Chapter 20 – Not So Fast... (Part 2)

Adeline was surprised when she walked in to see that more people had shown up to the party. She was generally okay with small groups but it had surpassed her expectations, and she felt her social anxieties start to kick in.

She headed over to where the drinks were being served, intending to grab two drinks and hurry back out to the patio where not so many people were gathered. She had barely put in a request for her own glass of champagne when she felt a finger tap on her shoulder. She turned around to see Joey as the bartender walked away thinking she was done ordering.

“Joey!” she said with a smile. “Hi, I didn't expect to see you here.”

“I stopped by and I saw you walking in and couldn't resist coming to say hi,” he said, smiling back. “Where's Lance?”

“He's outside,” she responded. “Getting a breath of fresh air.”

“Lots of people here. I didn't know that Joanna and Nick had this many friends.”

“Neither did I. Where's your wife?”

“Home with the girls,” he said. “I don't plan on staying long, I just stopped by because Joanna invited me. Speaking of wives, I heard about you and Lance.”

She smiled, catching a glance of her ring as she took the flute glass the bartender handed to her.

“Yeah,” she said. “But don't say anything about it, you know, until some time passes. It feels like all these people know and I'm not even leaving for Los Angeles for another couple days. I'm kind of panicked about it. But at least I'm not the only one feeling that way this time.”

“What do you mean?” Joey said.

“The crowd isn't what has Lance freaked out. I don't know, it kind of seems like he got smacked with a big dose of reality today. He's acting sort of strange.”

As people surrounded them, Joey looked around him and then back to her.

“You want to go talk somewhere more private?” he asked.

“You have no idea,” she responded with a chuckle as she walked off behind him.

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He could feel his eyes open as wide as they could when he turned around and saw her.

“Hi, Lance,” she said, smiling. “It's been a long time.”

She looked exactly the same as she had when she had walked out of his life – straight blonde hair past her shoulders, long and slender legs, and wild blue-gray eyes.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, suddenly finding himself standing up from his chair.

“I got back into New York two days ago,” she said. “I went to your apartment to find you but you weren't there.”

She stared at him, expecting him to speak, but words wouldn't come out of his mouth.

“I ran into Mrs. Goodwin at the elevator as I was leaving and she told me you were here,” she said. “She seemed surprised to see me.”

“Well yeah, Kenz,” he said, thinking of his sweet and aging neighbor. “She hasn't seen you in over a year. She knows you moved.”

“Well, I'm back,” Mackenzie said. “I wanted to see you and tell you personally, so you didn't hear it from someone else.”

“How courteous of you,” he said, starting to feel emotions he hadn't felt in months. “How did you get into the party?”

“I sort of snuck in. I assumed that Joanna probably wouldn't let me in willingly.”

“You're probably right, and I don't think Nick would be too happy to know you snuck in either,” he said. “Why are you even here?”

“I missed New York,” she said. “I missed you.”

“You left, Mackenzie,” he said.

“I came back,” she countered.

“You left! You packed your stuff up in a couple of bags, walked out of the house and moved to Germany. You left the rest of your stuff for me to get rid of. You left me to cancel all the wedding plans, tell our friends and family that it was over...now you want points because you came back?”

She sighed.

“It's not going to happen, Kenz,” he said. “Besides, I have a girlfriend. I fell in love with someone else.”

“Yeah, I saw her,” she said. “Talking with Joey. A married woman, Lance? Really?”

“That's none of your business,” he said. “You're overstepping your boundaries, Mackenzie.”

“I didn't think you were that into infidelity,” she said. “What a surprise. You think you know someone, right?”

“This is over.”

He started walking toward the patio door with the intention of going back inside to find Adeline, until she grabbed his arm.

“Lance, wait,” she said. “I'm sorry, okay?”

He stopped, even though he knew he should keep going.

“I came back thinking we could give this another chance. I'm a little surprised to find out that you're with someone else, that's all. Surprised, and a little jealous.”

“Sounds like a personal problem to me,” he responded.

She smiled. “That's you, isn't it? When real emotions are too hard to face, you resort to sarcasm and personal insults.”

“Yeah, I'm an ass to people's faces – you just run, don't you?”

“Don't talk too loud, sweetheart,” she said. “Isn't that what your girlfriend is known for, too? She's the one who ran off to New York when things with her husband weren't going so well.”

“You don't know anything about Addy,” he said.

