Justin finished with the dishes. Drying his hands, he walked over to the large picture window. The only thing the apartment had going for it was a nice view of the park. It had been raining all evening. When he couldn't sleep he would sit by the window and just watch what was going on. Now as he looked out people were running with their umbrellas up. He remembered Jc always liked staying in bed on raining days. It was the only time he made it difficult for him getting out of bed. He frowned at the memory. He missed him so much.
Before he turned away from the window, Justin noticed someone sitting on a bench. Looking harder, his heart skipped a beat.
"Josh," he whispered.
Quickly getting his coat and keys, Justin ran down the stairs. He headed out of the door and into the pouring rain. Justin bit his bottom lip as he slowly approached the bench.
"Josh?"
Jc looked up and was surprised to see Justin standing there, but yet he was almost relieved. Justin had found him.
"How did you know I was here?"
"I saw you from my window," Justin replied pointing up to where he had been standing.
"You live there? Aren't you a big singer?"
Justin shrugged his shoulders. "I lived there before I made it big. Why are you sitting in the cold rain? You're going to get sick."
This time Jc was the one who shrugged his shoulders. He shivered slightly, but he had grown used to the rain and snow. Justin could see that Jc was trying to hide his tears in the rain.
"Josh is everything ok?"
Josh shook his head and held it down. He tried his best to stop the tears but they just wouldn't stop.
"How about we get out of the rain. I can make some coffee." Justin said holding his hand out.
"I... I can't. Casey is probably looking for me," Jc said standing up, but then he remember why he left Casey's apartment. He turned and faced Justin. "Ok."
Justin smiled and lead the way back to the apartment. When Justin opened the door, the warm air hit Josh's face. He almost felt like he was home.
"I can get you warm clothes," Justin said disappearing into the bedroom. He didn't wait for Jc to object because he knew he would have.
Jc slowly took his coat off and laid it on one of the chairs. He looked around the small apartment. There wasn't much there. Just a couch, a small table, two chairs, and a small tv. Something felt comfortable about this place. Justin came back and walked over to him and handed him the clothes.
"There's a bathroom right in there. Go change and I'll get the coffee going."
Jc nodded and headed for the bathroom. He closed the door and started peeling off his wet clothes. He hung them on the shower curtain and stood there watching the little beads of water begin dripping from the clothes, landing in the tub.
Taking a deep breath and focusing his attention back on getting dressed, he pulled the track pants on and a long sleeved T-shirt. Once he was dressed, he looked into the mirror. He wished he could remember something, anything about his life before. Looking down he noticed two toothbrushes next to the sink. Did Justin live here with someone? Running his fingers through his wet hair he made his way out to the living room.
It made him wonder if Justin was actually telling him the truth or if he had already moved on from him. When Jc walked out of the bathroom, he saw Justin was busy in the kitchen making coffee.
"Thanks for the dry clothes," Josh whispered.
Justin looked up and smiled. "It's no problem."
"Do you live here alone?"
Justin looked surprised by his question as he looked up at Jc. "Yes. It's just me."
"You have two toothbrushes. You must have clean teeth."
Justin chuckled softly and smiled at Jc. "One is yours. I never moved it...just in case."
"Hmm.. I really should go," Josh said nervously.
"No wait, please stay. If you want, after the cup of coffee I can go and drop you off at Casey's."
"I don't know what to do..." Josh whispered looking down to the floor.
"About what Josh?" Justin asked stepping closer. He could see Jc slightly shaking.
"Casey told me that he loves me."
Justin swallowed and stepping closer. "Do you love him?"
Josh shook his head no quickly.
Justin had a feeling something else had happened so he pressed on.
"What else happened?"
"Noth...nothing," Jc stammered, feeling the lump in his throat rise.
"You can tell me Josh. You can tell me anything."
Jc fought back the tears again. "He kissed me and I didn't want him to."
"Is that why you left?"
"Yes," Jc said wiping his nose on the back of his hand. "For some odd reason whenever I walk around I find myself at that bench sitting there looking around. It's so weird to me. When I sit there I feel so close to something. I just can't place it. You probably think I'm crazy."
Justin couldn't believe Jc had been so close to him so many times. Many times had they crossed paths and never realized it. For the past year Jc had been so close to home and close to him.
"I'm lost Justin. I don't want to be lost anymore."
Slowly Justin wrapped his arms around Josh's shoulders. He felt Jc lean into him then wrap his arms around his waist. Justin savored this moment, being so close, and in Jc's arms again.
