Lately I’ve felt almost smothered by everything. I’ve been in so many meetings with Johnny Wright about starting a new cd and then there’s been the whole Janice thing and just being in LA can wear on you at a certain point. Getting away for a few days was the only solution besides going a bit crazy. And I tend to always opt for vacation over craziness.

The ten hour drive to British Columbia is more relaxing than I anticipated it would be. I could have very well flown up there but there was something about being alone in my car and listening to my music that completely appealed to me. And nine and a half hours later I’m not regretting driving at all.

Life’s been pretty good the past few days since breaking it off with Janice. She came and got all her stuff yesterday, which was a bit of a tense situation but she was an adult about it and that was a huge relief. When Laina and I broke up, I finally got it that you can break up with someone and still be civil with each other. I don’t want to make any enemies so having things be at an okay place with Janice is a good thing. I don’t think we’ll ever be friends like Laina and I are, but at least if I see her on the street I don’t have to duck into the nearest store and hide.

And as for things with Laina…well she hasn’t called me to tell me that she and Wes are okay but knowing her, she’s just being dramatic and things are already back to being fine with them. She probably just wants me to sweat it out, which I’m definitely doing. But soon she’ll have to give in and talk to me. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

It’s close to ten at night when I finally get to the lakeside cabin my friend, Jessica, owns out here. It’s the perfect place to get away and Jess never has a problem with letting me come out and spend a few days relaxing. It’s not the biggest house but it borders right onto this beautiful lake and it’s in a really gorgeous part of the province.

This is actually where I met Laina for the first time. Her parents own the house next door to Jessica’s and I was spending a few days out here the same time as Laina was out here by herself. The first morning I was here I had come outside and from the deck I could see this girl floating on an air mattress in the water. She hadn’t been too far away to not notice how gorgeous she was and immediately I wanted to know where she had come from and how I could get to know her. The best feeling in the world had been when she came out of the water and ended up walking right to the house next door. She had given me a quick glance but that was all I got back from my blatant staring. That night she was eating on her deck and I built up the nerve to go over there and the rest is history. Needless to say, I have some pretty good memories attached to this place.

The cabin is completely quiet when I unlock the door and I take a minute to stand in the dark solitude before taking off my shoes and moving through the house to put my bags in a bedroom. Driving all day has worn me out and I think after I grab a glass of water, I might just go right to bed.

I’ve been here enough times to know the layout of the house and I don’t bother turning on lights as I go to the kitchen. There are bottles of water in the fridge and I grab one and twist off the lid.

Jessica’s cabin and Laina’s parents’ cabin are pretty close together. And looking out of the window in the kitchen, you can see right into the bedroom of the other cabin. And when I happen to look out that window and see Laina in the other cabin, I almost choke on my mouthful of water.

What the hell is she doing out here? She never mentioned she was coming to the cabin. Not that I’ve talked to her in a few days but still. What are the chances that we’re both out here at the same time?

I wonder if she’s here alone or with Wes. I can’t see him in the bedroom but I don’t have a great view or anything.

Scratch that, I have an EXCELLENT view. Laina just took off her shirt, leaving her in a red bra and her jeans. Despite the fact that I just swallowed some water, my mouth goes dry as I stare at her move around her room. This is so not helping matters. I should not be watching her.

Of course I’m going to watch her. She looks hot. Laina’s got a great body. She’s in shape but she’s got definite curves and her current outfit is only accentuating them.

I watch as reaches an arm around her to scratch her back and then pull the elastic from her hair and let it fall down her back. This is doing nothing to help me get over this returning infatuation that’s been slightly developing for her over the past few days.

It takes major willpower but I manage to force myself to reach over and shut the blinds, blocking that lovely view. For all I know, Wes is there with her and the last thing I need to see is them together. That would probably scar me.

I was previously tired but now that my vacation has been taken in a different direction than I thought, I’m completely awake and the thought of trying to sleep seems implausible. I have an intense urge to go over to the cabin next door and see if Laina is indeed there alone and wants to hang out but I resist. That’s probably not the best idea to bug her now considering she looked like she was getting ready for bed.

I opt instead to try and distract myself by watching some TV. Not that my mind didn’t spend the entire time returning to the vision of Laina standing there in her bra and pants. I have a feeling my dreams are going to be good tonight.

* * *

Relaxation is laying on an air mattress in the middle of the lake with the sun beating down on your back. If I didn’t have to worry about money, I would quit my job and spend all my time out here. Times like now are when I wish I had money to burn but until that day happens, I’m going to have to be content to just live vicariously through my parents’ assets on the weekends I can escape LA.

I woke up early this morning and when I stepped out the front door, I was met with Justin’s car sitting in the driveway of the house next door, which was a complete surprise. It wasn’t there when I got here yesterday afternoon and I had no idea he was planning on coming out here. Not that I’ve been watching, but there’s been no movement from the cabin next door and I’m beginning to question if he’s died in there. More than likely though, he’s avoiding me because he thinks I’m still pissed at him, which I’m basically over at this point.

My sunglasses slide down my nose a bit but making a move to push them back up seems like way too much effort so I just let them be. I probably should go back to the deck and put on more sunscreen but moving right now seems like an unreasonable idea. If I burn, then I burn. That seems like a small price to pay to continue to lay on my stomach here.

