“I think my retina's are burning,” Rachel remarked as she put her leather laptop case with her computer and other bag that held all of her accounting stuff in the back of the rental car before smiling at her friend. Melissa had shown up a little bit before she was ready to leave and had waited. “So, where are we going? Back to the video shoot or did you find something else you wanted to do?” Rachel was glad she'd worn flats and slipped her sunglasses on before getting into the drivers side of their rental car.
“I'm just here with you,” Melissa told her as they pulled out, biting her bottom lip. “California's nice huh? I mean, for being California.”
“It's alright. I know my way around enough I don't get lost. The traffic is fucking awful,” Rachel commented as they pulled out to head towards the freeway. She glanced over at Melissa and raised an eyebrow. “Bass, what's on your mind?”
“I've just been thinking a lot. I just-” Melissa sighed, running a hand through her hair, “I don't want to be in Orlando anymore. I think I need something new, somewhere that doesn't make me think of Joey all the time. I know I wouldn't just be leaving Joey, but I can't think of what else to do,” she finished quietly, looking out the window.
“You want to move to FREAKING California?!” Rachel yelled, almost wrecking the car as she slammed on the brakes and pulled into a parking lot. “Tell me those words did not just come across your lips. Why do you want to move three thousand miles away?” her voice was still loud as she looked at Melissa, her eyebrows arched up in surprise. “I know you're having a hard time, but Jesus Christ, that came out of nowhere!”
“What do you want me to do? Pretend Joey doesn't exist? That I just act like I don't know him?” she asked, wiping tears that came. “I'm not strong like you are, Rach. I can only take so much and I'm scared to death of the thought of moving, but I have to. I can't hide at Lance's house or in Orlando.” Melissa took a breath and looked at Rachel, the events of that morning sticking out in her mind. “Joey came in as we were eating lunch and he hugged me. I hugged him back,” she went through the conversation between them before the kiss happened. “So I play with his hair and then he kisses me. Twice,” she gave a smile, “I liked it, Rach. I know he's not mine and my head is screaming at me to stop but my heart says to just ignore my head.”
“You can kiss your friends, Mel. Like a friendly kiss...that's not wrong,” Rachel told her, watching the other girl shake her head.
“It wasn't just a friendly kiss. This is a man I love, that I would be with in a heartbeat if he asked. It's been Melissa and Joey so long that I have to go somewhere else and do something with me, Rach. I can't just sit in Florida while his life goes on without me.”
“So coming to California is the answer? Hiding out here? You hate traffic and this is worse than Orlando. All I have to say is 11th grade and the wreck downtown.”
Melissa and Rachel had been going over to the Bass house for the weekend after school when they got stuck in traffic. One lane was closed with traffic merging. It was at a standstill and Melissa had panicked, not liking being stuck in the traffic and having to wait, then the scramble when the traffic started again, the horns blaring made it worse and by the time they got home, Melissa swore she'd never drive again. Of course she had, but traffic always scared her when it was more than two lanes in one direction and it got heavy.
Melissa pursed her lips and looked at her best friend. She knew Rachel was right, but she needed to make her best friend understand. “I have to live my own life. It's a long ways from everyone, but I think I can do it,” her eyes met Rachel's. “I have to know I can do it.”
“Moving to Miami is something you could do. St. Louis, Chicago, New York City,” Rachel told Melissa giving her a look. “It's a five hour plane ride here. And that's not counting lay overs, which we didn't have because we were on a leer jet. You can't just hop in your car and come see me or your brother. What about your parents?”
“Lance will be on tour for most of the rest of the year. You'll be with him,” Melissa pointed out, shrugging a little at the mention of her Mom and Dad. “My parents will just want me happy. I want me to be happy.” It was sort of a selfish statement, but true.
Rachel wanted to protest but her mind went back to the conversation she and Lance had earlier. This would be like a clean break of sorts. Nothing around the corner to make Melissa think of Joey, no worrying about if he was just going to show up somewhere unexpectedly. It made sense in a way and she studied the traffic going by before she spoke. “If you think this is what you want, I'll help you all you need.” Rachel hoped her voice sounded more positive than she felt. It scared her to think of her friend being alone out here and more than that what was going to happen to the time she'd spend with her best friend. “How about we go look at some places and see if there's anywhere you like and then go see what the boys are doing.”
