From what the doctors could gather from an extremely delirious Justin, he’d been lying in that alley since late Thursday night. They told us that he was probably beat up for the little bit of money he had on him, and left to fend for himself. It’s horrifying, and I know he’s lucky we found him...because if we hadn’t...
I don’t want to think about it.
I’ve been trying not to blame myself for this, while I’ve been here in the waiting room all these hours. Trace has been sitting directly across from me, looking just as guilty as I feel. We’re both thinking: If only he hadn’t kicked Justin out, if only I hadn’t confronted Justin like some mad woman...if only...maybe he wouldn’t be lying in that hospital bed right now.
His doctor said that he’s in horrible shape. Justin has a broken leg, two cracked ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and a concussion, to start off with. I know it’s going to take time, weeks...maybe months, for him to get back on his feet. That’s time that he doesn’t have. Everything was riding on him fixing his life before his six month deadline, and now...now he’ll be lucky if he has a month to get a full time job and a place to live.
It’s not fair, but life isn’t fair, at least...that’s what they teach us in DCF.
If I was playing by the rules, I would have been on the phone with my boss hours ago, scheduling a court date to snatch Justin’s parental rights away from him for his lack of a job and a home. My battle would have been won, I could have closed the case and moved on, reassured that Ava would be placed in a proper home.
But all of that, it’s the furthest thing from my mind.
I just can’t bring myself to do it...to destroy Justin’s world, and I know that means Carter was right. I’m in way too deep, and it’s not good, not professional, but I can’t turn my back on the situation now.
I think I might be...starting to care about him a little bit. Like a friend.
It’s too insane to think about, and I’m more thankful than ever when the doctor comes out again to give us an update. Trace perks up right away, and stares at him hopefully, while I just sit quietly and wait for the inevitable.
“He’s a little more coherent now,” the doctor starts. “He’s beginning to remember what happened to him, for the most part, and doesn’t seem to have suffered any serious brain damage. The drug tests also came out clean, Ms. Collins. I can give you the paperwork on that if you’d like.”
Trace and I seem to let out a relieved breath at the same time.
“Yes. Thank you,” I whisper.
“Can I see him?” Trace speaks up quickly.
“You can,” he nods. “But...” he trails off and looks at me for a long moment. “He actually requested to speak with Betsy first.”
To say that I’m shocked is an understatement, and when I meet Trace’s gaze again, I can tell that he’s a little hurt, and let down. He plops down into the chair, and refuses to look anywhere but the floor.
“Are you sure it’s not the concussion talking?” I ask, sheepishly.
The doctor laughs. “He was pretty firm with me.”
“Oh...”
“Might want to hurry before he falls asleep on us again,” the doctor smiles at me. “He’s got a lot of meds being pumped into him.”
I just nod nervously, stealing one more glance at a defeated Trace, before rising out of my chair and following the doctor back down the long white hallway. We stop mid way in front of a door, and when it’s opened for me, it seems to take me years to step inside. For a while, I just stand in the entranceway, staring at him as he lies in that bed, wrapped in gauze and bandages, seemingly buried in a sea of tubes and strange machines. His broken leg has been positioned in a contraption that hangs in the air, and his injured arm has been extended out to the side so he can’t move it around.
I feel a tear slide down my face, and quickly make myself wipe it away, suck it up...because he needs me to be that strong, serious woman he’s always known at the moment. Taking in a deep breath, I force myself to walk into the room and over to his bedside. One look at his face makes my stomach drop. His right eye is completely swollen shut, and his head is wrapped in bandages from the forehead on up. The rest of his face is covered in deep purple, yellow and blue welts, and I can’t imagine the type of pain he must be in, but still, I force a small smile for him. “Hey.”
His good eye opens a little more, and he tries to sit up, but groans.
“Just...sit still.” I put a gentle hand on his good shoulder. “You’re hurt really bad.”
“I k-know.” He grits out painfully, barely able to open his mouth all the way.
I pull up a chair, and sit by his side as he takes a few moments to regain some type of strength, before he says anything else.
“Collins.”
It’s barely more than a whisper, but I’m able to hear it. “Yeah?”
“Are you...go-going to take h-her away?”
God, Justin. Not now. “Don’t think about that right now.”
“But...now y-you know wh..what’s been going on...w-with me.”
I put my head in my hands. Jesus, why does my job have to be so damn hard? “We’ll figure something out.”
“Don’t sit...don’t sit there and...” He starts to cough harshly, wincing in pain.
“Justin...” I reach out and touch his face, so I can calm him down. “Stop. You’re making yourself worse.”
He sinks back into his pillows, clearly frustrated. I can see the tears traveling down his black and blue face, and I know...I know he doesn’t care what happened to him. His first thought is for Ava, and that shouldn’t be surprising me so much.
He loves her.
He loves her and my job is to see to it that he doesn’t get her back, because according to the state Justin is “highly unfit.” It’s actually stamped on his case file, and if my boss had her way, Ava would have been adopted out a long time ago. How can I break it to him though? How can I tell him that this mishap is only going to make it that much more impossible for him to have a life with his daughter?
“D-don’t...do-don’t take my g-girl, Collins. P-please.”
Fuck.
What the hell do I do?
