“Finally a day off tomorrow.” My mother plops down beside me on the bed and laughs a little bit. “You know, I heard there’s a cute little fair about thirty miles from here. What do you think about going to that? Unless you’re too tired? Raegan said he’d love to take us.”
“Of course he’d love to.” I roll my eyes and flip the channel on the television. “Anything to get me alone with him.”
“You won’t be alone.” She swats at me playfully. “I’ll be there.”
“Until you get distracted.”
“Exactly what is wrong with Raegan? I think he’s been a perfect gentleman the whole tour, and those dinners he’s taken you to, they’re not exactly cheap. He makes the effort because he likes you, honey. I think you should give this thing a chance, don’t you?”
“No.”
She groans and flicks the TV on. “You’re impossible, just like you’re father.”
“I won’t comment on that,” I scoff, and pull my cell out of my pocket when it buzzes to life. A text message reads ‘Lobby in twenty?’ and I start to feel sick to my stomach.
I’ll be there, I type out, and shove the phone back in my pocket.
Sandra said it would do me some good to get away for a month or so, that my mother probably needed me around for support more than I even knew. She was right. I can see it in my mothers eyes, and sometimes, when she doesn’t know I’m watching, I see how sad she is. The divorce is painful for her, despite her efforts to hide her emotions from me. So I hold my head high for her, I don’t complain, I smile, and I put up with Raegan because it’s the best thing, health wise, for my mother.
The book tour has been very good to my mother. She loves meeting her readers, and she’s been selling three or four copies to nearly every person she signs for, doubling her sales from ebooks and regular bookstores. The money is rolling in, and the way Raegan tells it, this book might make the top three on the best sellers list. He’s also trying to get her a movie deal, says the book has a great story line that will draw audiences all over the country. My mother is in her glory, and I know she’ll be all right.
In the meantime, I can’t wait for this damn thing to be over.
I go to dinner with Raegan because it’s gives my mother peace of mind. As long as I go, she’s happy, doesn’t think I’ll be a single librarian for the rest of my life. The restaurants he takes me to are always posh, high class, and the food is always incredible. Our conversations consist of me sitting there while he talks about business and how he’d love to take me on a tour of Italy after this whole thing is all over. I smile and nod, but I don’t really give him an answer. I know he likes me though...really likes me, and I’m not sure why. My mother says I’m his type. I’m a nice quiet girl, and he likes that.
I think he just wants sex, personally.
“God, that’s him?” Sandra said to me last night over the phone. I texted her a picture my mother took of him and I so I could show her what he looked like. Of course I didn’t want to pose for a picture with him, but it was the only way I could get a good picture of the guy without him thinking I was a creeper. “What are you doing? Stop waiting around!”
I laughed. “I’m not all that interested, actually.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Sandra, he’s...good looking, but I’m not sold on his personality.”
“Good looking?”
Okay, so Raegan isn’t the ugliest guy in the world. In fact, he’s one of the better looking men I’ve met in my life. He can’t hold a candle to Justin of course, but I’ve done my very best to put that man out of my head for good. It’s been too long, and it’s obvious that he never meant to stay in touch with me. “He’s more than good looking.”
“Damn straight he is! Es, I want you to go on a legit date with this guy. Dinner, dancing, sex. I mean it.”r32;r32;“Sandra...”
“Look, I’m serious,” she grunted. “I’m tired of this wishy washy view you have on romance. It’s time to start seeking out that husband missy. You can’t wait around forever.”
“I just don’t want to marry the first guy that comes along, that’s all.”
“Please, honey.”r32;r32;“Look at my parents,” I whispered. “They were miserable for years. I don’t even know if they were ever really in love. I don’t want to make that same mistake. Raegan is...charming but...that’s not everything.”
“Especially if you’re holding out for someone else...”
“Sandra...”
“Well it’s true.”
I was silent for a long time. I hated it because it was true, but I didn’t want it to be. “I’m doing my best.”
“You’re best isn’t good enough. Look, I don’t want you calling me again until you’ve gone on a legit raunchy sex date with that fine ass man in the picture. You got me?”
I laughed.
“I want to hear you say it.”
“God...” I knew I had to do it, because I would never hear the end of it otherwise. “Fine, one date. That’s it, and I’m not planning on having sex with him. You’ll have to live with that.”
“If you get caught up in him you will, and believe me, you’ll thank me later.”
When I hung up with her, I really, really wanted to believe her.
Tonight will be the test. When I told him yesterday afternoon, during the meet and greet, that I wanted to have a real date with him for once, he seemed to light right up, flashed me that perfect smile of his that I’ve come to sort of...like, over the past few weeks. Still, something inside told me not to trust him. That he’d let me down just like everybody else.
“I’m meeting Raegan downstairs, mom,” I tell her as I get off the bed. “We’re going to dinner. Should we bring you anything?”
“Certainly not.” She flashes me a satisfied smile. “You two go and have a nice time. We’ll all go to the fair tomorrow, okay?”
“Yeah...fine...”
