“This fuckin' sucks,” Justin said, the four men sitting in a classroom in the church, little kid drawings everywhere. It would have been comical if the emotions surrounding the day were different, sitting on little plastic chairs.

“We're in a church,” Lance pointed out, sighing as he pulled out his phone. He smiled when he got a text from Rachel. “Rachel will be here in a few minutes.” He texted her back where they were.

“Okay..God this fuckin' sucks. Is that any better?” Justin asked, running a hand through his hair, blowing out a breath. “You think Mel and Joey are alright?”

JC looked over at Justin and smiled sadly. “They'll never be alright,” he tried to be funny about it, but it didn't come out right. “I didn't mean-”

“We all know what you meant, Josh. It's those two,” Justin replied, watching Lance get up.

Lance smiled, going out to the church foyer and to the doors when he got the text Rachel was there. He met her at the door and pulled her in for a hug. “You look great for being up most of the night,” he told her, breathing in her perfume and holding her a little tighter. “This is hard,” he said softly, letting his emotions slip for a second while he could, when no one was watching.

Rachel's heart went out to her boyfriend, nodding as she pressed her lips against his. “We'll all get through this together,” she replied, slipping her fingers through his as Lance led her to the classroom where they were. She laughed at them sitting in the chairs. “Having fun Chris?” she asked, watching him and Justin coloring a picture of Noah's ark.

“Well,” Chris colored the sky blue and then signed his name to it before looking at Rachel. “Considering I'd rather be having a root canal than watch one of my brothers from another mother get married to today, I'd say no. Other than that, I'm great.”

Rachel let go of Lance's hand to greet the guys, giving them hugs. Her heart flip flopped when she got to JC, noting how good he looked, hating that they all had looks on their faces that said they would rather be somewhere else. “I guess Mel's with Joey,” she watched them all nod and sat carefully on Lance's lap, smiling when he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“You know we can't act like this when we go back in there,” JC told them all. “I'm not saying act like fools, but we can't act like someone just died. He needs us to be cheerful.”

“He's not cheerful, so I'm not gonna pull it outta my ass, dawg. I'll stand up there pretty as you please and not say a fuckin' word. Then I'm going to go party with all the other fuckers that are here and think it's a bad idea. What?” he asked, seeing the other three men look at him. “It's a bad idea all the way around. We aren't just losing Joey to marriage, we're losing our Melly to California. It's like being kicked in the balls twice.”

“I have no balls, but I second what Justin said,” Rachel said, the conversation turning to various subjects as they waited. It was all downhill as far as she was concerned, praying that the whole day would go smoothly for everyone involved.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Melissa watched the gauntlet of emotions run across Joey's face. She reached behind him a little to the couch where his vest was sitting, picking it up and holding it out to him so he could finish getting ready. The guys should be in here, cutting up and making him laugh. Melissa had no idea what they were doing, feeling a bit guilty now. She hadn't meant to take up Joey's last hour as a single man. She buttoned it up after he got it on, going and pinning the boutonniere to the jacket in the right place. "Don't tell I helped finish getting you ready..." she'd forgotten how many times she'd messed with his clothes backstage, the quick kisses stolen as he ran off again. A smile came to her face.

Melissa blew out a breath and looked at Joey, smoothing out his jacket. "You never know how strong you are until you let go of something you thought you couldn't live without. I'm letting you go, Joey. You will always have my heart..." her voice faltered a bit but she recovered. "Promise me you'll be happy." She had to hear him say it. She couldn't say it back to him but she'd be satisfied if he said it to her.

Joey stared at Melissa, searching her eyes. He brought up a hand, palming her cheek. His thumb brushed away a tear that fell from her eye. He wasn't sure how much more he could take. How much more he could put on his heart. He wasn't sure if he could every truly recover from this. His life was about to veer off onto a path he never saw. It was about to become immensely different. He moved his vacant hand up so he cradled Melissa's face.

"I wish I had taken a lot more care of your heart," he whispered. "And I'm sorry."

