It took all of thirty seconds for me to realize that my fiancé had walked out of my grandmothers kitchen, and out of the house. Even then, I didn’t think she’d go far.
But she’s not on the front porch, or in the back.
She’s just gone.
I shouldn’t have vented to my grandmother, because I know it was her that made Lauren so upset. It’s no secret that I’m her favorite, and the knowledge that the girl I loved was making me miserable, didn’t sit right with her. I don’t know exactly what was said, but the way my cousin Rachael was glaring at me told me it was enough to push Lauren out. I hate myself for that, for making Lauren look like the bad guy when the reality is, I was just too damn stubborn to let her come around and talk to me like I know she needed to before we came here.
I don’t want her to leave me, but at this point, I wouldn’t blame her because I acted like a fucking idiot. My momma agreed with me wholeheartedly when I told her. Said that I might have made the biggest mistake of my life.
And I know I did.
I’m trying to find her, so I can tell her that. So I can try to make this all up to her, somehow. I walked around the entire neighborhood, but she was nowhere to be found, so I jumped in the car and drove around town. I saw all the places I usually love to visit when I’m down here, but none of them could give me that usual spark of happiness. Lauren was the only thing that mattered to me, and she wasn’t there, so I moved on. I drove to the park, another old stomping ground from my childhood, and decided to take a walk around, just to see if she might be there.
I start to lose hope as I sweep the park, because I don’t see her anywhere. It’s only when I reach the playground that I spot somebody sitting on one of the benches there. I creep closer, trying to make sure it’s her before I say anything. The last thing I want to do is scare somebody, or possibly get pummeled by a fan or a psycho.
“Hey.” I finally say it, stand back and hold my breath. Then she turns her head, and I feel my insides unclench themselves. “Laur...God, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
She stands up, sighs, and crosses her arms. “Maybe I should make you keep looking.”
“Look...what I said...I didn’t mean what I said, okay?”
She just stares at me, and I know I have to do better than that.
“I should have given you the space you needed,” I tell her. “I know that now. I was just overwhelmed with everything going on at once and I guess...I guess I didn’t realize that something was going on with you.”
She sits back down after a moment. “You may have been right, though. Maybe I’m really not the right person for you.”
I quickly sit down beside her, and take take her hand, lacing my fingers through hers before she can stop me. “That’s not true. I’m in love with you...you know? You’re the only person that’s ever made me feel this way.”
She smiles slightly, but it fades away. She doesn’t let go of my hand though, and I take it as a good sign. “It’s crazy but I feel like I just met you...literally. Maybe it’s just the wedding. Maybe I’ve been so overwhelmed and tired to the point where I just lost it this morning and afternoon. I’m sorry I scared you, Justin. I’m sorry that I made you feel so crappy. I...I’m a little scared but I know that I don’t want to lose you...” she trails off and looks down at our intertwined hands. “I can’t lose you.”
“Hey...” I reach out and push her chin up with my free hand, so she’ll meet my gaze. “You’re not going to lose me. I’m not going anywhere.”
“But aren’t you freaked out about how I wouldn’t let you near me?”
I shrug slightly, and a soft laugh escapes me. “I know you had your reasons, Lauren. Sometimes, I need a wake up call, and today was it. I swear, next time you’re not in the mood, I’ll back off and I won’t hold it against you. I promise.”
“Well I...I don’t want you to back off all the time, Justin.” She smiles at me this time, genuinely.
“What happened to J?” I smile too and rub my thumb across her cheek, wiping the tears away from her eyes.
Her cheeks turn red. “J.”
“I love you.” I pull her closer to me and put my face right in front of hers. I feel that warmness inside of me, and I know that I’ve gotten her back. My Lauren, the woman I’ve always loved. She didn’t go anywhere, she’s been right here with me the whole time, only I was too stupid to realize it. “I don’t think I could be with anybody else...ever. I’m just...ready to make you my wife, Lauren. That’s all I’ve wanted for a long time now, and I don’t care what my family says, or how shitty that fight was before. I’m marrying you, end of story.”
“Will you kiss me then?”
She says it like it’s our first date, like she’s never really been kissed by me before, even though I know I did it this morning in the bedroom. She was nervous then though, different from the woman I knew. Now she’s back, and I guess there’s nothing I’d like more than to feel her tender, soft lips against my own. I don’t hesitate, I just smile and plant my lips against hers. She wraps her arms around my neck, pulls me down closer to her and deepens our kiss.
Finally, I’m lost in her all over again, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her.
“J.” She says it breathlessly as she comes up for some air.
“Yeah, baby?”
“I really...I really want to finish what you started this afternoon at the house.”
I laugh at her. “Seriously? We’re at my mom’s, Laur.”
She shrugs. “You’re creative. Think of something.”
Of course that’s never been a problem for me. I pull her up from the bench and kiss her one more time before I take her by the hand. “C’mon.”
*********
“I’ve never seen you cry during sex before,” he smiles, and runs his fingers across my cheek and forehead, sweeping the hair out of my eyes. “Damn, it’s not even our wedding night.”
“I couldn’t help myself,” I say softly, my smile unwavering as I stare back into his amazing blue eyes. “All that emotion from today took over, I guess.”
It’s not exactly a lie, but not exactly the truth either. What Justin doesn’t know won’t hurt him though, and what we just did was so special, so sacred to me that I couldn’t help but let the tears flow freely. He made love to me as only he could...the man that loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Our sex was special, beautiful, bold and passionate, something I never, ever want to let go of.
No matter what kind of crazy shit brought me here, I know that this is where I belong now, and forever. Here with him, because I love him more than anything in this world.
And he loves me too.
Justin drove us to this little bed and breakfast outside of town. I already know that our families are going to kill us when we walk back in the door tomorrow morning. Justin didn’t call to tell anybody where we were, and neither did I. We just took off, didn’t look back for a night, but I know we needed it. I needed to seal the deal with him, ensure our love was completely real. Now that I know the truth, I have the rest of our lives to make this up to his family, and get to know every single thing about him like I’m supposed to.
I can’t wait. I can’t wait to start my new life with him.
I’ve never been this happy before.
“You won’t vanish in the morning or anything will you?” He asks lazily, his eyes half closed.
I laugh at him, caress his face a little before he pulls me closer to his bare chest. “Not unless this is all a dream that I suddenly wake up from.”
He kisses my forehead. “This is too amazing to be a dream.”
I smile slightly, watch him drift off to sleep. He has to be right. There’s so much passion between us that it can’t be a dream. This is life, this is reality, and it will always be.
With that in mind, I finally allow myself to drift off to sleep, without a care or worry in the world.
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