Justin’s POV:

What the fuck?” I thought, gazing at the small bundle in Tara’s arms.  All I could make out was pink.  Not believing her word, I shock my head for a minute, trying to clear it.  The news came rushing towards me like a tidal wave.

Father?  Him?

No way.

But T would never, ever lie to me about some shit like this.  She wouldn’t leave me out of everything that happened when you had a baby: the months preparing, going to Lamaze classes, being in the room while the baby was born.  Would she?

I was literally struck still, dumbfounded.  I had a baby.  Jesus Christ, I felt faint and my knees almost buckled underneath me but I managed to lean casually against the wall.  It didn’t fool anyone.

“Are you okay?” Tara asked, rushing towards me with the baby in the crook of her arm.  “I think you should sit down, Justin.”  With her free hand she took my arm and led me into the living room, which was tastefully furnished.  Someone did a great job decorating in here, I thought. But it was a relief when I finally sat down.  Tara sat down next to me while Sasha, nosy as ever, stood in the doorway taking everything in.

Looking down, I saw a shock of light brown curls on the baby’s head.  I leaned over to look at her in amazement.

This was my daughter.  She was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in life.  Tiny and sleepy, eyes half-closed and smelling like all of that baby stuff.  I never thought I’d say it but it smelled so fucking good that I wanted to lean over and burrow my face into her to be closer to her.  I wanted to be as close to her as I could.

“You named her Riley?” I asked softly, not wanting to disturb the beautiful thing in her arms.  “Riley what?”

“Riley Katharine, after my mother.  I hope you don’t mind …” her voice trailed off and I knew she was thinking about how she had kept this hidden from me for months. 

She really didn’t have to explain much.  After I’d sobered up and thought about it, it was easy to see why she got the hell away from me.  It was all starting to make sense now, why she had left.  Who the hell would want to raise a baby in the environment I was living in when she was with me?  I mean, I knew she’d gone back home to Maryland but I had no idea that she was carrying our baby.

We needed to talk.  But first … first I need to hold my daughter.

“Can I hold her?” I asked, and she nodded tentatively, placing the soft bundle into my arms.  I never had a feeling like that before and I don’t think I ever will.  Looking down at that beautiful face that looked like a miniature Tara, exactly down to the nose and everything.  Then she opened her eyes and there they were.  Blue eyes, just like mine. 

My daughter. 

Damn, this felt good.

“Her eyes are like mine, don’t you think?” I asked T and she smiled and nodded.  God knows how I fucking missed her smile and everything else about her.  Seeing her brought back tons of memories that I’d put away in some dark closet or something, never to be thought of again.  Yet here I was again, with this woman I just couldn’t seem to live without.  And my baby – no way was anyone getting in the way of me having a relationship with her.

Gazing down at her like she was the first baby ever created, I held her close to me and inhaled deeply, wanting more of that baby smell.  Then I kissed her softly on both of her cheeks, just wanting to bite down on those rosy-colored things. 

When I finally got over the initial shock – because believe me, I still was plenty shocked already – I glanced up a Tara for a minute and asked her something that I’m sure she expected.

“Why?”

Tara’s POV:

Good God, I’m a nervous fucking wreck as it is.  Ever since I knew he was coming I‘ve been like a crazy person: exercising, cleaning, running errands to make sure everything was spotless.  Jen finally forced me to sleep in this morning to give me some rest but I couldn’t rest long because I could hear Riley crying.  And as soon as she started doing that it wasn’t hard to figure out that she was hungry and when she’s hungry, somehow in some strange way, my breasts know and start hurting.  But all in all I kept it very chill, not doing much but lying around with my sweetheart, doing laundry when she slept, sterilizing bottles, using the breast pump so she could have a bottle when I wasn’t around.

Riley is … my God, she’s everything to me.  I never dreamed that I would take to motherhood so easy.  Everything just seems to come naturally to me – at least after she was born, that is.  While I was pregnant my emotions ran the gamut of feeling euphoric to me sobbing my heart out because I saw a Lifetime movie.  Or when I realized I couldn’t even see my feet anymore!

The doctor said that Riley was going to be a big baby and man, was he ever right.  Fourteen hours of labor, but every second was worth it.  All the pain melted away when the doctor laid her on my chest.  I used to watch TV shows where the baby is gross and covered in slime or something but with Riley I didn’t give a flying fuck about it.  Jen and Sasha were both in the room with me, holding my hand and giving encouragement.  Well, Jen was doing it while Sasha recorded the entire thing on film.  If I ever get my hands on that copy I’d burn it, I swear. But she won’t let me near it, saying it’s for Riley.

Speaking of Sasha and Jen, both of them are way more excited and involved than I thought they would be.  They showed their love in different ways, though.  Jen would come by at least ever other day to help out and cuddle with Riley, but since I was staying with Sasha in JC’s place for a little while – I didn’t want to be alone just yet – she saw her everyday.  And she never came through the door without something new and outrageously expensive stuff.  Cashmere onesies.  A new little coat.  An outfit that she couldn’t resist buying.  She insisted that she only passed through the baby department on her way to ladies wear.  Yeah right, Sash.  Sasha spoiled her worse than I did, cooing to her and singing to her. Sometimes, when she knew I was absolutely exhausted, she’d come and get the baby in the middle of the night and feed her, and then the two of them would fall asleep in this big, comfy rocking chair that Jen’s mom, Aurora had given to me.  No wonder my baby was such a brat; she was passed from one hand to another, and she refused to go to sleep without someone singing to her, or rocking her.  She would hold onto a piece of Jen, Sasha’s hair or mine in her tiny fist and cling to it while she fell asleep.  It was the most adorable thing in the world.