“I know enough to know that they're on the verge of divorce,” she said. “From the way that diamond on her left finger looked, I'd say I know the reason why.”

“Now I'm done,” he said.

“With me, it'd be easy.”

He had started storming off and she let him get a couple feet from the door this time, waiting until he had stopped.

“You wouldn't have to sneak around to avoid cameras – play by someone else's rules on what you can and can't do in public or release to the media. You wouldn't have to wait until papers are filed and a court tells you that it can finally officially happen. There's no baggage to weigh you down.”

“Maybe I'm not looking for easy,” he said, contemplating whether to reach for the door.

“Isn't it going to get tiring, Lance? Doing things on her terms, having to hold back how much you love her and care for her because she's still technically attached to someone else? You know she's going to make you play this game of charades until the divorce is finalized. She cares far too much about her job and her appearance to let anyone find out she was carrying on an affair while she was married.”

“I can wait,” he said. “That's what you do for someone when you love them. You wait – and keep waiting, even if they're in fucking Germany for a year.”

“And you got tired and moved on, didn't you?”

By then, he was almost seething. Her unexpected appearance after being gone so long had angered him – her attitude had made it worse.

But he couldn't walk away; he couldn't leave because on some level, he knew she was right.

“You're not going to reel me back in by playing on my emotions, Mackenzie,” he said, turning around to face her. “This jealous ex-girlfriend thing isn't going to work on me. We were great together, but our relationship ran its course. You left for Germany and I moved on. I can deal with Addy's baggage because it's what has made her strong, and her strength is one of the things I love about her. So you can step right up and move your way back out this door – because I've made my decision to make a life with Adeline and you're not going to change that.”

She was silent for a moment. He noticed her eyes change – they were almost sad.

“That's too bad,” she finally said. “I know how important getting married and having kids is to you. It's too bad she's proven that she only fails at both so far.”

For a moment, he got angry again, but then he pushed it aside.

“That's not going to work either,” he said. “I've already accepted that.”

“Have you?” she asked. “Have you accepted the fact that she'll never be able to give you the life you had always hoped for?”

“There are other ways to have children, Kenz,” he said. “Never doesn't mean never anymore.”

“Oh, honey. You can't see the future past your hopes and dreams. She's too traumatized. It'll never happen.”

She looked him in the eyes as she walked toward him.

“You'll tell each other that you can try IVF,” she said. “If that doesn't work, you'll think about surrogacy or adoption – but she can barely handle the mention of children. The idea of having a child around to remind her of what she's lost is far too painful. In ten years, it will still be the two of you. There will be no little feet running around the house keeping the two of you busy.”

Even though he was angry and wanted to walk away, he was frozen by sadness.

“You have to stop lying to yourself, Lance,” she said. “You'll only end up hurting both of you.”

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The last place Adeline had expected to find herself tonight was in Joey's arms. But they had been talking a few moments and he smirked and held his hand out to her, saying, “I would never touch my best friend's lady, but surely one dance couldn't hurt?”

She smiled. “Surely not.”

She knew Joey well enough to know that married or not, Adeline was a young, beautiful woman that he was going to flirt with. Like he had at Lance's Halloween party not too long ago, he would get in a couple winks, possibly make a couple of suggestive comments that would make her blush and giggle, and go home to his wife and daughters. As bad as it all seemed, it was always totally harmless.

When he put his arm around her waist lightly, she wasn't surprised.

“Hands where I can see them, young man,” she joked, adding in a playful smile.

“Well, that's no fun,” Joey responded with a grin.

He kept his arm around her waist, but didn't pull her closer to him, keeping a safe distance between the two of them as they slow danced.

“Would it hurt your feelings if I told you that when you first showed up, I wasn't sure of you?” Joey asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I wasn't sure of your motives,” he said. “A woman who moves across the country on a whim, away from a wealthy and by all appearances satisfying marriage, to take a job with a guy like Lance? It was a little suspicious.”

She laughed. “I've been called many things, Joey, but never suspicious. Like I told Lance, I didn't take the job because of money. Truthfully, I work because I love my job, not because I need money. My husband makes money – and he's got the ego to prove it.”

“So Lance tells me,” Joey responded.

“I guess that as much as I hide from chaos, I gravitate towards it. I was warned about the challenge that Lance would be before I moved here, and I still took the job. Maybe I should seek professional help for that.”

Joey laughed. “But look at what you've done for him. I haven't seen him like this in a year. He's starting to remind me of his old self again. I think it's a little crazy for you to think about getting married, I mean you have so much going on already, but you're both happy.”

