“You’re going to have to make it again.”

She narrows her eyes at me as I slide it back across the counter.  “What’s the problem, sir?”

“Just use this.” I sigh harshly as I pull the measuring spoon out of my back pocket.  “It has to be exactly this much sugar.”

“You work for somebody don’t you?”

I flash her a tight smile, and she seems to get it, goes to make the coffee after that.

It’s a relief, but I know it won’t last long.  When I get back, I’m sure there will be another project waiting for me.  Is it what I asked for? Not really.  When I was hired, I thought about how great it was going to be, working for one of the most sought after celebrities in America.

After a month though, I knew it was nothing more than a grueling, thankless job.

If somebody asked me who the most selfish person in the world is, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell them that it’s London Pierce, or well...Sarah Moggins, but nobody is supposed to know that.  Nobody is supposed to know about a lot of things when it comes to her, and that’s my job...to be discreet and cater to her every desire.  Trace always asks me why I stay, says that I could probably get a good job working for somebody else.  I ask myself that same question a lot too, and actually, I’ve had a few job offers this year.  Great ones, that I know could help me achieve what I really want to do....break into the spotlight and become an actor myself.

But I turned them all down, and I guess that’s because part of me knows that if I were to leave...she wouldn’t have anybody else.  She may be a complete bitch, but she still needs somebody to take care of her, since nobody else will.  Her people seem to cease and desist as soon as they can, and they tell me all the time that I’m the only one who has the stomach to handle her.

I guess they’re right, but I’m a lot more resilient than most.  I’m not like these rich yuppies.  I didn’t come from money.  I came from a poor family that had too many kids to feed, was out of the house by the time I was eighteen. I moved out here, to LA, and worked my way up through the bowels of society.  I’ve waited tables, worked at kiddie arcades, I was even one of those guys that stands on the sidewalk, wearing a big sign or ridiculous costume to lure people into a business.  Eventually I was able to meet some people, get a halfway decent job, and obtained enough credentials on my resume so I could work for the elite.  A year after working in the industry, I was referred to Sarah.  She had just made a name for herself (not her real one of course), finished filming her first big movie, and it was decided she needed an assistant to help her with her busy schedule.

I was offered an interview, so I took it, because it was a huge opportunity despite all the bad things I heard about her.

“You’ll do I guess.”  She said to me.  “Just make sure you don’t call me Sarah in public.  It’s Ms. Pierce or London.”

And that was that.

Five years later I’ve become somewhat of an expert at scheduling, errand running, and keeping somebody else’s life organized.  Hell, I could probably write a book about it.  My social life doesn’t exist, outside of my best friend, who I rarely see.  I don’t get holidays, or weekends to myself.  Even if it’s my designated day off, I’m still on call, and I usually find myself doing work rather than relaxing.  I live in her house, travel with her, and she sees to it that I’m always doing what she wants and never the other way around.

At times, I feel like I’m her little lap dog.  If Poppy wasn’t around, I’m sure I would be the one she called ‘schmoopsy poo’ when she got bored.  I would have to put up with it too, not complain, or it could cost me my job.  It’s not that I’m afraid of being unemployed.  I’m good at finding work.  I guess I’m just afraid she’d tell anybody that would listen, that I was unreliable or untrustworthy, anything to deter them from giving me a job.

I’d have to move back home, and that’s the last thing I want to happen, so I stay and put up with the shit she deals out to me everyday.

“Two thirds of a teaspoon, right?”  She says it to me when I finally get back to the set.

I’m panting harshly, desperately trying to catch my breath, because I ran.  She gave me fifteen minutes, and after five years, I know all too well that she times shit like that.

“Yeah.”  

She takes the coffee, sniffs it, stirs it, and takes that fateful sip.  I hold my breath.

“It’s cold, Justin.”  She rolls her eyes and pushes the cup back in my face.  “God, go put it in the microwave would you...oh...just forget it.  I can’t stand twice heated coffee.  Thanks for nothing.”

I take it from her gently, my teeth gritted, and at times like this it takes everything in me not to go off on her.  “Sorry, London.”

