Chapter 21- You keep me coming back for more

”And I really wish sometimes that we would just move on
But what would I be doing if you were gone
I don't wanna spend another night
Trying to figure out why you are always on my mind
All I know you keep me coming back for more
Even when I think I've had enough
When I tell you that it's over now we're done,
Don't let go, just keep me coming back for more”- “Coming Back for More” by Ashlee Simpson

**Leila**

“Oh Lord Almighty. Give me the strength to get through this…” I thought, over and over again. I probably sound like an emotional freak so let me recap a bit about my current freak out.

I was in the mood to be vindictive, to somehow show Justin that I didn’t need him anymore. I did just that by asking JC to help me record a new song (which coincidentally was about Justin. SURPRISE, SURPRISE!) and I invited my dick face ex-boyfriend Travis Inara to join us. I’d deal with a night of Travis and his annoying behavior if it meant that this would get back to Justin. I wanted him to feel like complete shit and most of all, I wanted him to regret what he had given up.

What I didn’t expect was Justin to walk through the doors of the studio, giving me a fucking heart attack. I held back any emotional outburst and forced my attention onto Travis. I promised myself that I would not let Justin know how much he had hurt me. I would not be an emotional nightmare. Girls like that are just unstable and unattractive. I would not be that type of person.

I did my best to pretend that Justin didn’t exist. It worked but was a double edged sword. While I was proud of myself for being strong, I grew absolutely miserable when realizing that Justin had bolted from the studio upon seeing me. Was I a plague to him or something?

While it hurt so badly, it taught me a lesson. I shouldn’t trust people. Especially when I was warned over and over by almost everyone I knew about said person or peoples. Ugh, I’m confusing myself now. Basically I needed to not trust anyone named Justin Timberlake. There, I fucking said it.

Now I was at some stupid party at JC’s house. Let me tell you that I didn’t want to fucking be there at all. Travis was trying to get in my pants every five seconds too, which was another fucking annoyance. I just wanted to go home and gorge on a pint of cake batter ice cream from Coldstone. I would have left too but JC kept telling me that I needed to stay and he’d make up some lame ass excuse to keep me there. Ugh. Did I mention I wanted to go home?

“Trav, can you get me a drink?” I asked Travis with a fake smile. Oh my family was going to love it when they heard I was hanging out with this jerk off. For some strange reason, they all seemed to love him. Yeah, they were the only ones. If they only knew what kind of disgusting pervert that he was. I don’t think a minute past where he wasn’t trying to look down my shirt. “Please?”

“Sure, but what do I get out of it?”

I tried not to look disgusted because I knew what he was aiming it. HA! I would never in my life touch that schemer again, “A hug?” I thought a hug was even too much for him. Travis didn’t even deserve my fucking attention.

“That’s it?” He looked disappointed. I calmed myself somehow. I repeated to myself how nice it would be for Justin to hear how cozy Travis and I were at his best friend’s house. That would make him feel like dirt. “I think I deserve a kiss.”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“On how fucking strong my drink is.” I thought to myself, laughing inwardly. There was no way I would even think about kissing Travis Inara when sober. Not that he was ugly, he was goofy looking and could be sweet when he wanted to, but he had put me through such fucked up things. I totally didn’t want to go down that road ever again.

“Uh… if you play your cards right…” I fake flirted. Ew. I don’t know how I managed to keep the bile in me. I think it’s because of my superb acting skills. Haha.

“Then I’ll run for that drink,” Travis winked at me. My stomach churned as he walked away. Blech, what a complete douche.

Travis would serve his purpose though, and then I could happily go back to ignoring his ass. My family would ultimately hate that but seriously, I didn’t want to end up with a loser like Travis. He barely bothered with school, wasn’t even close to graduating and mooched off his parent’s money. He’s the male Paris Hilton except without the ability to get into every girl’s pants. I must have been delusional when I let him in mine.

