The end of a blue pen tapped rhythmically against a yellow memo pad as Justin sat behind a school desk in the large situation room on base. It was a Monday morning, about 8am, and the sun was finally sitting high in the sky. Its warm rays were trying to pierce through the closed blinds, but only the smallest of beams were able to pass through. The room was dark, the only light coming from the images being projected onto a white canvas at the front of the room. The entire 23rd regiment was being briefed on the upcoming deployment, and while it was in Justin's better interest to pay close attention - he couldn't. His cobalt eyes took in the images on the screen, but not in grave detail; his mind was occupied by other thoughts.

Morgan.

He hadn’t talked to her in the last couple of days since the incident occurred, and this was the longest they'd gone without talking since he'd met her. Justin was haunted by the look on her face after he unknowingly attacked her in the middle of one of his nightmares. He still cringed at the thought of having hurt someone he cared about so much. Ever since, every night for him had been sleepless - which didn’t help with his PTSD; something she still knew nothing about.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell her, he just didn’t know how. It was a matter he generally kept very private. In the military, having PTSD wasn't looked down upon - it was known as one of the 'invisible wounds' of combat. But, even though the other troops didn't lose respect for you, having a reputation for it would probably cost you a promotion, and maybe even your current platoon leadership. Being demoted was something Justin couldn't handle. He didn’t want to come off as a weak individual with a mental problem, because he wasn’t crazy and didn’t want her or any other civilians thinking that he was. The morning after the incident he'd had the opportunity to tell her everything that was going on, but instead he froze and ignored the situation all together.

"You won't understand. If you haven't been through it, then you'll never get it."

"You don't know that! Please, tell me what happened-."

"Fuck, Morgan, what do you want to know? I went somewhere, people shot at me, I shotback, shit blew up, people died, I left, and now I'm fucked in the head. That's what happened, alright?"

Justin cringed at the memory. Morgan had only been trying to understand the reasoning behind what he'd done to her. Rather than opening up, he snapped at her and locked her out.

He knew that clamming up had probably -well not probably, definitely- made the situation worse. Now there was uneasiness, a strange and foreign tension between them. His heart was heavy because he definitely didn’t want to hurt her, or leave her in the dark about what was going with him when her life had basically been an open book to him. It was only fair that she knew, but he still didn’t know exactly how to go about it.

“Well son, you have to start somewhere. Sounds like she's trusted you with her secrets, now it's time for you to trust her with yours. This is something you both need to talk out together. You can't have much of a relationship without communication. But, I can tell you this: women are the most beautiful gift God can give a man, and no one is more deserving of that than you. Now that you have them, you have to treat them right. If you care for her, tell her. As you know, life is too short to just sit on the sideline hoping for something to happen. Sometimes you just got to take the proactive steps and make them happen - especially when you love her.”

This Marine wasn’t the best at communicating on such a raw, emotional level. He didn’t want to become unraveled in front of her; no longer looking like the protector, but like he needed to be protected from himself.

His eyes watched as the Base Commander motioned toward the map of regions that they would be going into during their deployment. Justin was still only half listening, but he knew there would be many more meetings of this nature in the future containing even more detail. He would get up to speed later. Besides, this wasn't his first time at the rodeo - he knew what to expect in the Middle East.
Justin's thoughts drifted back to Morgan and the conversation he'd had with his Dad. As usual, his Father was right. Justin really did care for Morgan, and would do anything to keep her and Chloe in his life, but he needed to take better care of himself. He had to start taking his medication on time, and get back into those therapy sessions his doctor was constantly asking about.

“It sounds to me like you genuinely care about this woman and her daughter. But, before you can take care of anyone you have to be able to take care of yourself, son.”

His heart started to beat faster at the mere thought of opening a deep can of emotional combat worms. He'd had a hard enough time doing it with the Marine counselor when he'd gotten state-side; he'd literally sweated through his undershirt and had a mental break down while dispelling every detail. It was like opening up a flood gate and watching himself drown. But he knew the more he kept it in, the more it would build and expand, and probably end up driving him crazy.

Using the sleeve of his uniform, he wiped the sweat from his forehead as he sat up in his chair and tried to shift his focus from the impending conversation he was going to have with Morgan.

“This mission won’t be as hostile as the others, but it is still of vital importance. As of now, we're not expecting any aggressive combat operations. As you know our President is trying his best to pull the majority of the Armed Forces out of certain regions, but it's imperative that we keep a strong military presence in some of these less stable areas.”

The Commander spoke sternly as he paced back and forth at the front of the room. When he was done he signaled for the lights to come back on and the screen to be turned off.

How could he say these missions weren’t as hostile as the others? Any mission during which you are putting your life in jeopardy was hostile and stressful. Justin could feel his shoulders and neck starting to tense up. There'd been so much going on in the past couple of days that sometimes he couldn’t feel himself breath under all the anxiety.

Slowly, his head began to pound from the neck up. He knew that a conversation with her was needed, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. In the mist of his thoughts, the Commander released them with a wave of his hand. Two hours had passed and Justin hadn't even realized it thanks to the mental battle going on in his mind. Sliding from behind the desk, he gathered his belongings and filed out of the room behind the other men. As he made his way down the hall he pulled out his cell phone and searched for Morgan’s named to sent a quick text.

