Chapter 7- Close Yet Far

“We die in this moment
And I don't want to wake from this
I can barely breathe
Suffocating on what you gave me

Take me, pull me all around
Break me, I'm yours” – “This Moment” – In This Moment

**Leila**

Justin Timberlake has to be the most confusing man I’ve ever met. He flirts with me one second; making my mouth drop to the floor and the next he’s treating me like one of his buddies. I don’t fucking understand him and I’m about to give up trying. As hot as he is, I’m not about to stand around and wait for some guy that plays games.

“J, where the fuck is the Patron... you know I don’t drink that Cuervo pussy crap like you do.” Demario huffed. The four of us, Justin, Demario, Adrianna and I were sitting poolside. It was a little chilly for the pool, but I knew Adrianna and I were ready to jump in given the word.

Seeing us dripping wet would give these guys heart attacks.

“Bro, the Cuervo is for the ladies… you know they can’t handle Patron.”

“UH… NO!” Adrianna laughed loudly, dismissing Justin’s words. “Trust me, I can handle my liquor.” Demario smirked at her with admiration. It was obvious that he had never met a girl like her before.

“And you Miss Leila? Can YOU handle your liquor?” Justin grinned at me. I wanted to melt right there. His slightly crooked smile had my heart beating out of my chest. How could someone make me feel like this?

“If I pace myself, I can.”

“Pacing yourself is boring. It’s all about getting piss drunk.” Justin laughed and shoved a pink colored drink in my hands. I eyed it nervously before looking at Adrianna who smiled and nodded at me. “Don’t worry it’s not poisoned.”

“I know THAT!” I said with a giggle. Getting drunk would mean loosening up, but would loosening up mean embarrassing myself and revealing my feelings for Justin. I don’t think I could handle the consequences that went along with speaking the mortifying truth.

“Then drink up.” The beautiful blue eyed man pushed the glass cup to my lips. How could I fucking say no now?

My lips curved against the cold glass and the sweet liquid seeped into my mouth. I decided at that moment that if I embarrassed myself, I’d blame it on the liquor. No one could really hold that against me. Besides, if I tried to molest Justin, well he had it coming for looking that fucking hot.

“Good girl.” Justin beamed at me as I swallowed half of the contents of the glass. I set it down on the table with a lazy smile.

“Can I ask what I just drank?”

“A cosmopolitan… cause you look like a cosmopolitan model!” Justin sang. My eyes locked with Adrianna as we recalled Justin singing in the studio. I kicked her under the table so she wouldn’t start laughing. Her laughing would equal me laughing and that was not a good equation!

“Isn’t that your song lyrics?” I smiled, trying to hold my own laughter in.

“You remembered them?” Justin asked, slightly taken back. I guessed he was impressed that I had paid so much attention to what he did. If he only knew how MUCH attention I actually paid to him.

Adrianna just bit her lip to hide her laughter. Bitch. I went to kick her again but ended up nailing Demario in the leg. He shot me a confused look and reached down to rub his leg. I blushed with embarrassment and quickly downed the remainder of my Cosmo.

“How could we forget?” Adrianna replied with a wide grin on her face. I giggled a little and covered my mouth with my hand, hoping they’d blame the alcohol for my giddiness.

“You two smiling and laughing already and we ain’t even blazed yet… shit.” Demario shook his head and laughed. I watched him as he carefully pulled a small plastic baggy from his pocket and a strawberry philly.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Call me a fucking prude but I had never smoked weed in my life. Was this like smoking a cigarette? I watched as Demario emptied the insides of the philly cigar into the garbage.

“Ah! I haven’t smoked in a minute. What kind do you guys have?” Adrianna perked up. FUCK! I didn’t know she smoked! Now I was going to look like the only idiot if I did this wrong.

“You smoke? I thought you were supposed to be a good girl.” Demario teasingly scolded her, a sly smile on his face as he sifted through the contents of the baggy and poured it onto the paper.

“A good girl? No.” She laughed a little looking over at him, her eyes seemed darker. “You’d be surprised at some of the things I’ve done and can do.”

“Oh really? I’d love to find out.” Demario winked at her and licked his full bottom lip.

The two of them were staring at each other, for what seemed to be minutes. I was convinced that they were going to hook up right then and there. Actually, I was hoping for it. Demario shifted closer to Adrianna and placed his arm over the back of her chair. It was obvious that he could care less about rolling the blunt, all he wanted was Adrianna.

I felt this indescribable need to give them their privacy.

