“So, how-how was the flight in?”
He continues to stir his drink around, and doesn’t look up at me. “The usual.”
I smile, swallow hard, but try not to lose my composure. Things are going well, and I can’t afford to turn into a nervous wreck now. Alex spent the whole afternoon talking to Hailey, playing games and reading to her. She was so happy. I can’t remember the last time I saw my daughter that way, and it told me that Justin was wrong about him. Alex has changed. He’s so much more willing to spend time with Hailey and it’s only been one day. He never acts like this. Usually he ignores her. It’s a good sign.
Now we’re out to dinner...just us, like he promised me. I wore the dress that Justin said I looked beautiful in, and Alex hasn’t said anything negative about it, so that means he approves.
Maybe we will get back together, after all.
“So I was thinking.”
I perk up slightly as his eyes meet mine. “About what?”
“About Hailey.”
I smile and feel my cheeks get a little hot. “She’s really glad you’re here, baby.”
He laughs slightly and gives me a strange look. “Yeah...anyway, I was thinking that maybe we could switch off.”
“Switch off?”
“Well she’s older now, you know? I’d like to try this dad thing out for a few years, raise her with me in the city until she’s ready for college.”
My heart flutters. God, finally. Finally, he’s coming around, realizing that he loves me and doesn’t want to be without me anymore. That slut he left me for must be long gone. He knows that he’s been missing out on a great thing, and I can’t wait for us to all be a family again.
It’s like my dreams are coming true. I have the career, and now I’ll have the husband too.
“Oh! Well, I’m filming, and I have some international promotion coming up for the perfume line. But once all of that is out of the way I’m sure we can relocate to the city with you. It sounds great.”
“Oh um...” He strokes his chin and leans back in the chair slightly. “Listen London...”
“Sarah,” I say to him gently, reaching across the table for one of his hands. “You can call me Sarah in public. You know that.”
“Oh well, okay.” He laughs nervously and clears his throat. “Sarah...I mean, you and I...we did a great thing together once. We made that little girl and you know I’ll always have a special place for you in my heart. I’ll always love you for giving her to me.”
I suddenly feel like a million daggers have been plunged into my heart all at once. I hate to admit this, because it’s only the first day, but I have the worst feeling. One that’s telling me he never intended on getting back together with me at all.
He’s after my daughter now. He wants to take her away.
I don’t know what to think, or what to do.
“We’re just not right together, you know that don’t you?” He finally takes my hand, and squeezes it gently. “You’ve made it, Sarah. You’re a star now, and that means you’re busy too. We wouldn’t have time for each other anyway,” he nods, trying to get me to agree with him.
“But...Alex...” My voice quivers and I look down at our locked hands. “You said...”
r32;“I said I wanted to take you out to dinner so we could talk,” he tells me seriously. “I never said anything about getting back together. I’m sorry if I confused you. I should have been clearer. I’m still with Corinne, and I came here for Hailey.”
My mouth hangs open for a long time, and he just stares back at me, waiting for my response. “Corinne?” I rasp. “But I thought...”
“We’re trying to work things out. I’m doing the best I can to change who I am for her. All the times I came out here and we...ended up in bed together...it wasn’t what I should have done. I know that now, but I want to make sure you and I can stay on good terms, for our daughters sake.”
I snort out a laugh and shake my head. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this right now.”
“I love her. Hell, I’m about to ask her to marry me.”
It hits me right in the gut and practically knocks the wind out of me. My lips tremble, and I have to suck in my bottom one, do everything I can not to start sobbing in front of him.
Hearing him say that hurts so fucking bad, and I can feel the hurl beginning to force its way out of me.
Once again, I’m not good enough for him.
I’ll never be.
“I know it looked like I was staying for a while, but I only brought the extra luggage because I have a business trip after this visit with you. I wanted to take Hailey with me. I have some business in Washington State and then I’m flying to Tokyo Friday night. I thought it would be the perfect time for us to bond without Corinne.”
“So let me get this straight.” I fold my hands on top of the table and give him a long, hard look. Naturally, he doesn’t seem phased. He never is. “I’m just supposed to hand Hailey over to you after nine years of raising her all on my own?”