“We need to talk.”

He pressed send and slipped the phone back into his pocket. As he approached the double doors that led to the mess hall, an arm slung around his shoulders. Justin turned his face to look at LCpl. Wilson, who was eyeing him with a grin.

“What’s up Staff Sergeant?” Wilson pulled back, raising in his hand in a casual salute as Justin chuckled.

“Lance Corporal.”

“Serge, you alright today? I noticed that you were a little zoned out in the meeting. Trouble in paradise?”

Wilson's face looked genuinely concerned. He was used to Timberlake being a tight lipped and stern man, but he'd noticed his unit leader rubbing his neck and shifting in his seat a lot during the meeting.

Justin let out a short sigh, shaking his head when Wilson pointed toward the food line in the mess hall. His head was too clouded to eat. He needed some air.

"Zoned out? Yeah, something like that. I just have a lot on my mind.”

Wilson clapped his hands together in confirmation.

"I knew it! You look like I do when Elaine and I get into something heated. Nothing like trading a war in the field for a war in your own home.”

The Staff Sergeant nodded in agreement as they pushed through the double doors and stepped out into the sunlight. Justin pulled his sunglasses from his jacket pocket and placed them over his eyes.

"Wilson, let me ask you something.”

“Anything Serge.”

They began a slow stroll across the large lawn towards the parking lot area.

"Forget the ranks for a minute, this just between me and you, marine to marine: how do you communicate with Elaine when you come back from a mission?”

“What you mean?”

Justin cleared his throat nervously.

"I mean, how did you tell her about everything that happened over there? How did you convey that to her?”

Wilson ran his hand over his buzz cut, and looked off in the distance for a moment.

"It wasn’t easy," he said. "I told myself that I would never let her know what happen over there. I figured it was the same thought process as when people go to Vegas. You know how the saying goes? What happens there, stays there? I tried to stick to that, just come home and focus on what was happening here.”

“How did that work out?”

The pair came to slow stop underneath a large Oak tree, shading them from the beaming sun. Justin turned to Wilson, folding his thick arms across his chest, and the shorter man chuckled, shaking his head.

"Marine to marine? It didn’t. Shit failed miserably. We fought a lot because she wanted to know everything I could afford to tell her. She ran out of things to tell me about, everything that had happened when I was gone, and she just wanted an even exchange. I just wanted to leave all that shit where it was and move onto something else - something happy. I felt like though the war was stressful enough - living it for those months - and I didn’t want to have to relive it again. I didn’t want her stressing over it again. I figured the less she knew, the better off we were. But, it only made our relationship worse. She told me it felt like I was keeping a big secret from her. A secret that affected me when it came to loud noises, abrupt movements, voices, sayings. Sometimes it seemed like I would drift off for no reason. One time we were in the truck together, just driving down the road, and we hit one of those little man holes in the ground, for PG&E or whatever. She didn't even notice it, but to me it felt like the roads in Baghdad, and in my mind I was back there with you and Chad, looking for that fucker Saddam with rounds whizzing past my head.”

Justin nodded, able to relate to Wilson's words. He'd never thought about it like that: his life being a secret. Maybe that was how Morgan felt - like he was keeping part of himself a secret. He had been keyed-in on all that was going on in her life and everything that had happened to her before him. All she wanted was a little of that in return - to know who he was, an explanation for the complicated man that stood before her every day. She wanted to know what haunted him in the middle of the night. It was normal to question why he'd damn near choked her to death. Who wouldn’t want to know why?

“It made me real uncomfortable for the longest time," Wilson continued. "But, I had a choice to make. I could fight with her, protect my pride, and ruin my family -everything I had fought so hard to come back to; or, I could confess, ruin my pride for awhile, and keep my family. My family is the most important thing to me and that's a battle I always want to win. When the war is over, and we're too old for deployments, they'll trade you and me in for a couple of fresh, eager 18 year olds, and all we'll have are memories, our girls, and our kids. Yeah, my pride was shot for awhile and I had to be all wussified, but if that’s the price I had to pay to keep my family together I will do it over and over again without a thought.”

The two men stood in silence, Justin soaking it all in. Wilson had made some real valid points, and by the looks of his family during Family Day he was winning the war at home. Whenever Justin saw them together, they were happy and in love. That was something that Justin wanted for himself, Morgan, and Chloe: to always be smiling, happy, and full of love. Not nervous and uneasy, unsure of when Justin would have another episode and what would happen.

Wilson interrupted Justin's thoughts one last time, raising a lone finger in the air as if he'd suddenly remember something.

“And another thing! After getting a lot of that stuff off my chest, we had some of the best sex I've ever had. Hands down!”

Justin smirked as he rolled his eyes and Wilson chuckled.

"Serge, if that isn’t motivation for you to open up to your ol' lady, then I don’t know what is. You need to get your pipes oiled up as much as possible before we head back out, because we all know how you get in the field, sir.”

Wilson gave Justin a rough slap on the back. Justin shoved him off roughly and playfully stocking back off to his car.

“Good day, Wilson.”

He pulled his phone from his pocket again, dialing a long distance number. There was an important favor he needed to ask an old friend.

