Chapter 28 – Crawling Back To You

Adeline closed the photo album she had spent the past thirty minutes looking through and packed it carefully into the top of the box with the rest of the albums. She still had almost two weeks before her arrangement with Marc was over, but she felt ready to start packing her stuff in the hopes of moving out even sooner. She had thought the extra time would be satisfying, but since Stephanie had left town to go back to San Francisco, the house only felt empty and lonely.

It wasn't the same as it used to be – but then, her life wasn't the same as it used to be either.

She picked another photo album off the bookcase in her bedroom and couldn't help but crack open the dusty cover when she sat on the bed. The dust meant it was the one she never touched – the sad one.

Old pictures greeted her when she reached the first page – her mother and father on their wedding day was the first. The picture was so old that by now it was torn and yellowed. A less-aged photo had hung in an ornate gold frame in their dining room for as long as she could remember; after her parents died, it hung in her bedroom at her grandmother's house. She remembered her mother's wedding dress always hanging in her grandmother's closet, and her never being allowed to touch it as a little girl, so she would stare at it and one day dream of wearing it at her own wedding.

She chuckled as she turned pages and came across a photo of her and her grandmother taken when she was only seventeen. It was taken a couple months before she graduated high school, and they had gone to the Jersey Shore to take advantage of the coming spring weather. They wore straw hats that were much too big for their heads and large Hollywood-style sunglasses, posing in their best “starlet” fashion and dreaming of the days that Adeline would be working for a starlet like that.

She laughed; in five years, she had never gotten the opportunity to work for a starlet. Instead, it seemed she had only ever worked for moody jerks. It was precisely the opposite of what her grandmother had ever wanted for Adeline and her career – and yet she couldn't imagine doing anything else with her life.

Her trip down memory lane was interrupted when her cell phone rang from the night stand. She closed the album and put it in the box, then jumped up to grab the phone, rolling her eyes when she saw Stephanie's name on the screen.

“Hello?”

“I'm about fifteen minutes away from your house,” she answered.

“You left a few days ago,” Adeline said. “Why are you coming into town to harass me again?”

“You try to help a friend out,” Stephanie replied. “I had a few days off and I was going to help you pack up the house and get things moved out.”

“I did hire movers, you know,” Adeline said. She continued grabbing things from the bookshelf and put them orderly into more boxes.

“Those cost money. I was trying to help you cut down on the cost by offering an extra pair of hands to get it done faster. You act like you don't want me around.”

“Act? Wow, I thought I was doing everything but saying it blatantly,” she responded.

“Come on. I'll take you out again...” Stephanie teased.

Adeline laughed. “Um, no. Thanks anyway.”

“I thought it went so well for you the other day?”

“He was sweet and everything...but I'm not ready,” Adeline answered.

“So...nothing happened?”

“Nothing I'd be ashamed to tell my mother.”

Adeline swore that when she finished her sentence, she heard Stephanie breathe a sigh of relief on the other end.

“That's a shame, he sounded like such a nice guy,” she said.

“I detect strong sarcasm,” Adeline said, but then she thought a moment. “Never mind, that's your normal tone of voice.”

As she finished clearing the bookcase, Stephanie kept her on the phone talking. It wasn't that she didn't love her friend, but she couldn't escape the feeling that she had something sneaky up her sleeve and it was the real reason for the extra trip. One-way, the drive was almost six hours. She couldn't imagine that Stephanie would make a trip that long to spend a couple days moving boxes and getting dirty and dusty.

She was working on folding clothes from her closet to put in separate boxes when she heard a knock on the door from downstairs.

“You're at my door and you're still on the phone?” she asked with a laugh. “You can hang up now.”

“Well, I don't want to miss your reaction.”

She raised an eyebrow as she headed down the stairs, taking them two at a time.

“Reaction to what? You showing up again uninvited?”

“No,” Stephanie said. “To your surprise.”

“What surprise?” She reached the carpet and walked through the living room to the door. “You're acting weirder than usual.”

The phone went silent as she reached the door and grabbed the doorknob, turning and pulling it in one swift motion. She expected to see Stephanie standing in front of her, probably with a suitcase full of clothes for another full visit.

But the last thing she expected to see standing there was him – dirty blonde hair and a pair of green eyes looking back at her. When she saw him, she was so shocked that she almost dropped the phone from her hands when they flew to cover her mouth. She took a step back as he stared at her silently.

“Surprise,” the woman on the other end of the phone said.

Adeline could only muster a breath of air that vaguely resembled a squeak as they stared each other in the eyes.

“I have to get back to work now, the traffic in San Fran is a bitch this afternoon,” Stephanie said in a mocking tone. “Call me when you're vocal again, lovely.”

Stephanie didn't wait for any acknowledgment, and Adeline didn't lower the phone from her ear until long after she heard the click on the other end. All she could do was stand in shock and look at him.

He stood awkwardly with his hands in his jean pockets. He didn't give her that cocky smile that she was so used to; instead, he was straight-faced.

“What are you doing here?” she said after a few moments, when she was able to remove her hand from her mouth and manage taking a breath of air.

“What I should have done a month ago,” he said.

He had hoped for a different reaction of course, but he wasn't surprised. He couldn't say that he blamed her; he was so nervous he could hardly keep his hands from shaking.

“I don't deserve it,” he said, “but do you think you could give me a chance to come inside and talk to you? Five minutes – then you can throw me to the curb.”

So many different thoughts went through her head at once. She hadn't expected his visit, she hadn't had the time to prepare for all the feelings she was experiencing – her immediate one being residual anger that made her want to slam the door in his face. In fact, the fear and nervousness of seeing him face-to-face after a month gave her that same reaction.

