Jc head felt like his head was going to explode. His dreams had become millions of flashbacks. Just as sudden as the good memories started, the attacked came full force into his mind. They were beating him relentlessly. His stomach hurt, his head hurt, he could taste the blood in his mouth. Before he could stop it his mouth opened and he screamed. 
He screamed and then screamed louder, hardly taking a breath in between. But he couldn't get out of his dreams. He was feeling every blow thrown at him like it was happening all over again. 
Wake up, wake up, wake up.
Justin shot up out of bed as soon as Jc screamed the first time. His heart beat hard against his chest as he ran out of his bedroom and into Jc's. Even in the dark he could see his body tossing around on his bed and the screams that were coming out of him were enough to make the hair on the back of Justin's neck stand straight up. Rushing over to the bed he placed his hands on Jc's cheeks. 
"Josh." 
"Please stop." The words came out as a scream. 
"Josh, it's Justin." 
In his dream, Jc heard a soft voice, a comforting voice.  
"Come on baby, wake up." Justin put his hands on his arms and lightly shook him, trying to get him to wake up. 
It was then he noticed Jc's cheeks were wet with his tears and it broke his heart.
"Please...please let me go. Help me, help me," Jc sobbed.
It then hit Justin that he was dreaming about the attack. Cursing, he shook him a little harder.
"Josh your home, please baby. No one is going to hurt you. Wake up."
Jc eyes shot open and he stated at Justin in the dark. Justin could feel Jc's body trembling. Reaching up, he brushed Jc's tears away. 
"You're safe baby."
"I'm sorry," Jc said turning to his side. He buried his head into the pillow. 
"Josh," Justin said concerned. 
"I'm ok."
Justin knew better. He could see Jc was shutting down. 
"I'm ok," Jc repeated, closing his eyes tight. 
"You want me to leave?"
Jc nodded slowly. 
"Ok."
Getting off the bed Justin left Jc's room and went back to his. Laying in bed, he could hear Jc softly sobbing and it was killing him. He wanted to hold him, to tell him that it was going to be alright. But Jc had shut down and pushed him away. He wondered how many times he now had the nightmare of his attack. How many times had he woke up screaming. 
Then he wondered if Casey ever held him or whispered to him that it was going to be ok. Justin shook his thoughts away and tried to go back to sleep. 
Just before he drifted off to sleep Justin heard the door click shut, then felt the bed dip next to him. Opening his eyes he could make out Jc's back. Taking a deep breath he moved over to Jc and brought his arm around his chest. Jc relaxed instantly. 
"Hi," Justin whispered. 
"Hi." 
Justin could tell from the crack in his voice that he was still crying. 
"You're ok Josh. Go back to sleep baby. You're safe," Justin said kissing the back of his neck. 
"Scared." 
"I won't let anyone hurt you."
"Even in my dreams." 
"I'll hold you for the rest of the night.If you feel scared just remember that I'm here." 
"Promise."
"I promise." 
Justin laid his head on the pillow Jc had his head on and pulled the blankets a little higher over them. Once he was comfortable, he softly started singing. 
Jc closed his eyes and let Justin's singing begin to relax him. 

"Sing Justin,"  Jc said snuggling closer. 
"Why do you always ask me to sing when I'm so close to sleeping," he asked through his heavy eyelids.
"Because you always fall asleep before me and I need help going to sleep."
"You need to not think so much before going to sleep."
"I can't help it. Bills are due tomorrow. My mind won't shut down."
"I know," Justin said with a sigh. 
"But we'll be alright," Jc said with a smile.
"And then you always say that," Justin said shaking his head. 
"We have each other Justin. If we end up on the streets it won't matter as long as we stick together."
"We will always be together. There's nothing that can break us up."
"Hmm, I love you Justin."
"I love you to baby, always." 
Justin closed his eyes and started softly singing. 

