Chapter 14 – Mirror

“Honey, have you been under some stress?”

Adeline looked up at the lady who was holding her hands, examining them.

“You've bitten some of these almost down to the quick,” the lady said.

“Nasty habit,” Adeline responded quietly.

She sighed and looked away from the woman as she started to file what was left of her nails. Since she had been back from Los Angeles, Adeline had been an emotional wreck. Everyone around her had noticed, including Jamie-Lynn and Joanna, which is why they had dragged her out of the house today for a pre-wedding “spa” day at Joanna's. They wanted her to relax, especially Lance.

She wasn't even close.

“Here you go, my dear,” Joanna said, walking in from the kitchen with two flute glasses of red wine, handing one of them to Adeline.

“Thank you,” Adeline said with a smile, grabbing the glass from her with one free hand.

Might be getting a little closer, she thought to herself as she took a long drink from the glass, emptying half of it immediately.

“Slow down there,” Jamie-Lynn said. “We don't want a repeat of Lance's Halloween party this early.” She smiled at Adeline. “What will we do for Christmas?”

“What's wrong with you lately, Addy?” Joanna asked. “You've been a bundle of nerves. A walking, drinking bundle of nerves.”

Adeline put the glass to her lips and took another long drink, leaving only a sip in the glass.

“I have no idea what you guys are talking about,” she said as she swallowed.

“Need a refill, Ms. Winehouse?” Jamie-Lynn said, in complete awe at how quickly the wine had disappeared.

“I'm good,” Adeline said, exhaling a breath as she felt the alcohol warm her stomach and immediately calm her nerves. “I needed something to relax myself. All this wedding stuff...” She paused. “It has me on edge.”

“Try planning it,” Joanna said with a chuckle.

“Why would you be on edge?” Jamie-Lynn said, looking at Adeline. “The only thing you have to do is walk down the aisle and look pretty.”

Adeline stayed quiet, knowing anything she said at this point would give her away.

“You have to walk down the aisle,” Jamie-Lynn said with a smile, nodding knowingly. “With him. That's it.”

“Can I get that refill after all?”

“You like him,” Jamie-Lynn said in an accusing tone, ignoring Adeline's request.

“You're...you're crazy,” she said, scoffing a bit for effect. “I do not.”

“Well something is going on. You're perfectly fine one day and then you come back from your visit to Los Angeles two days early a bundle of nerves, with an obviously new drinking fetish,” Jamie said.

Adeline sighed. There was so much she wanted share – but under the circumstances, she couldn't.

She hadn't told them about her disastrous trip to Los Angeles. Marc had not reacted to her coming back early well. She had told him at the party that night that Lance needed her back early for some unexpected things, and even though she had managed her way through his shindig, Marc hadn't made it easy. He had nothing nice to say about Lance, and had repeatedly insulted him, commenting on everything from his currently “flailing” career to his “pathetic” boyband days. She had gone to bed early in tears claiming she had a headache – and she woke up the next morning before Marc did, hours earlier than she needed to catch her flight, so she wouldn't have to face him.

Seeing Lance for the first time in days at the airport, waiting for her, running immediately to his comforting arms, was wonderful – but it had been short-lived when they both came back to his trashed apartment. His spare key hidden outside his door had been stolen and the door unlocked by the intruder, who had gone through the entire house throwing clothes out of drawers, smashing picture frames, and even spreading toilet paper through every room.

“Who broke in here?” he said, picking up the toilet paper. “A fifteen-year-old? Toilet paper, really?”

“It was him,” she responded, tears rolling down her cheeks as she picked up the shattered pieces of a picture frame on the floor. “It was Marc; it has to be him.”

“Addy,” he said, trying to be comforting, “it couldn't have been him. He was in LA. In fact, you were there; you're his alibi, baby.”

Looking at her, he saw that his words weren't bringing her any solace. He sat down beside her, toilet paper still in hand, and grabbed the large chunk of sharp glass out of her hand, throwing it in the trash can beside her before grabbing her cheek to turn her to look at him.

“Look,” he said softly, “it was probably the same idiots that stole my tires. Idiots trying to be pranksters. I used to get this kind of stuff all the time when I was in the band – dumb kids who didn't like the music and thought it was cool to do this. My landlord is coming to change the lock first thing in the morning; until then, they can't get past the deadbolt.”