Morgan's eyes flicked up from the text message, watching Chloe's head as she bobbed back and forth on the sofa. The child was perfectly content in her own little world, quietly singing along to the OneDirection song playing in her headphones. Turning her eyes back to her phone, the words seemed to pop off the screen.

"We need to talk."

That phrase was the kiss of death for relationships - if what they had could technically be considered a relationship.

It had been days since she'd last seen or even spoken to Justin. After the incident in his apartment they'd eaten an awkward breakfast, and promised to text that evening. But he never texted, and neither did she. She needed the time to think things over in peace. As much as Justin seemed to be her own personal savior in many ways, he also seemed to be a distraction; something that could - at times - cloud her judgment and quiet the small, cautious voice in her head. During her time away from him, her heart and brain had been doing battle in her body.

Her brain was running through all the facts. For one, abuse always gets worse not better. It starts with a slap, like Justin had the first night she'd stayed with him. Then it moves on to a punch, a kick, or even choking, like he had the week before. The next step was something more dangerous, like a push down the stairs, or being flung across a lawn. Next, a broken arm or cracked rib. What if Chloe woke up in the middle of one of his attacks? Would he hurt her too? How could she protect Chloe from him, when she couldn't even protect herself from him?

But her heart was screaming something completely different. Her heart knew that the Justin who appeared in the middle of the night, with beady black eyes and an emotionless stare wasn't her Justin at all. Sure, he'd seemed cold and distant in the beginning, but he hadn't been that way toward her in a long time. When they were alone, Justin was warm, and comforting. He played with her hair, and drew delicate patterns on her skin with his fingertips. Even though they'd only been apart for a few days, she could feel his absence in her spirit. Sunny days didn't seem as bright; cold nights grew even more chilly. Deep down she knew something was making him act the way he was. Dark Justin wasn't really part of him, it was something that had developed to cope with whatever he'd been through. But, he still hadn't even come close to telling her what it was. If he couldn't open up, Morgan couldn't see how there would ever be a future for them.

Apparently, Justin's mind had been talking to him as well, according to this text message. Maybe breaking up was the best thing for both of them. For the past couple of months Justin had been consistently pushing for her to put Chloe's needs and safety ahead of her own. Chloe had already witnessed so much in her young life, that's why Morgan had left Devon in the first place. It didn't make sense to take her away from an abusive biological father, just to hand her over to an abusive play-step-father. As loudly as her heart was screaming, she had to do the smart thing. She had to listen to her head.

It was also probably best for him to be the one who did the breaking up, because even now she wasn't sure she had the strength to look him in the eye and tell him it was over. He'd been the strong one for them both so many times already, he'd have to do it once more.

"Okay," she wrote back. "When?"

His reply was almost instant.

"Are you busy now?"

"No. Come on over."

"On my way."

Morgan set her phone on the dining table, running her fingers over the wooden top. Images of a night two months ago flooded her mind. Heavy breathing, roaming hands. A black, leather belt laid on the table, nails scratching against the grain. His body intimately connected to hers with deep, piercing thrusts; and soft, pink lips running along the edge of her shoulder.

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she considered what to do next. Morgan glanced down at her gray sweat pants and dirty white tank top. Normally, she would run into her room and change; put on a pretty dress and curl the ends of her hair. But, there was no point in getting dolled up to get dumped, was there? The tears she'd cry later on would only be a waste of perfectly good mascara.

Minutes seemed to pass like hours as Morgan waited for Justin to arrive. The anxiety coursing through her caused her foot to tap nervously against the kitchen tile. Finally, she heard the familiar sound of his heavy boots on the porch a moment before a strong knock sounded on the door.

Chloe jumped up from the sofa, beating Morgan to the door. Her forgotten headphones continued to sing on the sofa, dangling off the edge of a cushion. She yanked it open, and her eyes widened with excitement.

"Mr. Justin!!" She shouted.

Justin stood there, in that stupidly sexy green camouflage uniform that had his last name embroidered on the patch on his chest. His black boots were laced up past his ankles, the bottom of his thick pants tucked in. Silver dog tags gleamed in the sunlight from outside. Morgan could smell the dirt and fresh air scent that was his essence all the way from across the room. Chloe's arms rose expectantly, waiting for him to lift her up. He did, placing a kiss on her cheek while her arms wound around his neck.

"Where were you Mr. Justin? Were you playing with the other Army men?"

He snorted a laugh. They weren't 'Army men' and they certainly didn't 'play' together; but, looking into her big, innocent eyes who could care about the minor technicalities?

"Yes," he said. "We had to go practice some stuff. Now I get a break to come hang out with you."

Chloe's already painfully wide smile seemed to grow, and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"I missed you, Mr. Justin."

He smiled, his large hand softly patting the middle of Chloe's tiny back. His chin brushed Chloe's chubby little cheek as he replied, "I missed you too."

Morgan's heart stopped in her chest, and her eyes threatened to well over with tears. Obviously, regardless of whichever one of them decided to call it quits, it wasn't going to be easy. Just then, Justin's eyes met hers, and he lifted his head from Chloe's shoulder.

"Do you think you could go play for a little bit while I talk to your Mom?"

"No!"She protested immediately.

"Please?" Justin insisted. "It'll only be a few minutes."

"No!" She said again. "I want to play with you first."

"We'll play after," he said. "You know what, this will give you plenty of time to go find the perfect princess outfit to play in."