“Do you really think Lance is happy?”

Her confidence was shaky along with her voice.

“You don't think he is?” Joey asked her.

“I don't know what to think. Since Joanna's wedding, everything has been so weird. I think he's getting cold feet. Maybe you're right, I have so much going on already.”

“Did he specifically say that he didn't want to get married?” Joey asked.

“Well, no,” she said. “In fact, while we were outside, he said that he still wanted to marry me...”

“There you go.”

“No matter what happens, Joey,” she said. “That's what he said. He said he still wanted to marry me and he always would, 'no matter what happens.' Then he said it was all moving so fast. Analyze that.”

“Maybe you should seek professional help, you do seem to seek out chaos,” Joey said.

She smiled and as the song ended, they separated.

“I don't think he's getting cold feet,” Joey said. “I think he's like you – overwhelmed. Lance has a questionable attitude at times but one thing I know is that he's an honest guy, and it has to be driving him nuts thinking about what he's doing and how it goes against his morals. Never in his life would he have imagined that he'd break up a marriage.”

“He didn't break us up,” she said. “We were broken a long time ago. He just made me wake up and realize that.”

“Then make him wake up and realize it himself. He loves you, Addy, I know that for sure. When you love someone, you only want what is best for them. You only want to see them happy, even if that means you have to suffer for the rest of your life. If it's him you want and not your husband, you need to make sure he knows that.”

“Who knew you were so good with love advice?” Adeline asked with a grin.

“Not so much love advice, maybe Lance advice,” Joey said. “Sometimes I think I could tell you what he's thinking while he's sleeping.”

“That's a little scary,” she said with a laugh.

“I've known him a long time,” he said as they walked back over to grab their drinks from a table. “After all, we were both teenagers when the group started. We traveled overseas together, lived on a tour bus with each other. You learn personal things, interesting things, things you don't even want to know...”

“I know,” she said. “And that's why I have a bit of a presumptuous question to ask you.”

“What's that?”

“I know that you and I aren't that close, but you're Lance's best friend. You're important to him, so you're important to me,” she said. “I don't have any close male influences in my life besides you two. I know he's probably going to ask you to be his best man, but I would love it if you would...walk me down the aisle instead.”

He almost choked on the drink he was taking when he heard her say it.

“I'm sorry, what?” he asked.

“Well, my father is gone,” she said, suddenly nervous that she had taken him by surprise. “My mom is too, and I'm an only child so I don't have any brothers to give me away. I don't have any other family or close male friends. You mean a lot to me. It seemed appropriate.”

“Are you sure you want me?” he asked.

“I can't think of a better man to ask,” she said.

When he smiled, she relaxed.

“I'd be honored,” he said.

She smiled, happy that he had taken well to her request.

“Crap,” she said, suddenly remembering why she was inside in the first place. “I left Lance outside in the cold like twenty minutes ago. I told him I would bring us drinks. I hate to dance and run, Joey...”

“Go,” he said. “It's almost time to ring in a brand new year. I think that's something you need, Addy – a fresh start.”

She smiled. “Thank you, Joey.”

“You're welcome, beautiful,” he said with a smile.

She parted ways with Joey, with a renewed sense of security in her decision. When Joey put it the way he did, she could understand and relate to Lance's sudden insecurities. While she loved him and knew she wanted to be with him, it had made her feel awful to carry on their relationship in this way.

That was why she was now, more than ever, absolutely sure of her decision to board a plane in two days. She had traveled to New York searching for answers to her life, and she had gotten them.

She weaved through Joanna's crowd of guests, who were all energizing themselves waiting for the big ball drop that would happen soon. Last year at this time, she had been in her Los Angeles home sitting on the couch with a blanket, watching the ball drop on the television, alone once again. She didn't miss that tonight.

Joey was right; she needed a fresh start.

She finally made it to the bar to get two new drinks. She was stopped once by Joanna while heading towards the patio, but with so many guests Joanna only lingered a moment. She couldn't stop the smile on her face as Joanna left her to attend to the party once again.

When she saw the two silhouettes in the light coming from the pool, she stopped a moment to process exactly what she was seeing. The female face was only vaguely familiar to her because she had been in the entertainment industry for several years; she wouldn't be able to place the woman if she walked past her on the street, but the minute she saw them lock lips, she knew exactly who it was.

Mackenzie Montgomery.