Chapter 27 – Climbing The Walls

New York – Six days until wedding

“How does this one look?”

Both Mackenzie and the bridal consultant turned their heads toward Lance waiting for a response, but they saw him staring off into nowhere.

“It's beautiful,” he said, without even looking.

“Lance,” Mackenzie said. “Seriously. I need to know what you think. The wedding is in six days.”

“Isn't this bad luck?”

She sighed. “That's a superstition.”

Truth was, that had crossed her mind too. The last thing she wanted to do was bestow any bad luck on the marriage – but she didn't have the time to worry about that.

“I don't want to do this,” he said. “Can't you get one of your friends to come do this?”

“I want your opinion,” she said. “You're the one I have to impress when I walk down the aisle.”

His phone starting ringing and he pulled it out of his pocket.

“You'll look gorgeous in anything,” he said to her, then looked at his phone. “Kenz, I really have to take this, I'm sorry.”

He walked out of the shop and answered the phone.

“Hey Joey.”

“Did you forget something?”

He thought for a moment, and he couldn't think of anything that he could have forgotten.

“I don't think so.”

“My last two days in New York before I'll be in Vegas for a month, and you can't even pull yourself away to remember having lunch with me? Well, I feel special.”

“Shit,” Lance said with a groan, dragging out the word. “God, Joey, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot.”

“You doing okay over there?”

“No. The irony is that when I need an assistant most, to keep track of my life in addition to all this wedding crap, I don't have one.”

“She hasn't come back, huh?”

“You expected her to?” Lance asked. “I keep forgetting appointments and lunches because she's not around barking at me to go.”

“Why haven't you hired a new one yet?”

“I don't have time,” he responded. “Kenz has me on full-time wedding duty, I'm running around constantly doing this or that or something else for this wedding. I haven't even had time to make any calls or schedule interviews.”

Joey had a hunch that wasn't the reason his friend hadn't tried to hire a new assistant, but if he said so, Lance would only deny it – like he had denied everything lately.

His drunken breakdown was only a vague memory to him now. His only reminder that the night had happened was a killer hangover, the almost-empty vodka bottle, the vague hint of vomit on his clothes, and Joey's word. He knew he had gotten drunk and called Adeline stupidly, but he had no memory of what he had said – only her name listed in his recent calls.

“Lance, have you asked yourself why she wants this wedding to go through so fast?” Joey asked. “I mean, I think it's a little weird that after all this time, she shows back up and wants to get married in a month.”

“I guess I never thought about it.”

The truth was that she kept him too busy with wedding plans to stop and think about it – and when he did think, Adeline ruled his thoughts still. He still felt her ghost in his apartment, but while the alcohol had staved off the flashbacks for a few days, her presence was still too fresh in his mind to forget.

“Who knows what happened over there in Germany, man,” Joey said. “I'm just saying. If you love Kenzie and you want to marry her, then by all means you go for it, because I want to see you happy. But I won't be the best man in my best friend's trick wedding and see him get hurt.”

Lance sighed. A year ago this was what he wanted. Nothing except seeing Mackenzie walk down that aisle in his family's church in Mississippi would have made him happier. Now he could come up with at least ten things that would make him happier, and it seemed that all of them included Adeline.

He glanced into the window and saw Mackenzie fussing around with the train of her dress while the saleswoman talked to her. He stared; she was gorgeous, and she looked happy.

But he wasn't. It wasn't Mackenzie he wanted to see through that window. He couldn't bring himself to be happy that she was finally happy. And the one thing that he had learned after his night alone with the vodka was that he couldn't even force himself to try to be happy. The more he forced himself, the more miserable he left himself – so miserable that he resorted to getting drunk to make the pain go away.

It had taken him a while, but he was finally realizing he didn't want to live a miserable life, pretending to be happy. Maybe she wouldn't answer her door or accept his apology, but he would be happier with his life if he had tried and failed, than if he gave up and never tried at all.

“Joey, what the fuck am I doing?”

“I don't know, man...I guess...standing around playing with yourself?”

“No, Joey, I mean...I don't want to marry Kenzie.”

“Finally,” Joey groaned.

“I don't even want to be with Kenzie. I want Adeline.”

“So then what the hell are you still standing around for? Why aren't you already on the plane and halfway to LA?”

“Postpone lunch?” Lance asked.

“Of course. Maybe with Addy around, you'll remember next time. Get the hell out of there.”

He disconnected the call and stopped for a moment to look back in the window. Kenzie was still messing with the dress while the saleswoman held the train up for her. She looked so content.

He sighed. He didn't want to do this and break Kenzie's heart the way she had broken his – but there was no way he could go through with this wedding. He didn't want it.

What he wanted was in LA – and he had to find a way to go get it back.

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It was just his luck that he would get stuck in traffic on the way to the airport. He figured it was karmic – and he didn't bitch because he knew he deserved it. In fact, he probably deserved more, and he was sure he would get it.

Part one of the universe's revenge against him was having to tell Mackenzie that he couldn't marry her. He had done her the decency of waiting until she had finished up in the bridal shop so in case she started to cry, she wouldn't be in front of people. To his surprise, she had only stared at him, not shedding a tear.

They'd had a brief conversation and she knew exactly why he was leaving. She didn't seem as hurt as he had expected. In fact, he almost sensed a feeling of relief from her – but maybe that was how he was feeling that he was picking up on.

Part two of the universe's revenge was the traffic. He had hopped in his car after leaving Mackenzie with cab money and had headed straight for the airport. He had debated going home to pack a small bag but it was an hour he didn't want to waste – but the universe had different ideas, because now he was stuck, for probably about an hour anyway.