“I’m not taking her away, Justin.” I give his hand a reassuring squeeze, and make sure to look him in the eyes. There’s an understanding in the one that’s open, like he believes me...like he’s putting his full trust in me for the very first time. I know he’s counting on me to help him, because I’m the only one that really can. “I’ll make some calls and do what I can.”
He smirks painfully. “I-I’m sorry that I r-ran.”
I shake my head. “Don’t be. Just rest, okay? I’ll come see you later on.”
“S-send Trace.”
“Okay.”
“Collins.”
I look back at him, see him staring back at me, and I take a deep breath. “Yeah?”
“T-thanks for...coming to find me.”
I walk out of there quick, so I don’t start sobbing in front of him. Trace sees me come back into the waiting area, and stands straight up, crossing his arms and giving me a look like I’m the Wicked Witch of the West.
“Well?”
I suck in a breath. “He wants to see you.”
“What’d you say to him?”
“Nothing...he was just concerned about Ava.”
“I bet you’re all set to run to your bosses with this, right? Tell them that Justin’s been living on the street for a couple of weeks, so he doesn’t deserve to be with his kid, even though he stayed clean the whole time.”
“No...”r32;
“I know how you people work,” he grunts. “If you’re gonna do it, do it fast, Collins. The faster you do it, the less he has to suffer. I’ll make sure he gets himself together again.”
“I’m not doing anything!” I yell at him. “I never said I was! Give me a break here, Trace! If you’d thought a little bit, maybe he would have had someplace to go before he wound up in the street!”
“He told me he was staying with his mom!”
“Why didn’t you check?”
He gives me an angry glare. “I’m his sponsor, not his babysitter. That’s Tammy’s job, and she’s been MIA with her ten thousand other cases for the past month. Regardless of what happened, or what I should have done, isn’t it your job to report all of this?”
I rub my tears away, not being able to hold back my emotions from him any longer. “Fuck my job.”
I walk away after that, leaving Trace staring after me, dumbfounded. It occurs to me as I lock myself inside a bathroom stall that I’ve completely crossed the line today.
That I could be fired for what I’m doing, lose the job that I’ve worked so hard to succeed at, all for the sake of some guy who I shouldn’t have a soft spot for in the first place. I lean my head back against the stall door, think about why it is that Justin Timberlake stands out from the rest. Why I like him, why I drop everything to make sure he and his daughter okay.
And I know the real reason.
It’s because he’s exactly like my father was when he was trying to get clean, and Ava...she’s exactly like I was at ten years old. They have a fighting chance, just like we did...until we were forced apart by a heartless DCF worker. We never had a chance, because the state didn’t want to give us one, and my father’s solution was to turn back to drugs because he lost both of his children in a single shot. By the time Carter and I were adopted, he was so far gone he barely remembered us.
I won’t let it happen to them.
My phone starts to ring, and as I pull it out of my pocket I find myself praying that it’s not my boss. I take another deep breath before answering, composing myself for whoever it is. “Betsy Collins.”r32;
“Hey Bets.”
Preston. I sigh with relief, and forget about the fact that I haven’t heard from him in days. It’s what I need right now, to talk to the one person that loves me more than anything in the world. “Hey baby. I’ve been worried about you.”
“Yeah, I’m really sorry I missed your calls. Things have just been so crazy around here with the media and everything. How are you?”
“Good. Keeping busy at work.”
It’s not a total lie.
“Great.”
“Yeah I’ve been...”
“So listen,” he cuts me off, and I doubt he even heard me trying to talk to him. “I might not make it home this month.”
“What?”
“I’ll have a ton of paperwork that I need to catch up on over the weekends. It’s just easier for me if I stay here. You understand, Bets, right? I mean, I told my mom and she said that you can spend the time with her, making wedding plans and going shopping. You can use my Amex. I put your name on the account and left it with my mom.”
Spending my weekends with Sandra sounds entirely too nauseating, and to be honest, I’d rather sleep in my nieces bed every night of the week, even though she kicks me all night long. “Are you sure you can’t come home at all?”
“I really...I really can’t do it.”
It’s silent. Strange, I thought he would have wanted to spend at least a little bit of time with me. “Don’t you want to see me?”
“You know it’s not about that baby. It’s business, and you know if I fell behind on the case my father would kick my ass.”
It’s a pathetic excuse. “Yeah.”
“You understand that I don’t really want to stay here for a straight month, don’t you? All I want is to be with you.”
“I...I understand, Pres,” I say glumly.
“That’s my girl.” I hear him smiling. “How about I call you tomorrow night, okay? Right now I have to have dinner with my client, but I didn’t want to just leave you hanging.”
“Sure,” I force a pleasant tone. “Have a good time.”
“Hey, I love you, okay? You know I love you.”
“I love--”
He clicks off before I can finish saying it, and I stare back at the phone in my hand, my disbelief too much to describe.
That’s never happened before. Usually I would say it back, and we’d spend the next twenty minutes being goofballs on the phone with each other.
But not today, and I know...I know I should have seen this coming from the beginning.
I feel a pulsing pain my stomach, thumping harder and harder due to what’s happened today and the fact that my fiance has let me down, once again. Then the bile begins to rise in my throat, and I turn to the toilet, brace myself, and proceed to vomit all my stresses away, sobbing like a fool, the twinkle of the huge diamond on my finger glinting in the corner of my eye, mocking me the entire time.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's another one, thanks for reading everybody!
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