“C’mon, Sarah,” he smirks. “You and I both know that she’s practically raising herself. You’re too busy for a kid. The move will be better for her, and for you. She’ll finally be out of your hair and you can focus on other things. I’m doing you a favor.”
“But I...”
“You’ve had nine years with her. It’s my turn,” he pushes. “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be. Remember, we decided to keep this out of the courts from the beginning, for her sake. I don’t want to do it, but I’ll fight for custody if I have to, and I mean...is that what you want? A media circus surrounding you...Hailey? What about when all kinds of crap starts surfacing in the media about you? I’d hate to think how it could effect you professionally.”
“What kind of...what could you possibly have on me?”
“Enough to bring you down.” He winks. “Is fighting for a child that you barely pay attention to, worth all of that embarrassment, Sarah?”
I hang my head low, close my eyes, and try to think of something, anything that will drive him away, leave us alone. I know Alex though. I know him better than anybody, and when he wants something, he’ll stop at nothing to get it. I feel like he’s backed me into a corner. I’m trapped.
I don’t have a choice, unless I want to lose everything, because I’m sure whatever he has on me is enough to give me a bad rap.
I admit, I did a lot of...risque things in my early years, to make a name for myself. Things I’m not proud of. Things I was stupid enough to tell him about, and the tabloids would eat it all up if he went to them with those stories. Directors don’t like to cast actors that have scandals hanging over their heads, either, and I’ve come too far to be out of work now.
She’ll be better off with her father. Right. I have to believe that.
Maybe Justin was right. Maybe I don’t value Hailey enough. I couldn’t, if I’m willing to give her up for the sake of my career.
“Will I...will I still get to see her?”
“Of course you’ll see her,” he laughs. “We’ll alternate holidays. It won’t be as bad as you think, I promise.”
I lick my lips, press them together.
Is this right?
I’m so fucking useless. As messed up as it is, I wish Justin were here. He’d have the answer. He always does, even when I don’t want one.
“Sarah?”
I look up at him, into those blue eyes that I used to get lost in for hours. He was different then. We both were, but things have changed...so much. I’m nothing to him. Worthless. I’m the mother of his daughter, and that’s the only reason he associates with me at all. He doesn’t care about London Pierce, trendsetter, up and comer, A-Lister.
He thinks I’m a washed up loser.
“Okay,” I croak. “It’s the best thing for her.”
“I knew you’d understand.” He smiles brightly and reaches into his jacket pocket, fishing out a folded packet of papers moments later. “I just need you to sign a few things, you know, for formalities. Wouldn’t want an issue...you saying I kidnapped her or something.”
He’s laughing, but I’m not.
“You never said I had to sign anything.”
“It’s a lawyer thing.”
That smile of his doesn’t fade as he pushes the papers towards me. The packet is about eight or nine pages long, detailing the terms of Hailey’s custody. The better part of me knows I should have my lawyer look over this. He’s warned me before never to sign anything unless he’s present.
But I just...trust Alex, because he’s the father of my child.
“All it’s saying is that you’re letting me take Hailey to live in New York.”
“It takes nine pages to say all that?”
“You know...all that legal terminology.” He hands me a pen. “Just sign the back page. Save yourself the stress of all this mumbo jumbo.”
“Do you promise to take care of her, Alex?”
“She’ll be in good hands,” he nods. “I swear.”
I don’t hesitate. I just sign on the dotted line, because I want the best thing for Hailey, and right now I don't think it’s me.
“Great.” He snatches it away from me before I can lift the pen completely away from the paper. “Thanks for making it easy, Sarah. You did the right thing. Oh, and that check...I’ll take it the third week of every month.”
I’m confused. “Check?”
“Child support, of course. It’s all in the contract that you just signed. Seventy five thousand a month, plus fifty percent of the profit of any exclusive endorsements that you sign on for, and any franchise merchandise that you market.”
“What?”
“Oh, about that lawyer thing.” He smiles, and picks up his menu again. “Just a little tip I learned in law school. You should always make sure you know what your signing, regardless of who’s telling you it doesn’t matter.”
“You...you can’t do this!”
“I just did.”
“Alex...”
“Now.” He opens his menu back up again. “Whats good here?”
Oh fuck.
Oh shit.
