Thanksgiving

I pull her sneakers and socks off, giving her a tired, but happy smile as I toss them on the floor.  “Better?”  

“So much better.”

I continue to rub her aching feet as she props them up on my lap.  We’ve been bringing her things into the apartment, and unpacking them, since school officially broke for the Thanksgiving holiday on Tuesday afternoon.  Now, a day and a half later, we’ve finally finished the task.  I’m exhausted, and I know that she is too, but we can’t rest for long.  We have to be up early tomorrow morning, go to her parents house to pick up Ava and eat breakfast before we head over to Carters for a Thanksgiving meal and festivities.  He insisted we come, said we were family and he wouldn’t spend the holiday without us, and since Ava begged to go because she loves playing with Lucas and Ashley, Val compromised, said she’d give up Thanksgiving dinner with her folks and the rest of her family, as long as we could spent all of Christmas with them.  

Of course I agreed.  

I’d do anything for her, just like she’d do anything for me.

Her family met me a long time ago, maybe three or four months into our relationship.  She’s the third oldest out of six kids, all boys.  Her brothers are scattered throughout the country with the exception of the youngest, who is in his senior year of high school.  The moment I sat down at their dinner table, I could tell what kind of family they were.  Close, and loving.  Tragedy had never touched their home, and I guess it’s probably why Val has the personality that she does.  Her mother has the same one, loves to laugh, and has accepted me with open arms.  Her father is a little gruffer, at least he tried to come off that way, but he faltered quickly when Val started to tell him how much she cared about me.  One look at my daughter that night, turned him into a big softie too.  He loves to put her on his lap and talk to her whenever we go there, and her mother constantly invites Ava into the kitchen to help her with something.  It usually involves licking a big spoon with homemade chocolate frosting on it, too.  Once in a while they’ll take her for a couple of days.  They did this week, after I casually asked for the favor.  With all the moving in and boxes, I was afraid Ava would get lost in the mix, or hurt.  Of course they said yes, and I pulled my daughter out of school a day early so she could go up there.  I think it’s good for Ava, spending all that time with Jenn and Garret.  Right now, they’re the closest thing she has to grandparents.

Lately, Garret has been pulling me aside whenever we visit, talking to me a lot about life, being a man.  Val and I both know what it means of course.

He thinks I’m about to marry her, and while Val laughs it off...I know different.

I know that his instincts are right.

“You happy, baby?”

She gives me a lazy smile, her eyes only half open.  “So happy.”

I lean in and kiss her deeply.  I know it’s the right move, her coming to live with us.  It took a couple of months, because her rent was paid up until the middle of November, and we decided it was better that she didn’t waste the money.  We used the time to pack her stuff and stage it here, and then my girlfriend decided she wanted to re decorate my place before she moved in.  I have to admit, it looks a million times better now that she added her feminine flair to the place.  Everything looks newer, bolder, and the way she rearranged all the furniture has made the rooms seem bigger too, crazy as it is, because the place is so tiny.

I’m so glad she’s going to be here, permanently, after today.  Ava is so excited that she hasn’t been able to stop talking about it, and in turn, it’s been even harder trying to get her in bed at night.  It’s been torture getting her up for school, and I’m more thankful about the school holiday than ever.  Val has helped to make process easier for me of course, preventing me from losing my mind or flipping out on my daughter.  She’s completely on board when it comes to raising my daughter, and lately, she’s been acting more like a mother to Ava than ever before.  She seemed to melt into the role, once plans were set in place for her to come live here.  Val treats my daughter like she’s her own now, without a question.

And I’d like to think that Deb can rest in peace now, knowing our daughter will always have people in her life she can turn to.  I’ve done almost everything she asked of me before she passed away, fixed my life, fixed Ava, found my soulmate...

I just haven’t made contact with my mother yet.  I’ve put it off, forgotten about it, because of everything else that’s been on my mind, and I guess...it’ll have to be that way for now.  Even though things are coming together really well, I still find myself trying to settle into this new lifestyle I’ve made for myself, at times. School has been hectic the past few weeks.  I had five final exams to study for and pass, if I hoped to move on to my new courses in January.  It was stressing me out, but of course my friends were there for me, helping me study.  It’s no secret that I suck at memorization, but with their help, I scraped by and passed them all. Carter is proud, and recently, a spot has opened up at the bank.  A good one, assistant lead teller.  It’s one step below head teller, and I’m positive I know enough at the bank now that I’d be good at the job.

He says we’ll see what happens after the holiday season, but I’m positive I’ll be getting the position.  I’ve talked to his boss several times since I was hired, and he takes me seriously now, knows I’m working hard to further my career and move up the chain there.  If everything works out the way Carter has explained, I should be able to put a down payment on a house by the end of next year.  It will be perfect too, because the lease will be up by then, and I can move on, leaving Adam with nothing to worry about.

He’s moving, not right away, but soon.  His work is taking him overseas, and he’s told me that it’s the best thing for his business at this stage.  It sucks.  I mean, after all he’s done for me, I’ve barely spent that much free time with the guy.  We’ve had the occasional dinner, but other than that, he’s always been working.  I know he misses Deb too, and I’m convinced it’s a big part of the reason why he keeps his distance from us.  He doesn’t want to fall back into depression again, like he did when she passed away, and I can’t blame him.