I bob up and down a couple times when the waves from a passing motorboat disturb the stillness of my air mattress and that action wakes me up enough to be more aware of the noises around me. Specifically the sound of someone swimming near me. I crack open my eyes and they connect with Justin coming towards me. I make no effort to lift my head from where it’s resting on my arms but keep my eyes on him as he nears me.

“Are you approachable yet?” he asks once we’re in earshot of one another.

I lift one arm to push my sunglasses on top of my head and then drop my arm into the water. “Yeah.”

He comes to the front of the raft where my head is and rests his arms on the very edge. “What are you doing out here? I didn’t know you were coming out.”

“Last minute decision. I have Monday off work so I thought I’d spend the weekend here. What are you doing here?”

He shrugs. “I needed a break from the city.” He glances behind his shoulder at my cabin. “Are you here alone or…?”

“Mm hmm. No one else could come with me.”

“What about Wes?” he asks with some hesitation evident in his voice.

I bump my sunglasses and let them slide down over my eyes and let out a sigh. “Taking time off for Wes seems to not be an option.”

I guess he easily read into my tone because he doesn’t let the subject drop. “Are things okay with you and him?”

I roll my eyes behind my sunglasses. “We’re having problems.”

“What kind of problems?”

I stare at him for a moment before answering. He actually looks concerned about the well being of Wes and my relationship, which after the drunk phone call I received from him, isn’t a look I would expect. “Just the same stuff as usual. He won’t ever leave the office and can’t get it through his head why that would bother me.”

“Is, uh, is he still upset about that whole, uh, phone call thing?”

Justin looks completely embarrassed even asking that question. “He’ll be fine.”

“So he’s a workaholic. Hasn’t he always been?”

“Yeah.” I sigh. “It’s just worse now. Or maybe it just bothers me more now.”

“You don’t sound happy at all.”

I shrug, trying to play it off. I didn’t exactly come out here to sit and dwell on Wes and I.

Justin reaches forward and suddenly my sunglasses are back on top of my head and I’m not longer hiding behind them. “Lainey, if you’re this unhappy, why are you sticking around?”

I shrug again, putting off responding. I probably shouldn’t be having this conversation with my exboyfriend. Especially since there seems to be some unresolved feelings between us.

“Maybe I’m wrong I was under the impression that things were never super serious between you and him. So if you aren’t having fun anymore, why not just ditch him?”

A week ago, I would have taken his advice as gold. But now things are different. After that phone call I don’t know how to take what he says. I realize that he was drunk but that doesn’t mean what he was saying wasn’t truth. If he’s as in love with me as he says he is, he may not have my best interests at heart right now.

“It’s a little more complicated than that.”

“How?” he immediately questions. “Are you engaged? Pregnant? Do you owe him something?”

I swear he’s trying to be a jerk. I push his arms off the edge of my raft and point my sunglasses at him. “Things aren’t the same between Wes and I as they were between you and Janice. I can’t just dump him at some cliché coffee shop.”

He looks offended and I’m not sure if it’s because I just brought up Janice or because I dissed his favorite coffee shop. “How do you know anything about how I broke up with Janice?”

“Trace and I discussed it.”

“You discussed it,” he repeats.

“We went for dinner and we discussed it,” I reply. “Did you really think we wouldn’t?”

He shrugs and replaces his arms on my raft. “I guess you guys are the biggest gossip queens that I know so I should have expected it.”

If he expects that calling me a gossip queen would offend me, it doesn’t because I know it’s true. I love good gossip. “Either way, I’d like to try and work things out with Wes before I just ‘ditch him’.”

“It’s only your time you’re wasting,” he responds and I immediately splash some water in his face.

“You’re being an ass.”

He simply smiles at me. “Just speaking my mind.”

“Ass.”

He rolls his eyes and flicks some water back at me. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Why?” I immediately ask. With Justin, it’s usually necessary to get all the information before agreeing to anything.

“Because we’re both just out here alone and there’s no point of us both just sitting alone in our respective cabins.”

“What exactly are you proposing?”

“You come over and I’ll make you a nice gourmet dinner. Then we can get completely plastered.”

Even though getting drunk with him may not be the smartest thing to do, it beats sitting around alone all night watching a movie, which were my previous plans. “Promise not to take advantage of me?”

He holds out his hand, pinky extended. “Pinky swear.”

I smile and latch my pinky onto his and give it a firm shake. “Then it’s a date. I’ll be over there at six.”

“Perfect.”

I push his arms off my air mattress again. “Now go away and let me tan in peace.”

“I was going to take out Jess’ boat. You want to come?”

“No. Go away.”

He laughs and gives my raft a push, sending me in a slow circle. “Six tonight. Don’t be late.”

“Uh huh,” I reply like it’s not completely calling the kettle black for him to tell me not to be late when he’s in a perpetual state of being late.

I close my eyes again and hear the sound of him swimming away. It takes an actual effort but I force our conversation about Wes out of my mind. Maybe Justin doesn’t have the purest intentions, but what he said does make sense. But this is my mini vacation and I told myself coming out here that I wasn’t going to sit around and obsess about my relationship with Wes. Instead I’m going to lay out here until I burn and then go get drunk with Justin.

That can only end well, right?