Joey shoved the guys from his room and leaned back against the closed door. He pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes and his head fell back with a light thud. He groaned out loud and rubbed his hands over his face before raking them through his hair; causing it to stick up on ends. He could feel the water dripping and knew it was making a puddle on the floor where he stood.

His sleep clothes, now wet, hung against his body. His anger at JC had now faded and he realized he hadn't been acting himself lately. How was he to know this would happen? How was he supposed to know when Melissa left, his life would change this drastically? That it would become this dull, bleak, gray existence?

At first he blamed it on Mel. It was the easiest thing to do since she was the one that left. Joey threw himself into work. The concerts, sound checks, practices came and went. All while not caring about any of it. Until it came time to sing “This I Promise You”. He'd told the guys about Ashleigh and it was the one thing that made his world a bit better; made him not feel like such a bad guy. He looked over at his open suitcase and wondered if there was any clean clothes in there. He'd washed them sometime in the last week. Mel was always the one grabbing their dirty clothes, sitting at a laundromat or in a hotel laundry room to make sure nothing was stolen; her excuse was that she had the time. And that one of them didn't turn a whole load of whites some horrific color.

The night before came back to him somewhat. Mostly it was just like the previous one, sitting in his room with a meal from room service, flipping channels. Four o' clock in the morning came and went when Joey figured out he needed to get to bed. Now he stripped his shirt off and shorts, leaving them by the bed, grabbing the first clean shirt and pair of jeans he came to, along with socks and underwear getting dressed.

Looking at his reflection in the mirror, Joey picked up the razor and stared at it a moment. There was no one here to impress. Kristen wasn't coming for another couple of weeks and Mel wasn't there...He growled and turned the water on and grabbed the shaving cream.

“You ready?” he heard Lance ask when the door beeped that a key card was being used, seeing his friend come into his line of site.

“Almost,” Joey replied, wiping his face off with the washcloth to get it clean, grabbing some aftershave.

“Be glad Mel's not here,” Lance said, suddenly wishing he hadn't mentioned his sister's name, seeing the look on Joey's face. The pained one that seemed to be a constant when he and Joey were around each other. “Sorry...I just..you know how she was about your goatee.”

“Yeah, that's why I shaved it. She's not here, is she?” Joey snapped, throwing his razor and stuff into his toiletries bag. “I'm not gonna go cry like some little damn girl every time you say her name. You all act like I can't function without her.” Joey knew it was true, but it made him mad to think his friends knew it too.

“I didn't say that,” Lance told him, holding his hands up in defense.

Joey sighed and shook his head. “I know, man. Sorry. Just seems like nothing's going right.”

Lance had no answer for his friend as they headed out the door and found the rest of the guys waiting. They had a radio station interview and then a photo shoot. Lance's phone buzzed, playing a song before it stopped.

“You talked to her?” Joey found himself asking, kicking himself for wanting to know. He'd willed his phone to ring, praying it would. It had rang in the past month, but it wasn't who he wanted to talk to.

Lance shook his head. “Not for a couple of days. Mel's busy, trying to get her classwork done. She hates math...” he sighed when his phone beeped, then rang. “Hey,” he said, looking at Joey and then turning away. “Yeah, he shaved...how did you know?” Lance smiled and shrugged, hitting Chris on the shoulder figuring Chris snapped a pic of Joey. “They have tutors for that sort of thing, Mel. I suck at College Algebra.”

Joey held his hand out for the phone, not taking no for an answer until it was finally given to him. “What's the sitch?” he asked, keeping his voice even.

“I was talking to Lance, not you,” Melissa said with a sigh, looking at her Math book. “It's just a stupid math problem, Joey.”

“And I'm good at stupid math problems. And I'm good at saying stupid shit.” It wasn't an apology, but it was a sorry of sorts, an admission that Joey was one of those guys that knew he said the wrong thing at the wrong time.

“Really? So you're admitting to being a jackass.”