“Um hello… before you two get all up on each other, can we smoke?” Justin huffed impatiently. He was staring at Adrianna and Demario with what appeared to be jealousy. Whoa, why was he jealous? Did he like Adrianna or something? Shit, now I was getting jealous!

I sent a “SHUT THE HELL UP!” look at Justin which he seemed to ignore.

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch, asshole.” Demario rolled his eyes. “You can roll this shit yourself… I’m busy.” He turned to stare at Adrianna with a smile tugging on the corners of his lips. It was obvious to every person in the vicinity that they wanted each other. Tonight would not be complete until they fully had each other.

Adrianna was a lucky girl; she was getting attention from the man she was crushing on. She must have been on cloud nine. I wanted to know what that felt like!

Justin continued to roll the blunt with expertise. He knew what he was doing and I wasn’t sure if I should be turned on by it or if a red flag should be raised. Sure, pot wasn’t a major drug, but I grew up learning that it was the gateway drug. I liked Justin though and I trusted him as well as Adrianna. I pushed away all the stupid preconceived notions of everything.

I should be fucking happy anyway; I was hanging out with the man I adored. Whether he felt the same was irrelevant.

“You ever smoke before Leila?” Justin ran the lighter over the blunt, in what I assumed was a finishing motion. I didn’t care to ask too many questions. I didn’t want to look like an idiot.

“A couple of times.” I lied. I was grateful that Adrianna wasn’t paying attention because she would have blown up my spot.

“I bet you’ve never had Afghani before… this shit’s gonna get us fucked up.”

“Nice.” I commented and bit my lip. Justin lit the blunt and inhaled deeply. He looked so perfect, sitting in the chair, his bare chest puffing out due to the inhalation.

All I wanted to do was climb on top of him and kiss him in every possible place. These thoughts of what he could do to me and what I wanted to do to him, haunted me. He was so close yet so far away. Unattainable, yet right in my plain view. Being so close to him and not feeling his lips on mine felt inexcusable, it was like a crime that needed to be reversed as soon as possible.

“Aiight… take a hit but take a small one… you’re gonna be on your ass if you do too much too fast… not that you being on your ass wouldn’t be a nice sight.” The blunt was placed in my hands and my eyes widened. I hadn’t even smoked yet and I thought I was high.

“You want to see me on my ass?”

“Preferably with your legs spread…I mean uh… sorry the weeds making my head crazy.”

Okay… WHAT THE FUCK? He did not just say what I think he did. Justin fucking Timberlake did not just hit on me. I had to be fucking hearing things now. I was totally imagining things. I could only put my twisted mind at fault for the vivid delusions my mind was giving birth to.

I placed the blunt around my lips and inhaled, mimicking the way Justin held the smoke inside. Too bad I’m not a pro and I ended up coughing within 2 seconds. A low chuckle emerged from deep within Justin’s throat, I just blushed, and I assumed I was red as a tomato by this point. I passed him the blunt which he attacked again.

“Just cause I’m talking to a fine female doesn’t mean you have to be greedy, J.” Demario snatched the blunt from Justin’s hand and inhaled sharply.

“I ain’t doing nothing.” Justin smiled innocently, slumping back in his chair. I noticed the music from the party. The echoes of people laughing and enjoying themselves filled my ears. This wasn’t only going to be a night to remember for me, but for a few dozen people dancing and drinking in Justin’s living room.

It finally occurred to me that I had no idea where Mia was. Had she left or had we unintentionally ditched her? As much as I wondered about her, I wasn’t about to get up and go look for her. I took a deep breath and hoped she wasn’t going to be too angry at me or Adrianna.

“So J, I couldn’t help but to hear you flirting with my girl, Leila… do you have a thing for her or what?” Adrianna asked suddenly. My eyes shot open in shock.

“Maybe.”

“What?!” I exclaimed and looked over at Justin. He was fighting a grin as he took another hit. Okay, now he was just being an asshole, did he or didn’t he? Fuck. Why did he have to play these games with me?!

“Here…just smoke.” He handed me the blunt again which I took with a pout that I couldn’t conceal.

We continued passing the blunt around. Most of the talking was coming from Adrianna and Demario, they seemed to really be hitting it off. I smoked a little bit more but I was quickly starting to feel light headed. I leaned back in the chair fighting a lazy smile. Why should I be smiling when I felt like shit?

“C’mere girl… I wanna try somethin’.” Demario licked his lips and pulled Adrianna onto his lap. That was enough to knock me out of my temporary gaze.