“Don’t you scare him off,” she warns me as I start walking toward the bathroom. “I really think you two would make a great couple if you would just give him a chance, dear.”
“Okay, mom.” I say it quickly, and then I shut myself in the bathroom. I can still hear her talking to me, and I run the water so I can drown out the sound of her voice. Surprisingly enough, it works, and I busy myself with fixing my hair and applying my make up. Then I stare back at myself, try to see what Raegan sees when he looks at me. I don’t get it. I don’t get why he acts like I’m worthy of so much. I don’t feel that way, not at all.
I guess because I was let down by a guy that I can’t get out of my head no matter how hard I try.
By the time I walk out of the bathroom, my mother is on the phone, oblivious to my sudden return. It sounds like she’s talking to her publishers and I smirk as I make my way to the door, knowing she’ll be too caught up in that conversation to lecture me on my etiquette with Raegan. I slip silently out the door, and ride the elevator down. I see him immediately when I step off, sitting on the plush leather sofa, staring at the fountain in the center of the lobby like he’s lost in his thoughts. I’ve never done this, just stood back and taken him all in before. He looks so peaceful, like all he has is goodness inside of him, ready to be shared, but I know different. I know he’s too caught up in himself most of the time, and that doesn’t sit well with me.
“Hey, Es.” He smiles when he sees me coming towards him, and pushes himself up from the sofa. “Ready?”
I shrug. “Sure, I guess. My mom said she wants to go to that fair tomorrow too, the one you were telling her about.”
“Oh...” He trails off, as if he forgot, but then it seems to hit him at once. “Yeah, that’s right. It’s in Wytheville.”
I stare at him. Just stare. I recognize the name of the town right away. I could never forget it.
That’s where Justin is, right now, at this very moment.
“Did you say...Wytheville?”
He laughs. “Yeah. Wytheville, Virgina. It’s off the turnpike.” He gives me a suspicious look. “Why...do you know it?”
“No, no...it just...sounds interesting.”
He rolls his eyes. “It’s Hicksville, but it’s something to do. Your mom deserves a day out for herself, and I figured it was the safest play...not too tiring, you know?”
I just swallow and nod my head.
Christ what if he’s there?r32;
No, no that couldn’t happen. It couldn’t. I can’t get that lucky.
“C’mon, that’s tomorrow’s plan.” He smiles and holds his hand out. “Tonight it’s just about us.”
I don’t take his hand. “There’s no us, Raegan. I said I’d go on a date with you, but that’s all.”
“What do I have to do to win you over, huh?” He smirks.
I shrug. “I’m not a prize. You know, we’ve been out to dinner all these times and I don’t think we’ve ever once had a conversation that wasn’t about the book business or your money.”
He stares at me, like my words have shocked him. “Well what do you want to talk about? It’s not like you ever initiate the conversation. That seems to be my job.”
“I don’t know...” I trail off and sigh. I know talking to him like this isn’t going to get me anywhere. He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand me, really. We’re both into literature, and it’s probably the only thing we have in common.
“You gotta let these barriers you have built up around yourself, crumble a little.” He steps up to me and brushes a strand of hair back behind my ear. “I’m not so bad, I swear.”
I don’t meet his gaze.
“I really like you, Es. You’re intelligent, you’re...Christ, you’re beautiful. You’re into the same business that I am, and you understand how busy I can get. We’re a good match, you just have to give me a chance here.”
Did he just call me beautiful?
“Beautiful?” I rasp.
He smiles. It’s the one I’ve grown attached to. The one that makes me melt, just a little. “Nobody’s ever told you that, huh?”
I hate to admit it, but he’s right.
Justin didn’t even tell me that, although, he might have just run out of time.
“No.” I shake my head a little, and almost look down at my feet before he pushes my head back up with his hand so I’m forced to look into his blue green eyes.
“Well I’m saying it,” he whispers. “It’s the truth, you know? You’re beautiful, Es, and if I could, I’d spend every day with you. I’m moving back to the city, did your mom tell you that? I picked up a lot of talent in Manhattan, so...we’ll be neighbors. I’ve always felt we were never able to get close because I was in LA, so...we might have a chance now.”
Great.
I’m about to tell him that he shouldn’t hope for anything. That I’m not ready to be with him or anybody else, but then his lips grab mine, and he gives me a deep, passionate kiss. One that sends my emotions spinning, causes my heart to beat furiously inside my chest, and want him more than I ever have before.
“Raegan...” I say it breathlessly when our lips finally part, and I look into his eyes. There’s a difference in them now. His gaze is soft, and caring, and I’ve never seen this side of him before. I guess, because I never gave him a chance to get this close to me, and I have no idea why I’m doing it now.
It felt good though, his lips on mine.
“I’m not going to push you, Essi,” he smiles and holds his hand out once again. “Let’s just go to dinner, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
I let him guide me away, out the door, and over to the awaiting taxi, not being able to help but think about what tomorrow will bring, even though it’s the last thing I should care about.
Christ, I’m going to Wytheville, tomorrow.
Story Tags: Be the first to add a tag to this story