Joey held his tongue and sighed, rubbing his eyes then raking his hair. “Do you want help or not?” He would have begged if he'd been by himself, said anything to keep her on the phone.

“No...I'll figure it out,” she said after a few minutes, clearing her throat “I'll talk to you later. I gotta get ready for work.”

Joey listened to the dial tone in his ear and handed the phone back to Lance, not looking at any of them. “She had to get ready for work,” he muttered, folding his arms and burying himself down in the seat. The gray existence was back, coupled with the few seconds of normal. He hated it even more now.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

Melissa let a breath out she hadn't even realized she was holding. She couldn't pretend that it was normal, just talking to Joey about math. A few tears fell and she wiped them away quickly. The past month had been hard. She'd done everything to keep her mind occupied, to not think about the man that had insulted her and broken her heart. It hurt more than she thought it would after leaving. Travis had called quite a bit, and she was glad she had him, but he wasn't the same as Joey. Melissa tried hard to put Joey out of her mind and had mostly succeeded until she heard his voice on the phone.

She'd lied to him too. Work wasn't until this afternoon, but it took her a while to get ready, to get up the want to for getting a shower and dressed, even putting on make up. It was just the same thing over and over again, including the math homework she didn't understand.

There was a buzz that announced someone was at the house, then a few moments later the doorbell rang. Melissa was in the middle of gathering up dirty clothes to find clean ones when she went to answer the door, a big smile coming to her face.

“Rach!” she yelled, opening the door and dropping the clothes, hugging her friend tight. Rachel Weatherly was her best friend since their freshman year of high school. “How was The Hamptons?”

Rachel hugged her back, laughing. “Oh you know, rich people trying to be snobby. It was alright, but I'm glad to be home. Why aren't you on tour? Your mom wouldn't give me any details,” she said, coming in and making herself at home, going to the fridge and grabbing a Pepsi before turning back to her best friend.

Melissa shut the door and gathered up the clothes. “You have three guesses and the first two don't count,” she said, going to the laundry room. They had someone to come clean one day a week, but she and Lance had both agreed they could do their own laundry and cooking.

“What did your Fatoney do now?” Rachel asked, following and hopping up on the wooden table that was for folding clothes on.

“He's not mine. He has a girlfriend with big tits that likes to wear tight clothes,” Melissa informed her, putting soap in the washer, groaning when she realized she'd grabbed the Tide. “See what you made me do? This isn't even mine.”

“So your clothes smell good. That doesn't answer why you are home.”

“I'm taking classes for college and I got a job. That's why I'm home.” Melissa didn't look at Rachel, watching the water fill up in the washing machine. She'd rewash the clothes later in Purex.

Rachel narrowed her eyes at Mel, taking a long drink. “I know when you're lying. If my grandparents hadn't made me go on our family vacation, I would know what the hell was going on...so spill it, Bass.”

Melissa sighed, haltingly telling her the story. She didn't leave out any details, even the kissing part and the hotel. “It's been a month, Rach. He hasn't called and I'm not sure I want him to. It's easier to just pretend that he's just another guy.”

Rachel had listened, getting down to hug her friend. “I love you, ya know. And Joey's like the little kid that rides the short bus you can't help but love, but there are times I'd love to just smack the crap out of both of you.”

“I know. That's why you're my friend.”

Melissa felt better than she had in a while, joking and talking with Rachel as she picked up her stuff around the house and then got ready for work.

“You know since I'm back, we need to go to lunch,” Rachel informed Melissa, pulling a drawer open and shutting it when she saw pictures stuffed in there. “You know, those should go in an album. Stuffing them in a drawer makes it cluttered.”

“Thank you, Martha Stewart,” Melissa said, deciding there was nothing else she could do to her hair. She tucked in her shirt and grabbed a belt.

“When did you get so fashion forward?” Rachel asked, noting the new t-shirts that had the Aeropostale logo and jeans of the same.

“Shut up. I work there, so I have to have the clothes. And lunch sounds good. I get out at one tomorrow,” Melissa told her, sticking her tongue out.