Part three was coming up, and he was dreading it almost as much as he was knocking on Adeline's door. He had never been to her house in LA and didn't have an address or a general idea where she lived. He didn't even know if she would be at her house anymore. He couldn't call her; even if she answered, the chances that she would tell him where she lived were slim to none. He knew only one person that would know and might give him the information.

“Hello?”

“Hey Steph, it's me,” he said.

“Goodbye,” she said.

“Stephanie, please wait,” he said. He was grateful when he didn't hear an immediate disconnection. “Will you please wait and let me talk to you?”

“You broke my best friend's heart into a million pieces,” she said. “Why in the hell would I ever want to talk to you again?”

“To be nice,” he said. “To be fair, to listen to my side of the story, to let me explain that what you heard isn't what happened. Is that enough reason for you?”

“No. I'm going to book your flight to San Francisco and make you get on the floor and beg like the dog that you are.”

He sighed. “I guess I deserved that.”

“You're damn right you deserved it,” she said. “Do you know how much she loved you, how much she gave up for you? I spent upwards of a couple of years trying to convince her that her husband was a piece of shit and never could convince her to leave him. You walk into her life and within three months she's ready to file for divorce and start planning a new life, start moving on. She trusts me – but obviously, she trusted you even more. That speaks volumes about how she felt for you.”

“Steph...”

“Oh hell no,” she said, interrupting him. “Don't even think I'm done reaming your ass for what you did to her, James.”

He knew when she used his real first name – something she had only done about twice in the time they'd known each other – that he was in trouble.

“Do you know what she has went through the past few years?” she asked. “Her entire world has repeatedly been shattered. Over half of her life has been one disaster after another that she's had to recover from. All that woman knows is the pain of loss, and you know that. She let you in, and then you go and destroy her all over again!”

“Stephanie, you have to believe that I'm sorry,” he said.

“Why would I believe anything you say right now?”

“That's why I'm calling you. I broke off the wedding.”

There was a moment of pause on her end.

“You did what?” she asked.

“I broke it off,” he said. “Even if I wasn't still in love with Addy – I don't want to marry Kenzie. I would never be happy because my time with her has passed; I've moved on from that. I'm in love with Addy, Steph.”

There was a long pause, and then she huffed a breath.

“You don't deserve her.”

“No, I don't,” he said, agreeing even though it stung. “You're right, I'm a fucking dog. But I'm a dog who is on the BQE right now, stuck in traffic, trying to get to the airport, with no hotel reservations or even luggage because I need to try to get her back. And I need your help.”

“Why would I help you?” she asked. “You're the one who screwed up in the first place.”

“Because this is my version of begging. If I were in San Francisco, I'd be on my knees. I want this that bad – I need this that bad, Steph.”

She paused again, and he was afraid she had hung up on him until she came back sighing again.

“What do you need?”

He smiled in a brief celebration; one brick wall was broken through.

“I don't know where she lives or where she's staying. I can't call her and ask. I need your help just getting her to answer the door, because I'm sure she's not going to do it on her own.”

“And let's say that you do show up on her doorstep apologizing,” she said. “What makes you think she's going to forgive you and take you back?”

“Maybe she won't, but that's a risk I have to take,” he said. “If I show up and she throws me out, at least I tried. But if I stay here, I don't even have a chance. I couldn't even say I tried.”

“Why now?” she asked. “Why – after the New Year's party and the kiss, after planning a wedding with Mackenzie, after your drunken display and the phone call--”

“You know about that?” he asked.

“Oh, I know about everything.”

He cringed at her evil tone; whatever he said that night, he would probably never live it down.

“After all this time, a whole month that you could have gone to her – why now?” she asked.

“Dogs need to be taught a lesson when they do something wrong,” he said with a smile, appealing to the part of her that loved hearing him insult himself.

It took a few seconds, but he heard her chuckle.

“Okay fine,” she finally said, her tone softened. “Here's the plan...”

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Los Angeles – The next day

As the skyline of LA got closer, he grew more nervous. The insane delay in getting there had given him plenty of time to think – on the long flight to Vegas, in the hotel room he had to book to wait for his next flight in the morning, and now on the drive into the city.

If he showed up on her doorstep and she at least invited him in, he had a good chance that she would listen to him. But if he showed up and she slammed the door in his face immediately, which was a likely possibility, he had no idea how he would feel. Defeated, surely. The idea of it happening made him feel like his world might end, and he wasn't there yet. But all he could do was try.

His phone rang from the driver's seat where he had thrown it, and he reached over making sure to keep his eye on the road in front of him.

“Hello?” he said, switching immediately to speakerphone.

“The plan is in place,” Stephanie said, and he could hear traffic in the background on her end.

“Does she know?”

“She doesn't suspect a thing.”

He breathed a sigh of relief.

“She's right in the middle of packing her stuff,” Stephanie said. “She's been looking through old pictures, photo albums and mementos for like two days straight.”

“Is that good or bad?” he asked.

“Her vulnerability gives you maybe a ten percent better chance at this actually working,” she replied. “But if you end up getting your ass kicked, don't blame me.”

“I owe you my life for this, don't I?” he asked with a smile.

“Your firstborn child. And chocolate,” she said. “The finest Belgium your fat wallet can buy, pop star.”

He laughed. “I don't know if I've told you this, Steph, but thank you.”

“I'm glad you finally came around,” she said. “You know that I believe you two are meant to be together and I hope that she sees that. But I swear to God, if you screw up again Lance...”

“I know, you're going to kick my ass from here to China,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You'll have to get in line, Joey will probably be first.”

“How far away are you?”

He glanced over at the car's GPS system, where he had punched in the address Stephanie gave him.

“Twenty minutes,” he said.

“Perfect. I'll make my call.”

Suddenly, his overactive nerves kicked in.

“Good luck – and let's hope this works,” she said.