Rachel let the cab driver put the last of her bags in the back of the taxi before turning to Melissa. She smiled at her, pulling her in for a one armed hug. “You sure you don't want me to stay longer?” she asked once more, listening to Melissa sigh heavily. The last week had been a trying one, and Rachel was worried about her friend being alone. However she also knew that Melissa didn't want to be babysat.
“I'm fine, Weatherly. Besides, you have some hot guys waiting on you,” Melissa smiled, looking over Rachel after she pulled back. It was a wonder to her how she could look so put together in just a t-shirt and jeans, her hair and make up done. Not a lot, just the right touches to make it look like she was wearing more than she was. “I could have driven you in that piece of shit,” she looked over Rachel's shoulder to the parking spot next to the taxi. The insurance company had sent her a Ford Focus until they got the check cleared for her vehicle.
“You can't drive with a cast on, Mel. And besides, you hate that car.” Rachel hugged her again. “I'll call you when I land in Seattle,” she told her, going to catch up with the tour in Washington. “Call me if you need anything.”
“I will,” her friend promised, waving to her after she'd gotten in the vehicle. Melissa watched Rachel leave and hobbled back into her apartment. She stood just inside the threshold a minute after the door closed and sighed heavily. Tears pricked her eyes and for the first time in a long time she felt alone. Her eyes fell on the pictures that were sitting there. Rachel had taken out the ones of her and Joey, telling her that it wasn't fair to have to look at him every day. Putting her weight on one of the crutches, she went up to the guest room and flipped the light on. The box was sitting next to the closet and she dug a picture out and smiled, letting a tear drop. Her mind screamed at her, telling her that Joey wasn't hers, that he'd hurt her, written her off as the past. Melissa stared at the picture of them smiling and gingerly sat down against the wall and put her head in her hands and sobbed. No one was there to tell her she couldn't or would admonish her for crying over Joey. She could hear Rachel's voice in her head telling her that Joey didn't deserve her tears. And Justin's calling him a stupid motherfucker. What hurt the most was that Melissa still cared, even if she was heartbroken.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*
“We're at the arena taking a break between sound check and meet and greet,” Lance told Rachel as he sat in the dressing room. JC was sitting on the opposite end of the couch from him, looking down at his notebook and tapping something out with his pen. Justin and Chris were playing a video game and Joey was...Lance looked around and didn't see Joey. It didn't surprise him. His best friend had become scarce once it had been found out that he'd quit speaking to Melissa. The only time Joey and Lance had really interacted was on stage, and even then it was just for the show. Every time Lance had tried to find out what happened, Joey would just snarl and tell him to mind his own business. “What did you say?” he said, snapping him out of his thoughts when he heard his full name from his girlfriend's lips.
“I asked if you were ready to see me,” Rachel said, smiling at the fact she was early. She'd gotten bumped to an earlier flight than she was supposed to have. It was going to be a surprise to him, since they weren't expecting her until it was almost time for the show to start.
“Of course. More than ready,” Lance assured her, smiling and pushing himself up off the couch. “You'll be here in about two hours right? Enough time to come backstage and give me a kiss,” his grin widened as he thought about her, going out of the room they were in and down to the room marked catering.
“Well, you see...I sort of left out the fact that I'm in Seattle already. So in about, oh, ten minutes I should be there. Let the smooching begin,” Rachel told him, laughter in her voice.
Lance's voice dropped a little as he pulled the phone closer. “Would you rather be kissing me or someone else?” he teased, listening to Rachel suck in a breath.
“I plead the fifth,” Rachel finally said, smiling. “I know you might be okay with it all, it's just...I'm still taking it all in.” Rachel wasn't about to admit her thoughts were usually split between the two men. That she thought about Lance and then Josh more than she cared to tell him.
“Fine. Just remember what we talked about. Hurry up, I wanna see you,” Lance told her, hanging up his cell phone. He grabbed a bottled water and twisted the cap off and took a drink. He'd had a week and a half to think about Rachel and JC being together. While it made him wonder about himself, he couldn't deny that he liked the thought of them together. He could trust Josh.
Rachel paid the cab driver and made sure her hard card was around her neck before turning to the back of the arena. The fans weren't allowed back there, where the tour buses were and her eyes narrowed as she spotted someone leaning against one of the walls. As she got closer, her gaze hardened until she was standing in front of Joey, watching him inhale on a cigarette. “That's a nasty habit. Just like you telling my best friend you wanted nothing to do with her. Actually you didn't tell her because you weren't man enough.”
Joey dropped the butt of the smoke and lit another, knowing he wasn't going to go anywhere as long as Rachel was talking to him. And truth be told, he wanted to hurt. He wanted to know how much he'd hurt Melissa so that he could make himself keep going. “Tell me how you really feel, Rachel...What happened?” he asked, mirth in his voice.
