twentythree: coffee black and egg white
Nadia had quickly downed a bottle of water on her walk home so that she wouldn’t have to wait an inordinate amount of time to take the test. When she walked in, she sat on her couch and stared into the darkness until the feeling actually hit her.
Having been a nurse, she had administered many pregnancy tests in her lifetime, and she knew that the next few minutes of her life were precious. Most women needing pregnancy tests in the emergency room were not prepared for a baby, be it emotionally, physically, or financially, so they often cried in anticipation. Or prayed. Some did both. Some left before the results even came back, which always scared her. But she understood how jarring it was to know that your entire world could be flipped to something unrecognizable in a matter of seconds. In fact, Nadia wished she could run from this herself, but instead, she let out a shaky exhale before beginning.
She tried to move as quietly as possible, so as not to wake Alex. She used the smaller downstairs bathroom, though she would have much preferred to do it in her own room. “Fucking Alex,” she muttered as she calmly peed into a plastic cup.
The three minutes between dipping the stick and getting an answer were the longest three minutes of Nadia’s entire life. Three minutes was nothing in the grand scheme of an entire day. The length of a song, a stoplight, a commercial break. But in that moment, with her thoughts running rampant, three minutes felt like three days. And then finally, it appeared.
YES+
Her breathing quickened and stuttered, her face felt hot, and suddenly, the room began to spin. “Fuck,” she croaked out quietly. And then a spattering of curse words came tumbling from her mouth. “Fuck me, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, oh my fucking god, what the fuck. Shit.” She covered her mouth, only to realize that her face was wet. She was crying. “What the fuck.”
Hands shaking, she rose from her seat, located her phone in her purse on the couch, and called Justin. It was almost 1:00 AM, so not too late, but the probability of him answering was still pretty low. But she didn’t know what else to do. It was most certainly his, as she hadn’t had sex with anyone but him all summer. Calling him was the logical thing to do.
He didn’t answer, and she knew he wouldn’t, but it still made her cry even harder. She needed someone. Something.
Nadia swiftly made her way upstairs, where Alejandra was sitting upright in bed, wide awake. All that sneaking around quietly for no reason. “Hey,” she greeted her morosely.
“Where have you been?” Alex frowned.
“I had to run an errand.” She spoke softly, which she was not typically known for.
“Were you with him?” Alex refused to say Justin's name, and her references to him always sounded like she was spitting at him in the process.
Nadia chuckled sarcastically. “No, I wasn’t.”
“You’ve been crying…”
“Didn’t I ask you to stop trying to figure me out?”
“You did, but--.”
“So stop,” she directed, climbing into bed with her for the second time that day. She ran her thumb across Alex’s cheek, and it slowly trailed down to her lips. “Just sleep with me.”
And from the way she had been eyeing her mouth, Alex knew that Nadia did not mean that literally. She nodded in understanding, and without thinking about anything else, she motioned to pull off Nadia’s tank top, her bra, and dove in for a kiss.
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At 3:45, Nadia’s alarm was resounding throughout the room, and the two women awoke in one another’s arms. Nadia felt a rush of sadness course through her body when she realized that her entire night hadn’t been a weird, bad dream. Nonetheless, she rolled out of Alejandra’s clutches and began her usual morning routine.
Walking into her bathroom, she turned on the light and was met with the sight of her beautiful naked body. She had always been slim and svelte, resembling what most would consider a supermodel. She stared at herself, pondering over how odd it would be to watch her body morph over the next 9 months. If she decided to keep it, of course.
“Nadia?” Alex was calling out to her after noting that she was just standing there.
“What?”
“Are you all right?”
Her wandering thoughts evaporated and she motioned to run her bath before answering. “I’m fine,” she lied. She moved towards her closet, picking out a pair of jeans and a tee to wear to work. On shitty days like that, she was thankful there was no need for a dress code on the radio.
“Last night was… fun,” Alex commented with a sleepy smile. “I’m glad I was here when you came home.”
Nadia just looked at her and headed back for the bathroom.