Maybe I was delusional when I let anyone into my pants, including asshole Timberlake. Ugh, I hated him so much yet I somehow still found him attractive. I could have melted into the floor when he walked into the studio, dressed so casually, his blue eyed accentuated by the blue in his polo shirt. My fantasizing must have gotten the best of me, because I could have sworn that I saw Justin himself walk into JC’s house.

That was doubtful. JC seemed as adamant of me and Justin together as maybe even Mia and my family.

“I’m baaack.” Travis grinned and shoved a corona at me. I faked a smile and took the drink. This was just another sign that showed how much Travis knew me. Everyone knew that I couldn’t stand beer. Fuck, Justin learned that fast and learned to stock his house up with gallons of Malibu coconut rum.

Justin was considerate like that…or he seemed that way. He always tried to make everyone feel absolutely comfortable around him. I think that’s what made me fall so quickly and so hard. Oh God, I was counting the seconds till I was home with my best friend aka ice cream. Diet be damned tonight.

“Thanks,” I fake smiled at him. Oh, I hated phoniness but here I was being an absolute hypocrite. Maybe none of this was worth it. Justin probably didn’t even care that I was hanging out with Travis. He was onto his new piece of ass, Lindsay, and I was just old fucking news. Lord, I was so pathetic.

I took a sip of the beer and made a face of disgust. Travis didn’t seem to catch it. He was probably too busy trying to plan how to “seduce” me. Yeah, keep the dream alive buddy, because it was not going to fucking happen.

“So uh… how about we bail out of here… you know my parents are gone for the weekend?” Travis suggested, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. Men disgusted me. Seriously. Was everything about sex to them? If so, I just planned on being single for a long time. I didn’t need to be used by anyone. I could just buy a damn vibrator. At least that wouldn’t break your heart.

“Oh um… I actually have to uh… get home early,” I said lamely. I wasn’t good at coming up with excuses on the spot. My brain just doesn’t think that fast. “Sorry… rain check.” I almost shuddered at the thought of the rain check.

Travis looked annoyed but didn’t say anything else. He slumped back in his chair and downed the rest of his drink. I fought his hand away, which tried to make its way up my skirt. Blech. That is seriously not a turn on! Instead it’s a huge fucking turn off.

I stared into space, pretending to look interested in Travis when JC was in the vicinity and then promptly ignoring him when JC was gone. Yes, I’m a fucking bitch for using this guy, but he deserved this and a lot worse. I tapped my fingertips against the leather couch and dully looked at my beer. I contemplated taking another sip out of boredom but the stingy smell burned my nose and I quickly placed the bottle back on my lap.

“Hey Lei… I figured you might like a drink you’d enjoy… I know you don’t drink anything but girly bitch drinks.”

I almost didn’t look up. I almost kept my control and ignored that voice, but my heart betrayed my mind. My heart basically told my common sense where to go and there I was, gazing up into Justin’s blue eyes. My heart felt like it might explode, literally burst out of my chest and fall straight into the palm of Justin’s hand. That was where he had me.

“Thanks,” I said as coldly as I could. I grabbed the drink from his hand and turned my attention onto Travis. Quickly, I threw my legs over his lap and caressed his face. “You know baby, maybe we should go back to your house. We have time.”

The stunned and excited look on Travis’ face and the laughter coming from Justin only served to anger me. How dare he fucking laugh at me! Was he saying that I couldn’t get a fucking guy? That son of a bitch! I hated him with every fiber of my being. I took a sharp breath in to keep myself from vomiting at the mere thought of what I was about to do.

I grabbed Travis and mashed my lips against his or at least that’s what I was trying to do. I unsuccessfully slammed my mouth into his nose. Travis yelled in pain and I nearly jumped across the couch, my hand nursing my mouth which was in absolute pain. Travis’ hand was over his nose and when I saw a trickle of blood sliding down his face, I knew I fucked up my plan of making Justin jealous.