Losing the person you love is hard.

I should know, although, she’s not a part of my life anymore.  Betsy...what can I say? She’s so far gone, and that night when I confronted her and she did everything she could to push me away, I knew she would never be the person I used to care about again.  The drugs warped her brain, like they always did...to anybody who fell for them.  Preston had warped her too, but she wasn’t about to let me help her.  She wasn’t about to let anybody else do it either, and since I had my daughter to think about, Val to think about, I knew I couldn’t let her get to me, bring me down.  

I had to move on, as hard as it was, as much as I knew a part of me would always miss that Betsy Collins who had rescued me from so much.

We don't speak.  I'm over Carter's constantly too, and when we pass by each other, it's like the other one isn't there.  Occasionally she'll come into the bank to see Carter, but even then, we don't acknowledge each other.  They're doing slightly better, getting their relationship somewhat back on track, although I can tell he's still really hard on her.

But somebody has to be, because I don't have the time to care.

I’m in love with someone else now, completely, and the only other time in my life I can remember being so happy, was when that judge gave me my daughter back.

Val and Ava.  They’re all I’ll ever need.

Last month, I met up with Trace after work one day and we went to a couple of jewelry stores nearby.  I wanted his input because he’d done it before, gone ring shopping for Kate.  I plan on asking Val to marry me really soon, started making payments weeks ago, on a diamond to put on her finger.  I remember the moment it hit me, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.  We were at Ava’s Halloween pageant at school.  Val was holding up her Ipad, smiling as she took video of every movement my daughter was making up on stage.  Her face was all lit up, like it was the best thing she’d done all week, and she couldn’t stop pointing out the littlest things to me that she loved about Ava as she danced around the stage, dressed as a witch.

I knew then, that I wanted her as my daughters mother more than anything else.

And yeah...I guess I wanted to be married to her too.  It wasn’t something that kept me awake at night, or something I had second thoughts about.  It was just...fact.  I was going to marry Valerie, as long as she’d have me, and that was that.  

I put the final deposit down on the ring a couple of days ago, took it home with me, and have safeguarded it like a psycho so my daughter won’t find it and lose it...or show it to Val.   It’s not from Cartier or Tiffany’s, but...it’s the best I could afford with my budget.   The lady at the store told me I had good taste, that she thought the stone was perfect.  Of course, I knew it was her job to say that, but something told me that Val would love what I had gotten her.  She’s not very materialistic, likes simple things, and I think it will suit her, if she’ll wear it.

Tonight, it’s inside the box, hidden in my pocket, but I just...I don’t know if this is the right time or place to do this.  I had it pictured in my mind, that we would be out at a nice restaurant or something, but...that seems so made for TV.  She’s at her happiest now, sitting here with her sweaty feet on my lap as I rub her aches and pains away.  We’re not real formal people, we’ll never be...and maybe, maybe it’s time that I ask her, because I’m a hundred percent sure about this, and I don’t want to take the chance of chickening out.  What’s more, we’re alone tonight...a rare occurrence that I should take advantage of.

“Val.”

Her eyes are closed, but she smiles.  “Hm.”

“I...”  I reach in my pocket and wrap my fingers around the little velvet box.  

“Justin?”

I laugh lightly.  “I love you, so much, Val.”

She laughs and gives me a weird look.  “Well, I love you too.” She leans in and gives me a soft kiss, before staring back into my eyes.  “What else is wrong.  You seem...nervous or something.”

“Well...yeah, I am a little bit,” I smile and feel myself blush.  

“If it’s about seeing the rest of my family at breakfast tomorrow, don’t sweat it.  They’re all prepared and excited to meet you Justin.  You’ll fit right in.”

“That’s not it.”

She cocks her head to the side, and a playful smirk pulls at her lips.  “What is it,” she whispers.

I pull her hand and she sits up a little bit, laughing lightly, probably thinks I ‘m losing my mind.  It wouldn’t be the first time.  Taking in a small breath, I pull the box out of my pocket, and she stares at it for a while, before looking back at me, covering her hand with her mouth, her eyes wide.

“Valerie...” I pause and smile as I look down at the box and open it up, revealing the gleaming diamond inside.  “Can I ask you something?”  I pull the ring out and pull her hand towards me.  

“Justin...”

I look up, into her eyes, and see her smiling, crying.  I know I’ve shocked the hell out of her, but I know...I know she wants this too.

“Marry me?” I whisper, putting my face up to hers.  

“God, yes.” She sniffles it, and smiles through her tears as she wipes them off of her face.

I don’t think, I just slip the ring on her finger and pull her to me, kissing her deeply, and passionately as she falls apart again and sobs into my chest.  We get carried away, strip, and make love right there, in the middle of my living room.  After, I hold her against my chest, breathing harshly as my heart continues to thud inside of my chest.  She gazes back at me, smiling, like our lives are completely perfect now.  That she couldn’t ask for anything more.

“I love you,” she rasps, tiredly.

I kiss her forehead.  “I love you.”

I know I’m complete now.  My life, as I know it, will be completely different after tonight.  We won’t just be Ava, Justin and Valerie anymore.

We’ll be a family, forever.