Chloe had been looking at him with a furrowed brow and pouty lips, but now her eyebrow raised in thought. Maybe Mr. Justin had a point.

Morgan watched Justin carry Chloe off into her room, promising that he'd stay long enough to see her latest princess dance. He returned a moment later, his arms empty, and closed her bedroom door behind himself.

"Hi," he said simply.

Morgan couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes, so she stared at the Staff Sergeant patch on his chest.

"Hi."

"She hasn't changed one bit," he said.

Morgan shrugged.

"That's my Chloe; a lover of attention."

Justin smirked and bit his tongue. He wanted to make a remark about how she wasn't the only one in this apartment who loved attention, but he figured he was on thin enough ice already. A beat of awkward silence passed between them, and Morgan motioned to the lonely sofa.

"Do you want to sit down?" She asked.

Justin nodded moving to one side of the sofa. He frowned inwardly when Morgan sat down on the opposite end. Physically they were only a few feet apart, but to his heart it felt like miles.

"How was drill?" Morgan asked.

Justin looked down at the coffee table, seeing a My Little Pony coloring book with green and purple scribbles on the cover.

"Long," he said.

For a long while neither of them spoke. Morgan's eyes nervously scanned the beige walls, and Justin watched her hands begin to tremble ever so slightly.

"Look," she sighed finally, exasperated. "I know why you're here."

"You do?"

"I know you want to break up, and that's fine."

Justin's brow twisted into a knot and he looked genuinely taken back by her words.

"What? Break up?"

"You're right, it's probably for the best. Both of us have a lot going on in our personal lives, and trying to mesh the two together is a big task. You're obviously not up for it. Hell, I'm not even sure I'm up for it. But-."

"Morgan."

At the sound of her name her rambling stopped, and she looked at him with sad eyes.

"Why are you always trying to figure out what I'm thinking instead of just asking?" Justin muttered to himself, running a hand over his buzz cut.

Then, he scooted a little closer, resting on the middle cushion of the sofa. Morgan moved back into the corner of the soda, against the pillows.

"The last time I saw you -- our last real conversation -- you asked me a question, but I brushed it off. I realize now, you deserve an answer."

"I do?"

"You do," Justin nodded.

His tongue flicked out quickly, wetting his bottom lip, and his left knee started to bounce up and down. His mind was running over the past year of his life, trying to decide where to begin.

"...She's trusted you with her secrets, now it's time for you to trust her with yours. You can't have much of a relationship without communication."

He cleared his throat, and looked over at Morgan. She was watching him expectantly, waiting for his voice to begin to fill the silence. Suddenly Justin's throat felt as dry as the Sahara.

"I could fight with her, protect my pride, and ruin my family.... or ruin my pride, and keep my family. My family is the most important thing to me and that's a battle I always want to win."

Okay, Justin thought to himself. Here goes nothing.

"When I moved here as a kid, the very first friend I made was a kid named Chad Willings."

Morgan nodded.

"Elaine told me a little bit about him at the picnic."

Justin nodded back, and shifted his focus to the rug on the floor. He couldn't tell her this story, and look her in the eye at the same time.

"Chad and I were best friends. He was the only one who was willing to be friends with the new white boy who'd just moved to town. I was the only one willing to be friends with a guy who was more into himself than Kanye West is now. He taught me how to do everything: play basketball, pick up girls, walk the streets without getting shot. That middle one was probably his favorite past time."

She watched him smile fondly as memories played through his mind.

"We joined the Corps together, not long after his 20th birthday. I passed the test with flying colors, Chad had to take it twice. I told him he should just go for the Army, but he always, always, wanted to be a Marine. I didn't care. I didn't even really know what I was getting into. I just knew I wanted to be half as cool as Chad was, so I followed him. Our last mission together was in Afghanistan. Do you remember the speech during Family Day? When the FRO talked about Hemland province?"

Morgan nodded again.

"Yeah. She said that Marines had to wrestle control of the region from the Taliban."

"Yes," Justin said. "We did. Our last mission, we were supposed to be peace keeping. That's basically just the military's way of having boots on the ground without having to admit it. It eases the mind of the public, less protesting from the liberals."

Morgan nodded slowly, trying to figure out where he was going with this story.

"Anyway, our last mission, we'd been dispatched to backup a downed unit. Their convoy was hit by an IED and ambushed. They lost two gunners trying to defend themselves while they waited for us. We'd just reached the border of the town when they ambushed us too. EOD was clearing the road when they started firing on us from the East. My team was told to dismount and clear a compound on the ridge where we'd spotted gunfire."

Justin's eyes began to glaze over, his eyes darkening to a smoky gray. The stern look he used to wear when he'd first started working at the complex returned, and Morgan realized it was a mask. It was his war face, the one he used to hide the pain.

"They fired on us the whole time we ran up that hill. Bullets were flying everywhere, people were yelling orders to other vehicles on the radio. From behind the wall, I could see them as they hopped down -one after the other- from the ridge into the compound. They were trying to get to me, hoping that if I fell my men would lose focus and discipline; start scattering like ants and be easier to pick off. That was when I heard it."

"It?"

He nodded, his expression unchanging.