Speaking of Justin, the asshole was doubled over with laughter. I’m mumbled an apology to Travis and then promptly dosed Justin with the Malibu Bay breeze he gave me. Turning on my heel, the entire party was in hysterics at this fiasco. The last thing I wanted to be was a joke to anyone. Embarrassed, I ran into JC’s yard, trying to hide from everyone until I could make a quick escape.

Don’t get me wrong, I was feeling bad for probably breaking Travis’ nose; even though he deserved it for being fresh with me all night. I just can’t handle humiliation. It makes me want to run the fuck away and hide from everyone. Man, why do these stupid things always happen to me?

“You know, throwing a drink on me was kind of uncalled for.”

It fucking figured that Justin was going to follow me. I sat on swing on JC’s gazebo, taking in the beautiful early summer flowers. Did Justin really have to come over and torture me some more? His presence alone made me miserable. It was all a reminder of something I had that I would never get again. Shit, my plan was back firing on me. It was making me feel like the asshole.

“So was fucking a skank… that didn’t phase you though,” I hissed back at him.

Justin tried to sit down next to me on the loveseat swing. I quickly scooted over to the farther side of the swing. Ugh, I didn’t need this right now.

“Are you calling yourself a skank? That isn’t nice Leila.”

Fuming, I scrambled up from my seat and kicked the bench as hard as I could. In my lame attempt to hurt Justin, the bench came back at me and slammed into my knee. I keeled over and grabbed my injured knee. Justin merely looked at me with amusement. That’s all I was to him, an amusement, a fucking game. Not anymore.

“Fuck you this isn’t funny! I fucking hate you and your stupid whore, Lindsay. It figures you’d find someone as slutty as you to be your girl,” I spat. “Me and you never clicked because I have morals and you don’t. Now if you’ll fucking excuse me, I need to go somewhere that is far away from you.”

I made it two steps until Justin grabbed onto my wrist. I didn’t turn around but reluctantly tried to remove his hand from my wrist. Fuck! I hated him so badly. I hated him for making me want him so bad, I hated him for breaking my heart and above all I hated him because I somehow still loved him.

“You aren’t going anywhere Leila. We need to fucking talk… now.”

**Justin**

Leila was staring at me like she couldn’t wait to get away from me. I didn’t blame her for feeling that way but it still killed me. I had fucked this all up so bad. Shit, I was such a fucking dick for doing this to her. Everyone was absolutely right when they said I didn’t deserve a girl like this. Even knowing this, I couldn’t drag myself away from her side.

“Then talk,” She said angrily, her arms crossed across her chest. Her body language showed how far away she wanted to be from me. I took a step closer to her, trying to close the gap between us. Leila wasn’t having this, she took about three steps back, and glared at me. “I said talk!”

“I didn’t fuck Lindsay. You know I hate that bitch, Leila. Think about it.”

Leila laughed bitterly at me, “Right, right. That’s why she’s fucking all over you in pictures. What kind of idiot do you take me for?”

I ran my hand over my buzzed hair. Fucking hell, how could I convince this girl that I wasn’t lying? Was it all futile? Shit, I wouldn’t allow it to be futile. I cared for her. More than I probably should have. Losing her for good was just not an option.

“Leila, I didn’t fuck her! I know better than to put my dick up in there.”

“You do realize that isn’t saying much about your fidelity in general, right?” She retorted with a roll of her eyes. “Whatever, I don’t really want to have this conversation, it’s pretty fucking pointless. You fuck other girls, the fucking end. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get going, you can go find another girl to play mind games with. That girl is not going to be me anymore.”

No! I would not let her go! Not over something as retarded as this. For once I didn’t cheat on someone and goddamnit I was going to let that be known. I walked toward Leila in large strides. I grabbed a hold of her wrist and stared into her eyes.

“Tink, you’re the only girl I’ve ever been faithful to…you know that,” I reached forward to caress her face but she quickly jerked away from my touch. I winced and felt like I was suddenly suffocating.