There were more words he wanted to say but he couldn't speak past the lump in his throat. He wasn't sure if he could put that kind of weight onto Melissa's shoulders. He loved her too much. He had to take a page out of her own book. He had to lie to her. Lie so she could move on. How much it pained him to even think about, that she would find someone out there that would make her happy. Who would cherish her as much as he cherished her. "I"ll be happy, my Bambina." He leaned down and softly kissed her lips. When he pulled back he watched as Melissa quickly turned around and headed for the door. "I love you," he whispered as the door closed.

Joe Fatone, Senior came to the door of the room where Joey was. His friends were talking quietly, giving their friend a few moments. He looked at the expressions on their faces and paused. It didn't feel like a wedding should. It felt forced, like the real emotions were running just under the surface. "I need to talk to my son for a moment," he'd told them before they could get back into where Joey was. He opened the door and went inside the room, the door closing with a soft click.

Joey looked at his father and shook his head slowly. "Don't say it, Pop. I don't think I can hear it...I have a child to think about, I want to be there for that child.." he said, leaning heavily on the table that was in the room.

“You have a big heart Joey," the older man said, putting a hand on his son's shoulder. "You're a good man. You have family and friends that love you. No matter what you do." He'd seen Phyllis and Rachel sitting with Melissa and he'd walked on before he could get choked up. They'd all put on a brave face; hers braver than most. "You do whatever you think is right."

"What I think is right and what I'm doing is two different things. How do I know this is right, Pop? I don't know if this will work, if it will blow up in my face! Kristen says she loves me, but I don't know if it's for me or for what's in my checking account and my lifestyle. The baby's just another part of it..." anger came to his voice. "You have no idea how many times I wished I could go back and change what happened. It makes me sound like a horrible person." Joey stood up and took a deep breath. "I haven't just sat and thought about it all..."

Justin stuck his head in the door, feeling bad for interrupting. "You got five minutes, just so you know," with that he was gone.

"Did I mention tonight was open bar?" Joey said, attempting to smile. His father gave a small grin

"Just be sure this is what you want."

It wasn't what Joey wanted, but it was what he wanted for his child. He wanted his child to have a father and mother both in their life. He wanted what he could give them. A good life and a secure future, a loving parent. "I'm sure," he said, making sure everything looked just right before he went out. Joey gave his friends a nod. "Let's go, ladies," he smiled at them, flicking his brother Steven's ear.

"There's a back door..the limo's parked out there," Justin hissed to Lance, who made a face.

"Shut up," Chris said as they all walked through the back part to go stand beside Joey.

Guests were there both sides almost full. Joey wasn't sure who was there for Kristen's side, he knew the faces on his deciding to quit looking after he'd spotted Melissa and Rachel. He swallowed hard, reminding himself that she'd let him go. She was leaving, moving off. He'd be starting a new phase in his life.

Classical piano music started playing; some that he'd told Kristen he didn't like, but if she wanted to use it he didn't care. That's how most of the wedding planning had been, her ideas, he'd not cared. That wasn't completely true, he'd cared back when he and Melissa were going to get married. He'd helped, giving his input on what he thought would be neat. Now he just wanted to get through this, say his vows and promise his life to the woman having his baby that his heart was trying desperately to love. He sucked in a deep breath when he spotted Kristen and her father at the entry of the church, focusing on her. 'You're going to be an amazing husband and father, anytime you doubt yourself, just remember me telling you,' Melissa's voice said. He tried to shoo that thought out of his mind, but it stayed as he watched Kristen walk down the aisle to him. He watched her say something to her father, who kissed her cheek before handing her off to Joey.

Lance focused hard on Rachel and Melissa as the preacher talked about love and the sanctity of marriage. They were both sitting there, impassive looks on their faces. He'd given Rachel a smile and she'd smiled back but Melissa had just shook her head slightly when he'd smiled at her. He saw her facade crack slightly as she looked away, blinking hard. He focused on what was going on around him and realized why.

“I, Joseph Anthony Fatone, Junior, take you Kristen...”

When the preacher had asked if anyone objected to Joey and Kristen getting married, there was the huge pause that ensued after it and Lance wondered how many people on Joey's side wanted to say something. Truth be told, the other four men in NSYNC had given serious thought to protesting. The only thing that stopped them was that Joey had insisted he wanted to get married. That and Melissa had shown up determined to support Joey. She'd come with a brave face and was now clapping politely with the rest of the crowd as Joey and Kristen kissed. No matter how Joey felt, Lance knew in his heart that it wouldn't ever be right. He'd accept Kristen only as Joey's wife, but that didn't mean he liked the other woman that was now in his best friend's life.

