1
Settling in Los Angeles permanently after college wasn’t easy, but really, what’s easy about packing up and leaving everything behind to start an exciting new life? Nothing, I’ll tell you that much. My name is Lauren Taylor and I am an official blip on the LA radar as of a few weeks ago. A little meaningless nothing, really. Vapor. Back in Illinois, I didn’t feel half as invisible. Despite living near one of the biggest cities in America, I had a sense of home there, and I knew everybody that lived with in a five mile radius of my parents house. On the weekends, my friends and I would usually drive the hour to Chicago, spend our time shopping and laughing about stupid things that don’t matter in the real world.
High school flew by. In the blink of an eye I went from timid freshman, to socializing senior with college applications to fill out. I knew I wanted to go into marketing, and so I applied at all different schools across the country. My parents were fine with it, even though they were secretly hoping that I’d stay in state. I think from the beginning, I knew I wouldn’t be. I needed to live, to get out there and figure out who I really was. So when I was accepted at West Los Angles College, I didn’t hesitate. It was hard of course. My mom cried and all that before they left me at the dorms that hot August day. I have to admit though, when they finally walked out, I was extremely excited.
It was freedom, excitement, in the heart of Los Angeles.
I enjoyed college. I did. I probably partied a little too much, but I guess that was part of the experience. My favorite part about the area, was being able to see almost any concert that was on tour. The Staples Center was a god send...
Especially when it came to Justin Timberlake and his solo thrusts...
Growing up, I turned into somewhat of a boy band junkie. *NSYNC was my band of choice, and naturally, since I can’t resist pretty boys, Justin Timberlake covered nearly all of my walls. For my sweet sixteen, my parents surprised me with a pair of front row tickets to the Pop Odyssey tour, and I took my best friend, Claire. I can still remember the magic of that night, the feeling inside of me when the guy at the door ripped our tickets and we stepped through the door to the venue, knowing where I would be sitting. My heart raced as we bought some t-shirts and decided to go to our seats, and it nearly stopped when one of the ushers escorted us down to the very front row.
It’s embarrassing to admit, but we squealed like two little girls when we finally sat down, and I remember...looking over to the side at one point, only to see a flash of blue staring out at us before slinking back behind an inky black curtain.
To this day, I’m sure it was him, and I wish so bad that I could have...I dunno...jumped on the stage and ran over to him so I could proclaim my undying love.
You see, we were supposed to get married, him and I.
Actually, the teenager that lives inside of me is convinced that we still will...one day.
I don’t share my psychotic fantasy with anybody here. My roommates would think I was a fucking nutcase. Sure, they know about my little obsession with JT, because I still have a couple of pics that I took last time I saw him in concert, tacked above my bed. They call it my ‘Trousersnake fantasy’, and I assure them that nobody calls him that anymore.
It’s really sad, but I miss him. I miss him because he doesn’t make music anymore and all I really want is to be able to see him play again, because when he plays and sings and dances...it makes me forget about the stresses that come with working, paying rent, and sharing a one bathroom apartment with four other women.
It’s hell. I can’t wait until I have enough to get a place of my own.
“Seriously? It’s December first.”
I wrap the blanket tighter around my shoulders, glance at her slightly, but don’t say a word. I just turn the volume up on the laptop, and sip my cocoa as I continue to read an article my boss sent me to look over for tomorrow.
I’ll show you how good it could be...
I wish that Santa could be here to see...
It’s beautiful under my tree...
“Lauren.”
I look up again. Stephanie is standing there, hands on her hips, rolling her eyes and tapping her foot impatiently. “Yes?”
“I can’t take this...listening to that stuff. Can’t you put on headphones or something?”
I shrug. “Headphones are broken. Maybe you can just go in the other room.”
She throws her hands up. “When the hell are you going to grow up? NSYNC was so like...twenty five years ago. You need to get a life...or something.”
“Sorry.”
“Well are you going to turn it down?”
“Nope.” I grin at her, and turn the volume up even higher.
She screams. She actually screams, and puts her hands over her ears as she storms away.
Where the hell was my brain when I decided to move in with these people? Oh yeah, we were closer once upon a time, before they got all refined and shit, started to leech off their rich men to survive. Out of all of us, I’m the only one that has an actual job, and is focusing on a career. They hate that. The want the party girl back that I used to be...
But I guess I grew up after all.
With a sigh, I decide to retreat into my bedroom. The other girls will be home shortly, and I don’t need to listen to their BS about me and my supposed ‘pitiful’ existence. I snap the laptop closed, gather up the blanket and my phone and barricade myself in the bedroom. Once in bed, I open the laptop again, and turn the Home For Christmas album back on. It’s a ritual. Right after Thanksgiving, every year, sometimes even before, I start listening non stop. It reminds me more of home, of the people there that I’ll always consider my best friends, and it gets me to smile.
My eyes close, and I drift off to sleep as Justin begins his sultry solo.
Slow dance together, two become one, thats what we’ve waited all day for...
Story Tags: Be the first to add a tag to this story
