replying, “There’s no place I’d rather be.”
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