"I want to help you so you're not lost anymore. I can help you remember who you were because I knew you better than anybody. Will you let me help you?"
"I don't know Justin. Casey wants me to forget about my past."
"But you don't."
"No."
Justin pulled Jc back and smiled slightly. "How about coffee?"
"Yea sounds good," Jc said trying to smile.
Moving away from Jc, Justin headed into the kitchen and poured two cups of coffee. After putting cream and sugar in each he made his way to the table.
"Sit Josh."
Jc hesitated but made his way to the chair. He took a small drink and relaxed slightly as he felt a little warmer.
He looked out the big window at the rain. It wouldn't be long before the rain would be snow falling. "I'm not looking forward to snow," Jc whispered.
"I like the snow. It's one of the best seasons."
"Too cold to walk."
"You've never liked the cold. I use to beg you to go with me to do something outside in the winter."
"Did I ever give in?"
"All the time," Justin said wiggling his eyebrows, making Jc laugh.
"But then we would always come home. You would always be frozen to death and we would get coffee and sit on the couch under blankets to warm up."
Jc nodded his head and took another small drink.
"Tell me something that I use to do. Where did I use to work?"
"You worked for a photography company. You had been working your way up from being an assistant to having a small studio of your own and then you worked at a restaurant. The photography company didn't pay well so you had to get the second job."
"I worked a lot."
"Yes. You supported us mostly. My little job as a bus boy helped paid my way through school. I always wished I could have done more for us in the beginning."
"But then you made it big."
"All because you believed in me, Josh. I couldn't have done any of it without you."
"I'm sorry I don't remember."
"It's not your fault." Justin stopped and looked at Jc. " Do you remember anything from what happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Jc said quickly looking away.
"Alright, I'm sorry."
They sat in silence drinking their coffee. Justin couldn't help but stare at Jc. He looked so much weaker. He lost a lot of weight. And he had lost the light in his eyes.
"Do I look that different?" He asked, catching Justin looking at him.
"Sorry," Justin mumbled. "You just look like you've lost a lot of weight."
"Did I use to be fat or something?" He exclaimed making them both laugh.
"No, never. You've always been very skinny, just..."
"Not this skinny."
"Right."
"What else do you notice different about me."
"That you...." He paused for a second, meeting Jc's gaze then slowly moved a short curl away from his eye. "You look more sad."
"I am sad. It hurts every day not knowing who you are," Jc said his eyes moving back back to the coffee cup.
Justin looked down at Jc's hand and placed his over it.
"I have an idea, come on," he said getting up with a huge smile.
Walking into the living room Justin looked through a small pile of DVDs. He pulled one out and put it in the DVD player.
"Come on Josh."
"What are we going to watch?"
Justin grinned. "Ferris buellers day off."
Flopping down on the couch he patted the seat next to him and looked up at Jc. He could see that he was hesitating.
"I don't bite. Its just a movie."
"Are you sure about that?" Jc asked with a smile.
"Well maybe a little, but never very hard."
Jc smiled and sat down next to him. He felt like he had probably watched this movie a dozen times before but yet he still couldn't remember it. Justin pushed play and they sat there and started watching the movie. As soon as the movie started Jc remembered it.


Jc walked into his apartment from working a long day. Putting his bag on the table he saw the movie that was playing on tv Ferris Buerres Day Off.

"Again." He asked.

He saw a figure on the couch but it was blurry. He couldn't make out who it was. He knew his question was being answered but it was muffled.


"So is this one of my favorite movies?"
"Actually one of mine, but you always made fun of me for loving it. But you use to watch it with me all the time."
Jc shook his head, figuring the blurry, muffled figure in his memory was Justin. He just wished he could really have seen it was Justin, instead of a blur.
It didn't take long before Jc was yawning and when Justin looked over at him, he was fast asleep. He had to laugh quietly because that was exactly what he use to do all the time during this movie.
He quietly got up and turned off the tv. Grabbing a blanket, Justin covered Jc and turned out the lamp next to the couch. Darkness and silence washed over the room and he could hear the steady soft breathing Jc was making. He stood there for a minute just listening to him, letting the realization that Jc was sleeping on their couch again sink in.
Justin walked over to him, and bending down, he softly kissed Jc's cheek. "I love you baby," he whispered before placing another kiss on his forehead.
Jc didn't stir as Justin knew he wouldn't. Walking into his room, he crawled into bed and let his mind go blank before falling asleep.