The next time Justin stretched, the sun was peaking through the curtains. A smiled creeped up on his face remembering that  it was Christmas and he was going to spend it with the love of his life. 
"Merry christmas baby," he whispered rolling over to hug Jc. 
But all he got was cold sheets. Panic shot through his body. Sitting straight up he looked around the room. Jc wasn't there. Oh my god, where was he? Jumping up, Justin run into the living room. 
"Josh."
"In the kitchen." 
Justin walked quickly into the kitchen. His heart slowed a little bit seeing Jc standing by the counter cutting up some fruit. 
"Josh what are you doing?" 
"Making you breakfast. I hope that's ok. We didn't really eat much yesterday so when I woke up and saw that you were still sleeping, I thought I would surprise you," Jc said turning around to place the bowl of fruit on the tray. 
Justin looked at the table and saw the tray with two plates and two cups of coffee and now the fruit. He was going to bring it to him. Justin felt his heart melt to the floor. God, he loved this man. 
"I was going to bring it to you but you beat me to it," Jc said starting to take the plates off. 
"No Josh, wait."
"What?"
"Let's go eat in bed."
"Are you sure?" Jc said looking down.
"Yea I'm sure," Justin replied picking the tray up. "Come on, baby."
They walked back into the bedroom. Justin set the tray down and turned back to Jc. 
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"Making breakfast, but I have to tell you, you scared the shit out of me when I woke up alone."
"I'm sorry. I didn't think.." Jc said almost tearing up. 
"Josh baby, no I'm not mad," Justin said quickly putting his hand on his cheek. 
Jc took a steadying breath and nodded. "Merry Christmas Justin."
"Merry Christmas Josh," Justin said moving closer and gently kissing him. 
Pulling away Justin looked over at the plates. "Let's eat before it gets cold."
"Ok." 
Sitting down they started eating in comfortable silence, enjoying the breakfast Jc had made. After they were finished Justin placed all the plates on the tray then sat the tray on the floor. He watched Jc play with the hem on the sheet. 
"What you thinking about Josh?" 
"Nothing," Jc mumbled keeping his head down. 
"Stay here, I have something to show you," Justin said getting up and going out to the living room. 
A minute later he came back with a large book.
"What's that?"
"Get comfy and I'll show you," Justin said with a large smile. 
Justin sat back down on the bed and crawled under the covers. "You don't look comfy."
"Ok I'm getting comfy," Jc moving under the covers and sitting next to Justin. 
Once Justin was satisfied, he opened the book. 
"Is....is that me."Jc asked. 
"Yes our first pic together."
"How long ago?" He looked so different. Not so skinny and happy.
"Hmmm...." Justin said thinking. "We just hit five years in November." 
"That's a long time. You include this past year even though we were apart." 
"It is," Justin replied turning the page. "And of course I do. Even thought we were apart, I belonged to you. I wasn't going to let you go that fast."
"Who is that?" Jc asked pointing to picture of an man and woman.
"Those are your parents." 
"My parents." 

"Mom, Dad, can I talk to you minute," Jc asked, walking into the living room. 
"Of course sweetheart, what's on your mind?" Karen asked.
Jc took a deep breath and sat on the couch. He felt like he was about to drop a bomb on his parents and there was no easy way to tell them.
"Josh, what is it? You look worried," Roy said sitting next to him.
"I met someone."
"That's great," Karen said with a smile. "Tell us about her."
Again, Jc took a deep breath. He looked down at the floor then back up at his parents, trying to steady his heart from beating so fast.
"His name is Justin. I'm sorry I never told you before, but I'm gay. I've know for a long time."
Karen and Roy looked at each other with out saying anything, then back at Jc. Karen placed her hand on his cheek and smiled at him with reassurance.
"We love you Joshua, and no matter who you love. Nothing will ever change our love and support for you. If you met someone you like and want to spend your time with, then we are happy for you."

"They said that they loved me even though I was gay." 
"Yes, they have been very supportive," Justin agreed.
"They like you?" 
Justin laughed a little. "Oh yes, they love me," he said wiggling his eyebrows.
"Are you teasing me?" Jc said giving him a look.
"Maybe a little." 
"Have they been worried about me?" 
"Very. We have been in constant contact since we learned you were missing." 
"So they have been looking for me too?" 
"Yes. A lot of people have missed you Josh."
"I never meant to worry people." 
"This wasn't your fault Jc, you know that, right?"
Jc nodded his head and looked down back at the pictures. "That's the lady you were with when we saw each other at the tree place." 
"Yes that's my mom and my step dad."
"You look a lot like her." 
"Everyone says that. I don't see it," Justin said looking at the picture. 
"You are full of it," Jc said nudging him in the arm. 
Justin laughed and turned the page. They went through a few more pages of pictures where Justin told Jc stories about every single one of them. Jc even had a few more flashbacks.  
"What are our families doing today?" Jc asked, staring at a picture of himself with Justin and both of their families together.
"Celebrating Christmas." 
"Do they wonder what we are doing?"
"Probably, but they know we need time together."
"Ok," Jc said turning back to the photo album. 
"Don't worry baby, we will see them soon." 
Jc simply nodded his head. They finished the photo album. 
"That helped a little, thank you," Jc said quietly. 
"Do you remember anything?"
"I just get snippets of random things. I'm really trying not to get frustrated  with it."
"We are moving too fast. Baby, I don't want you to get frustrated."
"No, we're not going too fast. Thank you for all that you have done for me Justin. I really can't thank you enough. Without you coming back into my life, I wouldn't have been able to remember everything that I have so far, and..." Jc stopped talking and felt a blush creep up on his face. "And from my memories and from our time together these last couple of days, I know how easy it was to fall in love with you."
Justin couldn't help but smile at him. "I don't want to ever lose you again. Just tell me if this is all going too fast for you and we will slow down."
He shook his head. "I don't want to slow down. But I wouldn't mind taking a nap for a little while. Will you lay with me?"
"A nap sounds great."
Justin laid down next to Jc and pulled the covers up around them. He was surprised when Jc curled his body into his and laid his head on Justin's chest. Justin put his arm around him and softly rubbed his back.
"Your heart is beating hard again," Jc whispered with a smile.
"Hate to tell you this, but when it comes to you, that's how my heart always is."
"I don't mind it at all."
Justin kissed the top of his head and pulled Jc closer to him. He couldn't believe after a year of heart ache and searching, the man he loved more than anything in this world was wrapped in his arms again. They could stay like this forever and he wouldn't complain.
Feeling Jc relax even more, he knew he was about asleep. When his breathing evened out, Justin knew he was going to be out for a while. Closing his own eyes, Justin fell asleep too.