Rachel reached back and slapped Joey across the face as hard as she could with her left hand, her whole body turning and her hand throbbed with the blow. “You bastard,” Rachel hissed, a satisfied smirk on her face when a large red welt appeared. The only part that disturbed her was that Joey didn't look angry. He looked relieved in a way, like he knew he deserved whatever she dished out. “I had to drug her up to get her to stop crying. And when I couldn't do that anymore, I had to listen to her ask my why you would do that. You wanted her gone from your life...I'm glad she is. You aren't anything like the man I thought you were. I wouldn't let you near her.”
Joey just nodded and shrugged, taking another drag off the cigarette. He hated smoking, but he wasn't about to take up drinking or drugs. This was the least of the evils and it was something to do to keep his nerves from fraying completely. “I guess it's a good thing then. I'm not near her and she doesn't have to worry about me.”
“Unlike you, she doesn't just quit worrying about her friends. Or caring. Even if you don't deserve another thought from her,” Rachel spat. “So while you're living your wonderful life, just know that my friend is all alone out in California. I hope you're happy with that.”
Joey watched her leave and leaned his head back on the wall and closed his eyes. He could picture Melissa's face as if she was standing there, her voice. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Kristen standing there, a smug look on her face. “You know that's not healthy,” she told him, watching Joey flick ashes off his cigarette.
“Neither is eating food you buy, but somehow I manage to choke it down,” Joey replied, taking a long drag and then putting his cigarette out and stepping away to blow the smoke away from her. He allowed Kristen to run her arm through his, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Rachel's here.”
“Oh good, that means another girl to hang out with,” Kristen told him as they walked along. She watched Joey's demeanor change, relaxing as they got closer to the door, loosening up. “She has to like me. I'm part of the NSYNC family now.”
Joey suppressed the urge to tell her that she wasn't a part of it, but he just smiled and nodded. “Rachel is her own person. She'll decide how she feels. I don't think you should push it, Kris.” It would have been easier just to tell his wife that Rachel would probably rather put a red hot poker in her eye than be friends with Kristen, but he could only handle so much and he was close to snapping. “When do we get to have an ultrasound?” he asked, changing the subject as he held the door open for her.
“A couple of weeks. I'm flying to Pittsburgh to my doctor,” she told him, watching as he nodded agreeably. “I'll try and make sure it's on a day you can fly up there.”
Joey raised an eyebrow at her. “We'll be on the east coast in a couple of weeks. So it's not a big deal,” he put his hand on the small of her back and walked with her down to the dressing room. He smiled and kissed her softly on the lips. “See you in a little bit,” he said, hearing Justin call out his name, aggravated he was holding them up.
“You smell like cigarettes,” Kristen made a face and pushed Joey away, glad when he turned and went to catch up with the guys. Her hand went to her stomach and she pulled out her phone, looking at her messages. Other than being on a bus and dealing with her husband's moods, everything was still wonderful, at least in her way of thinking. One less thing to worry about since Lance's sister had moved. Her phone chirped and she smiled, replying to her sister about something to do with the baby. It wouldn't be but a few more months they would be a family.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
“Uptown girl, you've been living in your uptown world,” Chris sang to Rachel as they goofed off for sound check, smiling at her blush.
“Listen boy, I don't wanna see you let a good thing slip away,” Justin sang, another Billy Joel song coming to him as the other four guys harmonized with him. “Tell her about it, tell her everything you feel, give her every reason to accept that you're for real...”
Lance pulled Rachel to him as they waltzed across the stage over to where the band was, the rest of the guys following. “We missed you Rach,” he said, watching as JC sat down at the piano.
Rachel felt a blush creep on her cheeks as she was deposited on the seat next to him, watching him pick out notes on the piano, giving her that grin that made her weak in the knees. His true smile that made his eyes crinkle up. He winked at her and he looked at the rest of the guys, giving them a nod. They switched songs and and JC's voice floated across the notes, without the aid of microphones.
“You drive a pretty car, you know how fine you are and nobody needs to say it. They love the clothes you wear, they compliment you and I just love the way you play...but the only thing you dream of money can't buy for you, and in my dreams I'll make your wish come true...” Josh winked at Rachel before the other four voices joined in the chorus. He was putting his heart out there, singing this song to her. He'd hoped doing the other songs in fun would make it seem not so serious. He'd never been this nervous before and he smiled a little at her.
“Gotta listen to your heart and not your mind,” JC sang, reaching over for Rachel's hand. Neither of them noticed that the other four had moved off until they looked up and noticed that they were over talking to some of the guys in the band.