What if Leila didn’t believe me? What if I couldn’t convince her that I hadn’t cheated? Or even worse, what if I did and she just didn’t want to deal with the baggage that came along with dating me? I didn’t think I could handle that. As much as I had been fearful of this relationship, I also loved every bit of it. I wanted to save this; I wanted to make it work.

“Leila… I swear on my fucking mother that I didn’t touch Lindsay. I took pictures with her on purpose… because I’m a fucking bitch who got scared again.”

Leila stared at me with her mouth agape. I bet she wasn’t expecting such a blunt answer from me. I wasn’t expecting to give one like that either. I licked my bottom lip as I exhaled deeply. Leila was speechless and I wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing. I guess it was better than her laughing in my face or kicking me in the nuts.

When she didn’t speak, I took that as my cue to continue, “I fucked up again. I know this. The whole Demario and Adrianna situation just made me nervous. You know that I have my relationship issues… I just didn’t want us to end up as miserable as they are now.” Leila’s expression softened as she stared at me with understanding. Or at least that’s what I was taking the look for. It might have been wishful thinking at its best, “…and I thought I was saving us grief by trying to end this but instead I made it worse.”

I watched Leila swallow hard before finally speaking, “Adrianna and Demario are two completely different people going through an unfortunate situation. We were nothing like them, Justin.”

“I know… it’s just that me and Demario are so alike-“

“No, you are different people with different minds. Fuck Justin, did you try to end this because you wanted to follow in Demario’s footsteps or was it because you truly were scared again?”

“I don’t know…” I answered honestly. “I think it was a mixture of both.”

She shook her head at me and looked down at the ground. I approached her and this time she didn’t run away. I rubbed her biceps gently and stared at her face that refused to meet mine. I watched her inhale and exhale, trying to calm herself. I wanted nothing but to kiss her senseless, to have her melt in my arms. I knew better than to push my luck, especially right now when she was still so upset with me.

Fuck, I was upset with myself.

“You do know that you sound completely ridiculous, right?” She said incredulously and shook her head from side to side. “Because seriously, it’s the most moronic thing that I’ve ever fucking heard. You tried to hurt me and dump me because you were scared and wanted to follow in the footsteps of your asshole friend.”

“No! I didn’t mean like I wanted to purposely do what he did… De and I just live similar lives, I thought it might just happen like that. I got scared so I just backed off. It was a defense mechanism of sorts.”

“I didn’t know being a douche was a defense mechanism,” She snorted and finally looked up at me. Her eyes were glassy; she looked like she was on the verge of tears. It absolutely destroyed me to see her like that. What was worse is that she was like that because I was a dick. “You know if you were a normal person, you just could have come to me and told me this. You could have saved us both a lot of pain.”

“I just didn’t think…”

“It’s not like I smother you or anything Justin, if you were fucking scared I would have given you space. Instead you do an asshole thing that makes me feel like absolute garbage. What’s the point of that, J?”

I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the words sink in. There was no point in any of this other than to hurt her. I wanted her to hurt because I thought it would make Leila hate me faster. If she hated me, she’d be done with me for good. It was seeming like I did a fine job of that. I didn’t know what was going through Leila’s mind and that scared me. Usually I could read her like a book but now she seemed so cold and angry. It was all normal, but I just wanted to know if she still cared. If she could give me another chance…

“Do you want me to go into the party and proclaim to everyone that I’m an asshole? I have no problem doing that, Tink. I’ll do anything to make you forgive me,” I let go of her arms and turned towards the house. I didn’t get very far when Leila grabbed my arm.

“Justin, I’m not asking for any of that! Don’t be dramatic!”

I zipped around, our bodies inches from touching, “Then tell me what I can do? Tell me that there’s still hope for us. Please.”

“Well… you would have to show me that you’re not ashamed of our relationship. I would want everyone to know about it,” Leila responded firmly.

“Done, what else do you want?”

“It’s not a matter of what I want Justin, it’s what I expect out of any relationship. I think honesty is the most important thing for any two people in any type of relationship. If you’re scared, you should let me know and vice versa. If this is going to work, we need to be open. Also, don’t make me repeat myself about this. I hate sounding like a broken record and that’s what I’m becoming.”

