And I'm changin' swore I'd never compromise
Oh but you convinced me otherwise
I'll do anything you please
You see in all my life I've never found
What I couldn't resist what I couldn't turn down
I could walk away from anyone I ever knew
But I can't walk away from you
“Seriously, Dude, why are you still messing with this chick? What ever happened to fuck and chuck?” Trace throws a pillow at my face and instead of throwing it back (like the last five times) I stick it under my head and get comfortable on the couch.
“I don’t know, this one’s different. She’s a challenge.” I watch as he rolls his eyes at me and I’m starting to get frustrated with this conversation.
“Jesus, Justin. Where did your balls go?”
“Shut the fuck up Trace. What’s your problem anyway? You’ve been giving me shit about Jayme ever since we met.” I pick up the remote and flip through the channels. I can’t stand commercials.
“Because, you’re wasting your time.”
“Stop being such a dick.” I finally settle on ESPN and watch the highlights from the Home Run Derby. Fuck yeah I’m an American league fan.
“Someone’s gotta be the dick since you’ve turned into such a pussy.” His tone isn’t the light and usual joking tone I’m used to. I sit up from my position and stare at him with what I know must be a pissed look.
“Wow. What is your problem? Why the fuck do you care about what I do or don’t do with a girl? Really, Trace. What does it matter to you if it takes me a week to bed a girl instead of five minutes?”
“What’s it matter?” The pitch of his voice rises and I almost laugh but that would be inappropriate. “It matters to me because I’ve watched too many bitches walk all over you and break your heart. It matters to me because I remember you telling me to never let you fall for someone like…her…again.” Good thing he didn’t say her name or I might have to kick him.
I watch him stand from the couch and stomp over to the doorway. “I care because I don’t want to see you fall for this chick and get hurt all over again. You were the one that told me it was safer to just fuck ‘em and leave ‘em, that way you wouldn’t have to worry about getting your heart broken again.”
He leaves the room with a huff and I cringe when I hear the door slam. Shit.
I never realized how much my love life affected Trace, but I guess now I can see how it would. He’s my brother and he’s stood by and watched as I’ve gotten burned over and over again, and he’s usually the one that helps me pick up the pieces. I guess I never really thanked him for that. I should. Jayme was different though. I really didn’t think that she was after my money or my fame, she seemed pretty unimpressed with both. The more I spent time with her, the more I realized that it was beginning to be less and less about sex and more about getting to know a really cool chick.
I can see how Trace would be worried, but that doesn’t excuse the way he treated Jayme the first time they met. I brought her over to the house for a cook out and Trace was a dick to her the entire time. She was pretty cool about it, making a joke of the situation and letting it all slide. She had every right to be pissed, and she did make a couple of comments to me after he left, but that was all I’d ever heard of it. Points in my book, because I don’t like anyone badmouthing my best friend, even if he deserves it.
“That was interesting.” I watch Jayme sit down in a lounge chair and stare up at me as I finish cleaning the grill.
“Sorry about him, he’s PMSing or something tonight.” I laugh but it’s forced and she can tell. She gives me this sympathetic smile. Coming from anyone else I might get upset, but she makes it feel comforting instead of condescending.
“You don’t have to apologize. I guess I can understand his reaction, I mean, you’ve taken me out on a bunch of dates and showered me with useless things…I’ll bet he thinks I’m using you.” She grins at me because she knows that she right and all I can do is shrug.
“You want another beer?” She accepts and lounges back on the chair as I grab us both another from the outdoor fridge. When I bring it over I motion for her to sit forward so I can climb in behind her. Maybe it’s a way for me to get her between my legs, but I’d like to think that I’m starting to be less of a pervert. I refuse to call it cuddling though, because despite what Trace thinks, I am not a pussy.
I’m surprised that she’s letting me get close to her like this. Up until a week ago she thwarted any physical advances I’d made, even the innocent ones. I think she’s allowing this because she’s had about four beers and I can tell that she’s fairly well buzzed. Chicks are such light weights.
“What do you want with me, Justin?” This isn’t the first time she’s asked me this question. I usually avoid the topic, but I’ve had quite a bit to drink tonight too, and my tongue is feeling a bit loose.
“Honestly? I want to fuck you until you scream my name.” Scratch that, my tongue is completely loose and I can’t believe she hasn’t stormed out of the house yet. Instead my ears a met with a giggle and I feel a slap on my thigh.
“I knew it.” She settles into my chest more and rests her head between my shoulder and my neck. God her hair smells good. “Well, it’s been three weeks and I’m pretty sure I’ve made it obvious that I’m not sleeping with you any time soon, so why are you still hanging around?”
Oh, there are a lot of different ways I could answer that, none of which make me sound very cool. I’d say something cheesy and romantic but Jayme isn’t the type of chick to fall for that shit. So I take another route all together.
“Any time soon? Does that mean that there’s a chance for the future?” Another giggle escapes her lips and I’m pretty sure she’s drunk. She’s finished off the rest of her beer and even though we’re sitting I can feel her sway a little when she moves.
“I will divulge nothing.”
A silence settles over us after that and I realize how much I’ve missed this. It’s been a really long time since I’ve sat with a girl and just chilled like this. Usually its twenty minutes and then I make them throw on their clothes and leave. I suddenly feel like a giant prick when I think back on all of that.
It’s a strange feeling for me, for a girl to have this much control over me again. I haven’t let my guard down like this in a long fucking time, and I’m a little scared. Jayme seems genuine and I’m pretty sure I can trust her not to screw me over, but then again, I’d thought that about a few other girls in my life and I’d ended up being dead wrong on all counts. I refuse to let my thoughts go there, though.
“Want to go watch a movie or something?” I glance down to see Jayme resting peacefully with her eyes closed. She lets out a small snore and I chuckle to myself. She’s asleep.
Carefully I maneuver myself from underneath her and manage to scoop her up in my arms so I can bring her inside. I contemplate where to put her before deciding to take her up to my room. My bed is the most comfortable and if she wakes up with the hangover I think she’ll have, she’ll want to be in a comfortable place.
After I get her situated and under the covers, I strip myself down and flop down on the couch. Normally I’d crawl into bed and see if I could take advantage of the situation, but I’m beginning to act like a gentleman. Besides, I can stand a night on the couch.
I know what you’re all thinking. You’re all thinking that I’ve become the worlds biggest loser and that I’ve let this girl take over my life.
You’re probably right.
Truth is, acting like a prick and sleeping with anything that had a hole to stick it in was getting a little old. It was refreshing to act like my old self and actually feel like a man and not just a dick. I was starting to like that Jayme wouldn’t let me sleep with her. She made me feel like she was interested in me as a person and not just a trophy. Which is ironic, because that’s what I had been treating girls like. I guess I was being used as much as I was using. Go figure.Trace didn’t talk to me for a couple of days after the cook out. When he finally did answer my call he apologized for being a jerk, but warned that he wasn’t going to pick up the pieces if she broke my heart. Fair enough.
After that he and Jayme started to get along a little bit better. I guess she’d called him and bitched him out a little before offering to take him out to lunch. He told me that I must be attracted to her because she’s got bigger balls than I do, I didn’t find that very funny. Sitting here thinking about it, I’d never thought that someone could have such an affect on me like she does. I thought that I was such a strong willed person and that I would never let someone change me again. I was wrong. It took me a hell of a lot of time to get used to being in a quasi-relationship again, but I was starting to like it more and more.And here’s where I stop because I’m starting to sound like a fucking girl.