“That was wonderful,” Rachel told JC, looking at her hand in his, her heart trying to jackrabbit out of her chest. “Mel always teased me with that song,” she gave a shy smile and finally lifted her head so her eyes could meet his. She couldn't remember when they were so blue and she swallowed hard. “Josh...I can't..”
“Just tell me there's a chance, Rachel,” JC whispered. “That's all I want to hear. That we'll do what we have to do for now,” his voice took a hard edge to it, like he was holding back emotions. “If I don't have a chance...I'd rather just know.”
“I'm in love with you,” Rachel blurted out. It wasn't loud, but she shocked herself, turning away to where her back was to him. She frowned, hating herself for letting her feelings come out so fast. She didn't even know if he felt the same way.
JC sat there, not sure of what to say or do. He was expecting Rachel to tell him to back off a little maybe, or flirt, not say she was in love with him. A smile spread across his face that made him wonder if he'd gone crazy. “I...” he looked over to where the guys were, then back at Rachel. JC was scared to admit his feelings. “I'm in love with you too,” he said softly, looking out into the arena. “I just don't know how we're supposed to do this. I mean....I'm not supposed to love a girl I can't have.”
Rachel watched the emotions play across his face and felt bad. He was trying to do the right thing. He didn't want to make her leave Lance, but at the same time, this was a chance to see if she could trust a man with her heart. “No one said you couldn't have me, C. It's just complicated.” She looked around at the potential eyes and ears, knowing that this wasn't the ideal place to keep the conversation going. Even them being like they were might raise a couple eyebrows.
Josh's fingers ran over hers before going to pluck the ivory keys softly. “Complicated,” he gave her a chuckle before turning back to the piano, “that's the nice way of saying fucked up.” His eyes met hers. “Here's to us then,..to the beginning of us that no one knows about. We can finish this discussion later in private. Away from all this,” he waved his hand towards the guys and stage crew still setting up.
Rachel knew that wasn't quite true, since she figured the other four men had some inkling of an idea, but to the public in general it would be a secret. One she would be more than willing to keep. She gave him a nod and a smile, suppressing a giggle as she watched him get up and wander over to where the rest of the guys were.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
“So, what are you doing?” Rachel asked, listening to the noises on the other side of the phone.
“I'm up dancing, Rach,” Melissa said dryly, standing and looking in her fridge. “No, I'm leaning on my fridge door looking at lots of food I don't want to stand here and make. What are you doing? Shouldn't you be hanging out with my brother and trying not to make goo goo eyes at Josh?”
“I don't do that,” Rachel blushed anyways, watching the crew set up the rest of the stage, sitting on the front row. “It will be weird without you here.” She listened to the door shut and then the noise of a crutch smacking the floor.
“You'll be alright. You can hang out with Kristen.”
Rachel tried not to laugh at the gagging sound her friend made while talking about the other woman. “You're horrible. Did you find something to eat?” she questioned, listening to the harrumph and cursing.
“No. I will later. I think I'm going to try to sleep some,” Melissa said, wanting an excuse to get off the phone.
“You better eat, Mel. You have to eat to take your meds...” she frowned, now wishing she hadn't left so quick.
“Rachel, I'll eat. I promise. I'll order Chinese or something,” Melissa told her, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes. “Have fun at the concert. Tell Chris and Justin hi.”
“I will. I'll call you later. I have news,” Rachel smiled once more at what she and JC had shared, saying her goodbyes and hung up the phone. She wandered back to the dressing room, watching the guys get ready. Well, everyone but Joey. “Where's Joey?” she asked Justin, frowning at his shrug.
“Fuck if I know. He rarely stays still, chica. I think his new hobby is seeing how many smokes he can have between now and the show. I wouldn't have fucking gave him the first one, ya know?” Justin threw an arm around Rachel. “Besides, you got enough men to worry about, right? Aren't four of us good enough?” he sent her a wink and hugged her lightly, not brushing against her arm.
“I'm doing good with just one, Timberlake. I'm not a groupie,” Rachel leaned on him a moment. She smiled when JC walked by them and told them to quit grab assing.
“You're just jealous, Chasez,” Justin told him, chuckling.
“Be nice to him,” Rachel said, poking Justin hard. “I'd hate to have to mess up your pretty hair.”
Justin jumped and looked at Rachel. “You're damn mean, woman. Even without Mel here. This tour just got whack.”
“Quit bitching choir boy. Get ready so I can see you sing and shake your money maker,” Rachel patted Justin's cheek and smirked before going to sit down beside Lance. “I got Justin stirred up, my work here is done,” she said, smiling at the other man as he glared in her direction and flipped her off.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Real life caught up with me. This has been sitting...but heeeere we go again on this NSYNC merry go round. Enjoy!! Thank you so much for making this a featured story! You all rock!
Story Tags: joey