“No sex in front of virgin eyes.” Justin goofily warned. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

“Speak for yourself.”

It was his turn to be shocked now. I glanced at Adrianna and grinned slightly.  She giggled under her breath and shot an amused look my way before she turned to face Demario.

“You’re not a virgin?”

“Um no…why, are you?” I teased him. Demario and Adrianna both burst out laughing. I guess my words ruined a perfect opportunity for the two of them to kiss. I felt bad, but I knew that it wouldn’t be the last chance for them.

“Yeah, he actually is… sorry bout that, Lei… I’ll find you a real man who knows what he’s doing though.” Demario commented. I looked over at Justin and noticed the anger etched on his face.

I was confused to put it in simple terms. Did he like me or was this his high/drunk buzz talking? Men, especially Justin Timberlake are so fucking confusing. I didn’t want to deal with these stupid games, I was 20 years old. High school was long over. These petty games were annoying and I was not about to wait around for some guy to make a move.

If I kept repeating that to myself maybe I’d believe it.

“You don’t have to find her anyone. Shut your face, De.”

Demario chuckled again before taking a long drag of the blunt. He held in the smoke for a moment and then pressed his lips to Adrianna’s. Her mouth instinctively opened against his and the smoke was exchanged between the two. Adrianna inhaled the smoke, her lips brushing against his with fervor.

My mouth was practically on the floor. The emotions exchanged between the two seemed so intense. There was desperation in their touches. It was like the both of them had wanted each other for years and this was the moment of truth. The anticipation for the perfect moment was well worth it.

Adrianna’s hands roamed up and down his rock hard abs. She knew exactly what to do to drive him crazy and make her crave him more. Obviously, Demario wasn’t used to not being in control with women. He made all the moves and this was all new to him. Adrianna on the other hand, was eating up the control she had over him.

I didn’t blame her for loving the control; she had a gorgeous, half naked man at her disposal. Not to mention, that half naked man was built like a god. He was everything Adrianna wanted in a guy, goofy, hot, talented. Her next move stunned me.

Suddenly, she stood up, exhaling the extra smoke from her mouth. Extending her hand to me, she beamed brilliantly.

“Come on girl, let’s go dance.”

WAS SHE INSANE? She had Demario at her mercy and by the look on his face, he was not at all happy with the little game she was playing. I smiled back at her, wanting to laugh at the noticeable annoyance on his face. I saw him adjust his blue plaid boxers with what sounded like an accidental groan.

Adrianna was my new hero.

**Justin**

I was standing in the corner of my living room with a beer in my hand. My eyes were glued to Leila and Adrianna, dancing around to “The Jump Off” by Lil Kim booming through my Bose speakers. I licked my lips, my eyes obviously focused on Leila. Her hips were shaking from side to side as she and Adrianna grinded.

I tried to pretend I was unfazed by the way Leila danced, but that was complete bullshit. Her body was moving along with the little tassels on the bottom of her bra. It was the first time I noticed that she had a belly button ring. Some people say that piercings like that are “soooo nineteen ninety-nine” but this one seemed to fit Leila. It was cute and drew attention to her perfect stomach.

If I stared at her body forever I think I’d never get bored. Every curve seemed perfect, nothing was out of proportion. When people said there was no such thing as perfection, they obviously hadn’t seen Leila Jacobs.

I licked my bottom lip and chugged down my beer. I was losing control of my sense of right and wrong, something I should have held on tight to when coming in contact with Leila, but I was in too deep. Just knowing she wanted me was enough incentive to go over and put shit into motion.

“The two of them are fucking teases…” Demario spoke from next to me. I barely acknowledged him, but I knew by the tone of his voice that a grin was on his face. “Don’t pussy out anymore… make a fucking move on her dude. Girls like that don’t wait around.”

“I know.”

“So fucking do something.”

“I am… I’m just testing the waters… I want to get to know her first.” I said with honesty. I almost surprised myself.

“That’s not like you at all…”

“I know dude, I know. It scares the shit out of me.”

Demario laughed and put his hand on my shoulder. “At least it’s a hot girl that’s got you sprung and not some ugly, nasty bitch. It could be a lot worse.”

I rolled my eyes and let out a short laugh. Weed made me so fucking lazy that I was barely standing on my own. The wall was supporting my weight, without it I’d be on my ass on the floor.

So much had shocked me about Leila. First, she wasn’t a virgin, which I was thankful for. I’m not good with de-virginizing girls. They tend to get crazy or something afterwards, probably cause my skills are just so damn good. Haha, no seriously, I just either hurt them because I don’t fall as quickly as they do or I just can’t be there for them emotionally. It’s hard for me to open up to a girl. Girls generally just don’t understand why we men aren’t open fucking books like they are.