“I’m cool with that. Very cool actually,” I smiled at Leila. I rubbed her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs. I saw that familiar blush rise in her cheeks and I smiled. Was I getting to her? Where things going to go back to how they were? “I’m sorry, Lei. Are things okay with us now?”

She looked at me and I honestly felt terrified. Would we be okay? Seconds passed and she still didn’t answer me. My heart raced due to the anticipation. Shit, I’d felt this way when it came time to the Grammys, not when it came to a female. Oh God, I was so sprung on this girl. It was abnormal.

“I don’t know…”

“Tink… please…”

“Justin, I don’t fucking know if I can trust you! I don’t want to get hurt again!” She exclaimed and threw her arms in the air with frustration. “Let’s just take this one day at a time… be friends first or something…”

My eyes widened in absolute anger, I grabbed Leila’s waist and pulled her to me, “FUCK THAT! Leila, I’m fucking sorry! I fucking care so much about you and I swear on ANYTHING that I will be the man you need me to be!”

“Justin, calm down… okay,” She spoke soothingly. “You just need to prove this to me, J…”

“What the fuck?! Leila, I just poured my heart out to you! Isn’t that enough?!”

My body was pressed against Leila’s, I was sure she could hear my heart pounding in my chest. Lord, this was not happening. I wasn’t the type of man to go this crazy over a girl. It was scary how much I cared for her. If things didn’t work out with her, I didn’t want to deal with how distraught I was going to be. Fucking hell, I just wouldn’t let it happen. For the first time in my life, I would fight for someone.

“Justin…just relax…”

I leaned down and captured Leila’s lips into a soft kiss. Even if she wanted to pull away from our kiss, I wouldn’t let her. I was holding her waist so tightly and so close to me. Nothing would make me let go of her, not even hell freezing over or the world coming to a fucking end.

Slowly, I felt Leila melt into me. The tenseness in her body relaxed and she quickly began to kiss back. Her lips parted, allowing my tongue to slide into her mouth, Her taste, her scent, everything about her was intoxicating. I sighed, loving the familiar feeling her kiss sent throughout my body.

My hands slid underneath her t-shirt and my fingertips rubbed her already hard nipples. Her hot mouth was driving me crazy, it was making me visualize what it would be like to be inside her hot, wet cunt. Fuck, I wanted her so badly. I wanted to make her want me too. I wanted Leila to cum so hard that she’d forget about everything. That was the key right? That would make it all better, wouldn’t it?

I squeezed her nipples and twisted them. She moaned into my mouth and I grinned through the kiss. It was working. I was going to make her realize that she wanted to forgive me for being a dick.

I pulled back from the kiss and looked at Leila who seemed dizzied, “Come on… come upstairs with me…”

“Okay…”

I grinned at Leila and grabbed her hand. As quick as I could, I ran towards JC’s house with Leila’s hand tightly gripped in mine. I ran up the back stairway where thankfully no one saw us. I knew I wouldn’t hear the end of it from that bitch Mia if she saw. Even JC would probably give me a stern look and lecture. Asshole needed to realize that he wasn’t my fucking Father. His advice would be taken when fucking solicited.

Reaching the top of the stairs, I walked into the first guest bedroom I saw and locked the door behind me. Without any notice, I threw Leila down on the bed and tugged her panties down her hips. She started to protest but it was quickly silenced when my tongue licked her dripping wet slit. Leila shivered at the touch and I loved it. I was going to make her do a hell of a lot more than shiver.

“J…Justin… we shouldn’t…”

“Shhh….” I soothed.

I pushed one finger inside her and then another. She was shaking, her body turning absolutely rigid. I pumped my fingers in and out of her pussy, my mouth attached to her clit. I flattened my tongue against the nub and moved my tongue across it quickly. Leila was growing wetter and wetter by the second and honestly, my dick couldn’t have been any fucking harder.