I slump down in my seat, and feel the tears trailing down my face within seconds. This wasn’t about Hailey at all. This was all a little scheme he conjured up, not only to steal my daughter away from me, but to get a cut of my earnings, probably so he doesn’t have to work anymore.
How could I be so stupid?
I’m a God damn fool, and now my daughter is going to pay for it.
***********
I never made it to the dry cleaners, or the florist. But I don’t think I ever intended to anyway. Instead, I pulled into an In and Out Burger, ordered some lunch and spent an hour on the phone with Cage. Naturally, he was thrilled that I decided to come around, and told me that starting after Paris was perfect. He said he would set up a place for me while I was gone. He’s getting me an apartment, said its ridiculous that I’m mandated to live with London, that I need my privacy and time to relax just like everyone else.
I really like him, and for the first time in years, I’m actually looking forward to something.
But I have to get through the rest of this first. I’ve been going over and over in my head how I’m going to break the news to Sarah. I figure it’s probably best to do it before we leave for Paris, otherwise she’ll be a complete basket case when I leave. This way, she’ll have a few weeks to interview some people and find that one special pion that will follow her orders and put up with her shit.
After the phone call, I continued to play hooky, because I knew if I went back to that house and faced Alex I would probably kill him. I called Trace, and we ended up having a leisurely dinner with a few of his friends, and some of his employees from the graphic design firm that he owns. He was shocked I could come. I’m never able to. There were people there that I probably would have been good friends with, if it wasn’t for Sarah. I’m starting to realize how important having a social life is after all these years, and Trace was never more happy for me when I told him about my career change. He says it’ll be good, that I might actually have time for women, meet somebody, and find out what I’m missing out on.
I hope he’s right. I mean, of course he’s right. I have to meet people and make time for myself.
There’s just been something nagging at me, all day, telling me that Sarah needs me, and she won’t be okay on her own. It’s just not my problem though. Not anymore. I can’t do it...I can’t put her life over my own anymore. It’s not healthy.
Maybe my leaving will finally wake her the hell up.
When I got back to the house, I fully intended on getting an earful from Sarah, and some stupid shit from Alex. They weren’t home though, and when I asked Marcia about it as she was walking out the door, all she said was that Sarah asked her to stay with Hailey until I got home, because she was going out to dinner with Alex. I figured that, and so I told her I was sorry she had to stay late, and I’d see her tomorrow.
Hailey was asleep when I went to check in on her, and Poppy the Pomeranian was curled up at the end of the bed, giving me a little yip when she saw me peeking my head through the door. I decided not to wake her, even though I barely saw her at all today. We usually have an after dinner ritual of watching a movie, reading a book, or playing a game. I guess today was a lot for her to handle. Seeing her father is always a big deal. She gets overexcited, tries to be the perfect kid for him, and she can’t concentrate on anything else.
I hate it. I hate him, and the way he makes his own kid bend over backwards to please him.
He’s like Sarah, but a million times worse. She may be a crazy bitch, but she would never make her own kid grovel. It’s not in her blood.
She just makes me grovel instead.
It’s about eleven when I hear them return. I flick the TV off, and get up, ready to greet Sarah at the door...take her coat and purse, like I usually do. It occurs to me that I don’t really need to...that I barely work for her anymore. It’s just routine I guess, instinct, after five years of doing the same thing.
“Alex, please!”
They burst through the door, completely disregarding the fact that I’m standing there at all. Sarah is in that dress, the one she tried on for me that day that I said she looked beautiful in.
I wasn’t lying. She really did. It’s hard to admit, because...I’m so fed up with her most of the time, but she really is a beautiful woman. She just doesn’t give herself enough credit.
Tonight though, it’s not the same woman I saw in the dress. Sarah’s a wreck. Her hair is disheveled, half falling out of the updo it was in when she returned from shopping earlier today. The mascara is running down her face in thick streams, and I realize she’s been crying for a good part of the night. It’s him. I know it’s him without having to ask, and I’d like to tell her that I told her so, but I guess it’s not the right time.
“I don’t want to hear anymore!” He screams it at her. “It’s done! Don’t you understand that?”
She immediately shuts up, and it takes her a few seconds to start sobbing again.