“Just check my phone messages in the trailer.”  She waves me off, in disgust, and goes back to looking at the empty movie set.  “Oh, and don’t forget to pick Hailey up.  After you drop her off, make sure you come right back here.”

“Will do.”

“And if she asks to come here with you, make sure you don’t give in.  I don’t have time to deal with her clinging to me today.”

“Fine, London.”

“Fine?”

“I mean...” I trail off and suck in a breath, before exhaling slowly.  “Yes, London.”

“Hmph.”

She goes back to ignoring me.

I do as she asks, thankful to be rid of her for at least an hour while I check her messages and compile a list of everything she’s been asked to do.  I keep my eye on the time during this process, making sure I’m not late to arrive for the best part of my job.

Besides Trace, I think Hailey is probably my best friend, even though she’s only nine.  She doesn’t act like it though.  From the time I met her, when she was four years old, she acted like a little adult.  We have conversations that most children never have with people twice their ages.  She teaches me things I never would have thought about otherwise, like how to cope with a father you only see about every two years, and how to deal with a mother who treats you like you’ve always been a mistake since you were born.  She goes to a really fancy school in Beverly Hills, an all girls academy, that teaches her to mind her manners and speak like a intellectual.

If you ask me, I think she’s been robbed of her childhood.  As sad as that is too, I wouldn’t expect anything less from Sarah.

One thirty hits and I rush out of the studio so I won’t be late picking her up, thankfully not getting stopped by Sarah, because she’s filming a scene.  I get into the luxurious Mercedes, the one that I chauffeur her around in half the time, and drive the twenty five minutes to the Archer School For Girls.  I see them all lined up out front as usual, in their stuffy looking black jumpers, and I quickly park so I can get Hailey out of that prison as fast as I possibly can.  I’ve never told Sarah, of course, but her daughter absolutely hates going to this school.  She says the teachers are mean and most of the girls are stuck up.  

It amazes me that Hailey hasn’t gotten an ego like her classmates, with a mother like Sarah.

“Hey Monster,” I smile when I walk up and reach the spot where she’s standing.  “You ready?”

She groans and wraps her arms around my legs before looking up at me.  “Get me outta here, Justin.”

I laugh a little, and ruffle her blonde hair slightly before gently pulling away and taking her by the hand.  “So school wasn’t good, I guess?”

“Let’s not go there.”

I smile, and open the door for her when we reach the car.  “Sounds like a plan.”

“Can I visit with my mom?” She asks me hopefully, once we’re on the road again.

I clear my throat and try not to look over at her.  The last time she asked me that question, and I did that, I ended up giving in, even though Sarah told me she didn’t want her around that day, either.  “She’s in the middle of filming.  She said she’d see you later.”

Not a sound, not even a sigh, and I can’t help but finally look at her.  It hits me right in the gut, seeing that cute little girls head hanging so low.  I know she’s trying really hard not to cry.  She hates crying too, tells me its a weakness.

She needs to get out more.  

“Hey, maybe we can do something.”

I shouldn’t.  Sarah will kick my ass if I don’t come back to work.  

“Really?”

Her brown eyes have completely lit up at the idea of doing anything entertaining after school.  She never does.  I know her routine.  I pick her up, drop her off at Sarah’s massive house, and leave again.  I know that sometimes a couple of girls from school will come over to play, but the friendships never last.  She doesn’t keep friends for long.  She has a hard time being social.

Gee, I wonder why.

“Yeah,” I say, against my better judgement.  “How about we have a pizza and go to a movie?”

“You really mean it!”

I laugh, happy that I’ve been able to brighten her mood.  “Of course I mean it.”

“I love you, Justin,” she smiles.  “I love you a lot.”

“Well, I love you too, Monster.”

Yeah, I’m glad I made the kid happy, and I would never break my promise to her right now.

But I know there will be hell to pay later on, when I see Sarah again.
*********
Hey, you’ve reached Justin Timberlake, please leave a name, number and detailed message so I can get back to you...

I click the phone off, grit my teeth and shake my head furiously.  

“Where the fuck is he?”

I redial, nearly breaking a perfectly manicured nail because I’m pressing the keys so hard.

The studio’s limo was out on a job, and so I had to...to take a taxi home.  Anything could have happened to me in that car with that strange man.

