He's beautiful, it's almost Christmas. He's going to be 6 months old 4 days after that and Oshai is going to fly us to Chicago, time for the holiday which means time for family. My entire family know about PJ, but I haven't had the heart or gumption to tell Ickers, but when I told Cloutman-he ran!

Angel knows, but I doubt she's even told Aaron. I've sworn her to secrecy, the only catch being her dad and he's brought Lisa and the youngest Carter kids down to see me sin Jacksonville. His dad comment here and ther about how PJ reminds him of when his 2 older boys were this small, not meaning to make me feel guilty and yet I still do.

I just put PJ down for a nap in his crib, pulling the door shut and turning on the portable baby monitor. I begin cleaning up from the morning's craziness when my house phone rings in its charger, the screen telling me it's Oshai on the other line and I answer it. "Hey, you," I greet him warmly.

"Please don't bite my head off, someone wants to talk to you and Kor said to do it!" he rapidly rattles off to me and he sounds scared.

"What?"

"Here," he says, his phone changing hands.

Someone takes a deep breath, my brow shooting up in nothing more than pure curiosity. "How have you been?" his smooth voice greets me sounding anxious and worried.

"Good. You?" Why bother letting petty shit get to me when he just wants to catch up? It's a pointless and fruitless waste of energy and time.

"Confused," he admits in Irish, laughing right after.

"Aren't you always?" I tease.

"Not always, just most of the time."

I know Oshai means well and it is almost Christmas, so I decide to let it slide. "Only when I'm not beside you to make sense of it."

"Pretty much. What are your plans for the holiday?"

"Chicago. What about you?"

"Spending it with 'Lyna and her family."

"Johnny boy okayed it?" I ask, shocked.

"Yeah, JC talked to him and I guess he's letting me crash here for the next few days, too."

"She's so spoiled!" I comment.

"Of course, Jazzabee," he laughs.

"Don't, please," I softly beg.

"Sorry, I'm just so used to calling you that."

"Maybe we can get together for NEw YEar's at your place in Tampa or something," I offer.

"As friends, of course."

"Yeah, I guess." I kick myself in the ass for even suggesting that.

"Well, I'm going to let you go, 'Lyna wants to get some holiday shopping done."

"Email me, it's set up so that I get it on my cell."

"You mean the J1983Chasez one?" he verifies.

"Yes."

"Will do. Talk to you soon. Here's your brother."

The phone changes hands, words are whispered and I hear him leave. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, considering it's nearly Christmas," I say, entirely

blasé about it.