Whatever it is, it’s bad. I should probably leave, stay out of this.
But damn it, I can’t make myself do it. I hate seeing her this way. It’s rare I’m able to see the type of destruction he brings upon her, and when I do, I never say anything, but it still bothers me.
I guess a part of me, somewhere deep inside, does care about her a lot. I don’t get it, and I wish I could make it stop.
That’s why it’s going to be hard to leave.
“But I didn’t...I didn’t know! Alex...come on, I’m sure we can work something out! Please!”
She’s begging him like she’s begging for her life, and I quickly step out into the light. That’s when they notice me, and Sarah quickly turns her head away while Alex meets my eyeline, and smirks.
“Is my dry cleaning ready?”
“Just about,” I say lightly, having every intention on laying the clothing out in the driveway after he goes to bed, and running it over a few times with the car. “What’s the problem?”
“Stay out of it.” He turns to Sarah, and puts a hand on her back, rubbing it consolingly. “I told you. It’s not the end of the world.” He leans in and kisses her cheek. “I want my dry cleaning ready in the morning, Justin.” He points at me with a warning finger, and finally retreats upstairs.
I’m left with a shivering, sobbing mess of a boss, and I have no idea what I should do first...talk to her, or go run over the clothes.
Or another option is packing a bag and getting the fuck out of here.
“God, what did I do?” Sarah whimpers, and slides down to the floor, creasing her dress but not seeming to care.
I sigh harshly. Okay, I guess I should talk to her.
Although, after how she’s treated me, I shouldn’t bother. She’s created her own mess, as always. I gave her fair warning before he got here.
“What happened Sarah? Did you find out that he’s really not here to stay after all?” I shake my head and go over to her, hold my hand out to help her up.
But she can’t seem to stop crying.
Something is wrong. Really wrong. It’s more than I think, and that scares me...because I don’t know what else he could to her at this point that could completely crush her like this. I sit down beside her after a moment, lean my head back against the wall, and look at her. “Are you going to talk to me?”
“No!"
“What’d he do? C’mon, you can tell me. I know he’s a fuckin’ idiot. If it’s about him not sticking around...Sarah...you need to forget about it. There’s a million guys out there that would fall all over themselves to date you. You’ll get over him.”
“It’s not about...about that.” She sniffles loudly and roughly wipes her tears away, smearing her makeup even more. “I was stupid. I didn’t think. He’s taking Hailey with him when he leaves...”
“What?”
“He...he wanted to take her for a few years, and I thought it might be a good thing, you know? Like, Hailey needs her father so I just...”
“You didn’t sign anything did you?”
It takes a few minutes, but her sobs get lighter, and she looks right into my eyes. Hers are light brown like Hailey’s are, and the little flecks of gold in them make them look like two tiny kaleidoscopes when she’s happy. It’s rare that I see them all lit up, and they’re not tonight. They’re glistening with tears, and it’s the only thing that makes them look...eerily beautiful.
“I signed a contract. I didn’t...I didn’t read it. It’s a sole custody agreement...they leave...day after tomorrow.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I’m an idiot!” She smacks her hands on her thighs. “Go ahead! Just say it! I know you want to...I know there’s probably about a thousand things you want to say to me that you never get to, Justin!”
If I ever had a chance to tell Sarah what I really think about her, this is it. I could tell her exactly how she makes me feel, how much pressure I have riding on me every day with all of her lists and demands. But I just...I can’t do it. Not now. Not when she seems so close to losing her mind.
She signed a contract. He probably manipulated the whole thing, knowing she wouldn’t have enough common sense to read it through before signing it. He was after Hailey, probably because he wants money from the child support. He’s a fuckin snake. “I’ll get Brian on the phone,” I finally say. “Do you have a copy of what you signed?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “Alex said he’d get me one tomorrow.”
“Hmph.” I lick my lips and look at the ceiling.
“Everything’s done,” she whimpers into her hands. “Everything. My life is over...God...I have to hurl.”
She pushes herself to her feet before I can stop her, and hightails it down the hallway. I hear a door slam, and the familiar sounds of her vomiting into the toilet quickly follow. I sigh. What a fucked up situation.
Leave. Leave tonight and don’t look back.