“I like that idea,” Melissa replied, smiling at Rachel. “I'm sorry...You know I wouldn't just pick up and move without a good reason.”
We haven't been apart in almost 8 years, ya know,” she added a little somberly as she pulled out of the parking lot. “What the hell am I supposed to do when I'm in Orlando?”
“You can go hang out with Chris. It will almost be like hanging out with me,” she suggested, trying to make it funny.
“Maybe if I give Chris a padded bra and shaved all his body hair off. You've gone crazy. Remind me to send out your address to every magazine subscription I can. AARP and Tattoo Monthly will be calling you.”
“Ha ha ha, smartass,” Melissa told her, giving her the finger. “Oh look, it's a California 'howdy',” she giggled when Rachel flipped her off. “This is a nice place,” she told her friend, looking around. They were in Thousand Oaks, which was outside of Los Angeles but still close enough that it wasn't a long commute. It was nestled into the mountains, making the backdrop appealing.
“We can look here if you want. There's lots of other burbs too,” Rachel told her as they talked. Rachel took one of the exits where there were restaurants and other businesses. “First thing you need to see is if there are places around here you want to go to. Grocery store, places to eat, stuff like that. Location, location, location.”
“I know,” Melissa studied both sides of the road. She wanted to be somewhere that she could get to places easily and not be stuck in traffic. “How about we stop at a real estate place and ask about properties, rentals...” she pointed out a realty sign. “I'm not paying a huge amount for a two bedroom. I mean, I have money saved up that was going to be for other stuff, so that's not it, I just don't want to run out of money before I get settled.”
“I hardly think that will happen,” Rachel assured her as they both got out of the car and went in. Rachel picked up a few brochures at the entrance and bumped Melissa's elbow. “Something like this could work. Would give you a pool and workout room, walking trails...” It was a place called 'Oak Valley' and was a condominium complex that had a lake on the acreage, along with amenities. “They take care of all the lawn stuff...”
Melissa looked at the brochure and nodded, reading about the prices and everything. “We'll ask about it for sure.”
The agent that was working walk ins was helpful, introducing herself as Gina, taking her and Rachel around, pointing out places of interest and showing them four different apartments and condo complexes, all varying prices and amenities. “There are many other places for rent, some houses, but for what you are wanting and your age demographic, a condo would be your best option,” she told Melissa, handing her a business card. “If you liked 'Oak Valley', they are taking deposits on new units until Thursday of next week. Those will be ready in two weeks to move into. Everything is inspected and I can go in and take pictures once they tell you which one is yours. Of course you have that decision to make, but I hope you will let me serve you again if you decide to move to Thousand Oaks.”
“Of course,” Melissa told her. She had paperwork to fill out from her favorite place, excited and nervous at the same time. Getting back in the car with Rachel, she looked over at her best friend. “How do you think Lance will take it?”
“I think your brother will be surprised. I think they all will be...And you have to tell Joey.”
“I was hoping to avoid that,” Melissa said, fiddling with her phone.
“That's a shitty thing to do, Mel. What if he just picked up and moved without telling you? You'd be pissed. If you're putting your big girl panties on and moving, you can tell your best friend that. You don't have to tell Joe he's the reason you're moving, but you can open your damn mouth and say something.” Rachel shook her head a little. “You aggravate me sometimes.”
“It's my job,” Melissa told her, sighing when Rachel didn't say anything back. “I'm sorry. Let's talk about something else.”
“No, I want to talk about that. You always try to change the subject when I chew your ass. What gives you the right to treat Joey like that? Is he your best friend or not?”
“Yeah, but-”
“But what? He's your best friend. So what he's marrying Kristen cause she's pregnant. He's still Joey, don't spite him just because you're hurting. That's all I'm saying about it, conversation over.” Rachel glanced over at Melissa who was sitting there with her arms folded, looking pissed off. “I hope your face sticks that way.”