Rachel rolled her eyes and shoved her friend out the bedroom door. “I'll meet you at Mr. Chow's,” she saw a look cross Mel's face. “Jesus..you can't just not go eat Chinese because it's the restaurant you and Joey always go too. You go there with me, him, your mom, Lance...”

“Do you have to say that name?” Melissa asked, looking around for her purse, ignoring Rachel.

“Joey..Jooooey...JOEY!” Rachel sang the last name loudly, ducking as a magazine flew past her head and landed with a thud on the floor. “What the fuck?” Rachel glared at Melissa, picking up the magazine. “Seriously, you throw this at me?” It was a magazine of Victoria's Secret.

“It was the first thing I came to,” Melissa replied, finding her purse and keys. “See you tomorrow night, I'm going to go see about a math tutor.”

Rachel watched as her friend left, sitting back down on the couch. Lance had always told her she could come and go as she pleased, even though she didn't have a key. Their house was nice, as nice as her parents where she lived. Looking around, she could see the different elements of decorating and then wandered back into Melissa's room, pulling the drawer back open that held the pictures. “You stupid idiot,” she muttered, picking up a picture of Joey her friend had taken, him giving a goofy smile and thumbs up. Taking out the photos, Rachel grabbed the photo album that was stuffed in her friends closet, still with the price tag on it. “I needed a reason to not go home yet,” she told herself, wondering if Melissa realized what she saw in the pictures.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*

“Mister Chow, we're here!” Melissa announced as she and Rachel went into the small Chinese restaurant. There were a dozen tables to the whole place; an older Chinese man came to see them from the back, a big smile on his face.

“You not on world tour?” He grinned, hugging her and then Rachel, wagging a finger at her taller friend. “You tell me last time wontons were no good. I make fresh just for you.”

Melissa laughed at Mr. Chow, putting in her usual order and listening to Rachel give him a hard time. They sat down in their usual corner booth. The whole restaurant smelled wonderful and it had been a while since she'd been here. Lance's birthday in fact. It was where she'd come since she was little on her birthday and for any major milestone. Mr. Chow had even thrown her a graduation dinner.

“So what are we doing tonight? Should I be afraid and go get some bail money?” she asked Rachel who was stirring sugar into her iced tea.

“No bail money needed. You worry too much,” Rachel replied, the girls talking about different things as their soup and wontons were brought out. It wasn't too long before they were in Wal-Mart in the toy section.

“I can't believe they made these,” Rachel made a face at the Britney Spears doll before grabbing one of JC. “Come on,” she said, handing Melissa one of Lance and Justin.

“What are you doing?” she hissed, grabbing Chris and Joey's figures and following her to the Barbie aisle. “If we open these, we have to buy them, Rach.”

“Shut up. A drop in the bucket, my young padawan learner.” Rachel opened all of the NSYNC dolls and then a couple packages of the Barbies and began to arrange them in precarious positions, along with a bucket of army men fighting Mr. Potato Head, taking pictures with her phone, sending them to Lance.

The best part was when Rachel got Melissa to do a wrestling style announcing of the whole event starting with the announcement of “Attention Wal-Mart shoppers...” from the loudspeaker PA.

Melissa laughed so hard she cried, wiping tears as little kids drug their parents to see the toys, making up stupid stuff. They left the whole display there in the middle of the toy aisles, going to snag a couple of bikes and ride around the store before they were asked to leave.

By the time the night was over, Melissa and Rachel had danced across crosswalks and on sidewalks, and sat and made fun of girls that would walk by and oogle over the picture of Justin Timberlake in the mall in the music store.

“He looks like a poodle if he doesn't gel his hair,” Rachel yelled at a couple of girls who stopped and were making kissy faces at the picture, laughing when Melissa almost fell off the bench they were sitting on.

“See, I got you laughing,” Rachel told her as they left the mall a few hours later, bags in hand. They'd went shopping and enjoyed themselves, trying on clothes and being girly. “Did you ever find a tutor for your class?”