Then there was the part of her that felt the butterflies – the same ones she had felt the first time she had seen his face, the same ones she had felt when he taught her how to golf...the same butterflies she felt when he had proposed to her. They made her palms feel sweaty, her head go dizzy, and her legs go weak.

She wasn't sure she could throw him to her curb if she wanted to.

“I have to sit down,” she said.

She took in a deep breath and let it out, and without saying an inviting word, opened the door further and held it open for him – she could allow him in, but she couldn't look at him. She couldn't look him in the eyes yet.

He walked in slowly, afraid of what he was walking in to. He couldn't gauge her reaction to seeing him, especially when he noticed immediately that after her first eye contact with him, she couldn't look at him. She was shocked obviously, but he had no other visual cues to tell whether she was upset at seeing him. He thought he had rehearsed every possible reaction in his head on the way here, but now that he had arrived he couldn't remember a single one of them.

She closed the door when he walked through and went immediately to the couch – but instead of sitting like she had intended to do, she stood. She looked at the taupe carpet under her feet and bit her thumbnail, despite the fact that she thought she had broken that habit in coming back home. She was afraid – afraid of what the sight of him alone did to her. It had been a month and she didn't feel the same as she did the night she walked out on him. That night, she didn't want to give him a chance to talk, forgive him, or even stay with him. She had only wanted to leave, and in fact, she couldn't run out fast enough.

But now that he was back, and so unexpectedly...every recognizable feeling that she had felt when she first fell in love with him had come rushing back to her at once. She knew he had come back to apologize and ask for forgiveness, and it scared her to give it to him so easily when she had been burned already.

Standing in front of her, he could tell from her body language that she was conflicted – his appearance had thrown off her entire day. He searched for any indication of what he should do, but she was giving him nothing. She was totally blank, and it was something that he wasn't used to. It threw him off – he didn't know whether to ease into it slowly, or go immediately into the hands-and-knees scenario he had practiced.

“Addy,” he said, starting off slowly. He sighed, then cleared his throat. “I'm not going to stand here and tell you that what happened wasn't my fault. I know that's what you expect me to do because that's what I always do...”

“You stupid jerk.”

She spoke softly and slowly, and her lips showed so little movement that at first, he didn't know if he was possibly hearing wrong.

“What?” he asked as he narrowed his eyes.

“You...stupid...jerk!”

With every word she pushed him in the chest, sending him stumbling back towards the wall. She was angry; in fact, she was furious. When she had him pinned, she drew her whole body back and he braced himself for the punch that he was expecting.

Instead, she surprised him when she wrapped both arms around his neck and pulled him into her, kissing him.

He was shocked, but he reciprocated, receiving her affection gratefully. His arms relaxed and immediately, he wrapped them around her waist.

But as soon as he started to pull her in towards him, she used her entire body to shove him away. When her lips disconnected from hers, she balled up her fists and with all her strength, she punched him in the forearm.

“Ow!” he cried, immediately drawing his arm in.

“I hate you!” she screamed at him.

“Has anybody ever told you that you're hot and cold?” he asked, rubbing his arm that still stung.

“Has anybody ever told you that you're an asshole?” she yelled at him. “You wait around for an entire month to come back and then when you do, you don't even give me any warning? Instead, you plot with my best friend, the reigning expert at sneaky plans, to trick me into thinking that I'm going to see her on my doorstep and then you...you...just show up!”

“Out of all the things that you could be mad at me for, that's the one you choose?” he exclaimed, half-amused.

When she balled up her fist and hit him in the arm again, he winced.

“I hate you, Lance! I hate you, you sneaky little bastard!”

“I'm sorry!” he said, and he couldn't help but finally laugh, especially seeing the look on her face. She was fuming, but despite it, she still had a hint of a smile on her face.

“I hate that I can't hate you at all,” she said, “because I love you too damn much. I think I'm more upset at myself than I am at you. And I hate you for that, too.”

“Hit me again.”

She looked at him with a bewildered expression.

“Hit me for that, too,” he said. “Addy, I deserve it. I'm an idiot. I was so stupid to let you walk out of my apartment like I did – and I can't blame you for being mad. If this is what you have to do, do it.” He held out his shoulder to her. “Hit me again.”

She smiled as he braced himself for another punch to the arm, and she shook her head at him in amusement, but lightly drew her arm back anyway. As her fist came within inches of his arm, he reached out his hand to grab her by the wrist and stop her.

“On second thought, maybe not,” he said with a smile. “You have a hell of a hook.”

She giggled as he used his grip on her wrist to pull, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling him towards her tightly.

“I missed you,” he whispered.

He lowered his lips to hers, but she looked up before they touched.

“What about Mackenzie?” she asked breathlessly.

“That's completely over,” he said. “What about your husband?”

“So over,” she said with a smile.

“Well...we're both on the same page then,” he told her, a hint of a smile coming to his lips. “Finally.”

“We still have a lot of talking to do,” she said.

“Yes we do,” he said.

He knew he would eventually have to explain the situation with Mackenzie, but that didn't matter now. He was done with the other woman, and she was done with Marc. Even though she wasn't sure of all her feelings, they could start over, without any outside interference. It felt...refreshing.

“Now?” he asked.

“Not now,” she said, pulling away from him. “I have other ideas.”

He reached out for her, sad that after so long without holding her she was pulling from him so soon. But she grabbed his hand.

“Now, we make up for lost time,” she said, pulling on his arm to pull her towards him as she walked. “And I have a little memory to leave for my husband in this house.”

His eyes narrowed, questioning her silently – but after she had led him a few steps towards the staircase, his eyebrows raised.

“Addy,” he drawled with a smile.

She only looked back at him and smiled as she took the first step up, dragging him along with her with little resistance.

“I told you I could be spontaneous...”