Melissa inched towards the side of the pew that was along the wall. There was a side door not far from them, leading out to a side hall. She'd done what she said she would. Now all she wanted was to leave and go back to the hotel where the reception was being held without having to go through the receiving line. As much as she loved Joey, this was one thing she couldn't do. She wasn't going to greet them both and plaster a smile on her face when her whole world had just ended a few moments ago. Over dramatic maybe, but all she wanted was out of the church. She jumped when she felt a hand on her arm.

“We can beat traffic, haul your ass, woman,” Rachel reassured her as they headed a different direction from the crowd. “Are we going to the reception?” she asked, figuring it was a big fat no as they got to the rental car Melissa had brought to the wedding.

“And torture myself more? No thanks,” she replied, sliding into the passenger side as Rachel got in. She wondered why they weren't going and realized she'd been spacing out for a moment as Rachel talked. “What?” she asked, clearly not having heard a word her best friend said.

“I was just telling you that I thought you did real good,” Rachel repeated as she started the car, seeing whatever walls Melissa had up were coming down. “Let's get out of here. All this wedding crap's making me nauseous,” she smiled a little at Melissa's harrumph.

“If I ever get married, if someone suggests that wedding music I will throw something at their head,” Melissa made a face, shaking her head.

“It was god awful. Justin's beat boxing would have been better.”

“Getting root canal would have been better.” Melissa and Rachel started suggesting outrageous wedding songs, ranging from Billy Idol's 'White Wedding' to songs from various cheesy movies. By the time they got back to the hotel, they were both laughing so hard they had to wipe tears.

Rachel took a shaky breath and looked over at her best friend. “So...are we still going with Plan A?” she asked, watching Melissa nod. Plan A had been hatched on the plane ride over. They would forgo the wedding reception to have a party in Lance's room. Rachel would miss out dancing with Lance and JC, but she wasn't going to spend the next few hours watching Melissa live through seeing Joey and Kristen being true newlyweds and acting disgustingly happy. She wasn't sure she could stomach it either.

*^*^*^*^*^*^

“I love you,” Joey told Kristen, pulling her close and kissing her when they got out to the foyer to greet the guests that had come to the wedding. He smiled at her, looking down at the metal band that encircled his finger. “What do you think, Mrs. Fatone?” Joey's smile lessened a little as the words rolled off his tongue seeing her smile widen.

“I think I can't wait for later tonight after the reception,” Kristen replied gazing down at the rings on her finger. No one would say a word if they snuck off a little bit early from the reception and went to their room. “I'm just glad we got married now. I can't imagine trying to waddle down the aisle,” she told Joey, kissing him once more before the ushers opened the doors to let guests start coming out.

Joey pasted a smile on his face, but his mind was a mess as he hugged people, accepted congratulations and laughed. He'd tried to get the wedding date pushed back, but Kristen had insisted, getting an ugly look on her face when Joey told her they made wedding gowns for pregnant women and he hardly doubted she'd be the first ever to wear one. That was an ugly one sided fight, with Joey sitting there spacing out as Kristen yelled at him. He'd went to bed, telling her she could leave when she was done. Now here he was, married with a tour about to start. Wade had swallowed his tongue when Joey told him he'd be back from his honeymoon three days before the tour started. The last thought that came to his mind was Melissa moving. No more just going to Lance's to hang out with her. She was separating herself from him. He wondered briefly if he could convince Kristen to move to the west coast, but knew that wasn't possible. He wasn't going to keep his child across the country from both sets of grandparents. He came back to the present as Lance and Melissa's parents stepped in front of him, giving them both what he hoped was a warm smile.

“We're so happy for you, Joey,” Linda Bass told Joey, kissing his cheek in a motherly fashion, hugging him tight. “You know you're family...” she whispered as Joey nodded mutely. She was surprised when Joey held on to her a second longer, patting him reassuringly on the back before letting him go and smiling. “I think this is the first time in a couple of years I've seen you fully shaved.”

