Justin's POV: 

I was chilling in my bedroom - well not really my bedroom. I was stuck in the basement since the house has been taken over by the Tara contingent. I didn't care, though. Paul has a nice stereo system hooked up down here and I actually spend a lot of time here when I visit, which admittedly ain't often. But I was lying on the pullout couch, which sucks, wires sticking up and everything, listening to some slow jams and reflecting. Remembering. Memories of me and Tara when we were together. Fuck if I knew why I was daydreaming about my ex when Cameron was just like fifty feet away but I was. 

I do. All the time. 

Man, I tried tonight. I told Tara I could give her everything I know she wants and she still shut me down. I swear, if she hadn't heard Riley crying in the distance I would've had her, right here with me, listening to music and holding her soft body in my arms again. What I wouldn't give- 

What the fuck? Somebody knocked on the door. Must be Momma. I got up, not bothering to put a robe on over my boxers and opened the door to find her. 

Tara. 

Shit. She was all wrapped up in a silky pink robe with her hair down and curling all around her, smelling like that perfume Fracas she used to always wear when we were together. What the hell was she doing here? 

"T?" I didn't know what else to say. 

She was breathing hard and she looked angry. "Move," she said, and pushed past me into the room. Dumbfounded, I just closed the door and turned around to look at her like what the fuck? Because I had no idea what I had done to make her so pissed. She wasn't pissed when I last saw her and- 

And there she went interrupting my thoughts, getting all up in my face. "You make me sick, Justin? Do you know that? You come back into my life, no, stupid asshole that I am, I let you back into my life, and you start talking this old shit again. Writing songs for me. Smiling at me, touching me. Kissing me. With your fucking girlfriend right next door!" 

She wasn't screaming, more like talking in a loud whisper and God help me but she's never looked sexier in her life. I wanted to say something but she wouldn't let me. 

"I'm sick of the shit you put me through, Justin. In and out, back and forth. You're mine, you're not. We're together, then you're fucking around behind my back. I leave you almost four months pregnant and you don't even notice. When is it all gonna stop being all about you and what you want? It's time for you to MAN UP, Justin," I could smell the alcohol on her breath. "If you want me, show me. Work for it, motherfucker. Man up, show and prove, do something to show me you're worth it. Because right now I haven't seen SHIT. You got it? You want me? Come and get me." 

And with that she stepped back and started to leave but something in me snapped. Man up, huh? She wanted me to show her what I wanted? I had no fucking problem with that. She knew what I wanted and even though I was gonna show her with my body, she would know that that wasn't all I wanted. 

Grabbing her arm, I flipped her around and pulled her up against me hard. Her breathing was as hard as mine was and we both just stared at each other for awhile, taking in the moment. Then I put my hand around the back of her head and crushed her lips to mine, giving her the hardest, most forceful kiss I think I ever have. I always try to be soft and gentle with her, well, not all the time but most of the time, but this wasn't the time for that. It was time to man up, right? Well that's exactly what she was gonna get. 

At first she struggled a little bit but the more she struggled the more I wore her down until that ass was mine. She didn't have anything on underneath that flimsy ass robe either and I pulled away from the kiss to slide my hands up under her legs, cupping her ass. "You come here wearing this, drunk off your ass?" I asked her, almost sneering. She didn't want soft foreplay. We wanted to fight, and we never fought with words; we fought in bed.

"I … I didn't come here for this," she said uncertainly, her lips already looking pillowy and bruised. Wait 'till I was finished. 

Sliding my hand around to untie the robe and open it so I could put my arms around her waist to pull her up against me, skin to skin, oh yeah. "Don't give me that bullshit. Where's Riley?" I asked, still sounding angry.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"Where's Riley?" I growled, slapping her ass to make my point.

Looking dazed and confused, not sure what she'd gotten herself into, she said softly, "With Jen and Sasha … she's sleeping and I-"

"You what? Wanted to come down here to torture me? Wanted to tell me to 'man up'? Well, I'm man enough for you baby. And it's time we got this shit over with. We're gonna be together, Tara, and Cameron or Sasha or no fucking body is gonna stop us this time. You don't come down here wearing this and get in my face all drunk and not expect me to react like a fucking man. Riley's safe, and we're alone. So what do you think is gonna happen?" 

Then she surprised me, getting all mad again, still whispering harshly. "You wanna fuck me with your girlfriend next door? Is that what you think of me? Or is that what you think of her? That's fucked up, Justin, even for you. What're you gonna do, roll outta your bed with me and go over there and get another nut? This shit is priceless, I swear," she shook her head at me in disgust. 