It smelled funny in there too and there was a piece of gum stuck to the ceiling.

I had to scrub myself for an hour in the shower to feel like myself again.

One ring, and then...

Hey, you’ve reached Justin Timberlake...

I’ll fucking kill him.

Well, no, I’ll fire him first, and then I’ll kill him.

Did he quit?  No, no he wouldn’t.  He couldn’t.  He’s stuck with me this long, and I mean...Hailey is with him....

Speaking of my daughter, I guess I should be concerned where she wound up too.

I guess I’m too angry.  Too angry to care because my assistant has gone awol and I have all this shit I have to do.  None of my appointments are straightened out for tomorrow.  I don’t have my detailed list of them in chronological order or Justin to stand here and read them off to me while I sip my tea, steeped for three minutes and half a packet of Sugar in the Raw, a touch of cream in my special cup that Justin prepared for me.

I can’t do any of that myself! I wouldn’t even know where to start.  God, what if I miss that Barbara Walters interview I’ve been working so hard for? What if she called...what if she thinks I’m blowing her off?  It could end my career.  

My career is over, and it’s all his fucking fault.

God, I’m gonna puke.

And I do it, but it’s better anyway.  Too many calories at lunch today, and I’m still trying to burn off that baby fat from my pregnancy nine years ago.  I was overdue for a nice big hurl.

I flush, and sink down to the floor, attempting to catch my breath partially from the hurl and partially because of how angry I am.  I close my eyes and think back to a time before Justin was around.  How I was a broke struggling actress with a daughter to feed and no support.  Was I different then? Was I as harsh with people, was I as angry?  I don’t know, I can’t remember because that version of myself has been gone since my daughter was three years old.  I fell into the movie biz, and started doing stupid comedies that weren’t exactly praise worthy, but got my name mentioned to the right  people.  A year later I was cast in my role of a lifetime, with George Clooney, and my career just...took off.

Now, I’m one of the biggest superstars in America...a Hollywood starlet if you will.  Next month, I’m even doing French Vogue, and releasing my perfume line to the international market.  I can’t wait to go.

Justin was referred to me a few months after that movie premiered.  My agent found him through one of his contacts, told me he was very intelligent and was the type of person I had described to him originally when the idea of hiring an assistant was brought to the table.  To be honest, I haven’t had much to complain about.  Of course, I’m the type of woman who keeps people on their toes.  You have to be like that in this business, otherwise you’ll get stepped on, walked all over, and I refuse to take that kind of crap from anyone, especially my employees.  I would never admit it to Justin of course, but he’s been the perfect assistant up until now.  He follows orders, races to get his tasks completed, and he takes care of my daughter on the side so I don’t have to hire a nanny.

In fact, this is the first time he’s ever done something so out of line.  Maybe something happened...

I just can’t seem to make myself believe it though.  Whenever somebody does something like this, it has to mean that they’re betraying me for their own selfish desires.

I’ll kill him.

When I step out of the bathroom again, I immediately hear my front door opening and shutting again.  The sound of my daughter throwing her crap on the ground and running through the house echoes in the foyer, and then I hear Justin’s voice come next, telling Hailey to pick up her things.  I rush through the hall and out to the foyer, determined to back him into a corner before he can run and hide from me.

“Let her leave her shit there.” I say to him darkly, hands on my hips as I narrow my eyes at him.  “What do you care anyway?”

Justin swallows hard and takes a couple of steps backwards.  “Hi, Sarah.”

“And just where the hell were you this afternoon?”

He shrugs.  “I picked up Hailey. Then I took her out for pizza and a movie.”

“Oh how sweet.”

He just stares at me, because my tone was less than believable.

“Did it occur to you, Justin, that I would be stuck at the studio?”

“I...I thought somebody would have brought you home.”

“The limo was out.”

He continues to stare at me.

“So where did that leave me you ask? Well, they were so kind as to call a cab company to pick me up.  So I had to ride in a dirty, disgusting, cab.  With a strange, disgusting, man, who now knows where I live!”

r32;r32;“I’m um..I’m sure they wouldn’t have let just anybody drive you home.”

“That’s not the point, is it Justin!”