"First the explosion, when Chad's truck ran over an IED that EOD had failed to identify in the road. It was a big enough blast that all four tires lifted off the ground. Then, I heard the whistle as a rocket flew towards the vehicle. It hit so hard the fuckin thing nearly turned over. The blasts left a hole in the ground, like a meteor crater, and the side turned black from all the smoke. The damn truck had already been blown up from underneath, and they fired three fuckin rockets at it again, because they wanted to hurt them. They wanted to kill them. All of them. But I couldn't think about that. I couldn't help them. I was on the wall, yards away, and my men were looking at me to lead them. My two youngest guys were 18 years old, away from home for the first time in their lives, and they were looking at me. They were expecting me to make sure they didn't end up like the men in Chad's buffalo. So, when those Taliban cowards finally showed their faces - when they finally came at us, poking their heads up over that stupid wall - I shot them. I shot all of them. Even the ones that had been shot already, I shot them again just to be sure that they weren't ever getting up again. I emptied my entire clip on them, just to make sure. We killed all those men, did things God will probably never forgive us for."

Morgan inhaled, trying to process his words. She knew he was leaving out a lot of the finer details - thankfully - but it was still a lot to process. The gentle part of her that he loved so much was wrestling with what to say. Even if they were the enemy, they were still people with parents and wives and children. But, there was also another part of her - a part that empathized with him. When it came down to the enemy or you, you always chose 'you'. It wasn't like they would have taken pity on him if he's dropped his rifle and raised his hands in surrender. He did what he had to do, what he'd been trained and ordered to do.

"When we finally got back down to the convoy, EOD had only swept two sides of the vehicle, but I didn't care. I didn't even hear them telling me to stop, I just knew I had to get to my friend. When I opened the backdoor, a cloud of smoke came tumbling out and I couldn't see anything. The air smelled like blood and metal. All I could hear was the screaming. They were screaming from the pain, and the heat from the fire. Someone was screaming that he couldn't feel his legs, and another was pinned between sheets of metal, buried under rubble from the waist down. And Chad... Chad had been...."

Justin's voice began to quiver, and his eyes watered as he replayed the memory. Morgan reached out to touch him, but pulled her hand back. As much as she felt for him now, and as awake as he seemed to be, she couldn't help but wonder if the incident from his bedroom the week before would replay itself. Bashfully, she lowered her hand back into her lap.

"We had a memorial for Chad a couple days later, with his weapon and the one intact boot they could find. They say it helps with closure, and I guess sometimes it does. But no matter how many times I said goodbye to him, he never seemed to go away. I still see his face every day: in crowds at the mall, over my shoulder in a mirror. Every night when I close my eyes I hear his men screaming, see the spent shells all over the ground, smell the smoke and gun powder in the air. At night it's like that day happens over and over again. I have to kill those assholes over and over, every time I have to watch that Buffalo explode, and there's never anything I can do about it."

"Oh Justin," she breathed.

Her heart was aching in her chest, trying to imagine what it must have been like to be surrounded by such chaos and despair. She wouldn't have been able to survive watching her best friend die right before her eyes - let alone being charged with keeping order and routine in the midst of it. She wanted to continue talking and tell him she was sorry, but he raised a hand and halted her words.

"There's more."

Morgan's head cocked to the side.

"More?"

"I wanted to talk to you today because I need to tell you something. I'm leaving. I'm being deployed."

The words hit like a ton of bricks; the world slowed to a stop. The mindless chatter from neighbors outside went quiet. The chirping birds in the trees silenced. The sound of her own breathes seemed to echo on forever in the empty air around them. Then he scooted closer - their legs brushing - and took her hand. Justin had seen that look before on the faces of many military wives, girlfriends, and mothers - a look of total shock and devastation.

"Deployed? Where?"

"I don't know," he said honestly. "They don't tell us that until we're en route. It's part of OPSEC."

"OPSEC?"

"Operational security. The less civilians know about military operations and the fewer details there are floating around, the harder it is for the enemy to get ahead of us."

"Okay," she heard herself say hesitantly. "When do you leave?"

He answered her with a shrug.

"OPSEC."

"How long will you be gone?"

Justin shook his head.

"I can't tell you. OP-."

"OPSEC," Morgan finished the word for him.

She wasn't entirely sure what Operational Security meant, but already she didn't like it.

"They'll active me 48 hours before departure, and once I'm deployed I can't tell you where I am until after the mission is complete."

"I won't know where you were until you come back?"

"No."

"Justin, you can trust me. I would never tell anyone where you are -."

"I know you wouldn't," he smiled softly. "But you never know who else is listening."

Her eyes looked away, focusing on one of the walls in the dining room. Justin was losing her, he could feel it. She was pulling away, preparing herself to let him go. He squeezed her hand between his fingers. He needed to reel her back in.

"Morgan, I told you all of this for a reason. Well, a reason beyond the fact that you deserved an explanation. I told you this because I need to know...."

His voice trailed off and his blue eyes were caste down. She waited on pins and needles for him to finish.

"Know what?"

Justin took a noticeably shaky breath.

"While I'm gone, I need to know what I'm going to come back too. I need to know that I'm coming back to you and Chloe. I need to know that you'll be here, and that this won't end when I leave. I need to know that you'll wait for me. I need to know that you're mine, Morgan, because I'm yours. Everything in me is all yours."