Alex followed behind, heading for the toilet while Nadia stepped into her bathtub. “Listen, I know there’s something going on. So you can keep avoiding me if you want to, but I’m not gonna give up on trying to understand.”
“Alex…” She sighed as she settled into the warm water, feeling a calm for the first time in four hours.
“Say something.”
“Now isn’t the time.”
“When will it be?”
“Shouldn’t you be at work or something?”
“I’m off until tonight,” she retorted quickly. “Please, Nadia. You’re so quiet, you’re so unlike yourself. I’m just worried.”
“I get that. But I don’t want you to worry about me. I liked it better when you hated me.”
“What the fuck, Nadia.”
“I’m sorry, but I did. I don’t like this version of you.” Nadia heard her start to sniffle and she was instantly annoyed. “Oh, fuck,” she muttered.
“I hate this,” Alex cried softly. “It’s so fucked up how you take me off the shelf like this and then put me back.”
“I’m trying to be honest with you.”
“You throw me a crumb and I’m hooked. It’s pathetic,” she was shaking her head.
“What do you want from me, Alex? You’re a friend. And if we can’t be friends, I do understand, but I’d like to be.”
“Yeah, until things are good with him again, and then you don’t know me. I don’t know why I keep falling for it.”
“And I don’t know why I keep doing this to you.” Nadia was crying too now. “God, I’m such a cunt.” And ordinarily, that wouldn’t bother her. But now that she was pregnant, she was questioning everything. How would she raise a child to be a good person when she couldn’t be one herself?
“You love me, Nadia.”
“Yeah… until I hate you.”
“I’ll do better,” she promised.
It was so pitiful, all of it. Nadia wanted to scream and shake some sense into her. Why didn’t she understand that she was too good for this? “Alex, no. Do better for someone else. I’m not your happy ending, girl.”
“You could be.”
She quickly splashed her face in warm water, and stared over to the crying, begging beauty before her. So vulnerable, sitting there naked, and probably cold. She wanted anything from someone who wanted to give her nothing, and it was so, so sad. “Alex, I’m pregnant,” she blurted out.
Alex blinked several times, trying to process the words, but all she could say in response was, “You’re lying.”
“Okay,” she shrugged.
“Nadia. Seriously.”
“The test is still on the sink in the downstairs bathroom.”
“Nadia!”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I’m assuming it’s his,” she asked tearfully.
Nadia nodded regretfully.
“Wow.” Wiping the sadness from her face, she slowly came to terms with the news and stood from her seat with her heart in her hands. “I, umm… I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t congratulate me.”
“Are you keeping it?”
Nadia shrugged again.
“I guess there’s nothing to say then, huh.”
“Guess not.”
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Back in the Hamptons, Justin and Mila were the only two of the wedding attendants that remained in the Levitt home. Everyone else had returned to their home cities to prepare for work that day, but Justin and Mila obviously had no day jobs, and were free to lounge for as long as they wanted. And that was exactly what they did.
“Justin!” Mila was yelling through the house, much in the same way that she used to. Without anyone else there, including the staff, it felt a bit like the old days.
“What!”
“Breakfast!” She was piling a spinach and feta omelet on a plate for him when he entered the ostentatious kitchen. “Hey.”
“Hey,” he grinned, looking refreshed and content. “I was wondering where you’d disappeared to.”
“I thought you could use some nourishment before we headed back to the city.”
“That was very thoughtful of you.” He willfully accepted the plate and grabbed two glasses from the sink for the two of them. “Cranberry juice good?”
“I’m just gonna have my coffee,” she declined, inwardly smirking at the fact that she was still drinking the brew that Nadia deemed forbidden.
“Very well.” He grabbed her plate as well, along with utensils, and headed for the breakfast table. He poured her a glass of cranberry juice anyway, because as always, he knew that he knew best.
“God, you’re such an asshole,” she giggled, taking her seat at the table. “You are so lucky I don’t feel like fighting.”
“That’s a first.”
“How’s your omelet?”
“A little salty, but… I’ll live.”
She rolled her big eyes at his obsession with being health-conscious. “Sometimes I can’t believe how anal you are.”
“I’ve been this way for years.”
“Doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.”
“So judgmental, Kunis.”
“I didn’t change my name back yet,” she revealed casually.
“You never used my name, it’s not like it matters.”
“Yeah,” she agreed, “but legally, I’m still a Timberlake. Weird, huh?”
“Honestly, it’s more weird that you ever were one,” he smiled. “Along with everything else that’s happened this weekend…”
“Yeah, we did kind of go crazy, huh?”
“To say the least.”
“Just so you know… I have to tell James.”
He frowned at the idea of her sharing that secret unless she was planning to end her engagement as well. “Really?”
She shrugged and immediately began to avoid Justin’s gaze. “If we’re gonna make it, I have to be honest with him, yeah.”
“Oh…”
“I don’t wanna make the same mistakes I did with you.”
“No, I get that. I umm… that’s commendable, I guess.”
She began to eat her food, a bit hesitant to ask him the question that was really on her mind for some reason. “Are you gonna tell Nadia?”
He scoffed at the mere mention of her name. “Why would I do that?”
“I dunno. I don’t know what you two tell each other.”
“I told you we’re not speaking to each other.”
“Oh shit, you did tell me that.”
“Don’t act like that’s not the only reason you’ve been fucking me these past two days,” he smiled coolly.
“You’re so crass.”
“Don’t forget how well I know you, Mila.”
“I was very much reminded last night and the night before,” she grinned, illuminating her entire face. And then her phone illuminated, vibrating against the table. It was James. “Shit, excuse me a sec.”
“Sure.”
“Hi, baby,” she answered brightly, hopping up from their clandestine breakfast.
“Milena, bella mia,” he greeted her for the first time in four days. “I’ve missed you. How was the wedding?”
“I’ve missed you too,” she grinned into the phone as she stared out the window to the ocean. “And it was fuckin’ gorgeous, of course. And everyone asked about you.”
“Yeah right,” he chuckled. “We'll have to take the happy couple on a trip sometime."
"Oh yeah, like you'd ever take a vacation," she rolled her eyes playfully. "How was your weekend?"
"Busy and boring," he sighed. "Everything is cool with your previous ‘situation?’” he wondered about Justin.
“Yeah,” she decided to lie, glancing over to him as she did so. “I mean, we didn’t really cross paths much, but hey, we got through it, he’s gone, I’m heading home in a few, and… that’s all there is.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there, you know.”
“You were missed.”
“That’s good to hear,” he was obviously smiling. “So I’m at the airport now, I should be in the city in about six hours. Let’s have dinner?”
“Absolutely.” She was smiling as well. “Il Buco?”
“At eight.”
“I’ll pencil it in.”
“I’ll see you soon.” And then he was gone.
With a sigh of content, she returned to the table just in time to watch Justin finish his breakfast. He looked up at her as if he was in on some secret she wasn’t.
“What?” she wondered loudly.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Yeah, but you’re smirking like a jackass. What is it?”
“It’s nothing,” she shrugged. “You just… you didn’t tell him.”
“Well. I mean, I wasn’t gonna do it over the phone.”
“Uh huh.” He got up from the table, still smirking like his life depended on it. “So I guess you’ll tell him at Il Buco.”
“You’re so fucking nosy!”
“You love it.”
“I’ll tell him when the time is right,” she assured him. “And I promise you, this weekend will not happen again.”
“Uh huh.”
“Justin, I’m fucking serious!”
“Right,” he was laughing. And then his own phone was vibrating against his thigh, which put his laughter to a halt. Was James calling him now? Had Mila tipped off her fiancé without him even knowing it? But no, he nervously pulled out his phone to see Nadia’s sultry simper staring back at him.
It was 10:08, so she had obviously just gotten off air, and it was the second time she had called that morning. He would be lying if he said he didn’t wonder what she wanted, but he wasn’t in the mood to deal with whatever it was. He only had a few more hours with Mila, and he wanted to enjoy them. He pressed the Ignore button and went back to his conversation.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hi all! Super busy week, sorry I haven't updated sooner. This chapter is kinda blah, but... it's necessary. So sorry! But talk to me anyway lol.
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