He hangs his head low.  “No, no I guess it’s not.”

“I might have to move now! He knows where I live! There’s no telling what can happen from here!”

I see a hint of a smile on his face, before he bows his head and rubs his hand across his mouth.  It’s obvious that he thinks this whole thing is a big joke, because he’s trying not to laugh.  “If I fire you right now, will it be funny to you too?”

He looks at me long and hard, the light in his eyes fading away to nothing.  “This close to French Vogue, Sarah?  I mean, if you fire me it is what is it, but I have no idea who you’ll be able to hire and fill in this close to the trip.”

He’s right.  He’s right and I hate him for it.  I really do.  I’d be lost without him at this point, while everything is coming together for me career wise.  My agent would agree too, tell me I can’t afford to lose such a competent assistant at this juncture.

I have no choice but to keep him on the payroll.

It’s not fair.

“Fine...fine I guess I need you, for now.  Consider this a probationary period.  When we get back home, we’ll sit down and discuss your performance.”

He smirks.  “Whatever you want, Sarah.”

“So...getting back to the point, what made you think it would be okay to take my daughter out, feed her crap and force her to watch crap too?”

“I took her to that organic pizza place, and we saw a Disney movie.” He rolls his eyes.  “The kid had a rough day at that school you keep her at.  I wanted to make her feel better, that’s all.”

“Well you’re not her parent.  I am, and I’m the one who says where she can spend her time.  She should have been home, doing her homework and practicing her piano.”

“That’s no life for a kid.”  

He blurts it out, but then a look takes over his expression, like he knows he forgot himself.  

“It’s the life I want for her,” I say darkly.  “Don’t do it again, or I’ll have you out on your ass, regardless of what’s going on.”

“Noted,” he nods.  “Next time I’ll check in with you.”

“Hmph.”  I turn on my heel and walk away from him.  Naturally I can hear him following behind me, as always.  He’s used to it, knows to never leave my side unless I tell him it’s time.  “So did you check my messages or were you too busy gallivanting around LA?”

“I have a list for you.  Do you want tea now or later?”

I sit down on one of the bar stools that surround the kitchen island and cross my arms.  “Of course I want my tea now.”

He just nods, and gets to work.  I watch him, how methodical he is about making it for me.  He has it down to a science with the steeping, and stirring, and sugar pouring.  Something inside of me sinks...it’s like he’s my slave, not my assistant.  Five years he’s been doing this very same thing almost every night of the week, and he never, ever complains.

Come to think of it, he never complains about anything I make him do, and I don’t think it’s because he’s scared of me either.

I don’t really know what it is.

You don’t deserve him.

Maybe it’s true, but at the same time, I can’t afford to be without him, despite my threats.

I can’t afford to be without him...or is it that I’d miss him?

It’s too scary to think about.

“Mom?”

I look back over my shoulder and see Hailey standing there, already changed into her pajama’s like a good kid.  I manage to smile for her, as only I can.  “Yes, Hailey, what is it?”

“Will you lay with me for awhile?”

I feel his eyes on me, and when I look back at Justin, I find that he’s leaning against the kitchen counter, surveying the conversation I’m having with a smirk on his face.  I send him a glare, but he just laughs and goes back to his tea preparation.  

“I can’t tonight,” I tell her.  “I’m busy going over things with Justin.  Mommy has a big trip to plan.”

She frowns.  “You never want to lay with me anymore.”

“I have to work, Hailey.  You know that.  How else can I afford to give you all of these wonderful things?”

“Never mind.”  She says it softly, and then walks out of the kitchen without looking back.

“Don’t worry,” Justin finally says after several moments of silence.  “In a year she won’t even ask you anymore.  Then you won’t have to deal with it.  It’ll be like you never had a kid at all.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  I ask him roughly as he slides my teacup over to me.

“Exactly what it sounds like.  You want her out of your hair, and you’re definitely on the road to success.”  

He takes a seat across from me and plops a notepad down on the island top.  I see that his scribbled writing goes on and on, and that means we definitely have a lot to go over tonight.  

“Are you trying to say I don’t care about my daughter?”

“Oh no, I’m not trying to say that.”

I nod.  “Good, because if you did say that...”