“Shut up,” Melissa snarled, sighing and leaning her head back on the headrest and closing her eyes. “Just ignore me, Rach. I don't know what I'm saying or doing.”
“I take that into account. I'm letting you have a 'free pass' on a few things that I would otherwise ream your ass on. But after we get you moved, I expect you to get back to your normal happy non-bitchy self.”
“Sure, get right on that,” Melissa told Rachel, sticking her tongue out as they pulled into the studio lot and Rachel gave their names and the girls handed their ID's and hard cards to the security at the gate.
“This is still all crazy,” Melissa told Rachel as she looked at the fans that were camped out on either side of the gate on the sidewalk. They had signs and shirts and various other things with NSYNC on them or a certain member. The guys got a lot of fan mail and Melissa had at one time helped answer letters back before it got so overwhelming to handle. “Wonder how many of them will stay if the guys don't get done until late tonight?”
“Most of them aren't old enough to drive, so I hope their parents come get them,” Rachel pointed out before pulling into the lot and going to where she had dropped Melissa off earlier. She couldn't help the silly smile that crossed her face. She was ready to see Lance...and JC if the truth be told. She parked next to one of the vehicles that had brought the NSYNC entourage and smiled at Melissa. “Let's go see what the guys are doing,” she said, smacking Melissa's shoulder. “Smile.”
“I'm smiling. I'm happy. I'm going to see if Joey and I can steal a golf cart and ride it around the lot,” Melissa told her as they got out of the car. “See?” she pointed to one and grinned, the keys in it.
“Come on before you really get arrested,” Rachel told her, pulling her along. People were milling about, extras waiting and they walked into where Wayne was directing and the guys were standing over by him watching Joey as he sat in a chair and did his close ups. As they got closer, they could see sweat coming from Joey's face.
“He's hurting,” Melissa pointed out, seeing Wayne and Joey talking before Wayne went back behind the camera.
“Joey, this is the last take, buddy. You've kicked ass today.”
“I can't kick shit, but thanks,” Joey told him, giving him a slight grin. He focused on what was going on with playback starting. He knew he was going to be tired as hell and in serious need of pain meds after this was all over.
Rachel wasn't paying attention and jumped when she felt arms come around her from behind. She turned her head and smiled, leaning back on Lance. “Hi,” she said softly, turning and hugging him. “I missed you.”
“Missed you too,” Lance pulled Rachel closer and leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips, deepening the kiss after a moment and smiling. “I would ask how you were and how work was, but you look exhausted,” he said as he took her over to sit down on one of the couches where some of the extras were. Rachel looked like they all felt, ready to go back to the hotel.
“I am,” Rachel conceded, leaning on him, her head comfortably on his shoulder. “I'm too old for this crap.” She smiled as Lance snorted, looking at him innocently. “I happen to be mature for my age. You got a couple people in NSYNC that act like kids, so I figure I get a few maturity points for that alone.”
Lance chuckled and nodded, “Very true. Chris and Joey bring our age level down quite a bit. And my sister, ya know,” he shrugged, winding his fingers through hers. “Speaking of,” Lance's eyes found Melissa, over talking to JC and Justin close to where Joey was finishing up, “did you two have fun today? Before you came here I mean.”
“It was good. We still haven't eaten,” she looked at her watch and sighed. At this rate, Rachel figured they wouldn't eat until ten. “I love you, Lance, but I'm not staying here all night. I don't care if you come wake me up in the middle of the night but I just want to go take a hot bath and close my eyes and not think about numbers.”
“Good thing we're in the same hotel, cause I can't promise I'd come find you afterward. It should be interesting when we get done. Joey's going back to the hotel too I think,” Lance kissed Rachel's head softly and sighed. “I didn't realize how much I missed you until we had to fly out here. Seeing you every day and then not freakin' sucks,” he admitted, listening to her laugh. This was one of the many times he wished he wasn't gay, that he could feel for Rachel how he wanted to about a guy. It wasn't anything to do with loving her, or caring for her, just that he knew his feelings weren't what they should be completely. However, Lance knew he'd do whatever he had to in keeping her happy while they were 'together'.