“Fuck.”
I just can’t do it. Why can’t I just fucking do it?
I don’t know. I don’t know anything at the moment, except that Alex needs a wake up call.
And I’m going to give it to him.
Without hesitation, I get up off the floor and make my way upstairs. I can hear the TV blaring from his designated bedroom at the end of one of the hallways, and I don’t get how he can be completely fine with shattering Sarah like this. She’s given him a daughter, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her try so hard to make something work, except when it comes to him. He doesn’t respect her, he uses her, and I would say she deserves it...
But the girl has issues.
He’s just a prick, plain and simple, and I have no problem thrusting the door open and invading his privacy when I reach the room.
“What the...get the hell out of here!” He yells at me, bolting up right in the bed.
But I barely hear him. I’m too angry, my mind is too fogged up with the images of Sarah losing her mind. I can’t take it, and I wish I knew the reason why. “What’d you do?” I reach his bedside and grab him by the shoulders, knocking him into the headboard.
He tries to fight me off, but I’m stronger, and I intensify the hold I have on him, pushing his upper half harder into the wooden headboard. “Answer me,” I grit out.
“Get the fuck off of me.” He says, as he continues to struggle. “I’ll have you arrested.”
I laugh at him. “Maybe, but I’m getting to the bottom of this first. Where’s the contract you had her sign?”
He spits in my face, and it lands on my cheek, warm and gooey. I cringe. “Bad idea.” I knock him into the headboard again. This time he groans loudly, and I think my point is becoming pretty clear to him. “Where is it?”
He doesn’t answer me, so I do it again. “Where is it, Alex?”
“It’s...it’s there...on the desk,” he says, practically in tears. “Please...please man...”
I smirk. “That’s better. Now get up.” I pull him out of bed by the arm, and quickly twist it behind his back before he can get the better of me. Then I force him over to the desk, and have him show me exactly what I’m looking for.
“Is this the only copy?”
“Yes...”
I twist his arm harder and he groans in pain. “Are you sure? No documents on your computer or in an email?”
“I’m sure.”
“I swear to God...” I trail off angrily and put my face close to his ear. “I’ll rip your arm off if you’re lying to me.”
“Okay!” His voice is shaking. “I have a hard copy on my laptop! I’ll give you access....I’ll delete it! Just please, let me go! Don’t break my arm!”
It amazes me how quickly somebody like him can crumble under pressure. The problem is, he underestimated me from the beginning. I have a sister, two years younger, and when I lived back home, I would kick the ass of any guy who did her wrong. I guess...in a way, Sarah reminds me of her a little bit. She’s weaker than I am, and I’ve always been around to protect her, even when I didn’t want to.
Even now, when I’m on the verge of leaving her behind for good.
“Get me access.” I let go of him, and he turns, raises his fist to punch me, but I’m too quick...again. I let my own fist fly, and I deck him right in the face. His nose immediately begins to leak blood all over his face and clothing, like a running faucet.
Growing up with five brothers taught me well.
“Doo doke by dose!” He wails, hands covering his face in an attempt to stop the flow of blood. “By dose!”
I eye his laptop sitting there on the desk, and it dawns on me how quickly I can get rid of him. “You know what Alex? I have the perfect solution for you. Why don’t you get in the car, and go to the ER? See if they can put you up for the night, and then you can leave in the morning.” I pick up his computer and shift towards the open french style windows. “I’ll just dispose of the contract, and anything else that might be...you know...private.”
And with that, I drop the thing out the window, smiling brightly at him when I hear it hit the ground and smash into a thousand pieces.
“Doe! Doe by dapdop!” He races over to the window, still covering his bloody face, and pathetically stares out at the remains of his item.
“Alex, Alex...you need to be more careful.” I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “You can’t be dangling an expensive item like that out a window. That’s how these things happen.”
He stares at me for a long time, in shock and disbelief. Then, finally, he starts to gather his things from their places around the room, putting them into his suitcases, not daring to say a word to me because he knows better now.
He’ll be gone by morning, and Sarah will never have to worry about him again.
Mission accomplished. I guess I saved her in more ways than one.
I shouldn’t have a problem leaving after this.
I shouldn’t...
But I know I still do.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for reading so far :)
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