"Are you sure about this, Nick?" I ask him, putting my left foot on the car door pocket and getting more comfortable a few minutes after leaving our house for LA & Beverly Hills to see Oshai and his old group mates.
He sighs. "Yeah, I guess you could say that I am. The 5 of them are like your family and best friends so I feel like they deserve to know why you were gone for so long without constant contact."
I feel his hand on my thigh, squeezing gently to reassure himself more than me. I smile at the gesture and I hear a song I haven't heard in a long time, Paramore's 'Pressure'. I reach for the radio and he turns it up, being much more attentive since quitting. "Kinda sums up your addictions," I comment when the song ends.
"Mmm, yeah."
Next song I hear is 'That's What You Get' and laugh. "I found my 'Riot!' album." He changes the disc in the CD player, 'Never Let This Go' playing and I take a deep breath. All my emotions are a whirlwind and this song voices them perfectly, I dart my hand out to change it.
He grabs my hand, knowing damn well I only do this when a song matches me emotionally or mentally and holds onto it, his fingers tangling between mine. He listens to every last word, not paying attention to anything else and he rubs the back of my hand with his thumb. "Was I that different?" His voice is shaky, unsure of whether he wants the truth to be spoken and I hear him swallow his nerves.
"You were like Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll, Hyde was you high and Jekyll when you're not. For the past few months you've been Jekyll, I've got to accept the man I fell for all those years ago is making his comeback and I wouldn't want you to be anything but the Nick I knew back then. I've missed you and love you, please don't go back to the bastard the monster had created. Keep it away from me."
He's silent, mulling it over in his mind and trying to understand me better. "Do we have videos?"
"Yes, I gave them to James and told him not to watch them."
"Has he?"
"No, he hasn't." I smile.
"How would you know?"
"He would have called with hundreds of questions."
We discussed various things that we deal with on a regular basis, laughing at most of it. We just pulled up to James' and I put in the code, driving up to his house before we get out of the car. "You made it alive," James taunts us, smirking as he leans over his front porch railing in his pajamas.
"Shut up, traffic was horrid."
He walks down the steps onto his grassy lawn, he always had a nice yard. He greets us the same as always. "I have the box in the living room."
"Thanks," I nod and we head in. I notice Nick hasn't said anything since getting here. "What's up?"
"Do we have to watch them with him?"
"Not if you don't want to."
"Well, I don't," he barks and I shoot him an icy glare.
"Don't even start," I harshly whisper.
"Whoa! Not here," James warns us both, his hands in a defensive manner and a stern look etched into his face.
"Sorry, James."
"I didn't mean to disrespect you," Nick says.
"Nick wants to watch them when we're alone."
"Understandable. What's on them?"
"Too much to list," I tease.
His face twists up in a way that expresses his uncertainty of whether he really wants to know. "I'm curious, but I'll pass."
I chortle at this display and grab the box of 25 tapes, holding them in front of me. "You'll understand why when Nick's ready to tell you."
James nods and walks us out of his beautiful home, encouraging us to visit him again. We get to the car and I put the box in the back seat, noticing some photos from a long time ago. I spot a few magazines in the plethora of shit in the open top box and I smirk, shaking my head as I get in. "What?" he asks. Nick has always been quiet around James for some reason and I don't even know why.
"James stuck some extra shit in the box and I just saw it."
"Who now?"
"Timbs."
"Why?"
"Chris is there, too," I inform him, turning to key and the engine softly purrs.
"This one is going to be fun," he groans.
"We can just head to Aaron's or Ange's," I offer.
"No, that's okay." He's quiet for a few minutes. "Can I change the CDs?"
"Sure, it's your car, too."
"You bought it."
"You put it in your name. We go over this every single time."
"Makes things more interesting," he teases me, a smile in his voice.
I look over at him. "Makes you more of a dork."
"I am not a whale's dick," he argues.
"Then you're a nerd."
"Yeah, yours." He kisses my cheek.
How the hell does he always win these? We pull up to Justin's massive abode, stride up to the door and call his cell which I know that he has on him at all times. "Hey, JazzBean," he greets.
"Open your front door, I gotta talk to you, ceann pota."
"I am not a pot head."
"Than you're in the fucking closet, child."
"I'm older than you."
"So? I'm more intelligent."
"Who fucking lied to you?"
"That might be you."
I hear his feet on the other side of the door and the lock click, hanging up on me at the same time. "Hahaha, you so funny," he says in his mock Asian voice, rolling his eyes. "How does a college grad with three degrees date him?" Justin retorts.
"I have a brain that contains more information within it than your pencil tip sized one does," Nick quips and I laugh with Trace who had appeared behind Justin. One thing proves my intelligence-I didn't drop like a dead weight to the floor with laughter, I held myself up with Nick's help.
Both of them smirk at each other before greeting each other. "How have you been?"
"Better, but healing. I'll fill you in inside."
"Old man here?" I ask and Justin points in the direction of the yard. "Figures."
"He's been left alone for more than 30 seconds, be careful."
"I know."
Turns out Trace overheard a phonecall Oshai had with me months ago and told Justin, but Chris had been kept in the dark. I shoved Trace in the pool and Oshai didn't know Trace had even listened in on the call. I walk right into my brother's house. "Oshai!" I listen for his response, but hear nothing. "Tyler?" Again nothing. I text Oshai. 'WTF! Where r u?'
A couple minutes later I get 'studio' from him.
'Basement?'
'Nope, the moon'
I lead Nick into the basement and have just enough time to talk to him before we head over to Joey's. Something is eating at him. "What are you hiding, Oshai?"
"I told Joe."
"Figured as much," I say, nodding my head. 'I know u know.'
Joey responds with 'Don't kill C'.
We hang out for a little bit before heading for Joey's around 3:30.
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