JC had seen Rachel come in with Melissa, tracking her with his eyes even as he stood there talking to Justin and Melissa. He'd tried not to be jealous, but it wasn't working. The feeling surprised him somewhat, thinking he'd been handling it well but seeing Rachel and Lance kiss made him wish it was him, that he could kiss her again and see if it was just a one time feeling, the pent up emotions of that night or if his brain and possibly his heart were trying to make a leap. He tore his eyes away from them to focus on what Justin and Melissa were talking about, realizing it was about the video itself and he interjected his comments, relieved that he could follow along and not pay attention.
Melissa swatted at the hand that came around to cover her eyes, “Stop Chris,” she admonished, listening to the older man grumble. She turned and hugged him. “You're so cute when you pout,” she squished his face together and laughed when he tried to talk, letting him go.
“Fatone! She thinks I'm cute!” Chris yelled in Joey's direction as he came towards them with his cane.
“Cute like what? You're so cute you're ugly...Fugly even,” Joey snarked back as Chris pretended to sob into Justin's shoulder. He was hurting slightly and in a mood. Not mad but just aggravated that he wasn't doing his job at one hundred percent as usual. Besides, seeing Melissa having a good time with the rest of the guys reminded him of what he was missing out on. His heart ached and he just wanted her to himself. He made it to where he was standing between her and JC, not blocking them from each other, but so that he was the object to move if they wanted to be closer.
JC's eyes narrowed when he saw Joey's position, almost saying something before stepping back. They could afford for Joey to be a little possessive, since they had no way of knowing if the two of them would get another chance to be together with some alone time. “We got the rest of this until tomorrow, man,” he clapped Joey on the shoulder. “You rocked it today, Joe.”
“Thanks. I'm going back to the hotel and forgetting my name,” he replied, bumping fists with JC and Justin before pulling Melissa to him, wincing as her leg brushed his. “Damn,” he cursed, moving his leg slightly, “not your fault, mine.”
Melissa nodded, waiting until he'd moved and got comfortable. “You want a water or something?” she asked him, squeezing his hand lightly when he nodded, getting the other guys a water too from one of the ice chests that was over by the entrance.
“You're playing with fire, dude,” Justin said quietly as Melissa came back. He saw Joey's gaze fixed on her and frowned. “You know that right?”
“Ask me if I care,” Joey pulled his gaze away to look at Justin and JC. “I'll take what I can get. One minute. One hour,” he shrugged, cutting off the conversation when Melissa got back. “Thanks Bambina.”
“Anything for the gimp, the pimp and the perfectionist,” she said, grinning. “I figure I'll leave you here to work your asses off while I go take a few laps in the hotel pool,” she stuck her tongue out at Justin, who flipped her the bird.
“So, Lance, who is this beautiful woman sitting beside you?” Chris asked, having gone around with his camera shooting random stuff before coming back into the building housing the set and catching Lance and Rachel lounging, very comfortable in their seating arrangement, talking quietly.
“This is my girlfriend, Rachel,” Lance said, laughing when Rachel turned and buried her face into his chest. “And it seems she's camera shy. Say hi Rachel.”
Rachel gave a wave and didn't turn over. “Tell Chris I will take all his clothes and sell them to fans outside the hotel,” she told Lance loud enough for Chris to hear. She laughed when Chris yelled “Hey!”, peaking at him. “I have your cell phone number too,” she told him, getting a dirty look when he closed the camera.
“You're absolutely no fun,” Chris remarked, sitting down next to Rachel and Lance. “Remind me to skip your birthday this year,” he told Rachel, messing with her foot.
“Whatever, Kirkpatrick. Go film all those girls waiting to see you guys down at the gate,” she told him, glancing over at Melissa. She was leaning on Joey and still talking to JC. JC glanced in her direction and gave a small smile. Rachel pretended not to notice, but on the inside she giggled like an idiot. Her friend was right. She had a crush on JC.