"We ain't going anywhere," I backed her up till she was at the edge of the pullout sofa. Then, despite her struggling, I stripped that robe off of her, knowing she wouldn't make any loud noises because she'd wake up like fifteen people. "We're staying right here and I'm making love to you. You want me to man up? Well I'm up baby, and you're gonna be the one to make me go down." 

She brought her hands up to my face but I grabbed them and kissed her again, not as hard but softer, till her lips went from stiff to pliant and soft. More and more her body softened against me until I felt her knees begin to weaken so I slowly lowered her down to the bed. Totally naked. Body against mine, skin to skin. Oh man have I wanted this for forever. I linked our hands together and stretched our arms up over our heads, and then I left hers there and let mine wander down around her body. To her full breasts, over her slightly softer stomach to those womanly hips. Then I went for the gold, sliding my hands under her and going for the ass. Oh yeah, baby. That's what I missed the most. She must have missed it too because she just lay there moaning, running her hands through my hair and over my shoulders and back. 

I felt like I really was at home again. I mean, I know I was at home, but this time I really knew it. 

"Justin," she whispered, her hands running through me hair. Shit made me shiver. "I don't think we should do this … you're with someone and I'm…"

That made me stop. She what? Was she messing with some other dude? Aww, hell to the NAW. I lifted myself up over her and stared into her eyes. "You what? Are you fucking somebody else, T?" 

I don't know why. It didn't matter what kind of dirt I did, it only mattered that she stay mine. Nobody else's. It killed me to think that she had fucked around with the asshole Dave when we were broken up, going so far as to even get ENGAGED (albeit briefly) to him but you know I took care of that shit with a quickness. Now she was with someone else? When? How? I talked to her every day and I mean every day to see how my baby was doing and she never mentioned anything about it. Tara is mine, always was and always will be. Nobody can touch her and I mean that shit or I'm gonna throw a fit like no one's ever seen. 

"No!" she looked me in the eye and I believed her. "I don't … you know me better than that." Ahh, yeah. That's my girl. 

"Then what?" What the fuck was going on?

"I'm … sort of … dating someone … we've been seeing each other since Riley was three months old," she finally broke it to me.

I felt like the top of my head was going to fly off. "WHAT?!" I whispered back. "You've been dating someone for EIGHT months and didn't tell me? Where was he when I was around, huh? He too much of a punk to show up when I'm there?" I asked, furious. I didn't want to think of her being that serious with anyone. God forbid they were sleeping together, I think I'd punch a fucking wall. No one got to me like this girl. 

Struggling to sit up but still naked so I kept getting distracted, she tried to calm me down. She knows how I get about her. "Justin, no! Chill for a minute okay? We're kinda seeing each other … nothing serious. And NO I'm not fucking anybody. I just had a baby, for crying out loud. Jen just introduced me to a doctor she knows and we meet for drinks every once in awhile or go to a movie. Nothing's going on, although why I'm explaining myself to you whose girlfriend is next door is beyond comprehension," she said dryly. 

I got up off of her and started pacing the floor. Rubbing my head, I tried to calm down. "Why didn't you tell me about this before, Tara?" I asked through gritted teeth. "Why didn't this come up when you were filling me in on everything? Why isn't he here, if he's so fucking important that you can't be with me!" God I wanted to break stuff like Limp Bizkit sang. 

She must've forgotten that she was naked because she came over to try and console me. See how crazy, how volatile we are? We were made for each other, I swear. She knew the torture I was going through thinking of her with somebody else, even though my somebody else was right next door and she still tried to make me feel better. 

"Justin," she put her hands on my shoulders and rubbed them softly, trying to calm me down. "Tim is nothing special … he's just someone to talk to, you know? Everybody needs companionship - you should know that better than anyone," she reminded me and I felt like shit when I realized the situation I was in. But I wanted her, more than anything. I wanted her, the baby, and me together in my house, living our lives and having more babies while I made beautiful music for her. No more hate songs for Britney. No more revenge songs. Just songs for her and my baby. Didn't she hear me pour my heart out in those songs I played for her? Didn't she know that Cameron was just someone to have around? 

And then I got it. Companionship. That's what's she had with "Tim". Fucker. Hope I never lay eyes on him. But it was time to show her what I had that Tim didn't. 

I had her heart. And it was time to take it back. 

"Baby," I said, putting my arms around her waist and getting distracted again by the feel of her naked body against mine," You just left. You told me you didn't want me anymore. I knew where you were and I knew if something went wrong that Sasha would tell JC and I'd know. I was fucked in the head, yeah, cheating on you, but I'd never do that again. You gotta believe me. You don't need anybody else. Who knows you like I do? Who knows what you like I do?" and I started to nuzzle her neck while my hands traveled upward to play with her hair and sure enough she softened in my arms. 