Even looking her in the eyes, he could see she wasn't convinced.

“I will never let anything bad happen to you,” he said, running his thumb over the apple of her cheek. “I love you.”

Despite what Lance believed, her gut still told her that Marc was somehow involved – and at the mention of the incident of his stolen tires, she questioned if he could have been involved in that as well. She wondered if he had somehow seen pictures somewhere already and he knew; maybe hired someone to break into Lance's apartment. It wasn't something she would put past her husband.

There had been no more break-ins or stolen tires the past two weeks, and seemingly life had resumed normally for everyone else, except Adeline. She had thought that going back to LA would result in something positive for her marriage, but she returned to find that it was worse than before she left.

She had mixed emotions – she was disappointed, but relieved. After her discussion with Stephanie, she questioned if she could leave Lance behind her to patch things up with Marc. She had realized that her feelings for him weren't simply her broken heart reaching out for attention; they were real.

But what really had her on edge, were the thoughts that were now running full-time through her head. With Joanna's wedding happening the next day, everyone was busy preparing. Lance's tuxedo was prepped and ready for him for tomorrow, and last-minute alterations on Adeline's bridesmaid dress had been made. Flowers were almost ready to be delivered, some decorations had already been hung, and dress rehearsal the night before had gone well.

What panicked her was that she was in a precarious place in her life where she wasn't ready to take the steps toward divorce – but she had every desire to spend the rest of her life with Lance.

“She doesn't just like him,” Joanna finally said. “It goes beyond that. If she only liked him, it would make her uncomfortable at best. She can barely function at the simple thought of walking down an aisle with him at someone else's wedding. She's in love with him.”

Adeline felt her stomach jump into her throat.

“I'd venture to say, by the look on our dysfunctional friend's face, Jamie,” Joanna said, “that the feeling is not unrequited. My guess is that they've been sleeping together for a while.”

“Well, look at us,” Jamie replied. “Good job, Sherlock.”

“Excellent, Watson,” Joanna said, feigning a poor British accent. She turned to Adeline. “Want that refill now?”

“God, yes, please,” Adeline said, feeling the guilty look painted all over her face – the exact one that they had used to figure out her secret.

Joanna grabbed Adeline's glass from the table and took it back to the kitchen, while Jamie-Lynn grabbed a high-backed chair and carried it over to the table, sitting backwards in it to face Adeline.

“How long has this been going on?” she asked. “And why didn't we know about it?”

“Since the Halloween party,” Adeline replied, already feeling a weight lift off her shoulders. “I thought it was best if you guys didn't know – my husband is a director, you're both actresses...you put together the pieces.”

“Since the party?” Jamie said, chuckling. “So you got drunk and slept with him?”

“At first,” she said. “And then, you know...”

“It turned into more,” Jamie said. “How much more?”

“Way more,” Adeline said.

Joanna came back with the glass, and pulled a chair over to sit by Jamie-Lynn.

“So this is not just about sex?” Jamie asked.

“No. I mean, that's great.” Adeline caught the glance from the lady doing her nails and cleared her throat, temporarily forgetting they weren't the only ones in the room. “But whenever I start to think it's a phase, maybe it's just about sex, he does something or says something to make me realize that...that it's never been about sex.”

“If it's so great, why are you stressed about it?” Joanna asked.

“Because it's so great,” Adeline said.

“And things aren't so great with your husband,” Jamie stated.

“They haven't been for a while,” Adeline said quietly. “He works too much and he's gone all the time. We're falling apart and he doesn't seem to care. And...I think he's cheating.”

Joanna and Jamie-Lynn exchanged a look.

“Do you still love him?” Joanna asked.

Adeline sighed. “I don't know,” she said.

“Addy, if you can't say it loud and proud, maybe it's not there anymore,” Jamie said.

“Now you sound like Stephanie,” she said. “She thinks I should have divorced Marc long before now. If she had it her way, I would be the one getting married tomorrow instead.”

“She's your best friend,” Jamie said. “She knows you as well as you know yourself, maybe even better.”