“Okay ladies and gentlemen, break is over. Everyone and Wade minus Joey, get your tookus up and get ready to get more done. If you were in JC's hallway, get in there, up with Chris, same thing..I'm filming some of the big parts. Joey, we'll get yours tomorrow bud,” Wayne said through the megaphone.
Rachel got up so Lance could get up, hugging him and giving him a quick kiss. “Have fun. Call me when you're done. I still want my time with you,” she told Lance, winking at him. She hugged Chris as well, making her way over to where the other three members of NSYNC were. “Hi, Justin,” she said, letting herself be pulled into a hug by him and squeezed before being shoved into JC's arms, making them both go oomph. “Damn,” Rachel muttered, noticing how close their bodies were. She swallowed quickly and looked up at JC. “Hey, C.”
JC smiled and hugged Rachel, “Hey Rach. I guess I'll have to say bye too,” he squeezed one of her hands before he let her go, giving her a look like he wanted to say more. “See ya later. Mel said we were in the same hotel,” he said as he walked off slowly, then turned to catch up with the rest of the guys.
Rachel watched him go before turning to Joey and Melissa. “I guess I'm the chaperone in this deal,” she grinned as they both rolled their eyes.
“She makes it sound like we don't know how to act in public,” Joey said, putting his weight on the cane and not his leg. “I'm fine out in public.”
“Says who?” Melissa told him, slipping her arm through his.
“Your mother told me I was a model citizen at your high school graduation,” Joey retorted.
“You were sitting right next to her and she told you if you did anything she would make sure I didn't come on tour that whole summer.”
“I remember that,” Rachel said as they got into the rental car the girls had driven along with one of the security guards. “Joey sat up there and didn't make a peep.”
“I was afraid to move, Linda packs a mean punch.”
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
“All I want is a bath and food. And a date with my pillow for a few hours,” Rachel said as they all got into the elevator. “You can watch Joey get stupid on painkillers or something,” she told Melissa, knowing there was a good chance she'd not see her friend for the rest of the night. It was part of the reason she'd brought Melissa along, sort of glad that she'd get to relax and it be quiet. Her friend wasn't loud, but it was just different being the only one in the hotel room.
“Hey, I only take what I'm supposed to,” Joey said, pointing his cane at Rachel. “Be nice to me, I'm injured.”
“I'm always nice to you. I haven't killed you yet and left your body out in a wooded area when you've played a practical joke on me,” Rachel replied, narrowing her eyes when Joey tried to look innocent. “Be good,” she told Melissa who proceeded to give her an equally innocent look.
“We're always good,” Melissa told her, grinning as the elevator opened and she exited with Joey and Lewis. “Have fun by yourself.”
“Have fun with the one legged wonder,” she replied, giving them a wave bye. Rachel laughed as Melissa blew her a kiss and Joey just shook his head. She leaned back against the rail in the elevator and shut her eyes. The time change plus work had been exhausting. Another reason she wanted to be alone was to try and get a handle on her thoughts. The thoughts that ran rampant about JC. It was worse when she was around him, watching him talk and smile and look in her direction. Rachel knew part of it was just a crush, the thrill of wanting something that was just out of reach. At the same time, Josh hadn't acted any different with her since New Year's. He was being nicer, if that was possible. She tampered those thoughts down as the elevator dinged, turning to Lance in her thoughts. She loved Lance and counted him as one of her best friends- her best male friend- that she'd ever had.
Slipping the key card into the door, she opened it and sighed happily. The suitcase she'd hastily tossed on the bed was sitting there waiting for her. Her favorite pajama pants and one of Lance's shirts she'd stolen from him were in there. A few minutes later, Rachel sank down into the tub that had been filled with steaming hot water. “Calgon, take me away,” she muttered, letting the stress and worries in her mind float away.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
The door shut to Joey's room and he let the cane fall with a thud to the floor. “Come here,” Joey leaned against the door and watched as Melissa paused in front of him. He could see her thinking and he smiled slightly when she bit her lip. “What's the problem?” he asked, his fingers reaching out and taking her wrist, pulling her closer. “I just wanted a hug.”