“I know you don’t care about her.”

My eyes widen and I feel my cheeks burning as I look up at him again.  He’s staring me down this time, his eyes narrowed, his expression serious.  I know he’s not playing around, I know he cares about Hailey, but at the same time my relationship with her is none of his business.  “You have a hell of a nerve.”

“I’ve worked for you five years.  I know everything about you, everything about your daughter.  Not once in the five years I’ve worked for you, have you ever taken her someplace as simple as the movies or out for pizza.  In fact, I haven’t seen you spend more than a couple of hours with her a week.  You barely talk to her, Sarah.”

“I’m busy! You know I’m busy!”

“It doesn’t matter how busy you are!”

He’s never yelled at me before today.

It shocks me so much that I can’t even say anything.  All I can do is sit here and stare at him.

“Look, I’m busy too...busier than you are.  I have no life, because I’m running yours, and I still have time for your daughter.  I mean, is that fucked up or what?”

“She’s part of your job.”

“She’s not.  My job isn’t to be a nanny.  I’m your assistant.  I spend time with Hailey because she’s a good kid that deserves to have somebody in her life that loves her.”

“I love my daughter.”

He leans forward, so his face is directly in front of mine.  “Then start acting like you do.”

“Where’s this all coming from?” I pull back slightly, so his breath isn’t as hot in my face anymore.  “You never seemed to care one way or the other, before.”

He shrugs.  “I’m not going to be around forever.  I want to make sure she’s going to be okay with you.”

I snort out a laugh.  “I’m not firing you yet.”

“That doesn’t mean I won’t find something else better to do with my time on my own.”

“Is that...are you threatening me?”

He sighs harshly.  “You’re not understanding the point of this.”

“Am I supposed to?”

“Let’s just get down to business, all right?”  

He starts to flip through his notes, and I sip my tea, trying to process everything he said to me, and force my frustrations away so I can focus on work.  

“So what...is there somebody else you’d rather work for or something?”

“Sarah...let’s just...”

“No, I want to know.  I’m curious.”  I flash him a sarcastic smile.  “I’d love to know who would want to hire an idiot like you.”

He shakes his head.  “I shouldn’t have even said anything.  I’m not getting into it with you, okay? Just leave it alone.”

“Well you brought it up, so lets have it!”

He glances up at me, as if he’s debating it.  “I turned them down, if that’s what you’re so curious about.”

“Turned who down?”

“It’s not important.  I just had offers, good ones, but I decided to stay.”

He looks back down at his notes.

“Oh so this is the part where I promise I’ll start to be nicer, or something?  Did you script this yourself?”

He laughs at me.  “No, and you being nicer would never happen.  I don’t want anything from you, Sarah.  I’m concerned for Hailey’s happiness but there’s not much I can do about it.  You’re going to do what you want, despite my best efforts to give you a wake up call.  Now, let’s get to work, so I can go to bed at a decent hour.”

“Five years and you’ve never said anything like this to me before.”

He shrugs.  “I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry at you before.”

“Angry?”

“Number one,” he says, reading from his notepad.  “You’ve been asked to be part of a fundraiser for Breast Cancer.  In or out?”

“Why are you angry at me?”

“In or out?”

I ball my fists up, ready to punch him.  “When?” I say it through clenched teeth.

“Week from tomorrow.”

“Who’s going to be there?”

“Everyone.”r32;

“In.”

He notes it on the paper.  “Number two...”

“Justin.”

“Number two.  They want you to read for a new romantic comedy next Friday morning, but you’re supposed to do Ellen.  So we need to figure out what you want more.  The role or the publicity.  I say go for the reading, since you’ve already done her show twice.”

“Why are you angry at me?”

“I’ll call Ellen and cancel.”  He makes another notation.  “Number three...”

“Fucking damn it!”  I pound my fist on the table.  “Answer me!”

“Sarah, why do you care?”

“I...”

Christ, I really don’t know.  Why do I care? I’ve never cared what he’s thought of me before.  I treat him like vermin, like I’m too good for him, and that’s been fine with  me up until tonight.

What the hell is going on?

“I...I don’t know,” I finish saying.  “I shouldn’t.  I don’t really want to care...I just...I don’t know.”