"Justin, sex doesn't solve anything? What's gonna change if we make love tonight, what's gonna happen tomorrow? We'll both come downstairs and pose for pictures while Cameron waits off to the side for you. Then you're gonna go to her and I'm gonna be alone again," she said sadly and it felt like my heart was breaking. I never, never wanted Tara to be alone. Didn't she know she was always first on my mind? Well now Riley was, but she was right there with her. They were like my whole world now, all I thought about. I had to show her, make her understand that I loved her and only her. So I showed her the only way I know how. 

I reached down and picked her up and carried her over to the bed. She let me because her vulnerability was showing and she needed to be held and caressed. And man was I the one to do that. 

"Baby, you're never gonna be alone again," I told her. "I'm never gonna leave your side again," I told her as I lay her down and pulled her close to me, stroking her all over her heart-shaped face. Man, I loved that face. 

"Let me love you, baby. Didn't you hear the words to the song I wrote for you? I was a fool, T. Let me prove to you that I'm a man now." As I spoke I let my hands glide over her hips and thighs, slowly trying to get to where I wanted to be. I let my lips nuzzle her neck some more, then her cheeks, and then slowly trickle over to her lips, finally capturing them and stopping her protests. 

Have you ever drowned in a kiss? Have you ever had a kiss like in that movie Bull Durham where Kevin Costner says something like he likes long, slow, hot kisses that last for days? That's what that kiss felt like. Hours would've passed, people could've come in and out, the fucking apocalypse would've happened and I wouldn't have noticed. Neither did she either, because I could hear the little moans in the bottom of her throat, I could feel her thighs opening to the touch of my hands, and I could feel the way her tongue wrapped around mine. She wanted me bad, just like I wanted her. And it was all about to go down. I slid my boxers down and-- 

Tara's POV: 

Omigod. Should I be here? How did I end up naked in bed with him? I only came downstairs because I was so mad about what happened in the garden - him kissing me surely right after he kissed Cameron. I went in and put Riley down and got into the shower and just started stewing. The more I soaped the madder I got until I just had to confront him. 

But it all went wrong. 

He was naked. Well, wearing briefs, but naked. 

And I was naked under the only robe I'd brought with me, a stupid flimsy one because I thought it'd be really hot. So dumb, am I. I could've at least put on pajamas or something. 

But who am I fooling? No matter what I had on or he had on, this was bound to happen. By this I mean, hot, combustible sex. And the minute he laid me back down on that bed for the second time and spoke so sweetly to me, all my resolve was gone. Justin was the only man I'd been with for over 2 years and if you want to know the truth, I didn't want to be with anyone else. I couldn't imagine anyone else touching me. Tim was nice and we'd shared a kiss and a cuddle but that's as far as it was ever going to go. There just was nobody for me but Justin, no matter how hard I tried to get past him. And now we were connected forever through Riley? 

God, how was I ever going to have a love and a life for myself when this man just wouldn't go away? 

And right now I didn't want him to because oh Lord, he was slowly kissing down my body and he was past my breasts and now past my stomach and now at my thighs and - oh Lord - his tongue. He began licking me and sucking me and touching me with his fingers until he was driving me crazy, still managing to talk to me somehow. 

"You like this baby? You like my tongue licking you? You taste, so good, T, I don't wanna stop, but I gotta be inside you, sweetheart. Can I come inside you? Please, can we make love? Can we make another baby? Hurry baby, come, so I can slide inside of you, so I can wrap you in my arms and hold you and feel you all around me. Come, baby. C'mon." 

And that's exactly what I did. It never took much for him to push me over the edge, especially with oral sex, but listening to him say the words I so longed to hear just gave me that extra push. I was flying through the skies, lost in another world while he gently licked me and stroked me down until I could comprehend English again. 

As I lay there sweating and trying to clear my head from the incredible orgasm I had, he moved up and I could feel him resting against me, ready for entry. But I couldn't yet. I wasn't ready yet; I still had something to say. 

I sniffled. "What about tomorrow?" I said. "Cameron's gonna be here bright and early and what, are you gonna tell her on the day of the christening that you're dumping her? Yeah right," I snorted. "I'm gonna be standing there with my girls and their families and you're gonna be over somewhere with her wrapped around you. You're mad just thinking about me with another guy. How do you think I feel seeing that shit?" 

"T … I know I can't do anything about tomorrow. She's here and there's nothing I can do until she leaves the next day. But I swear to you that I will not kiss her, nothing's gonna happen between here from this moment on. There's only me and you here, baby. No one else. No Tim, no Cameron, nobody but us. And we're gonna be together, like for real this time, just like before only now we have Riley and nothing and nobody is gonna take away our happiness. Okay? You believe me baby? Because you know I swore to you that I'd never lie to you again and I'm not right now. Okay?" 