“Agh! Justin… yes!” I grinned and shoved my fingers upwards. It wasn’t hard to find Leila’s g-spot, especially after all the time we had spent getting to know each other physically.

I put my hand down on her lower stomach as she squirmed under me, her hips jerking involuntarily. Flicking her clit with the tip of my tongue a couple of more times, I looked up at Leila, “What is it baby girl? Do you like when I eat your little pussy?”

“Mmm… y-yes… I love it…” She moaned.

“Is this pussy mine?” I asked with a grin. I purposely jammed into her g-spot harder. Fuck, I loved this girl and her responses to my touch. “Tell me, Leila, is it only mine?”

“YES! Justin, I’m fucking yours!”

She was almost at her peak, but fuck, I wanted her to cum with me. I ripped my clothes off within second and positioned myself at her opening. Yes, this was going to be even sweeter. I seduced her into becoming mine again and fuck would I ever let her go again. This was probably my last chance to get it together and I wouldn’t waste it. I mean, what kind of idiot would keep making the same mistake? That’s just asking to fuck things up for good.

My cock slid into her tight hole, one I had missed for weeks now. Let me tell you, make up sex is hot after not getting it for a while. Anyway, Leila stared at me, dizzied, panting and completely flushed. I kissed her lips and slowly moved my hips in and out of her. She moaned, clutching onto my back, her hips matching the pace mine moved at.

Shit, I know this is going to sound gay, but there’s just something about sex with her. You know how people say that you’re supposed to feel all gushy inside when you have sex for the first time. Was it normal to feel that way a long while later? I didn’t know what to expect anymore. All my normalcy was thrown to the fucking wind when Leila was involved. Nothing was certain anymore, just that I cared deeply for her. When the fuck did something like that ever happen?

My hips rolled against hers and she cried out, her nails dragging up and down my back. It was sick, I was never one for that pain is pleasure crap, but this shit just felt good. Every experience with this beautiful girl felt good. I cupped her breasts, yanking on the hard nipples. She squealed and thrashing underneath me. Just watching her cry out and moan is all I need to get me to my peak.

But tonight wasn’t about me, this was about her. This was about me showing her how I felt about her. I slid out of her and slammed back in harder this time. Leila cried out and I looked at her face, hoping I hadn’t hurt her in my rush to please her.

“Baby, you alright?”

“B-b-better than alright…” She stuttered out. “You feel so fucking good… I missed this… I missed you…”

I smirked at her submission to me. She was fucking mine. There should have never been a doubt in her mind or my own about that fact. Sure, I’d fucked up things before but damnit, this girl was wholly mine. That asshole Travis didn’t deserve someone like her, neither did I really, but I’d work hard to keep her as mine. JC was right when he said that these games had to stop.

“Me too…” I pulled her legs around my waist and grinned as she locked them in place. I knew I couldn’t hold on much longer and by the flush and incessant moaning, I could tell that she couldn’t either.

I groaned as I thrusted in and out of her, each thrust harder than the last. My chest was flat against hers and I could feel her breasts bouncing underneath me. Our bodies were sticky with sweat and I just didn’t care. I was concentrating so hard on making her feel good, on making sure that she’d scream my name out.

“J…. I’m gonna…” She moaned, her pussy grinding against me. I took a deep breath in, my body shaking. Even if I wanted to keep going, I wasn’t going to be able to. I pumped my cock inside her a few more times before I busted hard. I filled her up with my cum, the remains of my sexual frustration over the last two or so weeks.

Leila came spiraling behind me, my name on her tongue as she orgasmed. Her pussy squeezed around me, milking me of the last remains of my cum. I panted as I stared down at her. She looked so beautiful, flushed red in the cheeks, her blonde hair sticking to her face. I leaned down and captured her lips in sweet kiss and she giggled tiredly.

“You fuck this up again Justin and we’re done for good… I’m serious this time…”

The scary thing was that I knew she wasn’t bluffing. I just hoped I wouldn’t bitch out like I had so many times before…