Melissa relaxed a little at that statement, letting herself be enveloped in Joey's arms. She could handle a hug, not caring that he'd been sweating, her head resting on his chest. Her eyes closed as she wrapped her arms around him, listening to the 'lub dub' sound of his heartbeat. Melissa knew they needed to talk, afraid of what Joey would think or say. “Will you always love me?” she asked softly, looking up at him, her head craned upward.
“What kind of question is that?” Joey asked, moving slightly so he could touch her face gently. “That's like asking the wind to quit blowing or the rain not to come. Silly woman.”
Joey anchored her to him as they made their way to the bed, with him sitting down first and sighing gratefully as it got the weight off his leg. “Damn that feels good,” he said, reaching for the drawer in the nightstand and getting his prescription pain pills, downing one with a bottled water. He looked over at Melissa who was still sitting at the edge of the bed, her stare far off. “You okay, Bambina?” he asked softly, his brow furrowing when she shook her head. “Talk to me.”
“Let's worry about you first,” Melissa told him, wanting to put off telling him the news of her thinking hard about moving. “Do you need help with getting a shower or anything?” she groaned when he grinned wickedly. “You know what I meant.”
“I know I knew what you meant, and my mind took the trip to the gutter.”
“Took a trip there? It lives there with Chris's mind. And Justin's...”
Joey got up and stripped off his shirt, sloughing off his shoes and tossing his socks in his growing pile of clothes. He reached for his pants when he heard Melissa clear her throat. “Sorry...” he heaved a sigh and went into the bathroom not shutting the door all the way. “This sucks ass. I feel like if I'm going to see you, we'll have to sneak around to do it.”
“Think about what you just said and how wrong that sounds, Joey,” Melissa told him, coming to stand by the bathroom door. She heard the water going and the shower come on. “How are you gonna do that and not get your bandage wet?” she asked, peeking into the bathroom.
“Hey, you didn't want to see my sexy manliness, no looking. I was offering earlier and now it costs money,” Joey admonished, standing in the shower with his bandaged leg sticking out, the shower head angled in such a way that it still hit him.
“I got twenty bucks,” Melissa told him and she heard him yelp a laugh. The water went off a few minutes later and she knew what he was doing, his usual routine. Drying off, deodorant, and a splash of cologne. “You decent yet?” she questioned, listening to him grumble.
“Pants suck. I'm wearing boxers and getting in bed,” Joey said, his leg still hurting and he opened the door. His favorite Superman boxers were on with the 'S' logo on the front. “Don't hate the player, hate the game,” he told Melissa, stopping at the air conditioner.
“What game?” she asked, sticking her tongue out at him and letting him get in bed as she slipped her shoes off, wanting to get under the covers too knowing it would get cold fast. “Brrrr,” she said, feeling the air creep over to where they were.
Joey didn't care that they shouldn't be sharing a bed, he wanted her here with him. He wanted things to be normal between them. At least here if not anywhere else. “Talk to me, Melly,” he said softly, settling into bed her head resting at the crook of his neck. The arm closest to her wrapped around her and Joey moaned slightly when her fingers ran over the hair just above his temples. “Don't start that unless you want this to turn into something else,” he warned, his head turning slightly, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. “You're incorrigible.” Joey felt her fingers trace his scruff around his jawline.
“I miss you. This...Us,” Melissa told him quietly. Her brain was screaming at her to stop. She knew it wasn't right. Another thing she knew was that her heart wouldn't ever heal. A part of it would be Joey's forever. No matter if eventually she moved on from him and met someone else. She also knew they couldn't go back to being ''just friends”. Just being this close to Joey was bad, wanting his lips on hers, his hands on her touching her. When he rolled over to face her, she smiled a little when he let out a growl of a curse word and then whimpered when his lips found hers. His lips felt the same, the way they always did when he started kissing her.