“I’m angry at the whole situation.  How you treat me, how you treat Hailey.  I’m tired, Sarah.  I haven’t had a vacation since I started working for you, but it doesn’t even matter.  I’m used to it, and I guess I was stupid to think I could get through to you.”

“I’ll live how I want to live.”

“Yeah, I know.”  He looks down at the paper again.  “Number three.  Barbara Walters wants to do that interview, finally.  She says she can do it the beginning of next month, but that interferes with the trip to France, so what should I tell her?”

“So I’ll give you a vacation then!”

He stares at me, his face drained of color at the idea of a vacation.

It hits me hard that I’ve never given him one.  That’s harsh...yeah, it really is.  I need to wake the hell up.

Because I don’t want to lose him.

“You wouldn’t make it past the first day,” he mutters.  “What am I going to tell Walters? You’ve only been drooling over this interview prospect for months.”

“Cancel what you have to.”

“French Vogue?”

“When do you want to take your vacation?”

“You’re going to cancel French Vogue?” He laughs.  “You can’t be serious.  I’ll call Walters and see if we can reschedule her thing so we don’t have to cancel the trip.”

“Fine, whatever. When do you want to take your vacation?”

He stares at me, his pen paused on the paper, mouth a gape, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“I’m serious, Justin.  You deserve at least a week after five years.”

“So I’m just supposed to leave all of this on hold to sit around for a week?  Have you forgotten that I live here too?  I won’t be able to stop myself from handling things.”

“So go somewhere.”

He laughs at me.  “You’ll be calling me the first day.”

“I’m...I’m capable.”  I clear my throat nervously.  “I’ll still have Ray to handle some things, and I can...I can keep track of stuff on my own for a week.”

It all sounds great, but in reality the whole idea makes me nervous as hell and I can feel another hurl coming on.  Justin is like...my security blanket at times.  Even though I have body guards, having him at my side always reassures me.  When I get nervous, as I tend to do very often, he’s right there with my coffee and unrelenting smile.  When I get tired, he’s right there with a pillow and an uncanny place for me to take a short nap.  When I’m hungry, he’s by my side with a bag of food.  When I’m sick, he whips out his emergency doctor kit and gives me exactly what I need The crazy thing is, most of the time, I don’t even have to say anything.  He just knows what I need, regardless of the situation.  It’s like when a baby cries...you just know what to do.

Still, despite all of this, I treat him like a piece of garbage everyday, and I’m fine with it.  

So’s he.

That’s really starting to bother me.  God, maybe I’m having a life altering experience or something.

When Justin starts laughing again, I know he thinks I’m as incapable as I feel.  Maybe he’s right though.  Maybe I’m incapable of making appointments, or handling my career on my own.  I’m usually too stuck in my own little bubble to see things clearly like he can, and I guess if it wasn’t for everything he does...I’d be nowhere, career wise.  

“No.  It’s fine,” he shakes his head and starts jotting things on the notepad again.  “I don’t need a vacation.”

“Well you were complaining enough about not getting one!”

“I was frustrated with you.  I should have known enough to keep it bottled up inside of me like always.  Really, just forget about it.  I’m not about to keel over or anything, it is what it is.”r32;

“You really have no faith in me,” I moan.  “You think I’m an airhead, don’t you?”

He looks up at me, sighs, but still flashes me that genuine smile of his.  He always gives it to me, no matter how much I’m berating him, no matter how long my lists of tasks for him seem to be.  I just don’t get it.  I don’t understand how he puts up with me.

Fuck, I just admitted it to myself.  I’m the most difficult, selfish person in the world.

But it’s safer this way.  I know that better than anyone.

“Sarah, I don’t think you’re an airhead.”

Out of everybody, he’s the only one who chooses to call me Sarah when we’re out of the public eye.  Everybody else seems to find it easier to just call me London.  Not him.  I think he hates that name.  

I do too, but Ray says it’s more appealing to the public and looks better on the big screen.

“I just know how you can get,” he continues.  “One thing goes wrong and it’s the end of the world.  You couldn’t handle say...if somebody needed to reschedule.  You’d probably curse them out, and lose the interview or cover photo shoot all together.  You can’t afford it, and so...I’m going to stay right here, on the job.”