His lips were a breath away from mine and my resistance was fading quickly. I wanted him so bad that I didn't know what to do. But one last thing was on my mind. 

"I want to make love with you, J," I said, the first time I called him that since this whole little scenario began. "But … I'm not on the pill … and you don't have any protection."

He brushed his lips against mine. "So? We're together again, T. So what if we make another Riley or a little Justin Jr.? Nothing we do together can be wrong because we love each other so much, and we love our baby. I don't care if we have ten kids, baby. All I care about is being here, in this moment with you. We can't back down now. Don't let me down now, sweetie. Are you with me? Because I want you right now more than anything in this world and if you don't let me fucking inside of you I'm gonna explode." 

I couldn't help but laugh a little. He made everything seem so simple. I could trust him again, couldn't I? He swore to me, on our child, that Cameron was history and I was the future. But none of that mattered anymore. All that mattered was hot, burning lust and to be honest, I was feeling it just as bad as he was. So I sighed and relaxed into his embrace and just lifted my hips slightly, giving him indication that it was time to get it on, so to speak. 

And boy howdy, did we get it on. He slid into me so slowly that I wanted to scream, then stayed still for a long time, just looking into my eyes and brushing my out of control hair out of my face. 

"I love you, girl. You're gonna be my wife one day very soon, and I mean that." Then without warning he began moving, slow and smooth, kissing me all over my face and lips, resting his body on top of me while his hands touched my breasts and hips. It was like never before. Sensory overload. I could barely think, he was driving me so crazy. And every time I got close to that edge, he would pull back and make me wait until I was whimpering and tears were coming out of my eyes. 

"Shhh, shhh, it's alright baby. It just feels so good that I don't want to ever be outside of you again. Stay with me baby." 

And so it went. We tossed and turned, different positions, ass smacking, powerful thrusts, long, hot kisses until we were both breathless. Finally I understood what he wanted. He wanted us to come together and I could tell he couldn't hold out anymore either, so we resumed our initial positions, face to face, and he began moving faster and faster, driving me crazy until I lost it. Fireworks went off in my head, there was a solar eclipse and I don't think I could've even heard Riley crying, I was so out of it. And so was he. His eyes rolled back in his head and he shook and trembled over me just as I did. 

But we did it together. 

After it was over, we collapsed onto one another, exhausted and dozed for awhile. I didn't allow my mind to worry about Cameron or anything, I just felt safe and warm and comforted, just like before. Like always. 

We slept for about half an hour and then he stirred. "Something I want you to hear, T." 

"Another song you wrote?" 

He shook his head. "JC turned me onto this song and it just totally is written about us, T. You gotta hear it. Don't move, okay? I wanna come back and hold you while it plays. Okay? 

I nodded and he got up, went over to the stereo and fumbled around for awhile. Then the song came on and I was shocked, because I always, always thought of him when I heard the song. I even played it for Riley because even though J and I weren't technically together, I considered it to be our song. It's not a conventional song, but parts of it are so on the money that it can't be denied. 

The song was by Erykah Badu, called "Love of My Life (An Ode to Hip Hop)". 

I know J and I are always typing lyrics but music is sushi a large part of our life that we can't help it. Here goes: 

I met him when he was a, a little boy he gave 
He gave me poetry and he was my first 
But in my heart I knew I wasn't the only one 
So when the tables turned, we had to break 

But whenever I got lonely, or needed some advice 
He gave me his shoulder; his words were very nice 
But that is all behind me, 'cause now there is no other 
My love is his and his is mine 
A friend became the 

Love of my life, you are my friend 
Love of my life, on you I can depend 
Without you baby, feels like a psych of true love, yeah 
Is this shit getting clear? 

Or could it be that is was all just so simple then? 
A teenage love or you say he's just a friend 
He moved around and we kept in touch through his friend Mike 
The world was young and we knew we couldn't rush 

But whenever I got weary, or needed some advice 
He gave me his shoulder; his words were very nice 
But that is all behind me, 'cause now there is no other 
My love is his and his is mine 
A friend became the 

Love of my life, you are my friend 
Love of my life, on you I can depend 
Without you baby, feels like a psych of true love, yeah 
Is this shit getting clear? 

There's more but when he came and snuggled into me and I laughed at the part about Mike, which was so true, he couldn't help but tickle me with his stubble. How I loved that he didn't have to shave three times a day like when I first met him. He was right; he was really a man now. Old enough to get married. Old enough to have a family. Could he follow through with it? Would he break up with Cameron like he promised? I could only believe in him as I had so many times before. 

Only this time I hoped my heart wouldn't get broken a third time. 

But that was something to worry about later. Now I was with my man, soft music was playing, and we had the whole night to explore each other. And things were done on the ratty old pull out couch that will never be seen again.