Damn right my baby was spoiled.  Why the hell not?  You give then the world if you can, and while Riley wanted for nothing, I knew that I couldn’t leave Justin out forever.  Eventually he would hear from JC or someone about the baby.  Luckily, JC was never around the DC condo that he and Sasha lived in – he was always on the West Coast or someplace else.  If he ever came home, I’d go back to my house or to Aurora’s.  It was important to me to keep the pregnancy secret, and somehow we managed to not let JC know.  He was rarely in DC anyway, so it wasn’t too hard.

What had been the hardest thing to do was hide the secret from Mike.  He called me almost every day and he’d even been in DC a few times on a break and wanted to see me but I always made up some excuse.  I think his feelings were hurt but I couldn’t see him – if he knew I was pregnant there was no way on Earth that would keep him from telling Justin.  So I had to leave him out of the loop, but I was sure he’d understand that I had to tell Justin first.  I still felt awful though; Mike was beginning to think that I didn’t like him.  Now that Justin knew, I was going to call Mike and tell him the first chance I got.

But yes.  It had been several months since she was born and I knew I couldn’t put it off much longer.  I knew he was going to be FURIOUS with me but what else could I do?  I didn’t want my baby around the type of person he’d become.  Screwing other chicks and disrespecting me by cheating, doing drugs, hanging out till seven or eight o’clock in the morning … it’s not what I wanted.  The house was always filled with guys shooting the shit, drinking and smoking, so the baby and I would be trapped in the bedroom, like I was when I lived there.

But I didn’t live there anymore and if Justin wanted to, he could play a huge role in Riley’s life.  There was such a good, sweet side to J but he lets himself get pulled into the wrong things, you know?  Maybe this would give him a rude awakening.  He had a tiny, fragile, little person to take care of for at least eighteen years – actually twenty-two years when, not if, she went to college. 

There was so much to teach him, so much to say that I knew we could get away without talking about our personal lives.  So when he asked my why I told him the truth about the house, his friends spending the night every night, him staying out, everything.  And I threw in that I knew about Cameron and figured that I wasn’t giving him what he wanted.

“No, T … that’s true.  I was, like, fucking crushed when you left me.”  I gave him the hairy eyeball.  “Look … I ain’t gonna lie and tell you I wasn’t cheating when obviously was … but it was a bunch of meaning shit between me and Cam.  I never loved her and I never will.  You know who I love,” he told me with his eyes dark, midnight blue piercing into mine.

I tickled Riley under chin as he held her, averting my attention.  “I don’t want to get into this shit right now, Justin.  The baby can pick up on what we’re feeling emotionally and I don’t want that happening to my – our – baby. Let’s just concentrate on the good right now, okay?  Because to be honest, I can’t take this conversation right now.  Let’s talk about Riley.”

He sighed and I knew he wanted more but he wasn’t gonna get it at that time.  “When was she born?  Was she, like, a normal weight?  She seems so small, too.  Are you sure she wasn’t premature?”  And on and on went the litany of questions, which I patiently answered. 

It was funny.  Riley Smiley (as we called her) would cry whenever she had strangers hold her.  She was used to me, Jen, Sasha and Aurora but if anyone else tried to touch her, she’d let out the loudest freaking scream I’ve ever heard!  But with Justin she seemed content to snuggle there, probably eavesdropping on her two parents.  It was interesting to see that maybe there was bond there. I was glad, because I was worried she’d scream bloody murder when I left him hold her.  She’s not used to men except for JJ, Sasha’s younger brother.  He loves her and comes over all the time.  But that was it for her social life, which made it all the more surprising when she lay there in Justin’s arms, not a care in the world.

I think a little part of me was jealous.  Look, I carried her for nine months alone, brought her home and created a routine for her right away. Now she was cooing and gurgling to Justin like they were bosom buddies.  I was half-jealous and half in love with the two people I loved so much in the world sitting right next to me.  If only J hadn’t fucked up, we could’ve been so fucking happy.  But it’s too late, the songs says, “It’s too late, baby, it’s too late, though we really tried to make it.”

Justin and my relationship were finished we would only be co-parents in this big venture that was sitting in his arms.

Yep, we were finished.

Kaput.

Fin

Yeah, right.

Sasha’s POV:

Oh Lord, here these two go again.  Just when I thought Timberfuck was out of our lives forever this shit has to happen.  Tara swore she didn’t want him in any romantic way but there they are, all gazing at each other like long-lost lovers.

I wanted to throw up, for real. I could tell the minute she saw him that shit was going to pick up where it had left off.  I didn’t want Justin around Riley at all with the way he’d been acting lately.  He’s a fucking drunk cokehead who dissed my best friend by cheating on her with that flat ass bad fucking skin, Cameron Diaz. 

And I used to like her movies too before all this shit happened.

Now I’d had about enough of the two of them staring at each other.  I stalked over to the couch and took my goddaughter from Tara and said, “We’re going into the nursery, Tara.  If I stay here any longer I think I’m gonna vomit.”

She smiled like it was funny but I wasn’t joking.  This was bullshit.

Timberfuck was back and now he was never, ever going to go away because of Riley.

As much as I love that little girl, I despise her father even more.

Here we go on the roller coaster ride known as Justin and Tara.

Shit.

She just can’t resist him.  But I can, and I’ll do anything in my power to keep them apart.  My girl isn’t going to get her heart torn up to pieces for a third time.  Even if she can’t resist Timberfuck, I sure fucking can.  His ass is gonna be rolling out soon if I have anything to say about it. He better watch his fucking back.