The second shock Leila gave me was how she claimed she smoked weed before. Part of me thought and still thinks that she was lying out of her ass. She’s too much of a good girl to do things like that, and the way she inhaled made me laugh. The girl seems to want to please me, its not fucking difficult.

I don’t want to corrupt her though. Corrupting her innocence happens to be one of my biggest fears. Leila’s this good girl and I’m well, not so much. I lost my good qualities years ago, I guess fame did that to me.

“Haha… well I’d stay here and pussy out with you… but I actually plan on getting with the woman I like… so later. Enjoy having blue balls for the rest of the evening.” Demario patted my shoulder with a grin on his face. That asshole quickly walked over to Adrianna and Leila, breaking up their sexy little dance.

His arms immediately outstretched to grip Adrianna’s waist. He pulled her into his arms and began to slowly dance with her.

If this wasn’t motivation, I don’t know what was. I finished the last of my beer and set the glass down on an adjacent table. Just as I began to creep closer to Leila, my best fucking friend Trace grabbed her from behind and began dancing with her. My eyes narrowed when I saw my best friend grinding with the girl I wanted.

Oh, this was not about to happen. Trace was more of a dick then I was when it came to girls. He’d hurt Leila and as fucked up as it sounds, I’d rather be the one to hurt her then him. At least I cared about her. Trace was my boy and all but he didn’t give a shit if a girl was innocent or not, he’d hurt them without a second thought.

That alone was the push I needed to take what should be mine.

“What did I tell you bro?!” Demario laughed from across the room, his arms wrapped around Adrianna. She was too busy rubbing her perfect body against his to notice my anger or Demario’s amusement. My forehead wrinkled in frustration. Trace was not going to have the girl I wanted.

I walked through the crowd of dancing people, pushing off girls who thought it was absolutely necessary to grope me and throw themselves at me. Ha. None of them were her. I shoved a couple apart, I’m pretty sure they were JC and Mia but I didn’t care to look. I was only growing angrier at the sight of Trace with his hands roaming down Leila’s stomach.

“Yo… Trace… back off.”

“What?” Trace gawked at me.

“You heard me… back off. She’s with me.”

“I am?” Leila lazily giggled, cocking her head to the side cutely. She only got cuter when she was high. She wasn’t annoying and loud like most girls were, she was cute and demure. I guess I liked that the most about her.

“If you want to be that is.” I licked my bottom lip and smiled at her.

“I do.” She stepped away from Trace and closer to me. Luckily, Trace wasn’t too annoyed. He walked up to another random party girl and began dancing. All was well in the universe.

“Good.” I pulled Leila into my arms, my hands resting on the small of her back. I smiled at the thoughts of how quickly I could rip off her panties and bra. Fortunately self restraint was on my side for now.

“So let’s get something out in the open then, Justin… do you or don’t you like me?”

My hips were pressing against hers and I’m sure she could feel my raging hard on pressing against her. I grinned at her when I noticed a light pink flush in her cheeks.

“Obviously I do.” She giggled as our bodies rocked against each others to a reggaeton song. I think it was Daddy Yankee or something, I wasn’t paying enough attention to anything else to care though. Leila captured my complete attention.

“I’m glad to hear that because I really like you too.” Her hot breath was against my neck.

Leila was intoxicating all my senses. Fuck the weed and the liquor, Leila was what was inhibiting my senses. She was what made me crazy. With her, I felt things and acted a way I never thought I could. I liked feeling this way, as scary as it was.

“How much?”

“Probably more than you like me.” She sighed. I shook my head and laughed at her ignorance.

“That’s very doubtful. You’ve had me in the palm of your hand since our conversation about snack foods.” More honesty from me, if my Mother knew about this, she’d be in her glory. She always said I needed to find a nice girl to change my ways. But would I actually be ready to change? Could I change? Not to call my Momma a liar, but I wasn’t so sure.

“That’s good to know.” She turned so her ass was pressing against my dick. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This girl was most definitely going to be the death of me.

Soft, wet kisses were placed along her shoulder blade. I wanted her to feel tingles down to her toes. I wanted her panties to get so wet that she’d toss and turn all night, touching herself, wishing that I could give her that release she needed. Of course, I would do that, but not yet. I’d take it slow and then when we finally fucked, she wouldn’t know what hit her.

That moment was so close yet so far away.