“They are looking for one for me. I'm just SOL til then.”

“You know someone who aced math,” Rachel said, looking at her as she started her car.

“I know. He's like a freaking Einstein with that. But he's still a jerk.” Melissa said, surprised when the car came to a quick stop at a red light. “So you'd rather fail than ask for help? Who helped you pass Algebra, It certainly wasn't the damn teacher.”

Melissa leaned back on the headrest and sighed. Joey had been her saving grace in high school. He'd patiently listened to her gripe and complain, even cry, about her math teacher, then proceeded to show her how to work the problems. The teacher accused her of cheating until Linda had informed him she hired a tutor. Even though the tutor was in Europe touring at the time.

“I'll call him if I need help,” Melissa told Rachel, biting her bottom lip. “What?”

“You swear on your fedora hat you'll call him?” Rachel asked, watching her friend huff and cross her arms. “It's still hanging on your headboard. I will take it and cut it into little tiny pieces.”

“It's not my hat!” she finally relented and nodded, knowing Rachel would do just what she said. “Sometimes you are a bi-atch, Rachel Weatherly.” Melissa got her phone out and looked at the time. “He's working. No..changing. Justin's doing his beat box bit then they'll be singing “It's Gonna Be Me,” she said quietly, glad when Rachel turned up the volume on the radio so she wouldn't have to keep her mind on Joey.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*

Lance looked at the pictures again on his phone and shook his head. A part of him was really glad Rachel was back in Orlando. Another part of him wished his sister was here. They'd all missed her. He'd always just thought of her as part of the group. He snickered at the picture of Mr. Potato Head holding up an Army man, other's scattered with body parts around him.

“Who in the hell sent you that?” Justin asked, seeing the picture, stopping to look closer at it.

“Mel and Rachel,” Lance said, closing his phone. “Those two need a warning sign.”

“They need the National Guard and the SWAT team,” Justin fired back, sitting down on the couch. They were backstage getting a shower before they left again on the bus. Joey was in the shower now his cell phone laying on the table. It rang, playing “It's Gonna Be Me” and Justin snatched it up. “Melly's calling.”

“What's up babydoll?”Justin asked, not caring to answer Joey's phone.

“I..” she looked at her phone, making sure she dialed the right number. “Justin?”

“The one and only. Joey's in the shower. What you need?” Justin asked, flopping down on the couch.

“Rachel made me call,” she told him, punching Rachel in the shoulder. “Apparently I need help..”

“She's failing math!” Rachel yelled beside her.

“I'm not failing yet, you diphead,” she told her, before talking to Justin again. “I need help.”

“Two plus two equals four,” Justin told her, getting up when Joey came in. “The bald faced one is done. Love you Melly!” he sang, handing Joey the phone mouthing 'don't fuck this up'.

Joey looked at the phone and then smiled. “Hi,” he said, ignoring the kissy faces Justin was now making.

“Hi.” Melissa felt herself get nervous, hating that she couldn't just forgive Joey, that she was trying to push him away. “I need help with math. I mean, just until they find a tutor at school.”

“When's your math class?” Joey asked, wanting to say so many things other than that, but sticking with what he was given. He listened to her tell him her schedule and then her work schedule. “You send me a picture of your homework and I'll work on it and get back with you, but I'm not doing it for you.” He couldn't help but laugh and her grumbling.

“How else do you expect me to learn if you don't do it first? It's like Italian or Greek,” Melissa said, rolling her eyes when he started talking in Italian.

“Just stupid stuff,” Joey told her when she asked what he was saying, chuckling at Lance who was giving him a weird look. “Send your homework.”

“I will. And just for the record, I'm still mad.”

“Point taken,” they talked a few more minutes and Joey hung up, surprised to see his four bandmates all staring at him intently. “What? I'm helping her with math homework.”

“You have to call her every damn day, dawg,” Justin cheered, pumping his