“Mama.”

I look down when I feel Layla tugging on my dress, and flash her a small smile as I run my fingers through her golden blonde curls.  “Yes, baby.”

“When is daddy comin’?”

“In just a couple of minutes.”

She presses her lips together and her brow furrows.  “Does he have to go away again?”

I try to suppress the heavy sigh that’s fighting it’s way out of me.  “I...I don’t think so baby.”

“ ‘Cause he got hurted?”

I nod, and sniffle.

God.

My little girls eyes, the ones she got from Vance, widen.  “Is he hurted bad?”

I stroke her face gently, and glance at momma who seems to understand.

“Hey dumplin,” she smiles for us as she draws closer to where we’re standing.  “How ‘bout you help your Nan hold up this sign.  That way when daddy comes he’ll be able to see it real good, okay?”

“Kay.”

She leads her away and I’m more than relieved.  All morning long it’s been the same questions, and the same answers from me.  Now, at the airport, ten minutes away from seeing Vance again, I can’t take it anymore and I don’t want to loose it in front of Layla.  It’s a promise I made to Vance, in the very beginning.  We said, that no matter what happens, Layla wasn’t to know how bad it really was.  It’s better for her.  She’s just a child and doesn’t deserve to be depressed and miserable.

That’s my job, I guess.

I couldn’t sleep last night, kept thinking about what Vance would be like when they got him off the plane.  I’m sure he’ll be in a wheelchair, or perhaps a stretcher.  They haven’t told me, but I’m sure he wouldn’t be walking with that kind of an accident.  Maybe Justin shouldn’t have told me, maybe then I would have gotten some sleep, but then again...it’s better that I’m prepared for the shock.  Yes, it’s better all around, for me, and for Layla too.  

“You gonna be okay?”

I glance back at my sister.  She’s keeping that smile on her face for me, the one that tells me it’s going to be okay.  I wish she wouldn’t because...it’s not okay.  This is all going to be very hard, very trying on Vance.  I already know.  He’s used to being the one on top, the strong one, the supporter, and now with his son on the way, I know he’s been thinking about all the things they would do together.  Not that he doesn’t love Layla, that’s his little baby girl, but I know there’s just something about having a boy that has sparked a different kind of interest in my husband.

Now, that all might get put on hold, for a very long time.  

“I’ll be fine once he’s on the ground and I can be with him,” I tell her.  “I know he needs that.”

“He does, but I guess I’m just worried he’ll be stubborn like always, and not ask for help when he needs it.”

“That’s Vance,” I scoff.  “You know that.”

“I know.”  She rubs my shoulder, and I feel her back off.  She’s gotten the hint, that now isn’t the time to highlight my husbands bad habits.

Then the door opens, and I take in a long breath as people start to file into the terminal.  A cheer erupts from our group when Justin steps through the door, his army green duffle slung over his shoulder, clad head to toe in his usual camouflage uniform.  He smiles, and to everyone else he would seem happy to be home, but I know different.

I can see it in his eyes, how much he’s had force deep down inside of him to act this way.  It’s not fair, but then again, the last thing my family needs right now is more misery.  It’s supposed to be a happy day, and the fact that only one of our boys was injured is a great thing.

I guess I just wish they were both okay.

“Hey Tay.”

I’m the first person he comes up to once the family is done hugging and kissing him.  He has lipstick marks on his forehead and cheeks, mostly likely from momma, and I have to laugh at him slightly.  “Looks like they worked you over good.”

He nods, but doesn’t say anything, just looks into my eyes.  His are pained, and empty, and I know...he’s far from okay, even if it doesn’t show physically.
“C’mere.”  He finally says, and drops his duffle so he can hold his arms out to me.

I accept the embrace, gratefully.  It feels good to be in his arms, to feel them securely around me again like so many times in my life.  “I’m glad you’re...okay,” I whimper it into his chest.  “I really am.”

He pulls back from me after a moment, and wipes a few stray tears off of my face.  “Yeah, I know you are.”  He leans down and kisses my cheek.  “They’re taking him off the plane.  Just...let him know that you’re here.”

“Oh...yeah...”

He walks off, without another word, but I know it’s for the best.  

It takes several more gut wrenching minutes before my husband finally makes his appearance.  I try not to gasp, but it’s extremely difficult.  He’s on a stretcher, being wheeled off the plane by two uniformed officers.  I go to him right away and when I reach his side, it’s only then that I realize he’s covered in bandages from head to toe.  Even his face, is covered.

Justin was right.

This is really bad.

“Taylor.”  

I hear his voice, gruff and weak.  After a moment a bandaged arm reaches up, and white fabric covered fingers wiggle themselves through mine.  I squeeze gently, and I can see his lips turn upwards slightly, as much as they can.  I look into his eyes.  They’re cloudy, sad, and pained.  “Hey...hey baby.”  I reach out and brush my hand against his bandaged face.  I even touch his nose and lips, since they’re the only parts that are fully exposed.  On his upper lip, I can see the beginnings of a horrific burn.  It’s left a trail, starting at the top part of the lip, leading underneath the layers of white bandages.

I can’t even imagine what’s happened, or what he’ll look like...

He’ll be unrecognizable once those come off.

I still love him.  Of course I still love him, but I know what this is going to do to him.  He was so proud, so handsome and now...now that’s all gone.  It’ll bring him down, but I know he can come back from it, no matter what’s...happened.

He has to come back from it, and I’ll do whatever I need to, to ensure that.

“I love you.”  I whisper it, and lean down, very gently pressing my lips to his exposed ones.  “It’ll be okay, baby.”

He doesn’t say anything and after a moment, his eyes close.  Then I’m asked to move aside, to follow them to the hospital, and I know that it’s all I can do.  My momma calls back to me, says she’ll take Layla with her so I can ‘get myself together’.

Great.

I begin to walk, very slowly, but I only get a few steps before I realize how far I’ve lagged behind all of them.  My legs feel like lead, and I know I’m having some kind of weird anxiety attack, and that’s bad...for the baby.  I have to stop, sit down, and catch my breath.  They all left me here, forgot about the pregnant girl, but then again...a lot is going on today.

“Want a lift?”

I look up, see him standing there, and rub my face harshly so the tears will disappear again.  It does no good.  I’m falling apart, pregnant and unsure about the status of my husband.  I don’t know what to do.  “I...”

“Shh.”  I feel an arm around me after a moment, and I’m sure he’s sat down next to me.  “Take your time, Taylor.”

I look up at him, and start to sob, and he quickly pulls me down so I can lean my head against his chest.

That’s what I need, a friend right now.  Not my family who’s been determined to make me forget about how bad this all really is.  Justin understands, because he’s been through something horrible too.  He knows I need to just take a breath, and collect myself before I have to face reality again.

And I’m more thankful for him than he knows.


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