“She knows Lance, too,” Joanna said. “She's spent a lot of time with both of you. She loves both of you.”

“And she's emotionally disconnected from your marriage,” Jamie continued. “She sees what you don't see because she has no emotions involved. There's nothing on the line for her.”

“What are you guys trying to say?”

“We're saying that maybe you should listen after all,” Jamie said.

Adeline sighed, but she could see the caring in their eyes.

“I always thought, if you loved someone, marriage would be easy,” she said. “I mean, we fought and argued, but it was over stupid stuff. He didn't take out the trash or I got a new haircut and he didn't notice, things like that. Then his career took off and he was traveling all the time. He had less time for us. And even when he was in town, he worked late. I should have noticed the cheating and the lies.”

“We don't always see these things,” Jamie said. “We only want to see the best in the person we're supposed to love.”

“There's nothing good there anymore,” Adeline said. “He didn't even have any time for me when I came for Thanksgiving. We didn't see each other for two months and it was like I had never left. It didn't matter at all.”

“You guys are inspiring so much confidence in this bride-to-be,” Joanna said with a smile.

“Marriage is great.” The woman working on Adeline's nails had looked up from the table to all of them. She turned her face toward Adeline. “When you're married to the right person. I don't know who this other guy is, but from what I've heard...I know who I would pick if I had to.”

“See?” Jamie said with a laugh. “Even someone who has no idea what is going on sees it, Addy. Why can't you?”

“I'm scared. Divorce is...”

“Terrifying,” Jamie said. “Depressing. Permanent. Divorce is scary – but it can be so freeing, too. Trust me, I've been there before.”

“How did you know it was time to walk down that path?” Adeline asked.

“I wasn't happy,” Jamie responded. “We weren't the same couple we used to be, and it wasn't that we had grown up – we had grown apart. Like you and Marc, I assume.”

“It's too much change at one time,” Adeline said, exhaling a deep breath. “A new job, a new city, a new boyfriend, if that's what you want to call him...a new divorce is too much. I hate change.”

“You need a slightly less dramatic change,” Joanna said. She thought for a moment before looking back at Adeline with a smile. “Feel like becoming a blonde?”

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“Oh this was a bad idea,” Adeline said. She was terrified for the stylist to turn her around to face the mirror.

“It's not as drastic as you think,” Joanna said. “It's not platinum, at least.”

Adeline winced in fear.

“It suits you,” Joanna said, trying to comfort her.

They had finally convinced her to make the sudden change and had driven her to the salon before she could change her mind. She had been sitting in the same chair for two hours while the stylist colored, cut, and straightened her hair.

“Joanna, I don't know about this. Is it too late to change my mind?”

“A little bit,” Joanna said with a slight smile.

“Show her before she freaks out on us,” Jamie-Lynn said to the stylist.

Adeline took a deep breath and held it as the stylist turned the chair around, keeping both eyes closed.

“Adeline, open your eyes,” Jamie said with a demanding tone.

She exhaled her breath as she opened a single eye to look in the mirror. The image looking back at her was a shocking change, but she was surprised to see that it was refreshing. She opened her other eye to see the picture more clearly. Her dull, brown hair was now a bright and happy blonde that made every feature of her face look better.

“I love it,” she said, surprising even herself.

“It looks great,” Joanna said.

“The best part is, since you're staying with me tonight, Lance won't see it until tomorrow at the wedding,” Jamie said.

“Don't tell him, let it be a surprise. He'll be blown away,” Joanna said.

Adeline chuckled at her excitement. “You think he'll like it?”

“He'll love it.”

She smiled and ran her hand through her newly cut hair, which had been trimmed to just past her shoulders now – but the smile was short-lived.

“Addy, what's wrong now?” Joanna said, noticing the way her smile had fallen. “You don't like it after all?”

“No, I love it,” Adeline said without hesitation. “It's...”

She paused, looking at her friends' expectant faces in the mirror, waiting for her to speak.

“Nothing,” she said, putting a smile on her face. “It's different, that's all.”

She was relieved when they both seemed satisfied and turned away from her, but she could hardly stand to look back at her own face. She was staring at the face of someone who had kept secrets from everyone she claimed to love.