Joey wasn't going to push the issue, kissing Melissa softly. Her whimper spurred him on, letting his mouth travel over to the place just behind her ear, then back to her lips, kissing her harder. He growled when her fingers tangled in his hair, his body wanting hers. His hands had already started to take the familiar path, one was caressing Melissa's face gently. The other hand was at her waist, fingers underneath her shirt, sliding upwards towards her bra. He knew he was getting somewhere when she arched her back and his hand got a handful of her breast. “Just relax,” he whispered, his tongue moving over her earlobe.
“Joey.” Melissa wasn't sure if that was a plea to stop or keep going. She felt his hand pull her bra down and moaned when his fingers ran across her nipple, shivering slightly. She pressed her lips to his and her hands went to his hair, combing through it before tugging at the front.
“God, yes....Melly,” Joey whispered against her lips before kissing her once more. The silence in the room was broken by a phone ringing. 'Pretty Woman' played and Joey swore silently. If he didn't answer, Kristen would keep calling. Untangling himself from Melissa, he rolled over and felt around for his phone. “Hello?” he said, hoping it was something simple. A call of how he was doing, then goodbye.
“I didn't expect you to answer,” Kristen said, her voice sounding surprised. “I was just going to leave you a message. How has your day been?”
Joey's eyes narrowed, having heard this from Kristen before. She was fishing for something and he let Melissa go to sit up on the side of the bed. “It's been long. What do you want, Kris? I'm not in the mood to listen to this...”
“Well, a few of my girlfriends came down to see me since you were going to be out of town and we decided to do some shopping,” her voice trailed off. “We got the cutest stuff for the baby and some outfits for the honeymoon. And then they insisted I take them out to eat and you know, the girl thing. Beauty salon.”
“How much?” Joey ground out, getting a bad feeling. He'd left his debit card at home, telling Kristen she could go get groceries or hit the mall. He'd checked the balance yesterday, with bills being pulled out automatically. “How much goddamn it!”
Melissa had sat up after he did facing the other side of the bed, and was about to get up when she felt Joey's hand reach back for hers. She took it, squeezing it lightly, but not moving to face him. This was reality, a few minutes before had been just pretend, both of them not wanting to admit that the weren't together. She knew Joey would be pissed and just sat there, trying to sort out her thoughts.
“Answer me.” Joey's eyes closed when he heard her talk and his body shook. “How the fuck do you expect me to live with a hundred and fifty bucks for the next two weeks...” Joey let go of Melissa's hand and pushed himself up, limping over to the window and looking out of it. He was beyond pissed and listened to her blubber and cry. “It's a FUCKING JOB, NOT A MONEY TREE! I get paid every two weeks like a regular job. I have bills...Find a way to put the money back and if I check and the card's been used anymore tomorrow, you can keep the ring and find yourself back in Pittsburgh.”
Melissa heard Kristen scream at Joey from where she was, surprised when he didn't just hang up on her. He'd hung up on Melissa only a couple times when she thought she'd get mouthy and now Joey was standing there taking it. She laid back down on the bed and faced the opposite wall. The timing was awful, but she had to tell him about the possibility of moving.
“Yeah, you do that. Put the money back Kristen, I'll be home in a couple days,” Joey told her, his voice void of emotion. He didn't reply back when she told him she was sorry and loved him, hanging up. Propping himself up with his arms, he leaned on the window sill and stared out the curtain, watching the traffic go by. “You still here, Bambina?” he asked softly, hating that she had to listen to that.
“Tell your...fiance,” that word hurt, “that she really knows how to kill the mood.” Melissa meant it to be a joke but it was the truth. She got up and went to go stand by Joey, wrapping her arms around his middle. “You alright, Fatoney?”
“Other than being fucking broke, yeah,” he shook his head. “Let's drop it. Pisses me off... If you wanted food, sorry to say I'm not buying. You'll have to treat me. I'm ordering the biggest most expensive thing there is from wherever you get food from.” Joey heard her snort and laugh, pulling her around so that he could kiss her again. “You're my lifeline, Mel. You make all the other shit easier to deal with. You know that right?”