Morgan still held that glazed over look in her eye, this time her mind mulling over his words.

Wait for me. Wait for me.

"You want me to wait for you? When you don't even know how long you'll be gone? After all the things that happened last week?"

"I know it's a lot to ask," he rushed. "And I promise things are going to be different when I come back. I talked to an officer in another platoon. They're deploying with us, but he's out of my chain-of-command. He knows how to get me counseling and medication while I'm overseas, without risking my rank or my position in my platoon. He's going to help me, so when I come home again, I'll be different. I'll be better."

Morgan pulled her hand out of Justin's, trying to process all of the things he was saying. Fifteen minutes ago she'd been preparing herself for a break up. Now she was being told stories of loss and destruction, and asked to wait during an endless deployment. What universe was this?

Justin's eyes wildly searched her face, trying to trace Morgan's thoughts through her eyes. So many different emotions were moving across her face. Sadness. Confusion. Hurt. Fear. Worry.

"Morgan," he whispered.

Their eyes met, and Justin felt her look right into his soul. Dark brown eyes stood out against her mocha skin, the contrast more striking than usual due to her lack of makeup. The hair around her face fell in soft curls just under her chin. He felt every emotion she felt, everything she was keeping inside. He felt his pulse start to race, wondering if this was the last time he'd ever see her like this. Losing Chad had been hard enough, how would he be able to push through this deployment if he lost Morgan too?

"This will be the last time you have to hear me say I'm sorry," he told her.

"When I woke up the other night, the way you looked at me." He shook his head to himself. "I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you never look at me like that again. I want to be better for you, for me, and for Chloe. I will be better. Just promise me that you'll wait for me. Please, give me the chance to prove to you that I can be better."

He lowered his forehead to hers, listening to her breath. He wiped a clammy palm on the rough fabric of his pants, and reached for her hand again. He intertwined their finger and held the union against his chest, trying not to squeeze her fingers for dear life.

"I can't lose you, Morgan," he whispered. "You're the only woman I want to be with. You're the only thing that's important to me. You and Chloe are all I have. Please, wait for me."

He felt her pull her hand away again, and his eyelids squeezed together painfully. He guessed his apology had come too late, and that all this had been too much for her to handle. Who could blame her? A mentally screwed up Marine about to disappear for who knows how long and couldn't offer anything more than a mere promise that he'd get better? Yeah, he wouldn't bother waiting either if he was in her shoes.

A warm hand landed on his face, gently caressing his cheek. Morgan's voice was barely above a whisper when she spoke.

"Okay."

Unsure of what he'd heard, Justin's eyes opened. She was looking back at him, her orbs just inches from his face. While they still held confused and pain, they also shimmered brightly in the beams of sunlight coming in through the windows. Her full lips were curved into a small, nervous smile.

"I will," she said. "I will wait for you, Justin."

Relief flooded over him like a tidal wave, every sore muscle in his body relaxing.Both her hands held his face, and he savored hearing her say the words again.

"I'll wait for you."

His arms encircled her waist, practically pulling her into his lap. His face buried into the curve between her neck and shoulder, and he inhaled vanilla. This time Morgan didn't pull away from him, and he snuggled deeper into her embrace. In that moment, he knew; he knew everything he needed too. He knew that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he knew that he was more in love with her than he'd ever been with anyone else in his entire life.

One last time she leaned away from him, only barely enough to look into his eyes. She ran a hand over the tiny hairs on the back of his neck, and then smoothed her fingers over the back of his camouflage jacket.

"You better make good on every promise you made me, Serge. Do you hear me? Every. Single. One."

Justin nodded adamantly.

"Yes ma'am," he said.

Justin stared straight ahead through the windshield as the beat of the music on the radio vibrated the front speakers of his car. He turned his head to the right, looking through the passenger window as an energetic Chloe came bouncing past the double doors of her school, Morgan following closely behind with a pink backpack over her shoulder. He hit the unlock button and turned down the volume as Chloe bolted to his car, waving enthusiastically as she pulled the heavy back door open.

“Mr. Justin!” She shouted with joy as she climbed into the booster seat that Justin had purchased for his own car - much to Morgan’s surprise.

"Hey kiddo,” he smiled, looking back at her as she pulled her seat belt across her chest and into its buckle.

Morgan climbed into the front seat once she saw that Chloe had settled into the back. She looked over at Justin with a soft smile.

She was nervous, almost as nervous as he was.

They both had decided that today would be the day they would tell Chloe of his pending departure. Since the exact date of his deployment was unknown, they wanted to tell her early, so that when the time came it wasn't such an overwhelming surprise. Justin thought he'd gotten the hard part over with when he told Morgan, but he never imagined it would be even harder telling Chloe. Trying to tell a child that he'd bonded so much with that he was leaving and didn’t know when he was going to be back was reviving the same difficult emotions over again, but with much more intensity because Chloe wouldn't be able to understand the way Morgan did.

Morgan remained silent, staring out the window for most of the ride home while Justin and Chloe had a conversation about her day at school. Her chest was beginning to ache for Chloe, and she rubbed her fingers over her chest. Morgan knew how hard it had been for her to take in the news once Justin and Chloe had gone to bed. She snuck into the living room and laid down on the sofa cushion where Justin's scent still lingered as tears rolling down her face. Now her heart ached all over again. Chloe was going to have to say goodbye to another important male role model in her life.