Joey shrugged and accepted James Bass' hand for a handshake. “It doesn't happen very often. You know someone hated me to shave..” he cut it off there, letting Linda speak to Kristen as he hugged James. “Thanks for coming.”

“We wouldn't have missed it,” he replied, squeezing Joey's shoulder affectionately.

They got through all the guests and were standing there with the wedding party when Kristen said the words Joey had hoped to avoid.

“I didn't see your sister, Lance. Did she come?” Kristen said sweetly as if nothing was wrong with asking Lance as the guys and Joey all eyed each other.

Lance eyed Joey and then Kristen and decided to play nice. They had wedding pictures and then the reception. He could be nice to her for that long, since she was married to Joey. “Yeah, she was here. She and Rachel probably bailed . They're like that...James Bond stuff.”

“Oh well I was wanting to ask her about doing some drawings for the baby's room-”

“Are you kidding me, Kris?” Joey interrupted her, glaring. “You're kidding right?”

“She told me she wasn't going to draw for a while, so I don't think that will work,” Chris interjected, hoping it would diffuse the situation. He breathed a sigh of relief when no one said anything else about it and the couple was called back in for pictures.

“Is she fuckin' serious?” Justin exclaimed, jabbing his finger in the direction Joey and Kristen had went. “Tell me we are not going to have to put up with that shit.”

“Justin, we're in a church,” JC pointed out once again, sighing.

“I know where I am. I just watched one of my best friends marry someone who's going to make him miserable for the rest of his life.”

“Come on, man. We all have to be supportive..it's not going to be easy with Mel moving to California,” Lance pointed out. This wasn't the Melissa Bass he'd known, the same person who hated traffic and driving was moving to a place where there were six lanes in one direction. “Sounds sort of selfish..she'll freak out about the traffic and come home.”

“Rachel said she was going out there with her for a few weeks before she comes back on tour with us...She'll fly out and see her at least once a month,” Lance told them all. “I asked her why she was moving...she couldn't give me a straight answer.”

“She's running away,” Joey said quietly as heads snapped up. “When it becomes to big to deal with, if she can't hide, Mel runs away,” his voice was quiet and his hands were stuffed in his pockets. Kristen and her group of bridesmaids were in the church getting pictures taken so he'd come out to where his friends were. Joey cleared his throat. “Just let her go...if that's what she wants.”

Justin watched Joey stand there a minute before walking off in the direction of the restrooms. “I knew one of us should have said something when the preacher asked. The whole world's fucked up now,” he growled, shaking his head sadly.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Rachel and Melissa grinned as they lined up the bottles along the dresser the mini bar sat on. There was beer, a couple bottles of wine and two different bottles of hard liquor. Also included were Coke and Sprite, plus some snacks. They'd also raided Chris' fridge and gotten his alcohol as well, leaving his door open between his room and Lance's.

“Well, let's get this party started,” Melissa told Rachel, popping the cork on the wine and pouring them both glasses almost full. “I don't want to remember any of this. Maybe the part before the wedding when I went to talk to Joey. That was nice,” she sipped her wine and sat down on the end of Lance's bed.

“Yeah, did he like his present?” Rachel asked her, watching her nod and sipped her own wine. She wasn't a wine person per se, but this blush they were drinking was good.

“They were a hit. I helped him get ready...we talked and I told him goodbye and kissed him. Then I came out to where you were.”

“No tears, Mel,” Rachel told her, leaning over to grab the remote off of the nightstand. “Let's watch some television. Get those thoughts out of your mind. We will have fun,” she told her friend, stopping at MTV. She poured them both a shot of whiskey and they downed it. Another one had them smiling.

“I wanna go downstairs,” Melissa said after a few moments. “I can stand it for that long.”

“You're sure?” Rachel asked, looking her friend over. When Melissa nodded once more, Rachel grabbed her clutch and the key card. “The moment you want to come back up and party just the two of us, say the word.”

“I hope to be stupidly drunk by then, but if I'm not, I'll definitely let you know. We can come back to the room and finish what we started.” Melissa knew Rachel had wanted to dance with Lance and Josh and she didn't want to miss seeing the guys and Joey's family that usually only came in for holidays. It was selfish, but in a way, she wanted to see Joey too. Even if he wasn't hers, she could still love him from far away.