“Maybe I can hire a temp.”

He cracks up.  “I’d hate to bestow this job on anybody, even if it is only for a week.”

I frown.

“C’mon, focus,” he says, his laughter fading away.  “Let’s go over this itinerary for your week in France.”

“Why did you decide to go into this type of work anyway?”

“Day one...”

“Justin, come on.”

He groans.  “I’m not going to get to bed tonight am I?”

I shrug.  “I’m just curious.  I mean, it’s not exactly the most glorifying job...chasing me around and making sure I don’t fuck up.”

“I fell into this job.  Before I worked for you, I was an assistant to a lot of directors and producers.  I chose to be a PA to get my foot in the door so I could move onto to bigger things.  Isn’t that what people do in LA?”

“Mostly...yeah, I guess so.”

He nods.  “Okay, so day one...”

“So what did you really want to do?”

“Why the sudden infatuation with my personal life, Sarah?  You never cared before.”

“I guess I just...maybe I should have asked you a long time ago.”

He smirks.  “It really doesn’t make a difference, does it? I’m here to do a job and you’re here to be London Pierce, superstar.”

“Maybe I just don’t think it’s fair that you know everything about me, while I don’t know anything about you.”

“It’s my job to know everything about you.”

“So?”

Great comeback.

He sighs, and leans back in his seat.  “If I give you a little insight can we move on with work?”

“I guess that’s a good compromise.”

“I wanted to be an actor, so I came out here.  I had a few auditions, but it wasn’t working out, so I started doing odd jobs around town until I fell in with a couple of people who brought me into the industry, and here I am today.  Satisfied?”

“Is that the Cliffs Notes version?”

“It’s the only version you’re getting.”  He sits back up and sighs, before looking down at his notes again.  “Day one...France TV 4 wants to do an hour segment on their morning show with you, then you’ve got some radio interviews, and an appearance at Le Bon Marche for the perfume line that evening.  Ray promised them you’d do a signing for a hundred purchased bottles.  If security does their job right, we can probably have you out in about two...two and a half hours.”

I feel a smile pull at the corners of my mouth, and I start to look at him, really look at him for the first time ever.  I can’t deny that he’s handsome with those blue crystal eyes and killer smile, his curly, sometimes frizzy, light brown hair.  I’ve never thought of him in that way before, but it’s the truth.  I know he works out too.  I’ve caught him in my gym on numerous occasions, shirtless, lifting weights on the bench press, or running on the treadmill.

He definitely has the body for this business, that’s for sure.

God, no.  No I can’t think of him like that.  He’s my damn assistant.

And besides, Hailey’s father promised he was coming into town next week.  It’s another chance, another shot at making things work with him.

It’s the only thing I wish for, but it never seems to work out.  Probably because I’m not good enough for him.  I’m trying to be though. I’m trying to be that woman that he wants, for the sake of our daughter.

“Sarah, did you get all of that?”

“Huh...oh yeah...”

He laughs sadly.  “Right, and I’m supposed to take a vacation.”

“I got it...TV, radio, signing, bullshit.  I can handle it.”

“How about we finish this tomorrow.”  He picks up the notepad and slides off his seat.  “It’s been kind of a crazy day anyway.  We both need to sleep.”

“Okay, I’ll make us breakfast.”

“You have to be at the studio for nine...”  He trails off, shakes his head.  “See what I mean?   You need me here.  Not as your friend, but as your assistant, and that’s why I choose not to get personal with you.”

I can’t say anything.  I feel horrible, but he’s right.  I don’t even know where I’m supposed to be tomorrow, or what time, and arriving late to set is never good, no matter how famous you are.  “Maybe you’re right.”

“I know I’m right.”  He starts to walk past me, but pauses and squeezes my shoulder a little, like a good friend would.  “Just...get some rest, all right Sarah?”

“Make sure my coffee is ready before we leave in the morning.  I want it from the cafe, and it better not be cold,” I say, in my usual tone, hating myself for it, but knowing that this is the way things have to be.  

“Will do.  Night Sarah.”

He walks off, disappears into my massive house, and I know I won’t be seeing him again until the morning.