It had been hard on them both when Morgan finally decided to leave Devon. Chloe had cried out for Devon for days on end and continuously asked questions about why this was happening. Morgan did her best to explain as simply and easy as she could, but it still didn’t ease Chloe's tears. It made her even more confused, because she just couldn’t understand why her Daddy wasn’t coming home to her every night. But, as the months passed and Devon's visits became less and less frequent, Chloe finally started on a path back to her normal self. Then Justin came along and became a trusted male-figure in both their lives, only to be called to duty and have to leave. How long would it take them to get back to normal this time?

Morgan took a deep breath when she felt Justin’s hand cover hers as it laid on top of her thigh. His fingers intertwined with hers and gave a squeeze. She looked over to him and he smiled reassuringly back at her. Then his lips moved, and she realized he was saying something.

“Huh?” She questioned.

That's what she got for being off in her own little world. She had no idea what was going on in the conversation.

“Mommy, Mr. Justin said he's going to take us to dinner. We want tacos!” Chloe yelled from the back seat.

Morgan smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

"I guess tacos it is.”

“Yay!”

Twenty minutes later they found themselves seated in a booth at a local family-owned Mexican restaurant. The air was filled with music from a live mariachi band in the corner, while red, yellow, and green decorations hung down from the ceiling. Chloe sat next to Justin on one side while Morgan occupied the other. The little girl dig into the free salsa and chips, wiggling around on the bench with every bite. She was totally oblivious to the anxiety and nervousness that lingered between Justin and Morgan. Justin found himself unable to keep his knee from bouncing up and down while Morgan fidgeted on the bench across from him, twisting her straw wrapper between her fingers.

"Mr. Justin?”

Justin looked over to Chloe as he nibbled at a chip.

"Yes?”

“Are you and my Mommy boyfriend and girlfriend?”

Morgan choked on her margarita as Justin felt a wave of heat raise up his back. He raised an eyebrow, giving Morgan a quick glance.

"What do you know about boyfriends and girlfriends?”

“My friend Jillian at school said her Mommy got a new boyfriend.”

“And, what is a boyfriend?” Morgan asked curiously.

What could Chloe possibly know about relationship titles?

Chloe stuffed a chip in her mouth and shrugged.

"She said he’s like her new Daddy, but not her real Daddy. He's a new Daddy because her real Daddy was always mean to her Mommy and made her sad. So he went away, and now there's a new Daddy who makes her Mommy happy.”

Morgan stood corrected. Apparently Chloe was old enough to know a fair amount about the basics of relationships. Justin chuckled to himself, leaning over to whisper into Chloe's ear.

"Yes, your Mommy is my girlfriend. In fact, she's my most favorite girlfriend ever."

Chloe smiled brightly, holding back a small giggle and reaching for another chip.

“Well, I think you're too young to worry about boyfriend and girlfriend things,” Morgan inserted quickly, wanting to end the conversation.

Knowing Chloe, now that she had an answer to one question she would follow up with a million more. Those were details Morgan didn't want to get into.

Their meal came shortly after, and they made small talk with Chloe, trying to lighten the mood and take their minds off the important conversation coming later when they went home.

After finishing their food they went out for ice cream and a short visit to a small park before heading to Morgan’s apartment. It was getting late, and Morgan immediately gave Chloe a bath and changed for bed. Justin sat in the living room while they shuffled around in the other room. His eyes scanned the room, taking it all in. Many of Chloe’s toys were spread all over: books, markers, Barbie dolls, and educational tools. He could hear her small voice singing Barney's 'I love you' song to her mother while they dried her hair with a large bath towel.

It was refreshing, seeing things from a young child’s point of view. Even though Morgan spent a large amount of time murmuring to herself about bills, her job, and issues with Devon; Chloe was completely in her own world where she and Morgan were completely happy, content, and without a care in the world because she knew Morgan would always be there for her. She never had to worry about her Mommy leaving. It was probably the farthest thing from her mind - if it was even on her mind at all.

Justin had never imagined himself being in a relationship with anyone because of all the issues he was having. Really, he hadn't even planned on seriously dating until after he was retired from the Armed Forces - let alone being with a woman who had a daughter.

But here he was sitting on the couch in the middle of his girlfriend’s living room while she prepared her daughter for bed, and it was making his heart beat harder and stronger than ever before.

He loved Morgan.

He loved Chloe.

He loved them together. Overnight they'd become his family.

Immediately regret started to sink in. He wondered if this was how some of his men felt when they were leaving their women and children behind for the first time. It hurt deeply because in all reality he didn’t know if he was coming back in one piece, or if he was even coming back at all. The thought of Morgan sitting front row at his funeral with Chloe by her side as a gun salute when off in his honor made his eyes teary. He could only imagine the look in Morgan's eyes as she sat there in all black, thinking of how they'd never send text messages or spend sleepless nights in bed together again. She'd already had one man leave her, and as tough as she was, human beings could only take so much.

Justin had just wiped his sleeve across his forehead, soaking up the sweat he'd felt trailing down on to his temples, when Chloe came bouncing down the hallway wearing a long Snow White nightgown and Rubber Ducky slippers.