“Even if I do from three thousand miles away?” She let the question hang there as she watched the emotions flicker across his face. Melissa swallowed back tears when Joey looked positively heartbroken and she reached up to cup his face, stroking his jaw. “I went and looked at places today. There's one in Thousand Oaks-” her voice trailed off, biting her lip.
“You're leaving me?” Joey stared at Melissa, his heart breaking in his chest. He was so sure nothing would be more painful than breaking up with Melissa but he was wrong. Hearing his best friend, his soulmate, the woman who would always hold his heart was moving across the country to start a life without him hurt. It hurt something fierce.
He had assumed she'd stay in Orlando. it was after all where her parents lived, her brother lived, her best friend - Where he lived. Where he'd be able to see her regularly. Where he'd be able to make sure she was okay. How was he supposed to do that when she was three thousand miles away? How could he be sure she was really truly okay?
“I think...I think it would be the best thing for me. For us,” Melissa put her fingers to his lips when he started to speak. “I can't stay there Joey. I can't pretend that my heart's not breaking every time I see you, that you aren't mine.” She sniffled when Joey's lips found her forehead. “You'll be busy touring and have a wife and baby to take care of.”
“Who's going to take care of you?”
"I'll take care of me," Melissa told him softly. "Don't worry about me."
"Don't worry about you!" Joey's voice rose as he pushed away from Melissa, holding her by the forearms. "How can you say that?"
"You need to worry about Kristen and the baby now. They are your family."
"And you're not?" Joey dropped his arms so quick, it caused Melissa to stumble slightly. When Melissa failed to say anything, he rotated around, hissing as pain shot through his leg. He ignored it, taking a few steps away. He clenched his eyes shut; emotions swirled inside of him; hurt and anger.
"You're marrying someone else Joey. You're having a baby..."
"You don't think I know that!" He whirled around catching Melissa in a glare. "I know that! Heaven forbid someone fail to remind that every damn minute of every damn day. I know I'm having a baby! I know I'm getting married! I fucking know!"
Melissa stayed silent, pursing her lips as Joey slid from English to Italian and back again.
"How can you just tell me not to worry Bambina? How can you say that? Do you know how that makes me feel?" He asked, watching her look at him. "Is that what you did? The minute we ended our relationship did you just stop worrying about me?"
"No!" Melissa gasped, pain coursing through her at the thought. "I worry about you constantly! I worry if you're sleeping. If someone's taking care of you. I worry that you're not where you're supposed to be, if you need anything."
"Then how can you tell me not to worry?" Joey's voice softened. "How can you even suggest that? I worry Mel. It didn't just stop because we broke up. I worry about you every day. And I wonder what you are doing; how you're feeling. When I fall asleep every night, when I actually can sleep, I wonder about your day. What you did, where you went. You are on my mind constantly Mel."
Melissa eyes watered at Joey's words. She knew what he was going through. She was going through the same thing. She tried not to think about it, find things to keep her mind off him, but he always crept back into her mind. Everything reminded her of him and it was like going through breaking up all over again. "Now you see why I have to move?" She whispered. "It's you. It's always been you. It's always gonna be you. And it's not possible anymore. You... you're truly unavailable."
He felt like someone had ripped open his chest and tore out his heart, leaving a gaping wound. It never occurred to him in the many hours he spent working through Melissa and Kristen that when he would lose Melissa. He had always assumed she would be there; that she would be in his life in some shape or form. And now Melissa was removing herself from the equation. Leaving him. Moving three thousand miles away, starting her life over. A life that didn't include him. He suddenly felt as if he was on the outside looking in. He didn't want to let her go, even if she was choosing to do this. “Stay with me tonight.”
She knew what the right answer should have been. As she told him yes, her mind was telling her to say no. It was wrong, Joey was engaged and she was no longer his. That part was a double edged sword, pushing her towards him into his arms. Melissa wanted to be his one last time, to have that memory of Joey to hold on to, that they could say goodbye like this.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay..now that the bugs are worked out. I had to break up chapter 23. So this is chapter 23 part 1. Chapter 24 will actually be Chapter 23 part 2. Thanks Whitney for your help!!!
Story Tags: joey