"I’m all finished!” She announced, skipping over to him and climbing onto the couch.

“You sure?” Justin asked.

He lifted her arm, pretending like he was going to sniff her underarm to inspect, only to reach out and tickle her instead. She squealed in delight.

"Yes, yes , yes!” She screamed, trying to back away from him.

“Yeah, I guess so. You smell squeaky clean," he smiled.

When his torturing stopped she curled up beside him and pulled his arm around her while Morgan slide in a DVD of The Lion King and turned on the TV. Then she made her way over to the sofa and sat down on the other side of Chloe, sandwiching the kid in the middle. She looked up at Justin and nodded. It was time.

"Chloe, honey, before we start the movie Justin and I need to talk to you about something.”

Chloe sat up, Justin’s arm still around her shoulders, and looked back and forth between them. Justin cleared his throat and took several deep breaths while Morgan held hers.

"Chloe, do you remember when I told you about my job as a Marine?”

She nodded.

“You know how I told you that sometimes we go on long trips to protect America from bad guys?”

She nodded once more, rubbing her eyes with a small fist.

Justin shifted slightly in his seat so he could get a better look at her.

"Well, I was asked to go on one of those long trips again. I have to leave in a couple weeks.”

Chloe grinned wildly, jumping up onto her knees.

"Can I go too? Can me and Mommy go? Mommy?! Can we go?”

Morgan ran her fingers over Chloe's hair with a soft smile, then shook her head.

"No, honey, we can’t go.”

Chloe frowned and looked back up at Justin.

"Why can't we go? I want to go on the trips and see different places.”

“I can’t take you with me, because it’s a part of my job. We go over there and try to make peace with the bad guys. Sometimes we have to arrest them and put them in jail, and it can get very dangerous. I wouldn’t want you or your Mommy to get hurt.”

Chloe sighed deeply.

"Okay. How long are you going to be gone? Two days? Cause two days is a long time. I have to sleep twice before I see you.”

Justin shook his head.

"No, princess. It’s much longer than two days. So long that I don’t even know exactly. But, I'll come back as soon as I can.”

Chloe blinked in confusion and looked at her Mom, then she turned her eyes back to Justin.

"You're leaving?”

“Yes, to go to work. But, as soon as I'm done I'll be back.”

“When?”

Justin rubbed her shoulder.

"I don’t know.”

“It's for a long time?”

Justin nodded.

"Yes."

She frowned.

"But it will only seem like that as first," he said. "Then time will start to go by faster, and I’ll be back before you know it.”

Chloe's frown only seemed to deepen, and she looked down at her hands.

“My friend Michael’s Daddy had a job like yours, and he hasn’t seen his Daddy in forever. His Mommy said he went on a long, long vacation and that someday they will join him. Marissa said Michael’s Daddy went to see his grandma in Heaven. My Mommy said Heaven is where nice people go when they die. Are you dying Mr. Justin?”

Morgan bit down on her bottom lip, trying to suppress her emotions.

"No, he's not dying, Chloe. He's going to come back, aren’t you, Justin?”

Justin looked at both of them. Two sets of teary eyes were looking at him expectantly, and his heart began to pound so loud it echoed in his ears.

“Of course I am.”

“But if you go then you'll die,” Chloe said in a whisper.

The room fell heavy and silent until the child spoke again.

"Are you leaving cause you don’t like us anymore?”

Justin frowned heavily.

"Of course not. I love being with you two.”

“Daddy said he loved me, but he left.”

Justin slid from the edge of the couch and knelt down in front Chloe as a large teardrop rolled down her puffy cheek.

"I am not leaving you because I don’t like you. You and your Mommy are my favorite people to hang out with. Remember, what I told you at dinner? I just have to go and do my job for a while. Then as soon as it's done I will be back home for good. And I won't die. I'm too cool to die.”

He ended his sentence with a wink, hoping she would giggle at him. She didn't. Instead, tears started a steady flow down her face.

"Who's going to protect us from Daddy? What if he hurts Mommy again?”

Morgan subconsciously raised a hand to her neck as she tried hard to retain her composure. Justin lowered his head for a moment, trying to find the right words to say. The situation between himself, Morgan, and Devon was far too adult and complicated for Chloe to fully understand, but it was obviously a situation that worried her little mind. How do you reassure a child about adult situations? Finally he gently took Chloe’s hands in his and spoke sternly.

"He will never hurt your Mommy ever again. I promise. When I come back I will take you both away and you won’t ever have to worry about him again.”

Chloe finally broke into heavy sobs and leaned forward to fling her arms around Justin’s neck.

"Please don’t go Mr. Justin. Please, please, please.”

Justin let out a heavy sigh, tightly wrapping his arms around her little body. Her thin bony limbs encircled him, almost like she was trying to climb into his chest so she could be with him all the time. He got up from his knees and slipped back onto the couch, Chloe in his lap. He held out one arm, motioning for Morgan to come closer. She eagerly collapsed against his side, her head on one shoulder and Chloe's on the other as they both sobbed quietly. He hated that he'd caused so much pain in the past couple of days. He held them as tightly as he could, giving each girl a kiss on the head. Then Justin closed his own eyes and leaned back into the pillows when fresh tears started to burn the back of his eyes.